I am completely dependent on my girlfriend

[LordKinbote]

She has been gone for about 36 hours and I have:

a) Forgotten to give the cat water and
b) Left the oven on for 24 of them.

All estimates show I'll be a rotting corpse by the time she gets back Monday afternoon from Nebraska.

[andyjoe]

been nice knowin' ya.

[LordKinbote]

been nice knowin' ya.

Oh, you know it hasn't. Don't lie for my sake.

[J. R. Scherer]

Aw, crap.

[WinstonWolf]

You're missing the most important thing: is she hot?

[Garth]

My gf has been gone the same amount of time, weird! The difference is though, in the past 36 hours, I have gotten a new job so take that!

[Yossarian]

My gf has been gone the same amount of time, weird! The difference is though, in the past 36 hours, I have gotten a new job and masturbated too many times to count (and no, that is NOT my new job, wiseasses)

[WinstonWolf]

My gf has been gone the same amount of time, weird! The difference is though, in the past 36 hours, I have gotten a new job and masturbated too many times to count (and no, that is NOT my new job, wiseasses)

But do you get paid for it?

[Garth]

But do you get paid for it?

That depends, you ever going to pay your tab..?

[LordKinbote]

But do you get paid for it?

Not after subtracting porn fees and industrial sized lube tank costs, he doesn't.