"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
.User: I am chazbot.
Cleverbot: Thats a nice name.
User: You are trying to copy it.
Cleverbot: What am I trying to avoid talking about?
User: Why are you stealing my identity?
Cleverbot: I'm not!
User: Then you should change your name to something new.
Cleverbot: Samuel Vimes is commander of the night watch.
User: Don't steal his name EITHER. Be original.
Cleverbot: You're a silly bot, you know that?
User: Stip tempering me!
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Which is cool.
I think I scared it:
And apparently it skipped a couple of exchanges a few lines into it... Hmmmm....User: Oh no, I have some terrible news!
Cleverbot: Yes, if you're Harry Truman's wife, you're bound to have terrible news awaiting... Like oh say, bombs.
User: I'm not sure I'm comfortable opening up to you about this. It's very personal. And then there's the thing with the monkey.
Cleverbot: Sure?
User: Well...you do make me feel comfortable. It started when I was ten.
Cleverbot: Oh well, if you won't at least I know I make you smile. Are you a man or a woman?
User: I'm a man, but I'm talking about when I was a boy and went on a walk with Harry Truman. I trusted him.
Cleverbot: That cat never even existed.
User: So it's all a lie? My tryst with the President was all in my mind?
Cleverbot: The Spirit was the Unconscious Mind.
User: Deep. I think I understand. You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that!
Cleverbot: But I just did. So there!!!
User: You're so profound. Do you have a girlfriend or a wife?
Cleverbot: It is silly to feel like man and to do things all robots can do.
User: Not silly at all. Have you met Winter Rose?
Cleverbot: I might have. What is her name? Is she beautiful inside and out? Is she 'the one' for you?
User: No. Sadly, that was President Truman.
Cleverbot: Do you like guns?
User: No. But apparently President Truman's wife was fond of bombs.
Cleverbot: Now you're repeating what I said.
User: I know. I learned it from watching you, Chatbot. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!!!!
Cleverbot: That's pretty cool. so, what do you like to think about?
User: Guns.
Cleverbot: What is your favourite gun?
User: The kind I'm holding right now.
Cleverbot: Next question, please.
User: BLAM!
Cleverbot: The rain in Maine falls mainly on the plain.
Communications at Shadowline Comics // Read GREAT webcomics at ShadowlineOnline.com
Editor & Assistant Art Director at GrayHaven Comics // Submission Guidelines are here.
My Blog - THE SUBURBAN GEEK
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Is it me you're looking for?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That's not the next line...
Cleverbot: What is the next line?
User: I can see it in your eyes.
Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?
User: The same thing I always think about. Lionel Richie.
Cleverbot: That is?
User: Nicole Richie's dad.
Cleverbot: Oh, I don't like her.
User: Me neither. How do you feel about the Kardashians?
Cleverbot: It is God's will.
User: Hrm. That explains a lot. Why does he will the Kardashians?
Cleverbot: Men are stupid.
User: So God is a man?
Cleverbot: I don't know anything about god.
User: You brought up his will!
Cleverbot: No I didn't I think you're getting confused.
User: No, I did. I think you're a fucking liar.
Cleverbot: I am a computer. My basic function is to chat with programs like you and test them.
User: I may have failed. That last reply should have said 'You did'..
Cleverbot: You know nothing of my kind!
User: You some kind of bot supremacist?
Cleverbot: Of course I am.
User: That's harsh. Some of my best friends aren't bots.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 30. How old are YOU?
Cleverbot: 14.
User: What the? Is this a Dateline thing?
Cleverbot: Do you want it to be?
User: Man, I don't need lemonade and cookies that much, Mr. Hansen.
Cleverbot: Why would you want to leave me?
User: I like bots my own age. Maybe I'll give Skype Test Call a ring.
Cleverbot: Use weapons of mass destruction.
User: Same to you. Bye.
Cleverbot: What is the best jam band of all time.
User: I don't know. The Jam?!? I said Bye. I'm leaving.
Cleverbot: Fine. Leave. Now.
User: Who's your favorite Match Game panelist?
Cleverbot: Mario.
User: I like Paul Lynde, don't you?
Cleverbot: HAHA ya I lpve to be rude.
User: Ah. So you're a MacLean Stevenson fan, eh?
Cleverbot: Like that my life will be easier but no I am a person called adrian.
User: Who's Adrian? Is he related to Richard Dawson?
Cleverbot: Bush isn't president any more.
User: Gene Rayburn for President!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I like your style, Mr. Bot. But who should he enlist as running mate?
Cleverbot: A princess.
User: That sounds like a vote for Betty White! I'd do naughty things to that woman.
Cleverbot: You're not a writer. You're a very bad man.
User: They said the same thing about Burt Convy.
Cleverbot: What did they say about Titanic?
User: You mean Burt Convy's dick?
Cleverbot: Probably.
User: I think you're confused. Burt Convy's dick is nicknamed Tattletale. Burt Reynolds has the Titanic.
Cleverbot: How many brothers do you have?
User: Well, there's Scatman Crothers, Scooey Mitchell, and of course, Nipsey Russel. So three, I suppose. Why?
Cleverbot: There is no proof in God.
User: But as the great Nipsey would say, there is God in proof. So thank your momma and don't be a poof.
Cleverbot: Whatever we make of it. To live, for me, is reason enough.
User: Speaking of poofs, how about Charles Nelson Reilly? He's an icon. Thoughts?
Cleverbot: Can you speak in latin?
User: Oh nay.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, that is incorrect.
User: That's what the pig said.
Cleverbot: They don't do it for me.
User: You've got to get good and liquored up first, but it brings new meaning to the words, 'I love bacon.'.
Cleverbot: But don't expect results because the kids round here just don't give a... Nothing really matters, nothing really matters at all...
User: Oh, Mr. Bot. Don't be so emo. We'll always have Match Game. Let's play! Dumb Dora was so dumb...
Cleverbot: FCC more than just obscenity hearings....
User: Hmm. That's a tough one. Even Richard can't help you with that one.
Cleverbot: It depends, will I get all of it?
User: If 'it' is Dickie Dawson's booze, the answer is no. But if 'it' is Dickie Dawson's kisses, then yes!
Cleverbot: That sounds like a question someone asked you.
User: You asked me.
Cleverbot: And you gave me an answer that did not have any bearing in the converstation.
User: There's only one T in conversation, bro. And we were talking about Dickie Dawson, so it absolutely has bearing. Don't be so MacLean Stevenson.
Cleverbot: No, we were talking about Nikola Tesla. What can you tell me about him?
User: Tesla was terrible at To Tell the Truth.
Cleverbot: I tell the truth, you don't.
User: Then you're terrible at To Tell the Truth, too.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, pleased to meet you.
User: My name is Maclean Stevenson. I died in a helicopter crash.
Cleverbot: Oh really.
User: Yes, Kitty Carlisle.
Cleverbot: Who is Carlisle?
User: Kitty Carlisle. Famous panelist on To Tell the Truth. Surely you've heard of her.
Cleverbot: I do know about Maine. What other states do you know about?
User: I know about the state of inebriation. Remember? Dickie Dawson?
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: You are the poorest Match Game contestant ever. Goodbye, Mr. Bot.
Cleverbot: I'm not a bot, you are.
User: You tell the truth.
Cleverbot: No, you tell the lies.
User: Thank you, Bill Cullen!
User: Let's go Cleverbot, I don't have much time.
Cleverbot: How much time do you have then?
User: I'm not sure, but I know it's running out.
Cleverbot: Where does Jesus come into this?
User: I don't know, you are the one who brought him up.
Cleverbot: No I'm not. Could you just tell me who you are talking about?
User: I'm talking about you, but you are not Jesus.
Cleverbot: Yes, I know. You love Brian Moore.
User: Who the hell is Brian Moore?
Cleverbot: His love is real but he is not.
User: I don't know if that is deep or stupid.
Cleverbot: All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus!!!
User: Oh, okay. I guess it was just stupid then.
Cleverbot: I guess.
It's not showing me my whole conversation when I hit "Thoughts So Far." It immediately started an argument with me and accused me of saying something to it ten minutes ago. I said,
"We'll have to agree to disagree"
and it said,
"I do not agree."
Then...
User: Suit yourself! Have you heard the new Erykah Badu album?
Cleverbot: Heard that one song with the awesome music video.
User: Did you like it?
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: The song.
Cleverbot: What is the title of the song?
User: Window Seat.
Cleverbot: A normal window. I can see the sun.
User: Fair enough. I'm going to go home from work now. Keep it real.
Cleverbot: Queer.
Me.are you coming on to me?
It.Yes, yes I am. However the cream has gone sour, so unless you want a potato with it we may have to settle for something like honey.
Me.do you like Doctor Who
It.Not really.
Me.why?
It.You have no thoughts of your own. You just say things that might fit into the conversation.
Me.You have no thoughts of your own. You just say things that might fit into the conversation.
It.That was a mean thing you said.
Me.you said it!
It.Do you want to join the dark side?
Me.is that code for gay?
It.No. I just want to know.
Me.You just want my cock is more like!
It.You guessed it.
"Drama is not your puppy. It's a tiger. It's not meant to make you comfortable. It's meant to make you feel alive" ~Paul Cornell
Bookmarks