"Nice guys" of okcupid

**Patrick Gerard** · 12-23-2012, 10:27 PM

Originally Posted by Morrison_Lad

Or calling an escort, who, as long as you pay her, will tell you anything you want to hear, talk about anything you want to talk about, have dinner with you at a nice restaurant, go to a movie with you, and obviously do other things as well.

Yeah but they won't start a business with you or buy a house with you or leave you notes or make you soup when you're sick and you sure as hell won't be doing any of those things in return with an escort.

For some people, it isn't about sex or glamour.

I don't know if it is for these guys or not. Maybe you're right, as far as they go.

I give up on this thread at the point where I have to go from defending jackasses who may be developmentally disabled to having to read tea leaves to determine the contents of their souls.

**Patrick Gerard** · 12-23-2012, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by ZimMan2

Patrick... did you seriously just Godwin this entire thread?

I dunno. Is invoking a comparison to Hitler as a landscape painter Godwinning?

Did I at least manage to invent a new form of it?

**J.R. LeMar** · 12-23-2012, 10:31 PM

“How am I still single? My female friends ask me that all the time. I answer: You tell me. You’re the bitch that doesn’t let me touch your boobies.” – NICE GUY (who also thinks that NO is occasionally a Yes in disguise).

“I’m that really nice guy that most girls have as a friend but wouldn’t date because It just wouldn’t work out, or You’re too nice, or whatever else excuse girls can spew out to not date a guy.” – NICE GUY (who also thinks men are smarter than women and whose opinion of you will be lowered if he finds out that you call yourself a feminist).

**C.B. Nerdlinger** · 12-24-2012, 05:21 AM

I do think some of these guys need to take a long, hard look at their scale before blaming their niceness.

**t.c.johnson** · 12-24-2012, 05:32 AM

J.R. I say not much of a difference while my anger was turned mostly inward, I was still doing what Cassandra and Treacle describe and seeing women in terms of alleviating my own pain rather than how to form a healthy friendship or relationship.

Again, gotta stress past tense....although before i was married there were a couple of times being rejected has acted like a trigger I usually get over it by next morning.

**Ray G.** · 12-24-2012, 06:15 AM

These are just bros calling themselves "nice guys" and wondering why it's not working.

The "nice guy" meme is one of the most overused and misunderstood on the internet, I think.

**restlessnative** · 12-24-2012, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by C.B. Nerdlinger

I do think some of these guys need to take a long, hard look at their scale before blaming their niceness.

Hey, I'm a big guy, and I don't have any problems....but then again, I'm a dick.

**C.B. Nerdlinger** · 12-24-2012, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by PDNDN

Hey, I'm a big guy, and I don't have any problems....but then again, I'm a dick.

Yeah, it's not impossible to get girls at that size. It's not even that hard. But I think a lot of these guys have such poor body image that their self-esteen comes solely from how great they think their personality is, and when that's not enough they fall even further into despair.

Basically, they need something else to feel good about.

**Treacle** · 12-24-2012, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by J.R. LeMar

“How am I still single? My female friends ask me that all the time. I answer: You tell me. You’re the bitch that doesn’t let me touch your boobies.” – NICE GUY (who also thinks that NO is occasionally a Yes in disguise).

“I’m that really nice guy that most girls have as a friend but wouldn’t date because It just wouldn’t work out, or You’re too nice, or whatever else excuse girls can spew out to not date a guy.” – NICE GUY (who also thinks men are smarter than women and whose opinion of you will be lowered if he finds out that you call yourself a feminist).

Ugh.

**Charles RB** · 12-27-2012, 05:13 PM

Originally Posted by Patrick Gerard

It's that these guys have pretty basic desires that they don't know how to ask for anyone to reciprocate. And their social awkwardness creeps people the fuck out, moreso than people whose desires are actually creepy.

Speaking as a guy who was and is socially awkward and has struggled to express said desires - only sometimes true, mainly people just get annoyed because it's frustrating to deal with an awkward stranger. And seeing stuff like the Nice Guy bashing helped me go "...oh, right".

In the case of that site, some of these people are saying "no means yes" and generally are acting entitled, if they're "nice" they must get something for it. That's not awkward. They're also being very upfront about what they're looking for on a dating website.