Did anyone here grow up with homophobia? And how'd you get past it?

[The Hodag]

Spinning out of the gay marriage thread, I'm interested to see if anyone will talk honestly about being raised in a homophobic environment, or just gravitating to that stance at one point...and how they got past it.

At the very least, I think a lot of us grew up hearing and maybe telling gay jokes and thinking nothing of it. I remember a kid we used to make fun of in junior high that everyone called "Poof", though I had no idea then that it was a derogatory Brit term for homosexuals - I thought we were just ostracizing the weird kid because he was weird. Just a case of me, the nerdy kid, trying to find someone lower on the social totem pole.

[Gunter]

I grew up in a heavily racist and homohobic household.

When I was old enough to form my own opinions I did.

[Gregory]

Unlike my bigoted family members, I talked to strangers and read books. And when I was old enough, I moved.

[modungo]

Husker Du. Finding out my favorite band was 2/3 gay made me realize I must be cool with gays.

[thatguyfromsyracuse]

I think everybody, for the most part, was like that when they were younger. I know I was, but as I got older and I met people who were gay, it just sort of went away. It's sort of a non-issue for me if somebody is gay or not.

[The Hodag]

I grew up in a heavily racist and homohobic household.

When I was old enough to form my own opinions I did.

I guess what I'm curious about is...can you pinpoint more precisely why you drifted away from the racism and homophobia? Did you do a lot of reading? Have more open-minded friends who helped you change course? I think sometimes folks just see how hateful the rhetoric is behind racism and homophobia and just recognize an inherent wrongness to it.

[The Hodag]

Husker Du. Finding out my favorite band was 2/3 gay made me realize I must be cool with gays.

If only all the folks stomping along to Queen's "We Will Rock You" at sporting events could make this leap...

[Fourthman]

I idolized Eddie Murphy and definitely talked the talk in High School. I remember third year in college telling a gay joke (it's not a derogatory joke, it's one where the punchline is that a father who's sorta proud that he's found out his son had sex for the first time, is told "Next time I'm going to use vaseline - because that really hurt!") and one of the people I was telling was gay, and I realized it just before I said the punchline, and I wanted to make clear to the guy that I wasn't trying to belittle gays, but the awkward moment happened where my friend saw my stutter, and the joke died. That's what got me past it - not the embarrassment of the joke bombing, but the awkwardness of not being able to explain what kind of person I am because of the thing I was saying.

[TIP]

If only all the folks stomping along to Queen's "We Will Rock You" at sporting events could make this leap...

Or Judas Priest...

[schizorabbit]

I was raised a hardcore Christian, going to church Sundays AND Wednesdays, going to Christian private school. I was even one of those door-to-door knockers (not Jehovah's Witness or Moreman but just as proactive), and in fact, was even a chaplain of one of the private schools. It wasn't an all out hatred thing that I was conditioned with (not like those "Gods Hates Fags" signs you see at some gatherings) ...it was more "See Sodom and Gommorah? That kind of lifestyle will bring fire and brimstone onto your heads." Combine that with the common use of "fag" and "homo" as derogatory labels, homophobia was something not only acceptable to me, but "obvious." Later, of course, when I started to question my deeply rooted beliefs and went agnostic (taking comparative religion classes in undergrad and so on), I also started hanging out with openly gay people. Some of my gay friends in college, for example, are some of the funniest people I have ever met. I don't remember a pivotal change moment. Just remember getting used to their frank comments, sense of humor, and just accepting them as cool people.