The totally false DCNu rumor thread.

[michealdark]

John Constantine is Zatanna's bitch

[Patrick Gerard]

John Constantine is Zatanna's bitch

I thought we were talking *false* rumors here.

[Patrick Gerard]

Boehner will refuse to confirm J'onn, citing his fear of "Martian anchor babies".

Ah, the age old rivalry between the Green Martians and the Orange Martians.

[Patrick Gerard]

Batman is his own grandpa

So, assuming Bruce Wayne didn't seduce his grandma, do you suppose that means he immaculately conceived Thomas Wayne. Heck, maybe Martha too. All this backstory on the Wayne legacy and it turns out Batman created his parents in a lab and then shot them, posing as a mugger, to create himself.

[Patrick Gerard]

Aquaman will have a Peg leg instead of a Hook hand.

Bizarro Aquaman will have a peg hand and a hook leg and die if exposed to water for more than an hour.

[michealdark]

There will be copious crossovers with Twilight and Dark-Hunters. (Preferably with the Dark-Hunters killing the Twilight kids by the dozens, because no matter how de-fanged Sherrilyn Kenyon's vampires are, they're still a thousand times more badass than any of the Cullens will ever be)