What do you say when someone from your past wants to hang out, but you don't want to?

[Matt Jay]

It's an awkward situation, which would only get more awkward if I actually did go hang out. I don't think I could handle two hours of talking about memories while having nothing else in common. At the same time, I don't want to be rude. What do you people do?

[Marcdachamp]

Typically I'll act like I want to, then delay it until it never happens. Works every time.

If it's an ex, I usually just tell them "No, that's not a good idea."

[Susan BANthony]

"Sorry, my job requires me to be on call 24/7, so I don't have a lot of hanging out time."

I actually AM on call (they almost never need me), but that's usually enough of a detractor.

[bachman]

Typically I'll act like I want to, then delay it until it never happens. Works every time.

If it's an ex, I usually just tell them "No, that's not a good idea."

This.

[BenC (formerly Ape-X)]

Yeah, I know it's the least honorable way to handle it, but the "stall until they get the hint" has worked for me in the past.

[Matt Jay]

Typically I'll act like I want to, then delay it until it never happens. Works every time.

Perfect.

[Marcdachamp]

Yeah, I know it's the least honorable way to handle it, but the "stall until they get the hint" has worked for me in the past.

Yeah, I know it really is, but it's the easiest way to let someone down without hurting their feelings.

[hamgravy]

Typically I'll act like I want to, then delay it until it never happens. Works every time.
If it's an ex, I usually just tell them "No, that's not a good idea."

Same with the delay tactic, unfortunately I don't think there's enough tact in the world to explain otherwise to a casual acquaintance or old friend.

In terms of an ex, I was once so proud that I thought I did the right thing by being honest and explaining that I was glad to run into her and that she was doing well but that I already had a busy schedule and in all likelihood wouldn't be able to make time to hang out. Only later did I feel like a heel but I'm still glad I gave honesty a shot.

[costello]

I agree with bachman and Marcdachamp's second scenario, but not the first.

Telling someone "this is not a good idea" isn't a bad thing. If you're passive-aggressive like the first scenario, it works, but you're adding quite a bit of anxiety to your life that you just don't need. Be honest.

[hamgravy]

I agree with bachman and Marcdachamp's second scenario, but not the first.

Telling someone "this is not a good idea" isn't a bad thing. If you're passive-aggressive like the first scenario, it works, but you're adding quite a bit of anxiety to your life that you just don't need. Be honest.

So what would the honest response be?

"Im not interested in making time to hang out." seems to harsh to me for someone that's a casual acquaintance. In many ways, it's easier to be honest with someone you have real history with.

"Delay and hope they get the hint" seems like an accepted cultural norm especially when everyone's got their own busy life to deal with.