By that reasoning, due to Magneto's actions alone, the Avengers don't have any responsibility to help out the X-Men. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Do the X-Men want help or not? The Avengers have offered numerous times, as pointed out many times in the thread, and they have been refused each time. Short sighted pride issues aside, it's a poor way to react when the "rest of the planet' reaches out to mutant kind.
As for being "desperate", it's not ok when the Avengers are desperate to save the Earth, but it's ok if the X-Men are desperate to save only mutants?
Again, the Avengers have reached out, offered to help, even helped change the perception of mutants by putting high profile mutants on their team. To say they haven't done enough is being specious and flat out ignoring facts
As for approaching the X-Men, look at it from their perspective.. the X-Men were aware of a potentially dangerous situation and rather than reassure anyone or even inform them, they choose to keep it quiet and cover it up. So, no one can be blamed for reacting when conspiracies are being formed to protect the 1% when 99% of the rest of the 616 is in danger. Bad guys conspire and hide the truth, which makes the X-men the bad guys -- especially when most of the team is made up of bad guys.
Had Cyclops contacted Cap and said, "Hey, just in case you guys aren't aware, the Phoenix is on its way, but have no worries, we know how to control it, we have experience in this sort of thing. Please trust us to handle this." there'd be no problem. Instead, he chose to keep the world in the dark on the selfish hope he can use the Phoenix force to change the world to one where mutants are in charge.
Hardly the actions of a good guy. Even Magneto hasn't gone that far.





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