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Thread: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

  1. #1
    Gunsel
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    Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Analogies & Metaphors

    Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
    collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
    These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across
    the country. Here are last year's winners.....


    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
    compressed by a Thigh Master.
    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances. Like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it.
    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.
    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
    before it throws up.
    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
    hi s wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
    surcharge-free ATM machine.
    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
    ball wouldn't
    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.
    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
    comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
    them in hot grease.
    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
    grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
    Cleveland at 6:36 p.m., traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p
    m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fence that
    resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
    also never met.
    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
    River.
    18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
    that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
    19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
    plan just might work.
    21. T he young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
    for a while.
    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
    real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or
    something
    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.
    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
    she were a garbage truck backing up.


    I love #'s 7, 11, 17.

  2. #2
    Gunsel Mark's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Quote Originally Posted by ihategravity
    Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....
    Published where? In chain e-mails?

  3. #3
    Gunsel
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark
    Published where? In chain e-mails?
    Yeah, probably.
    My superintendent sent these to all of his teachers, and I don't know where he got them from. Probably through e-mail though.

    Doesn't make them less funny though.

  4. #4
    GODFATHER Mylazycat's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    # 22 is also gold.
    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Coker (Johnny C.) View Post
    Boobs do turn frowns upside down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marcdachamp View Post
    I'm sorry, I just have no desire to watch Wolverine fuck anyone.
    Buy The Gathering -and other great indie comics via Grayhaven Comics

  5. #5
    Right Guy Nonnie's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Some of those are genius. Especially the "Jeopardy" one. They're well-written, too. A little too well-written.
    http://www.myspace.com/nonnie_popadopolis

    never trust a big butt and a smile

  6. #6
    GODFATHER PeteL's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    17 is great.
    I am made out of water. You wouldn't know it, because I have it bound in. My friends are made out of water, too. All of them. The problem for us is that not only do we have to walk around without being absorbed by the ground but we also have to earn our livings.
    -Philip K Dick
    Confessions of a Crap Artist

  7. #7
    Made LordKinbote's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it.

    That one is stolen. I don't know from where, but I *know* I've read it before.

    Edit: Maybe it isn't stolen. Maybe the list is just old.

  8. #8
    Gunsel
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Quote Originally Posted by LordKinbote
    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it.

    That one is stolen. I don't know from where, but I *know* I've read it before.
    I figured that some of them had to be stolen from professional writers. But, it's still cool when a student comes up with some gem of writing.

  9. #9
    Gunsel Hawkdevil's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    Quote Originally Posted by ihategravity
    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it.
    7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
    hi s wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
    surcharge-free ATM machine.
    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
    ball wouldn't
    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
    comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
    also never met.
    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

    These are the favorites of me.


    Follow Me on Twitter! @mattaukamp

  10. #10
    Made LordKinbote's Avatar
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    Re: Some interesting analogies/metaphors by high school students

    And 19 isn't really a simile or a metaphor.

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