Reply With QuoteWhat is the Wrestling Thread Federation?
The Bendis Board's premiere internet wrestling thread brings you the the Bendis Board's premiere internet Wrestling Promotion: OWF!
Featuring The Todd! And other less significant people!
Apply today!
I'm gonna try to find and edit in several of the recent things from this into this first post, in the near future.
Till then, go nuts with this...
(Someone didn't want this cluttering the Wrestling Thread proper, for any mods wondering why there is a new thread for this)
BACKSTORY (more to come):
From last weeks Raw Thread
Benel Germosen:
You and I are so going to have a cage match by the end of this year.
Drew:
Feud-building!
Benel:
But I'm not going to wrestle you tonight, Drew. Oh no. I'm going to let my tag team partner, Briomega soften you up. And then, this sunday night in the Death Cage of Death, I'm going to tear you apart.
Because I'm Benel The Unpronounceable and I'm...accessible!
Drew:
Brio doesn't know the pain I've gone through. He does not know what I've had to endure. Watching a Steve Corino match changes a man. It makes you, stronger, faster, better.
Brio is a good man, and I do apologize for what I am going to make him go through. But what what I will do to him will make children cry and the eldery reach for their heart medicine.
And lord knows you will not make it to Sunday when you have to face The Complete First Season of Beatdowns from...THE TODD!
Briomega:
Ahh but what you don't know is I have a very secret weapon waiting in the wings. Something you will never see coming. Something that will terrify you for the rest of your days.
Spoiler:
Mike Knox's Beard!
Todd:
Man, here's the thing. I'm tag partners with Daniel K. We're still the reigning World Tag Team Champions from the last thread.
...awkward.
Drew:
Racist!
*piledrives Todd through a handy table*
Todd:
*gets up while pushing away EMTs and referees attempting to help him. Stumbles to the back while raising his arm to a standing ovation. Turns face in the process.
Benel:
Your promos need work.
Todd:
When you're a Tag Champ, you can talk. Until then, you will respect me, you will stand in awe of me, and you will fear me.
Benel:
See? Your face now. You can't cut heel promos.
Briomega:
Pfthh, you were handed those titles by an outside body. You're nothing but paper champions.
You tell 'em, Brio. You see me and my partner are two things: The first are authentic competitors. The second are jewish habadashers. And together we're one part awesome and two parts amazing and the future Wrestling Thread Tag Team Champion.
Todd:
I invented heel promos, and that was the same night I invented Times New Roman and the remix. Do you understand? Wait, hold on, I have to readjust the title on my shoulder. I'll give you some time to do the sam...oh, you aren't a champ? You don't have a title? My fault.
Drew:
I must admit, Brio. I never thought you would stoop so low. Aligning yourself with the lone non-generic aspect of Mike Knox? You must be desperate to stop this train. It's coming down the tracks. It's gonna run through you.
The only thing that you can hope for is that I do not back up to make sure your carcass doesn't get up and walk away.
Todd:
I told the GM to make you my partner, but he told me about the age restrictions. Apparently, the criteria for champions is not being able to remember the Great Depression. Look, Brio, I stood up for you. I'm sorry. Hold on, I got distracted by my reflection in this title.
Briomega:
Big words from a little man. You can't stand up to the Beard. You can't stand up to me and you can't stand up to Benel. We will end your career.
If you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel what the Beard is shedding!
Drew:
You know what I am? I am that twinge at the back of your neck. I am the gnawing in your guts. I am the moment you hesitate. What I am?
I am your impending doom. Once you step into my hell? You are never walking out.
Drew:
*piledrives Todd through a nearby table*
Todd:
*tries to get up again without assistance, says fuck it, stays down. Clutches title. Cries a little while being lifted on to a stretcher.
Briomega:
*Stands in the catwalks staring down, smirking and nodding.*
Me:
The Raw thread seems to be turning into some weird e-fed each week.
Which makes me think this thread is in need of an actual e-fed. Because for whatever reason when I thought about it, it sounded like an amusing thing to put together.
Feel free to reject this idea. But it'd be a better outlet for random boredom induced fantasy booking than WWE tends to be.
Ultimate Factor:
You know, I was thinking the exact same thing. I used to be heavy into message board, role play E-Fedding about three years ago. Even Ran a couple. If anyone gets serious about it, I'd love to help out. Could even do our own bi-weekly show.
Me:
All right. That's 1!
Clearly people should apply to be given a roster spot and with it submit a name (not your username if it's not a name of some sort!) and perhaps a short character overview and a finisher, some signature moves and your wrestling style.
This sounds just ridiculous enough to work...
Ultimate Factor:
Yeah, something like this:
Spoiler:
Wrestler
Name:
Nickname:
Ht:
Wt:
Hometown:
Face/Heel:
Signature moves -
1:
2:
3:
Set Up Move [If Applies]:
Finisher -
1:
2: [If applies]
Entrance Theme:
Short Bio:
If it takes off, we could start thinking up structure. Have a few guys who aren't going to have actual wrestlers be "bookers"/Writers. I'll be the first to volunteer with match writing. We can set it up so that scheduled wrestlers can have the off week to post 2-3 "promos" for their match which could be anything from the camera following their guy around while he trains and talks smack to interviews, anything like that. We can either have judges do a point system, or we can just do polls like in other similar games.
Bervda:
I used to run some really big e-mail based efeds back on AOL. Some of the most fun I've ever had, I can't lie.
Me:
I was in an e-fed that included the likes of Albert and the previously mentioned Justin Shapiro, among others, than went on for several years and was quite entertaining.
I am saddened upon web searching that there seems to be no trace of it left on the interwebs.
I am also somewhat embarrassed that the one time I met Albert at the last NYCC it was basically the only topic I wished to discuss at the time.
UF:
Yeah, I missed them. But I got a new job and playing in the kind of structure they had was too much. We got graded on how well our Promo's where compared to a certain set of rules [how entertaining it was, how much it made sense compared to your match etc.] and I used to go all out and could never bring myself to slack, but not slacking took time I didn't have anymore lol. But I think we could do something simple and really fun.
Me:
Yes. I was thinking that really the minimum amount of effort would get you a perfectly OK reward.
I was thinking that perhaps, instead of a promo system, people could submit short 'promos' that could be spliced into some sort of 'Newswire' type post, ala the ROH promo videos?
And someone ought to randomly do some sort of 'insider news' thing on it, wherein we learn that *insert name here* is injured/has heat with management/is in line for a big push etc.
These are only ideas, though.
Drew:
Christ, I once got an e-fed guy over based on the fact that he was getting no reaction. I want in.
*piledrives Todd through a handy table*
Human Target:
I've never done an e-fed but I would be sure up for trying it at least.
Todd:
Look, I may have to retire before we start this because I've been piledriven through tables so many times, I'll be paralyzed by 24! There's a reason that move's banned, Drew!
Me (or the WTF GM):
I have an e-mail from our General Manager!
AND I QUOTE:
"The Todd is a valuable asset to this thread and it's forthcoming wrestling federation. Any further violence against The Todd, especially in the manner of, say, piledriving him through a table will be met with the requisite punishment"
Todd:
Though I am appreciative of this mandate, I am, in fact, one half of the World Tag Team Champions. Not only should I be protected from such acts of barbarism, but my "peers" (see: the 'superstars' who aren't worthy of shining up this belt, let alone wearing it) should be made to refer to me as "one half of the World Tag Team Champions, The Todd" whenever they wish to address me. These plebeians should refer to Daniel by his Title as well. We are the longest (only) reigning Tag Champs in the Wrestling Thread, afterall.
Briomega:
Are those belts even real? Your name is written in magic marker and his is written in... what is that? Lipstick?
Todd:
Look gramps, Daniel likes a little flair. Yeah, I know, in aught twelventy, the damn kids and their dodads, but we're rocking gold, decked out in lipstick. What? the neighbor kids doing it now too? Right, 'cause we're so damn great, even your mom knows what we do, wear, and say on Twitter. Yeah, that's right. Mom's learn how to use Twitter just to read what we thought about "The Social Network." It's a movie, Brio; one of those scary "moving pictures."
Now you and Benel are worthy opponents, sure. You've been on a hotstreak, you've rattled some cages...literally, 'cause you have to have dayjobs at petstores to make ends meet. But Drizzle and I make money just breathing. We make that gold even shiner just by having our gorgeous gazes reflected at us from the belts. We're wrestling royalty. So as good as you guys are, we're better. And by "better," I mean, "King Kong and King Kong's great grandpa against two adjacent planets."
Here's the tl;dr version: Come this Sunday, Benel's gonna rev up the Amigo, drive his geriatric ol' boy to the ring, he's gonna do some flippy dos to compensate for his partner's "Weekend at Bernie's" situation in the making, and then he's gonna get put down. And afterward, we'll smear some glossy, water-resistant lipstick on both of 'em to make them look pretty for the first time in their lives. That's how Drizzle and The Toast do it. What?!
Benel:
It doesn't matter what it's written it, because pretty soon, this Sunday Night at Wrestlethreadpalooza, in the steel cage, iron chain on a pole match, it's going to be written in blood.
You see me and Briomega have been working hard these last few years (and by years I mean random post) to climb the (nonexistant) tag title rants to finally, Finally! get a shot at the Wrestling Thread Tag Team Belts and now that the time is here...we will not fail. Me and Briomega, we're like Tiger Woods...and not just because we like the skanks...because when the pressure is on we excel. When the string is pulled as tight as it can go, we do not miss.
Todd:
Blah, blah, something about Tiger Woods, blah. Someone wake me when a champ's talking. Hey, I'm a champ, so people care when lay down a paragraph or twelve.
You guys have had a storybook rise. You started out as rookies, took the tag division by storm, worked your way up and now you're facing the gorgeously grizzled veteran champs. It's a heartwarming tale; one of dedication, devotion and determination. But Daniel and I were never fond of the cliches, and the happy ending is boring. You worked hard, you beat a lot of people, and ultimately, it'll mean nothing after Sunday night.
We applaud the effort, or we would if we weren't too focused on how amazing we are. Spoiler Alert: You'll walk out, all fire and fury, soaking in the cheers you've fought so hard to earn over the previous year. You'll stand in the ring confident, you'll pose, and you'll get into a fighting stance. And once our music hits, the euphoric high will quickly diminish because, just like the American Dream, you find that getting what you struggled so hard for - finally getting that title shot - will suddenly transform from dream to nightmare. So be confident. Be merry. Formulate a gameplan, a strategy, something you've saved for that one big chance to finally achieve the win of a lifetime. Do it all, because it's only going to make the look of hopelessness and dismay on your faces as you come to the realization that the journey to the top's been made in vain all the more satisfying. It will also mark the last time either of your faces have left someone satisfied. See you Sunday, boys.
Daniel K:
Excuse me friend. Say what you will about Todd and I, although with the intellect you've displayed I'm not positive you're even capable of stringing together five consecutive sentences, but you will not besmirch the ten pounds of gold I have sitting on my shoulder. These belts are the product of our blood, sweat and countless hours of practice becoming the very best at what we do. These belts are the ONLY measure of a man in this thread and you will show the proper respect.
Drew:
Don't you...forget about me. Don't. Don't Don't. Don't.
Because when the pressure is on, and your focus is off. The right thinking people of America will come a roarin' and you'll see your championships go back to the man who will end up lying through a handy ringside table and his brochacho.
I'm not leaving. Not until you see it my way.
Briomega:
Gold? Do they sell gold belts at the Dollar Store?
I think yours still has the price tag on it? What? Not even confident enough to pull the tag off? You wanted to make sure you could take it back to the store?
FakeF4W/WO (Me):
"It appears that the upcoming WrestleThreadPalooza Pay Per View scheduled for Sunday will be the last show for the promotion in it's current state. They've been bought out by an unknown buyer and the company is being re-tooled and perhaps re-named with a new television show to premiere in the next several weeks.
Several of the top stars in the promotion's contracts were not included in the sale but the new owner of the company has been working hard to try and sign up as many of the top talents as possible and recruit some new blood into the ranks.
The WrestleThreadPalooza show will go as planned, with it's main event of The Todd & Daniel K. defending the tag titles vs. Benel Germosen & Bri-Omega but it's being billed on the company's site as the 'season finale' for the company. It's expected that with the name change, new television and other 're-tooling' that the company's titles will be vacated, if for no reason other than they haven't signed their current world champion to a definitive contract.
For the moment they have cancelled several upcoming shows, vowing to either refund the tickets of the fans or announce new dates in the area with the new group in the near future.
It's thought that the re-tooling is needed because they have few over stars at the moment, past the still hot tag title feud and the booking has been a bit overly strained - with them resorting to such things as the main event being an 'Iron Chain on a Pole' match and the somewhat random flow of storylines of late, many of which seem to have needlessly lead to attacks on The Todd that went largely nowhere and distracted from his tag titles feud. It's thought that it's needed to take the company in a new direction."
Drew:
Largely nowhere? Largely nowhere? My dirt sheet friend does not know what drives me. The son of German has this insistence that the single worst wrestler in modern history is not so, and I am to be considered a lunatic for this stance. And he sicced his tag team partner on me.
Fair enough on that. Fair enough.
But as I am a singular man who has stumbled upon the tag team universe, I figured upon the opposition willing to help me out on matters such as these. But as they were unwilling to give me the satisfaction of alliance. And as I am unable to be cashing checks from tag team champion bookings?
I figured I'd take the next best thing.
Needlessly going nowhere. Sheesh. Kids these days with their video games.
Me:
So - I hear there's a PPV tonight from some poorly named promotion that is on it's last legs and will probably not be very good (though the main event might be all right)
Yes- today is 10/10/10
WTF WrestleThreadPalooza 2010!
The card as we know it:
WTF Heavyweight Title: Nick Spencer (c) vs. Ray Dawg in a 30 Minute Iron Man Last Man Standing Match
WTF World Tag Team Titles Match: The Todd and Daniel vs. Benel & BriOmega in a Steel Cage Iron Chain on a Pole Match
Brian Bendis, Alex Maleev, Michael Avon Oeming, David Mack and Jeph Loeb vs. Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, Johnathan Hickman, Jason Aaron and Kieron Gillen in a Losers Leave Town 10 Man Tag Team Match
Winston Wolf vs. Patch in a Mask vs. Mask match
30 Man Reverse Battle Royal to determine who will be in a 10 Man Through the Middle Rope Battle Royal (prize yet to be determined)
Live report should be expected later tonight...
Briomega:
For 20 years I've walked the aisle. Titles? I've held them all. I've been the underdog. I've been the favorite. I've done it all and there's nothing you can do or say that will threaten my resolve. And that resolve is to once again hold Gold in my hands.
I will stretch you out. I will make you scream. I will have you begging for mercy.
And then the bell will ring and the match will start.
When it's all over and the ref has counted to three, you can post an udpate to your Facebook: "Status: Formerly World Tag Team Champion."
Brio Likes This.
Todd:
Well, I appreciate the long post in which you proposition me Sunday, and if I'm feeling charitable, after the match, maybe all that streching and screaming will happen, but in the ring, D-tron and Double 'D are gonna put you down. And unlike you, we don't kiss and tell on our statuses.
Now run and like that!
Todd:
There's a lot of speculation on who will walk out of the main event with the Tag Titles, and I feel compelled to put the rumors to rest.
Iron poles, flaming tables, monkeys, skittles, Katie Vick; there's not a damn weapon or stipulation that scares me. I don't even remember the stips for tonight. Whether it's a hot iron or a picture of Benel naked, nothing scares me, not hurts me. It's not that I'm impervious to pain, I'm impervious to giving a shit. See, I'm a brilliant tactician, I'm a master strategist, but I'm too damn stupid to run into a fight and worry about the outcome. That doesn't mean I'm heroic. It's not about you, or your mom, or your brother or that sweet piece of ass you dragged to this show tonight. I couldn't care less about any of you. I'm too stupid to acknowledge any odds because I'm several armies in one gorgeous package. See, I reconfigure the odds on my own. And with D-tron rolling with me, we're an empire in two incontestably awesome men. Speaking of stupidity, Brio and Benel must be at some advanced stage of metal collapse, knowing they're going to peer across the ring while we throw mad hot-yet-icy cold thunder at them. Don't ask about the conundrum that is mad hot icy thunder. I invented the remix and Times New Roman the font, I think I can invent a dual-temperature form of thunder.
So, really, all this chatter; the endless sea of commotion about the preposterous stips, the fact that Brio alone has more experience the entire locker room combines, my recent "mishaps" with tables, it's all trivial, it's all inconsequential. Much like this chatter-wave, it's just noise. Daniel and I, for nearly a year, have done what none of our so-called "peers" or any of you cravenly, slovenly fools out at ringside could ever do. We redefine the very nature of "odds" and "probabilities." The law of averages dictates that we'll eventually lose. Ultimately, it's a matter of probability, right? I imagine most of you are dense, 'cause I'm spitting game here on a higher plane of existence, so I'll break this down really nice and easy for you. Allow me to repeat myself: probability, numbers, stats, averages mean nothing to us. We transcend numbers. Our power cannot be quantified. What we do in that ring cannot be measured. Brio, Benel, you've been on fire. We make cold fire and hot ice. You guys have gone virtually undefeated while rising up the ranks to #1 contenders. We've gone beyond "virtually." We've never been defeated. Brio, you've done this 20 years and have finally found your "second wind" on the path to championship. Your career has been reborn. Daniel and I never had a "career decline" before getting gold. We just grabbed it immediately. We. Transcend. Odds. We transcend fans cheers. We transcend stipulations. Tonight, we transcend the two of you. You will be beaten. Like the wills of these spineless freaks who have to pay to see gods like Daniel and I do things in this ring they've only read about in Norse Mythology, who go to their shitty jobs and endure constant berating from their superiors; these mere plebeians, these simple troglodytes, who are so desperate to see you two win, you'll be beaten. And just like you two feed off their cheers, we'll bask in their sorrow. Then, we'll dust off our shoulders, 'cause we transcend them too.
So, chains, cages, Benel's breath, whatever. It doesn't matter what the stip is or what the weapon is. We win. It doesn't matter who has what experience. We win. It doesn't matter who the fans cheer for, who takes what banned substance, who trains harder, who has the most stamina, who's in the best shape, who's the most mentally able to endure a beating. We win. We transcend all.
Me (as Fake Dave Meltzer):
Welcome to coverage of the Wrestling Thread Federation WrestleThreadPalooza 2010 Pay Per View, live from Jacksonville, FL at the Jacksonville Coliseum. We’re looking for your feedback so send us your thoughts - thumbs up, thumbs down or thumbs in the middle along with your thoughts on the best and worst match.
30 Man Reverse Battle Royal/10 Man ‘through the middle rope’ Battle Royal
Competitors are: Ryan Hoffman, Adam Witt, Adrian B. Awesome, Akira, Albert, Dr. Catclops, Joe Kalicki, Sgt. Pepper, Mayor Mitch, Jason California, The Roman, Howlett, Grandmaster Funk, Fake Pat, Pat Loika, Magnum VI, Lyfeforce, Kedd, Gelf XIII, Ryan Turner, Drew, Foolish Mortal, Steve Marshall, Kurt Russell Crowe, Ultimate Factor, Human Target, Moon-Spider, Brad N., Roger and Joe A.R.
It’s a clusterfuck, with 30 guys all over the aisles, brawling. The cameras are scrambling to catch the action but it’s pretty hard to focus on any one thing. It made for a very weak opening. It appears several guys bladed, but with all the action it was hard to make out who.
Eventually Albert, Kurt, Ultimate Factor, Moon-Spider, Roger, Brad, Joe, Drew, Ryan Turner and Steve Marshall were the final 10. A mystery man’s voice then said that the rumors were true: this was the last WTF event EVER and that some people were going to be left behind. He said that all 10 men had earned a roster spot in the new Official WrestlingThread Federation, should they choose it and made a crack about Moon Spider and Ultimate Factor maybe working on their names. He then said that the winner of this match would have a guaranteed spot in the OWF World Title tournament. He also made it an over the top Battle Royal, with the final fall needing to be by pinfall or submission.
Standard Battle Royal, coming down to Drew and Albert. Once it got down to them (after this segment already was about 20 minutes long) the match was pretty good. Back and forth with Drew scoring the upset win with a cradle reversal. The crowd was woken up by the upset but largely was not impressed with this segment. But it was newsworthy - we know the new name and it’s significantly more classy than the one they started with. It’ll be interesting to see if we get anymore news from the rest of the show.
Winston Wolf vs. Patch in a Mask vs. Mask match
It’s odd to see a match with such high stakes on a show so few people are going to watch…
Mediocre match. Patch went over with a Dragon Sleeper. After the match Winston was unmasked… and had a new mask underneath. Well - so much for that. Hope no one paid to see that one… though I suspect no one really did. A colossal waste of time.
Brian Bendis, Alex Maleev, Michael Avon Oeming, David Mack and Jeph Loeb vs. Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, Johnathan Hickman, Jason Aaron and Kieron Gillen in a Losers Leave Town 10 Man Tag Team Match
Good match except for the finish. The entrances took forever - Mack had probably 10 valets. Once that was out of the way they had a formula 10 man, though all things considered it seemed like a welcome change of pace. In the end all of them were counted out of the ring. The mystery voice re-appeared and said that was the last you would see of all of them and announced that OWF had a televison deal starting in 3 weeks debuting on Discovery Channel. Well… that’s different but at least it’s TV.
Backstage Todd and Daniel talk about their upcoming match. Daniel seems a bit apprehensive but Todd reassures him with the usual motor mouth routine and catchphrases. He has a present for Daniel: he’s retrofitted the name plate on his title to read ‘The Daniel’ (he calls it a remix, naturally). Daniel feigns enthusiasm.
WTF Heavyweight Title: Nick Spencer (c) vs. Ray Dawg in a 30 Minute Iron Man Last Man Standing Match
(update: or not)
WTF Heavyweight Title(?): Nick Spencer (c) vs. Drew
It appears they’ve decided the tag title match is the main event. It’s probably a good call, though this one, because of the stips, has to go long.
A drastically frustrating match - Spencer starts off on the mic talking about how he won’t be back and making allusions to a girlfriend overseas and persuing a writing career. So far as I know that’s a shoot but I don’t see the point of saying it on your show. The gimmick seems to be that he’s going to take the title with him.
The mystery voice announces that Ray has no showed the event and announces his replacement for tonight: Drew! Spencer disputes this and says he hasn’t signed a contract to face Drew but it falls on deaf ears. The crowd doesn’t know what to make of this.
It turned into a good match with another awful finish. Apparently the Iron Man stip was thrown out with the match change, but no one ever made that entirely clear. Nick walked out for a countout at the 10 minute mark, leaving with the title. Confounding booking here. I think the point was to make Drew a star but I don’t know that it worked.
WTF World Tag Team Titles Match: The Todd and Daniel (c) vs. Benel & BriOmega in a Steel Cage Iron Chain on a Pole Match
This match really is going to have to save the show. The mystery voice appears again and I’m already getting sick of it, hopefully it’s just a stand in for the new owners or it’s going to become tremendously annoying in the weeks ahead. He says that the winners of this match will become the first ever OWF Tag Team Champions. The ref for the match comes out with the new titles.
Great match but maybe not enough to save this awful show. Finish was a bit overcomplicated: it saw all 4 on the top rope, all going for the Iron Chain. Benel pushed Todd off the top and Daniel tried to DDT both of them off, he got tossed off by Benel but hit Bri with a top rope tornado DDT in a big spot. Benel then got the chain and Todd, back standing in the ring pulled a Cole Miner’s Glove (of all things) out of his tights and when Benel came off the top with a driving right hand with the chain on his fist and Todd threw a punch of his own for a double KO spot. Everyone was out - Bri tried a cover on Todd and he kicked out. Bri then hit an Omega Driver on Todd but Daniel broke it up. Benel hit him with the chain and they hit a stuff Omega Driver on Daniel on the chain for the win. The last 2 minutes were exhausting. Benel and Omega celebrate with the belts and the Mystery Voice (again?) announces a rematch for the first edition of OWF TV in three weeks on Discovery Channel.
We’ll have more on the TV deal in the weeks ahead.
Steve Marshall:
I won't forgive Drew for turning on me during the Battle Royal. We pinky swore Final 2 before the match. Pinky swore!!1!!1!111!!!
That's okay though. Next show... You. Me. Posters Bring The Weapons match.
The Stevolution will be televised.
Drew:
Gil Scott-Heron over here wants to pick a fight with me? Son, I'm crazy enough to piledrive the inventor of Times New Roman through a table three times. And the ex-Tag Champ? This close to finishing the job on him too.
You know what I am? I'm the one and only. I don't need an avatar. I don't need a fancy name. I don't need to talk about false glories.
You want to fight me? I'll put you in my beatdown queue. But after the tag champs, Steve Corino, and Mike Knox's beard, you are going to have to wait your turn.
And when you least expect it? I'm gonna do the one thing Mike Huckabee could never do.
Prove the myth of Stevolution.
Todd:
Shitty finish. I was robbed.
Me:
This just in from brand new (non-existent) OWF.com:
There has been a complaint filed by former tag team champion The Todd regarding his main event loss to new OWF Tag Champions Bri-Omega and Benel Germosen. Apparently The Todd was under the impression it was escape rules and as he and his partner were taken out by officials, they technically escaped the cage first.
OWF officials have heard this complaint and after vigorous discussions with The Todd's lawyers the decision stands. However as a show of respect OWF officials, not to mention the champions themselves, have offered for the challengers to pick the match type for their rematch.
We will have updates on the situation as we get them.
Briomega:
Leave it to Todd to bring lawyers to a wrestling match.
Todd:
Allow me to give a hardy, thunderous, booming *ahem* golf clap to the new Tag Champs. Good competitors, heartwarming story - a geriatric and his halfwit handler upset the baddest mother fuckers that ever did live. So, for now, I'll allow you two mouth breathers to keep D-tron and my tag titles warm. Or I would, had you two not pulled some strings, worked 'the man,' the nebulous, unseen, "powers that be" and use them to throw an absurdly convoluted stipulation match at us a mere two days before our match. It's an inside job, a conspiracy. WTF knows how we've been exalted above this company, beyond the sport itself. We transcend. And so some suits - yeah, some goddamn suits - conspired with a very old man and his gal pal to take the titles off the hottest and the coldest, the sweetest and the most bitter act to ever dominate this company. They wanted to "keep us in check."
What I'm saying is, we were screwed. I will go to the head of WTF, I'll go to the shareholders personally. I'll pass around this petition to the you, the audience. Now I know most of you are illiterate, but I just need your initials (that's the first initial of your first name and the first initial of your last name). That's it. Show the WTF office you won't stand for their conniving, their scheming, their duplicitous doings. I'll take this to Congress. I'll take it to Obama. We're at a pivotal time in this country, and a massive miscarriage of justice could cause a schism across the nation. I care about this nation and those belts to such a degree that I will preserve their sanctity. I demand that Daniel and I be rewarded with our belts by the end of the week, along with a personal apology from the CEO of WTF, or else this becomes a national concern.
My demand will be met, because I'm The Todd, damnit!
Todd:
I swear to whatever boogeyman deity you worship Benel that if you so much as scratch my title, I'll destroy you to such a degree that you'll become an atheist, as no God would allow someone to be beaten so savagely.
One week. One week to restore the title's to their proper owners, WTF CEO; proper owners who do not use them as props to get free dinners at chain restaurants. Enjoy your Red Lobster, peasants.
Drew:
Dear The Todd,
Hi. It's Drew. Remember? The guy who's tried to break your neck on three...yeah you probably do remember that. Well, I was noticing your hyperbolic rant in the general direction of any dust particle that may be listening. And the thing about that?
You're right. Absolutely right. You got hit with the job because they're afraid. They're afraid that you're gonna walk away with D-Tron and dump the tag belts into the den of obscurity like some sort of Western States Heritage Title. They don't want you to dominate.
Just like me.
They give me a title match, and I have to watch someone go out like a punk just because they can't handle my style as champion. I know that you and I aren't exactly simpatico. But I stand with you. For your fight is my fight.
Litigate some suckas.
Your pal,
Drew
P.S. See that table behind you?
Just kidding!
OWF.com:
OWF Officials understand that The Todd has rejected our offer to pick the match type of his and his partner's tag team title rematch but are still rejecting any idea that there was any favor given the any of the competitors in the match.
OWF officials would also like to point out for the record that the WTF that The Todd refers to has ceased to exist after it's final show WrestleThreadPalooza last night, thus the WTF CEO will not be able to comment on The Todd's plight.
The OWF CEO has vowed to comment on the situation in the days ahead though OWF officials hope to have the situation resolved without his involvement.
Last edited by iGotKittyPryde; 10-11-2010 at 09:29 AM.
What is the Wrestling Thread Federation?
Originally Posted by Ben
And Todd's lawyers win again.What's he gonna do when the Trust Fund runs out and there are no more lawyers?
Wow. And now a whole new thread splintering from the original. Just when I suss out the WTOMFALKDFHALHFLEVILBASTARDSKLSJFLASJ's conspiracies, they try to create new threads?!
Not only do I demand an apology and our titles returned, I want it to be simultaneously broadcasted on both threads. I have also changed the timeframe. Six days, as of now. I'm The Todd, DAMNIT!
Trust Fund? No. See, I'll buy an island of lawyers from the money I make just being me. The money I made being the greatest man to hold the belt you're currently sullying, you charlatan. Six days. Enjoy my title while you can.And Todd's lawyers win again.
Oh, you guys are doing wrestling dinner theater.
*sets up a table behind The Todd*
I'm award winning!
::Takes a seat in the front row::
See this name plate? That's real gold and it's bolted on. There's no tape. No lipstick. No Sharpie writing.
This is real.
Oh and you might want to get that green rash checked out on your waist. I don't think those old "belts" were healthy.
*preemptively breaks table with an iron pan*
Drew, I think we should join forces on a crusade against this partisan company.
*low blows Drew as he walks up to shake my hand*
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks