My usefulness to this board is over...........

[Angel]

When you work security for a university, you end up expecting anything from anyone. I mean where else do you get lines like "I suppose you're wondering why I'm carrying my bra...?"

good point. i bet you have some good stories to go with those quotes too

[Brewtown Andy]

good point. i bet you have some good stories to go with those quotes too

One of my best stories is my first story.

The first residence hall I worked in, I faced the western entrance. Between me and the entrance was a wall with a series of floor to ceiling windows. Students had to go around the wall to come to the desk where I was sitting.

One night, I see the exterior door open a little and close, open a little and close, etc. I figure probably nothing, someone talking to a friend and just not coming in immediately. Then I see the cause. This tiny blonde girl named Megan is drunk out of her mind, and has finally made it through the door, except now she has to deal with the second set of doors. Same struggle.

By this point, I've already called for someone to come over and check her out before she goes upstairs, since she was by herself. She makes it through the door, and heads for the desk. She realizes that the window wall is there about 3 seconds too late, and smacks right into it. She then slides along the wall, missing where it ends, and goes shooting into the little alcove where the vending machines are. After about a 60 second struggle to find her way out, she then pinballs, not weaves, PINBALLS, actually BOUNCING back and forth off the wall and the window wall to get to the desk. Blah blah blah she ends up going to bed.

This was a Friday night. But the story's not done yet.

The next Tuesday night, I'm back at work. Megan comes downstairs to ask a question of whoever's at the desk. I see her get off the elevator, and since nothing else was going on, I turn to her and say "What can I do for you, Megan?" She is TOTALLY surprised I know her name. I answer her question, and then she says: "Do you work on the weekends?" I'm vaguely flattered (I was 4 years older than her), but it would take an act of God to get involved with someone who drinks like that, much less someone who lives in the building where I work (Don't shit where you eat, etc.). It takes all of my willpower to say "You don't remember LAST weekend, do you?" I say yes I work every weekend. She gets a disappointed look on her face and says, "oh, that's too bad."

I've got a million of them.