Reply With QuoteThree dogs is alot. Especially when you have allergies and aren't a dog person. I would maybe like a cat some day, but my lady is allegic and she's not a cat person. It'd feel wrong if I got one.
he's right. i have a friend that for some reason collects stray pit bulls. i can't even go to her house anymore because i'm terrified of big dogs anyway, but she has like four or five random ones running around at any given point in time.Originally Posted by joespam
so make sure you set boundaries- her boyfriend is currently wishing he had, i'm sure.
Three dogs is alot. Especially when you have allergies and aren't a dog person. I would maybe like a cat some day, but my lady is allegic and she's not a cat person. It'd feel wrong if I got one.
I'd like to clarify the situation here so everyone gets the WHOLE TRUTH please.
Here is Chrissy's photo:
She is a tiny girl at only 110 lbs and MAYBE 22" tall. Yes, size is relative, but we own colossal-breed dogs. Comparatively, she is very small. Our home is big enough to accommodate three or more dogs easily. Yes, Chrissy was abused, but she is pathologically shy and not the type to suddenly "snap." Part of my job entails behavioral assessment of dogs, and at the risk of sounding like a pompous jackass, I'm VERY good at what I do. I've been right every time. I've had years of mentoring, and each evaluation on a dog involved at least 50 different tests and triggers. Chrissy is shy, she clearly has abuse issues, but she's submissive in her defense. She's rather pee on herself and expose her belly than bark or growl and raise her hackles, even if cornered.
Chrissy was placed with our rescue years ago. we'd adopted her out (way before my time) to an unfit family where she was promptly left to her own devices and hit by a car. English mastiffs are house-dogs. They NEED people with them, or they can literally die of a broken heart. It's not uncommon for them to starve themselves to death when upset by a divorce/separation, etc. Chrissy's owners couldn't pay for her surgery. They got another dog, a Basset, who they gave to rescue because "it was too dang stupid." The next dog they got bloated (look up "bloat") and they didn't get it to a hospital, so it died a horrible, painful death, screaming until the very end. Then they got yet another dog. This last one and Chrissy were abandoned over 7 months ago with some idiots who didn't see fit to keep them inside, love them, or properly care for them. No monthly flea preventative (the girls were INFESTED when i got them!) no heartworm pills, no current vaccinations, and they didn't spend any time with them.
Chrissy wouldn't come near us at first. Then I sang to her and she came right to me and wouldn't leave my side after that. She snuggles on the couch, in bed, runs to the van to take our son to school in the mornings, and is just the sweetest little thing ever! My heart broke when I delivered her to her VA foster home. I cried the whole way back and every day since. It's been a week now. We ARE able to keep her, but Ethan is telling me now that it's my choice: I can continue rescue efforts, or I can have Chrissy, I can not have a third dog AND continue to be involved in rescue.
This is after saying "yes, let's keep her, you can have her" several times and THEN saying "What? No! No way."
And I think that sucks.
Last edited by Sharis the Bunny; 03-02-2008 at 07:16 AM.
The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears. ~Arabian Proverb
Why would you care what other people think?
They're not married to you, or living in your house.
Your neighbors aren't the Stasi or Cheka, and you have no fear of detainment or imprisonment based on what they think about your family.
Funny thing about wives...if you make them happy, they find ways of making you very happy in return.
I'm pretty sure that caring what people think is a behavior that I'm trying to learn, not something that comes naturally. So having neighbors, making friends with them, saying "hi" in the morning, stuff like that...it's becoming important because we see them every day, and I'm raising a little boy here who doesn't need to have friends whose parents think his parents are goofy.Why would you care what other people think?
They're not married to you, or living in your house.
Your neighbors aren't the Stasi or Cheka, and you have no fear of detainment or imprisonment based on what they think about your family.
Funny thing about wives...if you make them happy, they find ways of making you very happy in return.
Two dogs or three dogs...makes no difference practically, I guess. I'm just curious what people think about that.
It does suck, sweetheart. I'm conflicted and trying to find a good solution. Jinxworld is helpful.I'd like to clarify the situation here so everyone gets the WHOLE TRUTH please.
Here is Chrissy's photo:
She is a tiny girl at only 110 lbs and MAYBE 22" tall. Yes, size is relative, but we own colossal-breed dogs. Comparatively, she is very small. Our home is big enough to accommodate three or more dogs easily. Yes, Chrissy was abused, but she is pathologically shy and not the type to suddenly "snap." Part of my job entails behavioral assessment of dogs, and at the risk of sounding like a pompous jackass, I'm VERY good at what I do. I've been right every time. I've had years of mentoring, and each evaluation on a dog involved at least 50 different tests and triggers. Chrissy is shy, she clearly has abuse issues, but she's submissive in her defense. She's rather pee on herself and expose her belly than bark or growl and raise her hackles, even if cornered.
Chrissy was placed with our rescue years ago. we'd adopted her out (way before my time) to an unfit family where she was promptly left to her own devices and hit by a car. English mastiffs are house-dogs. They NEED people with them, or they can literally die of a broken heart. It's not uncommon for them to starve themselves to death when upset by a divorce/separation, etc. Chrissy's owners couldn't pay for her surgery. They got another dog, a Basset, who they gave to rescue because "it was too dang stupid." The next dog they got bloated (look up "bloat") and they didn't get it to a hospital, so it died a horrible, painful death, screaming until the very end. Then they got yet another dog. This last one and Chrissy were abandoned over 7 months ago with some idiots who didn't see fit to keep them inside, love them, or properly care for them. No monthly flea preventative (the girls were INFESTED when i got them!) no heartworm pills, no current vaccinations, and they didn't spend any time with them.
Chrissy wouldn't come near us at first. Then I sang to her and she came right to me and wouldn't leave my side after that. She snuggles on the couch, in bed, runs to the van to take our son to school in the mornings, and is just the sweetest little thing ever! My heart broke when I delivered her to her VA foster home. I cried the whole way back and every day since. It's been a week now. We ARE able to keep her, but Ethan is telling me now that it's my choice: I can continue rescue efforts, or I can have Chrissy, I can not have a third dog AND continue to be involved in rescue.
This is after saying "yes, let's keep her, you can have her" several times and THEN saying "What? No! No way."
And I think that sucks.
She likes it small?
Ok, seriously, this is one of those marriage things that you should only listen to other married people about.
It's all about compromise and knowing the other person. Was Sharis a dog person before you got married? I mean, did you know this was part of the deal going in? Or is this something totally new?
You have two giant dogs already, with admitted room for a third. But just because there is room, it doesn't mean it needs to be filled. How many dogs are going to be enough? Will it stop at three? What happens when the next wonderful dog that Sharis can't bear to to part with shows up. Because it will.
I respect the hell out of people who do pet rescue services. I know I could never volunteer to foster rescue dogs, because I would grow too attached to them, and I wouldn't be able to let them go. Heck, Christy and I adopted Chloe (see my sig picture) 8 months ago, and the woman who fostered her tried to get her back from us on a number of occasions. She even stopped by yesterday afternoon "just so I could see her". As annoying as it is, I understand why she does it.
Ethan, you are allergic to dogs in the first place, so the very presence of them has an adverse effect on your quality of life, and you flat out don't like them, and don't want anything to do with them. And yet, you compromise and live with them. The two of you need to sit down and figure out what the limit is, and find a solution you can both live with.
Sounds like he teaches S&M. -Schizorabbit
Keep the dog.
You can't win any kind of battle with your pretty and sweet wife who wants to do a compassionate thing.
Do you really need a gay man to tell you this kind of thing?
Besides, If I understand straight people, doing this will get you "things" later. I think. I'm only vaguely aware of how this kind of deal works. .
It's a cruel ultimatium to give her, choose either keeping the dog or working with the rescue.It does suck, sweetheart. I'm conflicted and trying to find a good solution. Jinxworld is helpful.
One doesn't have anything to do with the other.
It's your control issue.
I understand what you're thinking - every few months she'll fall in love with another dog, and soon you'll have 20 dogs living there.
Just trust that you married a sensible woman, and that having one more dog isn't as dire of a household apocalypse as you fear it will be.
I have one cocker spaniel and that is enough for me, though I am not an animal lover. I could never have some gigantic dog that was abused in my home since you never know when some of that abuse will come to the surface.
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