Well, the school paper said the did want to drum up some controversy...

[michealdark]

I think this will suffice for them.

A Death Warrant for the GOP by Matt Bennett

What is freedom, my friends? Freedom is the ability of a man to pursue those interests that (within the law) bring him the most joy. What is equality? Equality is the ability of a man to pursue those things that bring him the most joy without fear of ridicule or violence against him based on his faith (or lack thereof), ethnic background, gender, sexual orientation, or the color of their skin. Freedom is equality, and equality is freedom. It is for these reasons that I declare the execution of the Grand Old Party of the United States of America. It is time to make their crimes public knowledge and to act to right the wrongs they have committed on this great nation.

Charge 1: The GOP support the subjugation and repression of those whose views they disagree with. They support bigotry, sexism, and homophobia.

A. The GOP is responsible for the majority of anti-gay rhetoric in the national media. While the majority of the country now favors gay marriage and backed the overturning of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, it was the GOP that fought the overturning of DADT and still makes disparaging comments on it, those running for the nomination even going so far as to promise to put it back into place, and trying to pass laws through the state legislatures that basically deny gay people the right to a normal relationship (and in the process deny them the right to say goodbye to their partners when they’re dying in the hospital). The couch this rhetoric in the words of Christian crusaders, forgetting that there’s a large portion of the population that aren’t Christian, are moderate Christians, and even have no faith at all.

B. The GOP is responsible for a war against the reproductive rights of women. They pretend once again that this is because of Christian belief, but really it’s all about slut shaming. They believe that it is impossible to get pregnant unless one deserves to get pregnant. They refuse to believe that babies can be conceived through acts of rape or incest, or that fetuses can pose a health risk to their mothers. They refuse to accept that women can be taken advantage of when drunk or high, or can be manipulated by their spouses into having sex when they really don’t want to. They feel that insurance companies covering contraception is the same as giving support to immoral behavior. They want to remove the teaching of contraception as a valid form of prevention in sex ed classes and want to replace it with abstinence only teachings, despite research that shows such teachings don’t work, and in fact generate MORE teenage sex and pregnancies. The fact that their anti-abortion stance also means that they want to go back to the old days of thousands of women every year mutilating their insides with a coat hanger wielded by a man named Bubba in the back of a pick-up truck doesn’t seem to faze them at all.

C. As mentioned above, the GOP doesn’t seem to get along with religions that don’t match up to their particular brand of right-wing Christianity. They look at Pagans as Satanists and Satanists as murderers, despite the fact that neither is the case. LeVayan Satanism is the worship of the self as god, and Paganism is the worship of Nature and natural forces as God (and Goddess). Neither one in their modern form supports such things as human or animal sacrifices, profaning the Bible, making candles out of the fats of boiled infants, kissing a goat on the ass, or any of the other things hardline Christians may accuse us of. Satanism attempts to explore the creative power of the individual through the use of ceremony and psychodrama, while Paganism attempts to connect the individual to the natural world and lead them into better stewardship of the planet. Neither religion believes in proselytizing. We don’t try to actively recruit your children. They stumble across us when they realize what they have been taught all their lives doesn’t jive with what they believe in their hearts. They feel that because of a few hardline Muslims attacked us, that means that ALL Muslims secretly want to do the same thing. They want to wage a Crusade against Islam like it is still 1184. What they fail to mention is that they also want to fight these wars for the oil that these Muslims sit over because they’ve become too dependent on their Big Oil puppeteers to properly invest in alternative energy sources.

Charge 2: The GOP is detrimental to the environment.

A. The GOP believes in reducing environmental regulations, and some even support doing away with the EPA. They are emboldened by, and indebted to, their corporate backers, who view nature not as something beautiful or sacred to be preserved, but as raw resources to be exploited for profit. As such, they do not care about the damage such exploitation costs, or what will be left for future generations.

B. They deny global warming and are unwilling to make proper investments into alternative energy.

Charge 3: The GOP supports a system of legalized slavery that they themselves are slaves to.

A. The GOP supports, or at least pays lip service to, the Capitalist idea of economics. In truth, what they really support is corporatism. Corporatism is when a business performs a service for the government, and receives preferential treatment in return. Corporatism is a very dangerous road, and it could be argued is the first step towards Fascism. Fascism is a corporatist economic policy combined with a “might makes right” foreign policy (racism may be involved as well, but is not necessary…neither Mussolini nor Franco were particularly interested in race, it was their ally that was).

B. Even if the GOP did more than pay lip service to Capitalism, I believe Capitalism is a system detrimental to man’s basic humanity. That’s a topic beyond the scope of this piece, though.

Charge 4: The GOP doesn’t care about your health.

A. The GOP were the ones that refused to even come to the table in good faith during the health care debates. Now they are the ones trying to overturn the Obama health care law.

Charge 5: Obama deserves a lot of blame for not changing national drug policy. It is a major failing of his presidency. However, the so-called “War of Drugs” is a product of Reagan-era policy.

A. It is these policies, which disproportionately affect minorities, which has allowed our prison system to swell to the point where we have to release violent offenders early to make room for minor drug offender.

B. On top of this, the prison system is in desperate need of an overhaul. Right now it is a penal system. It serves no purpose but to separate criminals from the general population. What we need is a rehabilitative system. In a penal system, prisoners fall into a survival of the fittest mode of life. They learn to be even more aggressive and violent so that they aren’t attacked by their fellow prisoners, who have been inculcated with the same mentality. When they are released, they often relapse back into crime because this violence and desperation have now been ingrained in their minds as the only way to survive. They don’t learn the skills needed to re-enter society. We must teach them these skills. We must teach them that there is life in the outside world, that people aren’t against them, and that they can succeed in rebuilding their lives if they have a little willpower. We need to teach them job training, give them a proper education if they are lacking in it, and help them develop the emotional skills they need not to lash out at the world.

Charge 6: The GOP is responsible for the ghettoization of the American poor, both brown and white skinned.

A. The GOP, thanks to the Paul Ryan budget, is actively trying to dismantle the social safety net by deeply cutting Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security. They stand against stimulus spending and public works, tactics that helped lead us out of the depression. They want to slash education spending, instead of investing more in rural and urban areas where students do the poorest and have the least likelihood of social advancement.

Charge 7: The GOP claims to stand for Christian values, while apparently never reading the Bible.

A. The GOP likes to cloak themselves in the robes of righteous monks while secretly hiding their bat wings. The Jesus they claim to believe in does not appear in any Bible I have read. The Jesus I’ve met in the Book healed the sick free of charge, held company with a whore, who became second only to his mother as the female leader of the Church, preached that his Father is eternal love and that one can reach him by asking for forgiveness for their wrongdoings, laughed in the face of orthodoxy, and said that it is easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter Heaven. The Jesus I’ve met is in every way a (nonviolent but still) revolutionary socialist, not the Big Business, anti-woman hatemonger the GOP seems to believe he was.

It is for these reasons that this court finds the GOP guilty for hate crimes, fraud, terrorism both domestic and foreign, murder, and the rape of the American dream. We find the GOP to be in violation of the very ideals on which the country was founded: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.” We hereby sentence them to death by electoral irrelevancy. You are the executioners. Deny them the right to exist. Every election cycle, at every chance you get, FIRE THEM! Kick them out of office and block them getting in. Show them that their backward, prejudicial way of thinking is no longer needed in a modern society.

[ZimMan2]

High School paper? Let me tell ya, I thought about writing something like this for my high school paper, but never did. More so out of laziness than fear, though.

As someone who advocates a middle ground more often than not, I should probably consider this crossing some sort of line, but honestly, if it's a college paper, I don't think it's that shocking, and if it's a high school paper, then honestly, fuck it. Those things need a little more spice as is. As do high schools in general.

Can you tell I just got out of high school and am rather bitter about the experience?

[michealdark]

College paper.

And yes I can, but that's okay.

[zemo]

Know what's going to be funny? Seeing all the GOP bullies come out of the woodwork and pile onto this, blowing it completely out of proportion, basically trying to pressure a college newspaper into a redaction. Because that's how insecure they are.

[michealdark]

Well, the title is kind of inflammatory. But that's the point. It's supposed to shock people into thinking. I just hope people are smart enough to realize I'm not really calling for violence against Republicans though. I'm saying that you can use the voting both to drive them out of existence by denying them power. AQnd this is assuming my editor will even accept it. It does have some grammatical errors and spelling errors that need correcting before it goes to press, because I suck at typing.

[Slewo.O]

Know what's going to be funny? Seeing all the GOP bullies come out of the woodwork and pile onto this, blowing it completely out of proportion, basically trying to pressure a college newspaper into a redaction. Because that's how insecure they are.

And yet when they say their bile, it's a-ok.

[RachelEvil]

Nixon's responsible for the War on Drugs, not King Pigfucker.

But, otherwise, yeah.

[michealdark]

Wasn't it Reagan that actually turned it into a war, with actual troops being used to burn fields and paramilitary forces being used against cartels?

[michealdark]

I did originally intend to implore those fiscal conservative, socially moderate Republicans out there to jump ship and join the Libertarian party, since I don't think the modern GOP does anything more than pay lip service to them. Join a party that actually stands for their ideals, and let the social conservatives and the loons run the sinking ship into the deep like they already are, but I was rushed for time when I originally wrote this, and didn't have my flash drive to save it to, so i just sent it to my editor, then went into my sent folder later and just copied and pasted. That's my fault, and if I have to resubmit, which I hope I do because I also have spelling errors and grammatical errors that need fixing, I will add that in. I will also ask for the email of our conservative writer, so I can submit it to him to create a counterargument, since that's only fair.

I have no issues with fiscal conservatives. While I disagree with them about the need to slash programs, I understand their positions. It's the social conservatives that I have the problems with, and the GOP has been hijacked by them for the past 30 years. The Republicanism of today is much more extreme than the Republicanism of Nixon, Eisenhower, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln. They'd probably be Democrats today.

[ZimMan2]

And oh, yeah, the GOP, as a collective, has totally lost its fucking mind.