Gail Simone's Fake POWERS Letters Column

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

Ten bucks says this thread actually ends up being a POWERS lettercolumn at some point. Hell, all Bendis does for it these days is copy and paste threads from the board in there.

[Gail Simone]

What are your thoughts on Van Damme movies?

I HAVE DONE OVER TWELVE THOUSAND ISSUES OF ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN WITH ARTIST HUGH BEAUMONT.

THE DEFINITIVE ULTIMATE HUGH BEAUMONT

Thrill to the stories that you loved the first time when Stan Lee wrote them, but now the villains have like, armor and shit!

Awesome Beaumont action AS YOU LIKE IT and man ALIVE that's a lot of web fluid on Peter's bedsheets. Wait, are we sure that's webfluid? How come it's all crusty like that? I swear to god, his bedsheet looks like a photo negative of a dalmation's coat. Why is that gym sock standing up on its own? When I look at it through a microscope, it has a little civilization on it.

Over four thousand pages of author's notes, commentator's comments, and grocery lists will be included. Also, look for the webfluid variant edition, but don't leave it in your car on a hot day.

29.95, printed on old issues of HOT N' JUICY Magazine

[Gail Simone]

Have you ever eaten a Hot Dago?

RECOMMENDED: DAVID MAMET

Mr. Brian Mamet.

Mr. B. David Michael Mamet.

Mrs. David Brian Bendis-Mamet.

Ms. D. B. Mamet-Bendis-Mamet.

Ms. Brian Michael Bendis Mamet 4 EVER!

[Gail Simone]

I thought the slash fiction you did with Paste Pot Pete and Wonder Man was great.

I WISH I COULD TALK ABOUT "SECRET PROJECT!"

"SECRET PROJECT" MAY BE THE BEST THING I'VE WRITTEN AT MARVEL. "SECRET PROJECT" WILL CHANGE THINGS FOREVER.

I'VE DECIDED NOT TO DO "SECRET PROJECT."

[Gail Simone]

ULTIMATE AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY

3007 pages of scribbles, doodles and notes. Here's just an excerpt!

"Spidey--should fight someone? WHAT IF THE SOMEONE HAD STRENGTH?!?!?"

and

"Hawkeye--something happens with EROS? What if he SHOOTS his EROS at someone? What if SOMEONE WAS FAST LIKE WOOOOSH!?!?!"

And that's just a SAMPLE!

As a special bonus, story will be included, space permitting!

29.95 Printed on Glondo paper, or Shplondo, or some other 'ondo'

[Gail Simone]

I could totally do this. I don't know why he hasn't asked me.

It's probably jealousy.


Gail

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

Do you like George Wendt?

[Bryan H]

The fact that you started this with a Priest joke makes you more awesomer.

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

Do you like potatoes?

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

Would you like to see a movie featuring George Wendt eating potatoes?