Need opinions on my submission!

[jmringuet]

I already posted that on Mike Oeming borad but I would like to get as many opinions as I can, so here goes.

I'm working on a project that I'm very excited about. It's called SUPERCHARGER and was born of the ashes of another project started with James Patrick. I'm writing it and doing all the art, and it encapsulates a lot of things I love and that I have wanted to do for a very long time. It merges cool movies from the 60s70s like Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia, Vanishing Point, the Getaway, and some cool modern settings with a lot of Car Culture thrown in. Basically it's Grand Theft Auto meets Hellboy, as if directed by Sam Peckinpah :D

I'm planning to do a submission very soon but I have not choosen the publishers just now, so if you have some advice on that, on who would be best and most interested by that kind of book, don't hesitate. And if a publisher reads that we can talk :)
It's planned as a 3 issues miniseries, with self-contained stories spanning a larger story arc. I left more room for future stories.

Have a look at the first 3 pages, try to read if you can make out the text and give me your opinion please!



http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/5637/jmringuet01colorsmalliw3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/1834/jmringuet02colorsmallyb6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/8022/jmringuet03colorsmallci3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[stevapalooza]

My opinion is WOW! Very nice looking stuff. And a very distinctive style too. I don't think you'll have a huge problem getting this published somewhere.

[Thommy Melanson]

The art's really impressive -very vibrant and leaps off the page.

As far as submitting, you might as well start with the Other Big 2, Image and Dark Horse. Follow their submissions guides to the letter, and obviously if you know anyone with any contacts there, ask 'em to put in a good word for ya.

Dark Horse is a bit more picky about what they'll take, but Image isn't a cakewalk either. Make sure you have an airtight pitch, 'cuz Larsen's like water, he'll find the hole in it and leak all over you.

In the very likely event neither of those two bite, IDW, Slave Labor Graphics and Avatar all have diverse catalogues and are the more likely to take a chance on a property they feel is good.

Best of luck, and I hope you find a home for Supercharger, 'cuz as a car buff and lover of gritty '70s flicks, I'd be first in line to buy it.

[jmringuet]

Thanks for the comments guys.

Those publishers are mostly those I was thinking about except maybe for Dark Horse that seems a bit 'unreachable'. But I would love to give it a try.

[innocentboy]

xxx123

[jmringuet]

I think my story concept is pretty airtight because I polished it until there's onl the core of it left: simple and clear.
About the whole pitch I'm not sure yet, I have to work on that.

[Thomas Mauer]

I love the yellowed page look. Gives it a nice retro feel.

2 lettering related things you might want to look out for:

The capital I (with the horizontal crossbars at the top and bottom) is reserved for the personal pronoun. All other I's at the beginning of words and sentences should just be a single horizontal line - lower case in an all-caps font (see page 1, panel 1).

Try to avoid creating tangents with balloons, tails and captions (e.g. page 1 panel 6 (that tail looks like it's coming from an electronic device like a radio, btw).

[TonyFleecs]

Holy shit those are nice!

As for publishers, you know the same ones I know.... Maybe Boom though? Also... I don't know if there's still a CAR-TOONS magazine, but if you're thinking outside the box, maybe they'd serialize it or maybe they'd know of a publisher that could get you Car buff readers as well as comic readers.

[jmringuet]

Tom: yeah lettering is not my strong point, thanks for the advice.

Tony: couldn't find anything online about car-toons.

[Thomas Mauer]

At any rate, good luck, Jim!

[TonyFleecs]

Tony: couldn't find anything online about car-toons.
Huh, according to the internet that's because they stopped publishing it in 1991... Who knew?

It probably wouldn't have been the place anyway. It was pretty lowbrow if I recall... Lots of strips you could clip & hang in the garage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CARtoons_Magazine

[/(. . )/]

get rid of the word crash on the bottom. everyone knows they crashed.

[Thomas Mauer]

get rid of the word crash on the bottom. everyone knows they crashed.

Uh, it's not uncommon to have SFX accompany an image. Like a BOOM in a panel with an explosion. The move away from SFX is rather European and while there's a definite European feel to the art, it's not a necessity to drop the CRASH just because of that.

What we have here is a very stylized image of an impact in progress. Dropping the SFX would make it look static and silent instead.

[/(. . )/]

Uh, it's not uncommon to have SFX accompany an image. Like a BOOM in a panel with an explosion. The move away from SFX is rather European and while there's a definite European feel to the art, it's not a necessity to drop the CRASH just because of that.

What we have here is a very stylized image of an impact in progress. Dropping the SFX would make it look static and silent instead.

In my opinion, the crash is corny. We can see that the cars have crashed. I don't need to be told it as well. Is that really a sound effect? It's so neat and pretty. So soft. Are crashes tidy and soft?

Looking back again, the placement of the word crash works with the flow of the page, perfect placement behind the text.

However, it takes me out of the story and reminds me that I'm reading a comic book. Maybe find another word to fill the space, one that is not a noun with the same meaning, but rather a sound. Clash, crunk, etc.

or he could go more psychological and insert a word that the main character would be thinking as his competitors crash.

just my opinion

[Natty P]

I dig everything about it visually, alot. I

[jmringuet]

Thanks Tom for this and the good pointers.

[jmringuet]

The CRASH! was supposed to be a sound effect, and I put it on the ground just because I thought it worked better with the look of the panel and because I'm trying to be all graphic designy and stuff. Maybe it is corny. It well could be. Like I said I'm no letterer :)
If more people insist I will get rid of it.

Dark Nat: huge thanks!

[Thomas Mauer]

Well, I'm a letterer and I endorse the CRASH. :)

Though I understand where you're coming from, PG (forgot your real name, sorry).

[DrMachine]

I like it, the art is nice the color is great. I think the "special effects" are over done, especially on the first page. Also, why is the girl blurry at the bottom of the first page? She's not moving relative to the camera, so she shouldn't be blurry.

[Josh!]

Very, very stylistic and cool. I can't offer any constructive criticism, other than I look forward to the day I can pick this up.

[SMACK!]

I think the CRASH looks cool, but it doesn't communicate a sound effect, but instead a chapter heading.

[James Patrick]

The crash is a stylistic addition to the panel that works really well.

[Adam Beranek]

That rules!!!

[SMACK!]

Didn't notice the SKREEEE sound effect the first time I looked at it. Perhaps it needs to be more opaque.

[jmringuet]

Dr Machine: the girl is not only blurry in the last panel but she also doesn't APPEAR in panel 2 ;) There is a good reason for that that will be explained in the first issue more or less (yes some mystery!).

Talking about sound effects did anybody notice the VRAAAAAAA page 2, next to the skreeeeees ?
I'm no letterer and yet I try to find new ways of doing sound effects and such (yeah I know it's arrogant). My idea is that you can use a lot of different fonts, and a lot of different ways to display sound fx, they don't have to be what you see in every other book, but I could be wrong on that point. I also think that sound fx should be inside the art as opposed of on top of it, which is why I try to integrate them and not make them too obvious. Kinda very graphic designy again.
And as for the relevance of sound effects I read a very good article by Erik Larsen who is in favor of keeping them (that and captions - old style captions like I used, that actually describes what's on the page - how very post-modern), and the article by Alan Moore how comics are not books or movies, but something that use words and pictures. Sound effects are words so they should be in there when appropriate.


What do you all think?

Tom: I use a free font that doesn't have the I with and without the horizontal lines. Do comic fonts always have that? I can try to fake it maybe (I don;t have the money to buy a font).

[Thomas Mauer]

Talking about sound effects did anybody notice the VRAAAAAAA page 2, next to the skreeeeees ?
Huh, no, I didn't. You *should* make that one a bit more readable so people notice that there's a car going into overdrive (just noticed now).

I'm no letterer and yet I try to find new ways of doing sound effects and such (yeah I know it's arrogant). My idea is that you can use a lot of different fonts, and a lot of different ways to display sound fx,
Correct.

they don't have to be what you see in every other book, but I could be wrong on that point.
Correct. You just need to get the "sound" across. SFX aren't really supposed to be read but to provide ambience.

I also think that sound fx should be inside the art as opposed of on top of it, which is why I try to integrate them and not make them too obvious. Kinda very graphic designy again.
You've been absorbing the Chris Eliopoulos interview on Wordballoon nicely. :thumb:

Tom: I use a free font that doesn't have the I with and without the horizontal lines. Do comic fonts always have that? I can try to fake it maybe (I don;t have the money to buy a font).
They usually do. Go to http://www.blambot.com and have a look at their selection of free fonts. Just be aware that you can't use them if the book gets signed by one of the Big Four without paying for a license.

[stevapalooza]

Fonts aren't really that expensive. Blambot's pro fonts only run about 20 or 30 bucks.

[James Patrick]

I see one glaring problem.

No boobs.

[ClintP]

Dr Machine: the girl is not only blurry in the last panel but she also doesn't APPEAR in panel 2 ;) There is a good reason for that that will be explained in the first issue more or less (yes some mystery!).


What like the movie Vanishing Point?

I like the use of cars in there. Just ask Taki about that!;)

[JHickman]

I already posted that on Mike Oeming borad but I would like to get as many opinions as I can, so here goes.

I'm working on a project that I'm very excited about. It's called SUPERCHARGER and was born of the ashes of another project started with James Patrick. I'm writing it and doing all the art, and it encapsulates a lot of things I love and that I have wanted to do for a very long time. It merges cool movies from the 60s70s like Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia, Vanishing Point, the Getaway, and some cool modern settings with a lot of Car Culture thrown in. Basically it's Grand Theft Auto meets Hellboy, as if directed by Sam Peckinpah :D

I'm planning to do a submission very soon but I have not choosen the publishers just now, so if you have some advice on that, on who would be best and most interested by that kind of book, don't hesitate. And if a publisher reads that we can talk :)
It's planned as a 3 issues miniseries, with self-contained stories spanning a larger story arc. I left more room for future stories.

Have a look at the first 2 pages, try to read if you can make out the text and give me your opinion please!



Hey, this looks really nice.

Submit it to Image.

[Thomas Mauer]

I like the use of cars in there. Just ask Taki about that!;)

:D

[jmringuet]

ClintP: is there a blurry girl in Vanishing Point? Not that I can remember :) Or I missed the joke. What would Taki have to say about it by the way?

Jonathan: hey, thanks for the comments. I'm a big fan of Nightly News in how you really reinvented the layout. It really inspired me to push the enveloppe and try new things.
I think I'm going to submit to Image.

Tom: thanks again and again. I'll try to look into those free fonts. Believe it or not but $30 is quite a bit of money for me, at least for a submission.

I'm really glad people dig the pages.

Now time to try to fix those sound effects!

[Thomas Mauer]

Hey, this looks really nice.

Submit it to Image.
I bet it would help if he had an endorsement. ;)


ClintP: is there a blurry girl in Vanishing Point? Not that I can remember :) Or I missed the joke. What would Taki have to say about it by the way?
http://www.takisoma.com/comic - Taki's improving with the cars. :)

Tom: thanks again and again. I'll try to look into those free fonts. Believe it or not but $30 is quite a bit of money for me, at least for a submission.

There's no need to apologize, man. Nothing wrong with using free fonts.

[/(. . )/]

Dr Machine: the girl is not only blurry in the last panel but she also doesn't APPEAR in panel 2 ;) There is a good reason for that that will be explained in the first issue more or less (yes some mystery!).

Talking about sound effects did anybody notice the VRAAAAAAA page 2, next to the skreeeeees ?
I'm no letterer and yet I try to find new ways of doing sound effects and such (yeah I know it's arrogant). My idea is that you can use a lot of different fonts, and a lot of different ways to display sound fx, they don't have to be what you see in every other book, but I could be wrong on that point. I also think that sound fx should be inside the art as opposed of on top of it, which is why I try to integrate them and not make them too obvious. Kinda very graphic designy again.
And as for the relevance of sound effects I read a very good article by Erik Larsen who is in favor of keeping them (that and captions - old style captions like I used, that actually describes what's on the page - how very post-modern), and the article by Alan Moore how comics are not books or movies, but something that use words and pictures. Sound effects are words so they should be in there when appropriate.


What do you all think?

Tom: I use a free font that doesn't have the I with and without the horizontal lines. Do comic fonts always have that? I can try to fake it maybe (I don;t have the money to buy a font).
These are geniusly placed sound effects because we don't notice them, just subconsciously feel them. I really like your idea and execution.

Still against the crash.

I'm not trying to be an ass or anything. The people who screen submissions probably have to read through hundreds of these all the time. I think spelling out a crash may not be the best idea. I you can change the word, I think something that hasn't been done before is to have the word be what ever the character is thinking when the competitors crash.

Also, you should have posted 5 pages here. Let us see what the submission editors would see.

[Steve Marshall]

Beautiful work. Good luck.

[jmringuet]

I don't have the 5 pages done yet, I'm working on it :)
I wanted some early opinions to know if I was going in the right direction (rather than after I sent all my mailings).

I'm very happy so many people with different tastes all like the pages.
Thanks for the comments.

[jmringuet]

I don't have the 5 pages done yet, I'm working on it :)
I wanted some early opinions to know if I was going in the right direction (rather than after I sent all my mailings).

I'm very happy so many people with different tastes all like the pages.
Thanks for the comments.

[jmringuet]

I don't have the 5 pages done yet, I'm working on it :)
I wanted some early opinions to know if I was going in the right direction (rather than after I sent all my mailings).

I'm very happy so many people with different tastes all like the pages.
Thanks for the comments.

[jmringuet]

Tom: I discovered that the font I'm using has the two different 'I' so I can change it. Thanks for the advice.

[jmringuet]

Bump it up!

[jmringuet]

Obviously updated with the 3rd page on page 1!