The Official WrestlingThread Federation Thread!

[Drew]

OWF #7: Heads Down
May 12th, 2012
LIVE! From Zephyr Field in New Orelans

The opening in NO FORM OR FASHION rips off Community, as “At Least It Was Here” by the 88 plays, and the stars of the OWF get introduced via cootie catcher. Drew Rosen! Joe Woodbury! Michael Dark! Donald Glover! The Quantum Express! With Daniel K. And Stone Cold Steve Austin!

The crowd goes wild as the ring announcer stands in the ring. “Are you ready for OWF Action?” The crowd cheers! “I can’t Hear You!” The Crowd obliges. The Ring Announcer smiles.

“Demons” by Sleigh Bells plays. Daniel K. comes down to the ring. The crowd boos. He looks over his shoulder. His partner doesn’t come out.

He shrugs as he vaults over the top rope.

“Rock You Like a Hurricane” plays as E-Unit comes out. Adam flexes as Xorn speeds down to the ring.

“Champ” by Ghostface Killah comes on. Joe and Ryan Tardiff luxuriate in the boos. They strut down to the ring.

The lights go out.

Highlights of The Quantum Express from Season 1 play on the video wall. And then? Static…Winston’s voice can be heard through it.

“Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? If you’re hearing this, I’d like to apologize to the OWF Omniverse. Marty pressed the wrong button and we’re stuck trapped between dimensions. I would love to defend our hard won tag team champions, but apparently--”
“We’re here.”
“The heck you mean by that, Marty?”

The Lights pop up. The crowd cheers. Winston’s holding a boom microphone as he backs toward the ring. And…it seems as if Marty 5’s regenerated! A little taller, a little faster, a little stronger. We shall call him…Marty Six!

“The Haunting” from RJD2 comes on the air.

“Well, if we’re here. Let’s defend these, huh Marty?”
“Affirmative.”

They charge to the ring. It’s on. Like Donkey Kong.

[Drew]

OWF World Tag Team Championship Match
©Quantum Express vs. EU-nit vs. Daniel K and Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Joe Woodbury and Ryan Tardiff

The match starts with Daniel K. and Xorn. A lock up leads to an Irish whip from Xorn. Xorn throws a clothesline, but Daniel K. ducks. Daniel K. gets leapfrogged on the return trip. And they both throw dropkicks! They scramble to their feet. The crowd appears the series of countermoves.

Daniel K shakes his head. He tags in Joe. Xorn tags in the man mountain Adam Montan. Joe shakes his head. He tags in Ryan. The crowd boos as Ryan motions for Adam to bring it.

Adam charges. Ryan cowers in the corner. The referee blocks Adam from making a move on him. Daniel K. vaults in the ring. And Montan gets…lowblowed. Marty 6 steps over the top rope. The referee moves to block him. And Woodbury, Tardiff, and Daniel K. are giving all the stomps to Montan!

[Drew]

Tardiff covers. 1...2..Montan presses him off. Tardiff scrambles to his feet. He climbs the turnbuckle. Dropkick! He tags in Woodbury. Woodbury grabs Montan by the arm and ties it up in the ropes. He steps onto his back. He’s not…Xorn flies into the ring to save the day. It’s a title match preview. He’s swinging on him.

It’s breaking down as Daniel K.’s going to try and finish the job. And finally The Quantum Express are going to make the ring. Marty 6 gives Daniel a big German suplex, and Tardiff is trading blows with Winston Tannen. And then the glass breaks!

STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! An ATV drives from the Bullpen. Stone Cold’s wearing a sweater vest and drinking some PBR! But he gets in the ring. STUNNER FOR XORN! STUNNER FOR WINSTON TANNEN! STUNNER FOR TARDIFF? STUNNER FOR DANIEL K? STUNNER FOR WOODBURY! Middle fingers to the Giants! HE OUT!

Adam stares at Marty. He shrugs. HOSSES BE TRADING PUNCHES. It’s a hockey fight. Montan bounces off the ropes. Marty hits him with a lariat. Montan’s out of the ring. Marty 6 goes to shake Winston awake. But Daniel K. leaps onto his back! Lungblower!

He sets up Winston! It’s the DKO! DKO! Covers! One…Two…Three!

The crowd boos. Daniel K. has become the world tag team champions. But does he have a partner? That Stone Cold Steve Austin looked awfully familiar…

[Drew]

We cut to the back where we see Michael Dark arriving with the lovely Moira. Marcus Sparks comes up to meet him. “Michael Dark, tonight you face five of the OWF’s best for the Heavyweight Title.” Moira grabs the microphone. “You think the lad’s worried? He’s ready for the best the OWF’s got.”

She storms off.

Michael has a hint of a smirk on his face. “What she said.”

[Drew]

Winston and Marty 6 walk down the tunnel licking their wounds. “You don’t check on me if you can get the win! You had this.”
“But would they have let you keep it?”
Winston manages a smile as Drew Rosen stares back at them. “So look at this new son of a gun.”
Marty blinks.
“Some new model he is. He cost us the titles.” Winston taps Drew’s belt. “But at least I’ve got a second chance.”
“I’d like to see you try.” Drew pats Winston on the back as he walks away.

[Drew]

15 Man Come As You Are OWF Rumble.

“Money” from the Beatles plays as Mitch strides down to the ring.

And Drawing #2?
“Money” from the Beatles plays as Roman rolls out to the ring.

And for one minute? Nothing. Why. They’re friends. They know their going to have an advantage on the next opponent. Right?

“Rock You Like a Hurricane” plays. ADAM MONTAN is #3. He charges down to the ring. Roman and Mitch play Rock Scissors Paper to see who goes first. Roman wins. Mitch charges. He attempts a low dropkick. Adam blocks it.

Montan hefts Mitch into the air. He motions for Roman to come at him with his free arm. Roman shakes his head…and ELIMINATES HIMSELF. Montan shakes his head and throws Mitch over the top rope.

BRIOMEGA is #4. He stalks around the ring. Montan’s all like come on, and Briomega’s all like nah. And the crowd’s all like boo. But he gets in before #5 is the returning Technofear. He charges down to the ring. Brio and Technofear spend the duration of the next two minutes beating down the Mountain.

“Thunderstruck” starts up. It’s Steve Marshall! He charges down to the ring. He Falcon Punches Technofear. He Irish whips him into the ropes! Rageiki! #7 emerges on the ramp. It’s Kedd!

[Xorn]

still stunned from the stone cold run-in.
What the hell was that?
Xorn via Twitter

[Drew]

@Xorn The OWF Spared No Expense in it's return to action!

OWFBookerman
OWF Bookerman

[Drew]

Kedd rolls out to the ring and low blows Brio for his trouble. He charges over to the fallen Technofear. He picks him up and Irish Whips him into the ropes. Kedd nails him with a dropkick.

Steve Marshall nails Technofear with a belly to belly Suplex. #8 is coming down the pike! It’s Jason California. He struts to the ring. Steve Marshall and Adam Montan team up to clothesline Brio out of the ring. Brio’s out!

Some generic Dick Dale ripoff brings out Brock Copeland as #9! He brings out a surfboard. To a baseball field? CAH MON SON. Technofear causes Kedd to get tied up against the ropes with a spin kick. A roaring elbow knocks him out!

Some Fela Kuti noise brings out Randolph McNally! He marches to the ring wearing a jaunty beret. Jason California points at him and laughs. Randolph marches up the stairs and onto the apron. Jason goes for a slap! McNally ducks! Jason’s got his back to him! BEEEEEEG NECKBRACKER AND JASON CALIFORNIA’S GONE!

In the ring, Brock Copeland ducks under a clothesline, and on the return trip? He flies up for a cross body…Caught! Adam deadlifts Brock onto his shoulders! An attitude adjustment, and out! And who should emerge but…THE TODD. I’m P. Sure this fuc lawl.

That joke,

[Drew]

Still alive, we have Adam Montan, Steve Marshall, Technofear, The Todd, and Randolph McNally. And everyone’s facing down the big man. A lot of fists. And he gets beaten down in the corner. The Todd eye pokes Rand and they separate.

A Kraven expy named Chalise rolls out! He’s looking for a shot at the title, and he’s got a good number. The Todd’s eating Eurocuts from Randolph McNally. Chalise hits the ring and throws down with Montan! But Montan piefaces him. Technofear savate kicks Steve Marshall! And we have three wrestlers left to enter.

First among them? Bricklayer Villano. He charges to the ring. He vaults in over the top rope. He gives a charging knee to Chalise. He Irish whips him and…