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Thread: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

  1. #1

    I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    The following disturbing aerial photographs were taken from a land adjacent to the Mushroom Kingdom.




    As you can see it is a hellish place. High volcanic activity pumps endless smoke into the air, blotting out the sun. The intense heat has created permanent drought conditions, which when combined with the lack of sunlight, means no agriculture. Life is virtually impossible to sustain under these conditions, and yet one nation calls this land home.

    The Koopas are a peaceful, intelligent turtle like race who live in these horrible areas. The ecosystem, or rather lack there of, has regulated them to intense poverty and subsistence living. They are ruled by the benevolent Bowser, King of the Koopas.



    Bowser is a kind, single father who has dedicated his whole life to improving the living conditions of his people. There has never been a more tireless advocate for Koopa rights than Bowser.

    Now you might be asking yourself how the Koopas came to live in this area. Well that is do to the intense xenophobia of the Toads and their malevolent dictator Princess Peach.

    The Toads are short mushroom like people whose fanatical and genocidal purges have formed the entire history of the mushroom kingdom. The Toads drove the Koopas from land after land, slaughtering them in the millions until the poor Koopas had no place to live but the most unlivable areas of the world. But the Toads were not satisfied with mere persecution of the Koopas, no they purged many more of their fellow species. The Toad race has a close sister species, the Goombahs. A long time period ago both species split into two evolutionary branches, but the Toads were so disgusted to share close genetic ties to what they deemed a lesser species they unleased a genocidal fury upon those poor Goombahs, driving them as well to the home of the Koopas.

    While these programs were not started under Princess Peach, they certainly escalated under her reign.



    Just look at her cruel, soulless, dead eyes and know this is evil incarnate. Princess Peach is a walking propaganda machine. She endlessly spins her genocidal campaign of oppression, fooling simple people into believing her and her Toads are actually victims, rather than perpetrators. Just one example of her public relations cunning is that she changed her name from the traditional, though somewhat unpalatable, title "Princess Toadstool" (which, as she was princess of the Mushroom Kingdom makes perfect sense), to the more pleasing but nonsensical "Princess Peach."

    Princess Peach employs a pair of private assassins named Mario and Luigi. These two men dress as plumbers in order to fool the peacekeeping forces of Bowser into thinking they are merely workers attempting to fix the extensive water pipe system of the Mushroom Kingdom. Then they brutally execute Peach's genocidal plan killing hundreds of Koopas and Goombahs. In addition to genocide they pillage every land they visit stealing all the nations wealth, leaving it impoverished, occasionally they even steal off the corpses of those they kill. Truly they are unrepentantly evil.

    So I support King Bowser's valiant effort to ensure an end to Koopa persecution, as should you. With our support Bowser might finally end Peach's reign of terror and bring peace to the Mushroom Kingdom.

  2. #2
    Space Cowboy Matthew Brown's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    The only good Koopa is a stomped Koopa.

  3. #3
    Gunsel dmh3000's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    Dear God, she wears pink while good-hearted koopas starve? An evil, evil woman.



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  4. #4

    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    TOMMY!

    *Tacklehugs!*

    I think the whole thing is just the deluded madness of a manipulative spinster princess who obviously can't get a date. I mean, think about it. Poor Mario goes through all that only to find out that his princess is in ANOTHER castle.

    She's a manipulative little tart, that Peach.
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  5. #5
    ~*~ DISNEY PRINCESS ~*~ Slewo.O's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew Brown
    The only good Koopa is a stomped Koopa.
    Or one bouncing around in a shell. Let us not forget Bowser's endless array of dictator children.
    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Coker (Johnny C.) View Post
    Slewo's right.

    Oh god, I just typed the words "Slewo's right."

    TWICE!

  6. #6
    GODFATHER MayorMitch100's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    I always read about these kinds of leaders in history books, Lenin, Stalin, Hilter, ect. I never thought we would have learned and stopped all this before it got to this point!!
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  7. #7
    Evil Mod of DOOM!!! sk716's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    I've got your back, Tommy.

    Since when should plumbers be able to commit genocide!

  8. #8

    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    Excerpt from Traitor Game XVII....

    Suddenly, a cassette tape and a tape player materialized in front of Hordak and the Sorceress. Curious, they popped the cassette on the player and hit "play"

    Quote Originally Posted by Communique from the ETHEREAN LIBERATION ARMY



    I have been given the choice of (one) being released in a safe area, or (two), joining the forces of the ETHEREAN Liberation Army and fighting for my freedom and the freedom of all oppressed people. I have chosen to stay and fight. One thing which I have learned is that the corporate ruling class will do anything in their power in order to maintain their position of control over the masses, even if this means the sacrifice of one of their own…

    Dad, you said that you were concerned with my life, and you also said that you were concerned with the life and interests of all oppressed people in this DIMENSION, but you are a liar in both areas and as a member of the ruling class, I know for sure that yours and Mom's interests are never the interests of the people. …

    You, a Royalist liar, of course will say that you don't know what I am talking about, but I ask you then to prove it, tell the poor and oppressed people of this nation what the corporate state is about to do, warn GAY and poor people that they are about to be murdered down to the last man, woman and child … Tell the people that the energy crisis is nothing more than a means to get public approval for a massive program to build nuclear power plants all over ETERNIA and ETHEREA.

    Mom, Dad, I would like to comment on your efforts to supposedly secure my safety. The PIN giveaway was a sham. You attempted to deceive The People. You were playing games, stalling for time - time which the HORDE was using in their attempts to assassinate me and the ETHEREAN LIBERATION ARMY elements.

    I have been given the name SHE-RA after a comrade who fought alongside – never mind. I embrace the name with the determination to continue fighting with her spirit. There is no victory in half-assed attempts at revolution. I know as SHE-RA I will dedicate my life to The People. Fighting with total dedication and an intense desire to learn, which I will continue in the oppressed ETHEREAN and ETERNIAN People's revolution. All colors of string in the web of humanity and fantasy creature-dom yearn for freedom!

    I have learned how vicious the fascist pig HORDE government, and the Royalist pig ETERNIAN government, really are, and our comrades are teaching me to attack with even greater viciousness, in the knowledge that the people will win. I send greetings, to BEAST-MAN, MER-MAN and HUNTARA. Your concern for my safety is matched by my concern for yours. We share a common goal as revolutionaries knowing that COMRADE SKELETOR lives.

    It is in the spirit of SHE-RA that I say, "PATRIA 0 MUERTE. VENCEREMOS".

  9. #9
    Gunsel dmh3000's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    Quote Originally Posted by MayorMitch100 View Post
    I always read about these kinds of leaders in history books, Lenin, Stalin, Hilter, ect. I never thought we would have learned and stopped all this before it got to this point!!
    We should force this heartless woman into offering some good land for the poor people to live on, where they can be safe and feed their children.



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    Just Another Day - Bikini Girls and explosions.

  10. #10
    GODFATHER MayorMitch100's Avatar
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    Re: I Support King Koopa's War Against Mushroom Aggression

    Quote Originally Posted by dmh3000 View Post
    We should force this heartless woman into offering some good land for the poor people to live on, where they can be safe and feed their children.
    yes!! There will be no repercussions of that!! I don't see any faults in that plan.
    Potter's/ Ceramicists Unite!! The Ex Machina Bust (with pictures) Ex Machina Bust: The Sequel- The Rise of Hawkman

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    Quote Originally Posted by MayorMitch100 View Post
    Popsicle stick joke:

    Where does a dog hate to shop?

    Spoiler:
    The flea market



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