Post your handy-dandy tips

[TheGibson]

Like grilled cheese sandwiches?

TIP: Try a thin slice of onion on it next time!



Computer slowing down? (http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1838091,00.asp)

TIP: Go to RUN in your start menu and type "msconfig" Check the STARTUP tab to see if you have a bunch of stuff running in the background that might not be showing in your system tray! If there's stuff you know you don't need, uncheck it! But when in doubt, leave it alone!

[BriRedfern]

Light bulb brake of in the socket? Unplug/turn off the light and use an apple cut in half to get the bulb out! A potato works too!

[JABSEN]

Don't forget to breathe.

[changingshades]

you can use toothpaste to fill the holes in drywall from bullet holes

[Taki Soma]

you can still drink milk after the expiration date.
vomiting will ensue, of course.

[GelfXIII]

When editing a fit-to-fill section of music, drop the end in where you want it, then back time it to the beginning and do a fade up at the top. Hardly anyone will notice, and those that do will probably commend you for making it work.

[changingshades]

you can still drink milk after the expiration date.
vomiting will ensue, of course.

actually you have between 3-7 days after the expiration date, depending on the type and how good your fridge is.

Expiration is a sell by date, they don't expect you to drink a gallon on the sell by.

Jon

who used to work dairy and knows shit.

[t00lverine]

Old comics you don't want anymore (90s Image, et al) make great wrapping paper.

[Taki Soma]

actually you have between 3-7 days after the expiration date, depending on the type and how good your fridge is.

Expiration is a sell by date, they don't expect you to drink a gallon on the sell by.

Jon

who used to work dairy and knows shit.

way to ruin a perfectly dry humor post.

[Brian Defferding]

Do not buy Monster Cables for your TV/Home Theatre. It's a complete rip off and the retail stores push them on you because they make tons of profit from it. Just buy regular component, S-Video or HDMI cables from Amazon; there isn't a significant difference in picture/sound and you'll save possibly over a hundred dollars.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

after making your peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread, put it in the microwave for 15 seconds
you'll be plesently surprised

[Matt Jay]

Tuna + grape jelly = teh awesome.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Tuna in your speghetti sauce
amazing!

[Jef UK]

Tuna + grape jelly = teh awesome.


Destroy Matt Jay and all his ideas.

[Mxy]

This is how you win at the claw machine (machine filled with stuffed animals).

Step one: know what your dealing with.

Okay so claw machines come in different sizes with different types of claws. Now you want to avoid machines that have claws with no curves (triangle like) or machines that have Giant claws to pick up giant stuffed animals. Trust me the weight of a giant panda is too much for a claw machine.

Step Two: Know when your getting ripped off

So you also want to inspect the stuff animals. A comon trick is when the stuffed animals are pinned together, this is so you will waste 5 bucks trying to take out a 1.00 stuffed animal and most likely fail. You want to target machines that have loose animals or my personal favorites have just been stocked, the recently stocked machines have the toys loose on top because they cant pin them. Your golden when they do this because all you have to do is use the claw to nudge the animals into the hole. Ive actually won 3 stuffed animals on 50 cents alone!

Step 3: Play to win not to get ______ toy

A common mistake most rookie make is going after the popular toy which ofcourse if either

A) Pinned

or

B) in a bad position.

Play to win if it means you get some generic toy but miss out on the scooby doo then so be it. At least youll be a winner.

Step 4 Know your instrument.

The best position to pick up a stuffed animal is by targeting the body or the head. Avoid arms or legs, all you will do is watch the toy slip out of the delicate claw.

Step 5 Walk away.

Claw Machines are addicting this is why you have to learn to walk away. There is nothing worse than loosing 10 bucks trying to win a 3.00 toy. You have to know when your beat and walk away.

[Dreg]

Looking to start a new Christmas tradition?

Tip: Yelling out "ees a sweater!" in El Guapo's voice everytime you receive a sweater from a relative is not a good choice. Even though we both know it'll always be hysterical, your family will start to resent you for your coolness after the fifth or sixth time.

[Matt Jay]

Destroy Matt Jay and all his ideas.

Try it now and thank me later.

[Special Agent Bachman]

Don't ever attempt to have a conversation with ----- -------- during a chance meeting because when he initiates one with you he'll ask to see your portfolio and for some inexplicable reason feel obligated to spend half an hour sneering at your work and condescending towards you with reckless abandon whilst showing off his Nagel-derivative Poser model tracejobs, also known as "his upcoming ----- pencils" or whatever. Just walk away!

[stevapalooza]

Instead of jerking off the old fashioned way just lay down on your stomach, tuck your hand under yourself and fuck you palm. It usually makes for a better orgasm than plain old jerking off. And it's a great way to scare off roomates.

[Special Agent Bachman]

Instead of jerking off the old fashioned way just lay down on your stomach, tuck your hand under yourself and fuck you palm. It usually makes for a better orgasm than plain old jerking off. And it's a great way to scare off roomates.

Err, sounds too messy and chafe-inducing.
:-?

[Yano]

For a microwave that's smelly and has a lot of gunk in it put in a bowl of water with a teaspoon of lemon juice in it. Microwave for 5 minutes (i put a toothpick at the top because I heard that it can explode - don't know if it's true but I'm not taking any chances). After it's done, let it stand for 2-3 minutes to let the steam soften the crud. Take the bowl out (careful, it's hot!) and then use a sponge to get the crusties off!

[Pat Loika]

When you're going on a stealth mission, use a black surfboard.

P.

[Ryudo]

When you're going on a stealth mission, use a black surfboard.

P.

Unless it's in Alaska.

[Taki Soma]

if you want to buy chinchillas as pets for kids, don't.

[stevapalooza]

if you want to buy chinchillas as pets for kids, don't.

Unless you hate your kids.

[Taki Soma]

Unless you hate your kids.

or more like if you hate animals.

[Thommy Melanson]

Two fingers.

A "Come Hither" motion.

Rinse, repeat.

[changingshades]

way to ruin a perfectly dry humor post.

:thumb:

[changingshades]

Destroy Matt Jay and all his ideas.

I must agree

[changingshades]

if you want to buy chinchillas as pets for kids, don't.

my roommate has a chinchilla. It wakes him up at 1 every morning.

[Sean Jackson]

Like grilled cheese sandwiches?

TIP: Try a thin slice of onion on it next time!
I deem this thread broken. Onions are the weed of the devil.

[Sean Jackson]

Your feet are as long as your forearm...

plus I hate you.

[Pat Loika]

Unless it's in Alaska.

...fuck.

P.

[Briomega]

"Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start" is the answer to all life's problems.

[sans serif]

I deem this thread broken. Onions are the weed of the devil.

Well, it's also delicious if you put some tomato on it. Is it fixed?

[Ryudo]

...fuck.

P.

(But why would you need a surfboard in snow?)

[Pat Loika]

(But why would you need a surfboard in snow?)

...FUCK!

P.

[Ryudo]

...FUCK!

P.

(Moral of the story: all of Pat's espionage missions take place in California, Hawaii, or Florida.)

[EasyE726]

Is this another one of those TIP threads?

[Modok Gas]

Try evading enemies by hiding in a cardboard box.

[Modok Gas]

"Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start" is the answer to all life's problems.

Unless you're playing Gradius III....

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konami_Code


The code has continued to be present in Gradius sequels and spin-offs, including the Super NES version of Gradius III, which actually destroys the player's ship upon entering the original code.

[Smokinblues]

lifehacker.com

[Taxman]

Where's the Chocolate Pig Holes?

[Matt Jay]

When scooping ice cream, run some hot water over the spoon so you don't have to push so hard.

[bartleby]

When scooping ice cream, run some hot water over the spoon so you don't have to push so hard.

That advice can also be applied to having sex.

[DrMachine]

15% is ENOUGH!

[Taki Soma]

my roommate has a chinchilla. It wakes him up at 1 every morning.

I had two. One named Galactus and one named Socrates.

They were cute, but the highest maintenance things ever!

[Brian Defferding]

When making a Brandy Old Fashioned, it's okay if you don't have bitters or sugar in arm's reach. Just use some Old Fashioned mix (available at any liquor store), Korbel, ice and soda. 2/4 of the glass should be Brandy, 1/4 Old Fashioned Mix and 1/4 soda (use the white or flavored soda, like Cherry 7up or Sprite). Stir and give it a minute for the ice to settle in the drink, and enjoy.

[Matt Jay]

It is best to wait for the winter season before shaving your first initial into your chest hair, as it may take a few months for it to grow back properly.

[jason hissong]

When making a Brandy Old Fashioned, it's okay if you don't have bitters or sugar in arm's reach. Just use some Old Fashioned mix (available at any liquor store), Korbel, ice and soda. 3/4 of the glass should be Brandy, 1/4 Old Fashioned Mix and 1/4 soda (use the white or flavored soda, like Cherry 7up or Sprite). Stir and give it a minute for the ice to settle in the drink, and enjoy.

that's more than an entire glass.

[Brian Defferding]

that's more than an entire glass.

:lol: Whoops! I'm tired. Typo. I meant 2/4's Brandy (yes, I realize I could just say "one half Brandy", but I was putting it into context on how the glass should be mixed).

Gonna go back an edit now... :p

[TIP]

Is this another one of those TIP threads?


Where's the Chocolate Pig Holes?

:lol:

:wink:

T

[Smokinblues]

15% is ENOUGH!

but 5% is not! :mad:

[Andy Kuhn]

after you pull your peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the microwave try placing it between your hand and your penis as you lay on top of it. i think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

[Brian Defferding]

after you pull your peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the microwave try placing it between your hand and your penis as you lay on top of it. i think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

HAW!

[joshdahl]

This one os always poorly recieved until people try it...

When making mac and cheese from a box, add a couple of slices of real cheese. Then, replace the milk that you ad with a can of creamed corn.

Calm down a minute and think about it. Creamed corn is only really nasty when it is alone on a plate. Adding the creamy-corniness gives the mac and cheese a caserole-esque edge.

Want one more?
Ok. This one will mess you up. It is THAT good.

Make pancakes from a box mix, but replace the milk in the recipe with orange juice and add some of those cranberry-raisin things.

Wow. it's good.

Josh Dahl

[Mxy]

Sure fire way to beat insomnia.

Step One
Get up and take warm shower

Step Two
Have a Penut Butter Sandwich and Milk

Step Three

Get some extra pillows (one or two)

Get into bed but here is the twist. Do it upside down. Put your feet on top of the pillows on your bed and use the extra pillows for your head.

Then let the snorring begin...

[Taki Soma]

embrace your mistakes, it's the only way you will learn from it.

[Mr. E!]

Try this the next time you make spaghetti sauce: Right before you take the sauce off the heat, sprinkle some sugar and cinnamon in it.

[SteveZegers]

When making cookies use half butter and half shortening. They hold their shape better and you don't notice the difference in flavor.

[Rod Nunley]

Like Iced Tea? When you add your sugar also add just a bit of Cinnimon. It taste's awesome.

[sans serif]

This one os always poorly recieved until people try it...

When making mac and cheese from a box, add a couple of slices of real cheese. Then, replace the milk that you ad with a can of creamed corn.

Calm down a minute and think about it. Creamed corn is only really nasty when it is alone on a plate. Adding the creamy-corniness gives the mac and cheese a caserole-esque edge.

Want one more?
Ok. This one will mess you up. It is THAT good.

Make pancakes from a box mix, but replace the milk in the recipe with orange juice and add some of those cranberry-raisin things.

Wow. it's good.

Josh Dahl

I'm not comfortable with the cream-corniness and I won't accept it.

The pancakes, on the other hand, sound wonderful.

[changingshades]

I'm not comfortable with the cream-corniness and I won't accept it.

The pancakes, on the other hand, sound wonderful.

cream corn IS the work of satan

[TheGibson]

Use a brown or black marker to hide scuffs on your nice shoes.

[HoneyDippinDan]

"Try throwing away the socks before you gots the holes in the feets."

-This message brought to you by an intoxicated homeless man.

[RebootedCorpse]

No matter how good the commercial makes it look, Taco Bell's newest creation will taste like poo.

[Agent Desmond]

Holding your tongue to the roof of your mouth can help prevent an ice cream headache.

[changingshades]

No matter how good the commercial makes it look, Taco Bell's newest creation will taste like poo.

"how do you want your meat and beans in a tortilla?

[BriRedfern]

After entering your post, you can press "Alt S" to post instead of clicking the button!!

[Taki Soma]

"how do you want your meat and beans in a tortilla?

"hopefully the traditional way without the vomiting and the diahrrea."

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

Make sure you know which of the two pop cans you ashed in before you take a drink.

[Pat Loika]

If you want the ultimate thrill, you gotta be willing to pay the ultimate price.

[Boris the Blade]

If the drummer is too tired for an encore, then he's too tired for the after-party.

[joshdahl]

"Try throwing away the socks before you gots the holes in the feets."

-This message brought to you by an intoxicated homeless man.

Here's another good one....Tune in to WIDR FM!

Kalamzoo REP-RA-ZENT!

Who is this? Do I know you? Do you know me?

Josh Dahl

[Foolish Mortal]

Lemonade + Grape Kool-Aid = Grapeade

Delicious. :thumb:

[Schroedingers Cat]

Use your Pinky to pick your nose. You won't get as many nosebleeds.

[Thommy Melanson]

Use your Pinky to pick your nose. You won't get as many nosebleeds.

This is also good advice for coaxing Lemmiwinks out of yer mud-maze.

[SteveZegers]

If you have to sneeze, try to stare at a bright light. It makes the sneeze go away. (I had a teacher, a really good teacher, that was a little crazy. He hated to hear people sneezing in class so he taught us this trick.)

[Thommy Melanson]

If you have to sneeze, try to stare at a bright light. It makes the sneeze go away. (I had a teacher, a really good teacher, that was a little crazy. He hated to hear people sneezing in class so he taught us this trick.)

"Go into the light!"

http://calbuth.free.fr/more/imgindex/q17/reuz/202agi.jpg

[bartleby]

If you have to sneeze, try to stare at a bright light. It makes the sneeze go away. (I had a teacher, a really good teacher, that was a little crazy. He hated to hear people sneezing in class so he taught us this trick.)

I suffer from Photic Sneeze Reflex (along with as much one out of every four humans), so staring at the sun would probably just cause me to sneeze.

[TheGibson]

No matter how good the commercial makes it look, Taco Bell's newest creation will taste like poo.

Grade "D" meat with carmel coloring will usually taste like poo.

[TheGibson]

After entering your post, you can press "Alt S" to post instead of clicking the button!!

This stopped working in my new version of Firefox!! Now it pulls up my History tab. Does it still work for you??

[TheGibson]

If you have to sneeze, try to stare at a bright light. It makes the sneeze go away. (I had a teacher, a really good teacher, that was a little crazy. He hated to hear people sneezing in class so he taught us this trick.)

Huh. I always look at the light to MAKE myself sneeze. My wife is the same way.

[sans serif]

Huh. I always look at the light to MAKE myself sneeze. My wife is the same way.

Same here.

[Foolish Mortal]

Want to reduce dust build-up on your tv-screen or monitor? Clean it with shaving foam. Dust won't build up nearly as fast.

Windshield's got a layer of ice on it? In a spray bottle, Mix 50% water with 50% Antifreeze and spray it on your windshield. It will help break up the ice fast.

[Humphrey_Lee]

Jenna Jameson wants to contribute...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-IS7i1YfoU&mode=related&search=