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Thread: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

  1. #1
    Right Guy Cassandra's Avatar
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    please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    As most of you know, I lost my Father a couple of months ago. We had our differences but I miss him a lot and I feel the loss with the Christmas season coming up. Whenever I think about my Christmas shopping I go through my list of people to buy for, and it stings when I realize that my Dad isn't on it. He won''t be at our big Christmas dinner, this year or the next. I can't excitedly call him up and tell him the newest news on my career or where I'm travelling to next.
    Last Christmas was equally hard when Rowan's Mother (my Mother-in-Law who I am very close to) was diagnosed with cancer. After months in hospital and chemotherapy it looked like she was finally on the mend. Earlier this year she was officially 'in remission' and was at home, getting back to her old self. Her blood count was high and she was getting back to her usual self - caring for her garden and getting out and doing things.

    We just heard that she's not officially 'out of remission' and she's spent the weekend in hospital. The cancer cells have recovered from the chemo and if they cannot stabilize it she has to go through more chemotherapy next week. I'm hoping for the best and will make myself available to provide what-ever support is needed.

    It's so hard, I don't think I could lose another family member again so soon.

  2. #2
    Right Guy The Beast Of Yucca Flats's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    Good thoughts? You all got 'em.
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  3. #3

    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    Bless you and your family.

    I remember my first year without my dad. I made it through Christmas okay but I broke down at New Years. At one point I was actually standing in the huge crowd at the biggest First Night St. Louis Celebration they'd had so far sobbing. Loudly.

    Lucky for me I had some good friends around who helped run interference from the staring crowds and who helped me find a quiet space.

    Just take it one day at a time.

    Find quiet spaces for yourself if need be.

    Don't feel pressured to be 'jolly' or 'happy' if you don't feel like it and don't do something if you really don't feel up to the task.

    If you worry about 'upsetting others' then, as above, find some quiet space if you need to be alone to center yourself in the midst of others.

    The two things that helped me the most was to think of things this way -- my relationship with my dad helped to make me the woman I am today. Ergo, everyone who meets me meets a little bit of my dad as well. And hopefully they carry away those best parts of my dad which are in me and make them a part of their own lives.

    In this way the good is shared and spread and increased instead of being diminshed by the loss of a person.

    It doesn't make the hurt go away but it helps a little bit to think of it that way. Like seeds carried on the wind.

    The other thing that helped me was to try to be the kind of person my dad would want me to be. He was an honest guy so for me being the kind of person he would want me to be means being an honest person as well as being true to myself and non-judgemental of others.

    Good luck and know my spirit is pulling for yours!
    A.K.A. Lailoni Prime Vesta (courtesy of Tom Stillwell)

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  4. #4
    Right Guy Cassandra's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    I love you guys so much, and thank you stress. A friend was telling me last night that he is indeed never really gone, I carry some of his personal quirks with me; and he helped me grow into the woman I am today. I am sad that he'll never meet his future grandchildren but I can tell them about him and share my happy memories.

    I'll try and stay positive for Rowan's Mother as well.

  5. #5
    Gunsel Cam63's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    My best, guys.

    Last week my boss was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

    She's 66 and was planning on retiring in 2013.

    So far the news aint good.

  6. #6
    Right Guy Cassandra's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    That is such a shame. My fingers crossed for your boss Cam, hearing that someone you care about has cancer is never easy.

  7. #7
    Made bert's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    thoughts and prayers Cass.
    "do what bert says" - Flamestar (c/o Ouzo Man)

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    "Evil people can do some non-evil things, and most of them do. That doesn't mean they aren't evil." -- JeffereyWKramer


  8. #8
    Made bert's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    Quote Originally Posted by Cam63 View Post
    My best, guys.

    Last week my boss was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

    She's 66 and was planning on retiring in 2013.

    So far the news aint good.
    yeah.. Pancreatic seems to not only always be really bad, but it also seems to be REALLY fast.

    so sorry to hear this diagnosis from anyone
    "do what bert says" - Flamestar (c/o Ouzo Man)

    A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal

    "Evil people can do some non-evil things, and most of them do. That doesn't mean they aren't evil." -- JeffereyWKramer


  9. #9
    Gunsel Cam63's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    Quote Originally Posted by bert View Post
    yeah.. Pancreatic seems to not only always be really bad, but it also seems to be REALLY fast.
    It's the bullshark of cancer.

  10. #10
    Gunsel Erica J Heflin's Avatar
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    Re: please lend me your strength again Gailbo

    I hate that when you say "cancer," it's something that a lot of people have intimately experienced. In addition to a family loss, my son's good friend (they're both 3) is battling ALL. It's not just the end prospects, but the struggle with the pain and illness of treatment, the weakened immune system, and the emotional roller coaster... It's something that touches entirely too many families. I'm sorry to hear that it's touched yours as well, Cass. I'll keep her in my thoughts and hope for strength in mind and body for you all.
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