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Marcdachamp
09-25-2006, 07:56 PM
I'm a tad drunk, and "single". Totally unrelated, I assure you.

It's been coming for some time, and I'm sure it's for the best, but I'm drunk and a bit depressed. All along, I've felt this was for the best, but I do love this girl, and the idea that it could be over depresses me. We've had a lot of problems of late, but we've both avoided this. We both kind of agreed today that this was what we needed. We've broached this topic before, but every time ran back to one another, so who knows how long it will last?

I guess I'm ranting here, but that's pretty much what personal threads are for.

A.Huerta
09-25-2006, 07:57 PM
Go to a strip club with ur friends.

Humphrey_Lee
09-25-2006, 08:03 PM
I'm perpetually "on a break", so lemme give you some advice. Half gallons of Captain Morgan are only, like, $26. Three of those should get you thru a week. So really, for about $110 (adding in the price of Coke) you can get fucked up for an entire month and forget about women completely.

Yes, I understand I have a problem.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-25-2006, 08:04 PM
Good luck.

edit - I always found that marijuana has helped. :-D

SCOURGE
09-25-2006, 08:04 PM
Go to a strip club with ur friends.


As an effort to make her jealous? That could backfire--if she finds out that he rn off to a strip club right after the broke up one of two things could be true:

A. It could work. She could get jealous and want to get back together.
B. She could end up seeing him as a cold-hearted prick who has already moved on with his life.

Icaruss
09-25-2006, 08:04 PM
Well... don't get drunk all on your own.

Humphrey_Lee
09-25-2006, 08:06 PM
Well... don't get drunk all on your own.

That's a bold faced lie there sir...

Marcdachamp
09-25-2006, 08:06 PM
Good luck.

edit - I always found that marijuana has helped. :-D
Y'know I've never smoked? Before I dated her, it was because it seemed like a big deal, but for the last 2 years (the span we dated) it's been because she thinks it's horrible.

A.Huerta
09-25-2006, 08:07 PM
As an effort to make her jealous? That could backfire--if she finds out that he rn off to a strip club right after the broke up one of two things could be true:

A. It could work. She could get jealous and want to get back together.
B. She could end up seeing him as a cold-hearted prick who has already moved on with his life.


It has nothing to do with making her jealous. He needs to move on and get over it just incase things dont work out.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-25-2006, 08:19 PM
Y'know I've never smoked? Before I dated her, it was because it seemed like a big deal, but for the last 2 years (the span we dated) it's been because she thinks it's horrible.

It's difficult when you're dating to make certain decisions like that, because you're always concerned with what they may think, instead of really honestly making decisions on your own.

xanderharris
09-25-2006, 08:20 PM
get out, get drunk, repeat as needed.

Humphrey_Lee
09-25-2006, 08:24 PM
get out, get drunk, repeat as needed.

i.e., see my earlier advice. Seriously, I have this worked out to a science.

Marcdachamp
09-25-2006, 08:43 PM
Trust me, I'll do plenty of drinking. I'm just... unsure what I should do. We're not "broken up" yet, but part of me wants to go out and meet some people, maybe even get high.

WillieLee
09-25-2006, 08:55 PM
Trust me, I'll do plenty of drinking. I'm just... unsure what I should do. We're not "broken up" yet, but part of me wants to go out and meet some people, maybe even get high.

Do some heroin and you won't even care about her anymore.

Marcdachamp
09-25-2006, 08:58 PM
Do some heroin and you won't even care about her anymore.
That could cause morte problems than it's worth...:surrend:

WillieLee
09-25-2006, 08:59 PM
That could cause morte problems than it's worth...:surrend:

Come on man, just try a little. You can't get hooked the first time you use it. :shifty:

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-25-2006, 09:24 PM
Come on man, just try a little. You can't get hooked the first time you use it. :shifty:

Nor can you o.d.... :roll:

Marcdachamp
09-25-2006, 09:25 PM
Nor can you o.d.... :roll:
REALLY?

:roll:

LordKinbote
09-26-2006, 02:42 AM
Trust me, I'll do plenty of drinking. I'm just... unsure what I should do. We're not "broken up" yet, but part of me wants to go out and meet some people, maybe even get high.

I almost feel bad for saying this, but I've never met anyone who's gone on a break and then jumped back into the same relationship.

I've met people who have *broken up* and then have gone back out again. But "breaks" are for people in denial about a relationship being over.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 05:10 AM
I almost feel bad for saying this, but I've never met anyone who's gone on a break and then jumped back into the same relationship.

I've met people who have *broken up* and then have gone back out again. But "breaks" are for people in denial about a relationship being over.

I didn't want to be the one to say it... but, well, there it is.

DAVE
09-26-2006, 05:13 AM
I've actually seen pussy this week (this week, actually)*

About 3 years ago, my girlfriend and I went on a break. It was her sophmore year in college, and she was away in Michigan. We'd done the long distance thing her freshmen year and she thuoght it was for the best to take the break. I was devastated.
The break ended up lasting on and off for a couple of years- we'd visit one another and everything would be amazing, we'd spend the summers together, completely together and then when the trip would end we'd basically go back on the break. She ended up doing a semester in Florence too. We'd stil ltalk almost everyday.
Don't rush head long into strip clubs and stuff like that because emotionally that will become your crutch and you will depend on that to make you feel better, and you will end up feeling guilty and sleazey.
Take this opportunity to implement positive changes. When I first had my break I started dieting, running miles everyday and soon I lost 60 lbs. As I made progress with that I began partying. Smoking, drinking, the works.
You'll get used to the idea of making decisions based on what you alone want, and not as part of a couple.
In the end, I ended up having one of the best times in my life.
I finished my comic, and did a bunch of cons to promote it. Partied very hard.
We've been back together now for a couple of years, and live near one another. We were talking about the break the other day and both completely agree that the break was the best thing we could've done.
College in a long distance relationship would've put a strain on everything, and we'd of ended up resenting each other for things we've missed out on.
It's now brought us closer together.
Don't tie your self worth up in your relationship, don;t try to distract yourself from your pain because you're drinking now and it's only making it worse.
Deal with your pain and party with your friends. Have boys night out.
I know how you feel man.


*Edit, as per TheTravis!

Ben
09-26-2006, 06:13 AM
I almost feel bad for saying this, but I've never met anyone who's gone on a break and then jumped back into the same relationship.

I've met people who have *broken up* and then have gone back out again. But "breaks" are for people in denial about a relationship being over.http://www.myblog.fr/images/articles/img_12441_65522_7.jpg

Ben
09-26-2006, 06:15 AM
We've been back together now for a couple of years, and live near one another. We were talking about the break the other day and both completely agree that the break was the best thing we could've done. It doesn't kill you to think about all the guys she banged while you were "breaking" from each other? I'm not trying to be mean. It would drive me nuts.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:17 AM
It doesn't kill you to think about all the guys she banged while you were "breaking" from each other? I'm not trying to be mean. It would drive me nuts.

Thinking like that fuckin kills me. It usually ends up completely destroying all possibilities of getting back together, for me.

Race
09-26-2006, 06:20 AM
Just remember, whatever you do during the break will count against you if you get back together.

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:21 AM
It doesn't kill you to think about all the guys she banged while you were "breaking" from each other? I'm not trying to be mean. It would drive me nuts.
We had one ground rule in the break: Don't do anything to disrespect what we have together. Don't do anything to disrespect me, and for her not to do anything to disrespect herself (and vice versa). As long as we stayed true to that I have nothing to be angry about. If I'm going to be hung up about things in the past I have no business getting back into any type of relationship. It comes down to trust and confidence.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:21 AM
Just remember, whatever you do during the break will count against you if you get back together.

"We were on a BREAK!"

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:26 AM
Just remember, whatever you do during the break will count against you if you get back together.
Not necassarily true. We gave it some time and eventually told each other after we got back together. It ended up being pretty funny exchanging stories. Don't do this unless you're very secure in the relationship though.

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 06:28 AM
My best advice: Be careful of the advice you get from this board.

Race
09-26-2006, 06:29 AM
We had one ground rule in the break: Don't do anything to disrespect what we have together. Don't do anything to disrespect me, and for her not to do anything to disrespect herself (and vice versa).And that didn't include having sex with other people?

Huh.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:31 AM
My best advice: Be careful of the advice you get from this board.

Pssshhh. We're all certified relationship counselors.

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 06:36 AM
Pssshhh. We're all certified relationship counselors.

I just think it is ironic when people who haven't been laid in YEARS give someone else relationship advice.

It's like John Gotti telling me that speeding is a crime.

Taki Soma
09-26-2006, 06:37 AM
kit kat bar

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:38 AM
And that didn't include having sex with other people?

Huh.
We both didn't rule anything out. We were on a break afterall, and imposing rules forbiding things would basically defeat the purpose of the break.
In the end we both decided not have sex with anyone else though.
We decided this completely independant of one another. Like I said, it comes down to trust.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:39 AM
I just think it is ironic when people who haven't been laid in YEARS give someone else relationship advice.

It's like John Gotti telling me that speeding is a crime.

What about those of us in healthy relationships, then?
Should we clarify our positions before doling out advice...?

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:39 AM
My best advice: Be careful of the advice you get from this board.
I concur. That's why I chimed in to try to give alittle more insight then "go to strip clubs."

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 06:42 AM
What about those of us in healthy relationships, then?
Should we clarify our positions before doling out advice...?

Yes. Announce "I have actually seen pussy this year, and I think..." and then state your opinion.

Otherwise, everything you say is suspect to me. :)

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 06:43 AM
I concur. That's why I chimed in to try to give alittle more insight then "go to strip clubs."

I respect your advice, man, but you have to know how unusual your situation is/was. Usually "we're on a break" means "One of us is fucking somebody else, and the other one is in denial about it".

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:44 AM
Yes. Announce "I have actually seen pussy this year, and I think..." and then state your opinion.

Otherwise, everything you say is suspect to me. :)
i have to edit some posts.

lost in the flood
09-26-2006, 06:44 AM
breaks suck because a break in itself is such a nebulous thing. what the hell is a break anyway? make sure you know what your break really means and be prepared for the worst. then if it turns out well you won't be disappointed. it's all about low expectations :thumb:

good luck :)

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 06:45 AM
I concur. That's why I chimed in to try to give alittle more insight then "go to strip clubs."

I respect your advice, man, but you have to know how unusualy your situation is/was. Usually "we're on a break" means "One of us is fucking somebody else, and the other one is in denial about it".

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:46 AM
Yes. Announce "I have actually seen pussy this year, and I think..." and then state your opinion.

Otherwise, everything you say is suspect to me. :)

I'll just add into my sig "...and yes, I have seen a pussy recently - most likely today, in fact."

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:46 AM
I respect your advice, man, but you have to know how unusual your situation is/was. Usually "we're on a break" means "One of us is fucking somebody else, and the other one is in denial about it".
Oh absolutely. I understand. That was a concern for awhile. I agonized. But luckily we've got a great thing and at the end of the day I knew I could trust her.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 06:46 AM
I respect your advice, man, but you have to know how unusual your situation is/was. Usually "we're on a break" means "One of us is fucking somebody else, and the other one is in denial about it".

Bingo.

Ben
09-26-2006, 06:47 AM
I respect your advice, man, but you have to know how unusualy your situation is/was. Usually "we're on a break" means "One of us is fucking somebody else, and the other one is in denial about it".Or "one of us WANTS to fuck other people, since we're in college and all."

DAVE
09-26-2006, 06:48 AM
Or "one of us WANTS to fuck other people, since we're in college and all."
I think you may be projecting.

Race
09-26-2006, 06:53 AM
Yes. Announce "I have actually seen pussy this year, and I think..." and then state your opinion.

Otherwise, everything you say is suspect to me. :)Look, I can't help it if she likes to keep the lights off. I certainly felt it, though.

I sorta caught a glimpse of it in the glow of my shining pale white complexion.

Ben
09-26-2006, 07:39 AM
I think you may be projecting.Projecting the TRUTH! BAM!

DAVE
09-26-2006, 07:42 AM
Projecting the TRUTH! BAM!
Why I oughta.....!!!!!

TheTravis!
09-26-2006, 07:45 AM
Look, I can't help it if she likes to keep the lights off. I certainly felt it, though.

I sorta caught a glimpse of it in the glow of my shining pale white complexion.

Could you pick it out of a lineup?

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 09:58 AM
Well, first I wanna say how much I appreciate all the advice. Second, I won't be doing anything too stupid. Strip clubs and getting too drunk aren't on my agenda (well... some drinking I'm sure).

I don't doubt that this is the first step towards a full on break-up, but we have played ''make up break up" before, so it's hard to call. I know she isn't fucking other guys, but I think after such a long relationship, she's curious about what else is out there. I don't blame her, I am too. I had other relationships before her, but none that were ever as long lasting or as serious.

I'm just gonna take a few weeks to chill and see where it goes. Seeing someone else isn't entirely out of the question, but it's too soon.

DAVE
09-26-2006, 09:59 AM
Well, first I wanna say how much I appreciate all the advice. Second, I won't be doing anything too stupid. Strip clubs and getting too drunk aren't on my agenda (well... some drinking I'm sure).

I don't doubt that this is the first step towards a full on break-up, but we have played ''make up break up" before, so it's hard to call. I know she isn't fucking other guys, but I think after such a long relationship, she's curious about what else is out there. I don't blame her, I am too. I had other relationships before her, but none that were ever as long lasting or as serious.

I'm just gonna take a few weeks to chill and see where it goes. Seeing someone else isn't entirely out of the question, but it's too soon.
Sounds like a good approach to me man. Kepp on keepin' on.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 10:02 AM
Well, first I wanna say how much I appreciate all the advice. Second, I won't be doing anything too stupid. Strip clubs and getting too drunk aren't on my agenda (well... some drinking I'm sure).

I don't doubt that this is the first step towards a full on break-up, but we have played ''make up break up" before, so it's hard to call. I know she isn't fucking other guys, but I think after such a long relationship, she's curious about what else is out there. I don't blame her, I am too. I had other relationships before her, but none that were ever as long lasting or as serious.

I'm just gonna take a few weeks to chill and see where it goes. Seeing someone else isn't entirely out of the question, but it's too soon.

Out of curiosity, how long were you together?

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 10:03 AM
Out of curiosity, how long were you together?
2 years on September 14th.

Ben
09-26-2006, 10:13 AM
2 years on September 14th.How old are you?

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 10:15 AM
How old are you?
I turned 21 in July.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 10:23 AM
I turned 21 in July.

Huh. Talk about odd. At the age of 21 I had been dating a girl for two years when we decided to go our separate ways (ostensibly first as a break - but we both knew the real score).

Looking back, I am extremely happy that we did end it. I'm much happier now, though I was a bit of a wreck for awhile.

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 02:23 PM
Huh. Talk about odd. At the age of 21 I had been dating a girl for two years when we decided to go our separate ways (ostensibly first as a break - but we both knew the real score).

Looking back, I am extremely happy that we did end it. I'm much happier now, though I was a bit of a wreck for awhile.
Well, I'm kind of on a lack of sleep right now, and it isn't helping, but I'm doing ok. I think I'm desensitized towards the whole thing on account of the multiple "make up break ups" in the past. If this lasts, it'll probably hurt more in a couple days or so.

Ben
09-26-2006, 02:34 PM
I turned 21 in July.Seems like a good time to end your teenage relationship. Yeah, it feels horrible, but years down the line when you're older and with someone that's a much better match, you'll be happy about this break.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 02:35 PM
Well, I'm kind of on a lack of sleep right now, and it isn't helping, but I'm doing ok. I think I'm desensitized towards the whole thing on account of the multiple "make up break ups" in the past. If this lasts, it'll probably hurt more in a couple days or so.

Yeah, you're probably right. And you'll ask yourself, "what was the damned point of it all." But after awhile, it'll be alright, once you realize that if its so easy to do the "make-up, break-up" shit, maybe the relationship wasn't as healthy as you thought it was. It's much easier to see the problems in a relationship from the outside, sans love-goggles. It becomes more clear. It'll take some time, though.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-26-2006, 02:35 PM
Seems like a good time to end your teenage relationship. Yeah, it feels horrible, but years down the line when you're older and with somethign that's a much better match, you'll be happy about this break.

Exactly.

The Roman Candle
09-26-2006, 02:37 PM
Every time I've been "on a break" it turned into "broken up" real fast. So while my experience might not be typical, I'd prepare for the worst and get some bitches on your docket while you've still got your somewhat-taken appeal.

Ben
09-26-2006, 02:40 PM
Every time I've been "on a break" it turned into "broken up" real fast. So while my experience might not be typical, I'd prepare for the worst and get some bitches on your docket while you've still got your somewhat-taken appeal.And at 21, if the relationship is working that poorly that it requires a break, you're better off letting it end and see what relationships with other people are like (as you enter adulthood, when relationships get a lot better).

JMP
09-26-2006, 02:46 PM
Every time I've been "on a break" it turned into "broken up" real fast. So while my experience might not be typical, I'd prepare for the worst and get some bitches on your docket while you've still got your somewhat-taken appeal.

I think youre experience is typical, same thing happened to me at 22. Your early twenties is essentially a "new phase" in your life as well, it's a good time to do something like this. The worst thing you want to do is go to either extreme: either extreme debauchery or extreme "I'll just sit here quietly and wait for her to come back and if she doesn't I'll bug her all the time until she does" Both are horrible.

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 10:25 PM
Every time I've been "on a break" it turned into "broken up" real fast. So while my experience might not be typical, I'd prepare for the worst and get some bitches on your docket while you've still got your somewhat-taken appeal.
The sad thing is, I let 3 very appealing girls escape my grasp throughout the relationship. 2 might still be available, but one definitly isn't.

I just keep getting this feeling in my stomach. I'm worried about how she's doing. Yeah we need this, and we fight a lot, but I care deeply about her, and I know this is probably killing her, too. :sad:

Ben
09-26-2006, 11:02 PM
I just keep getting this feeling in my stomach. I'm worried about how she's doing. Yeah we need this, and we fight a lot, but I care deeply about her, and I know this is probably killing her, too. :sad:That's one of the worst feelings in the world. Like a hammer hitting your chest. But it does fade. I have no problem thinking about ex-girlfriends with other dudes now. Sometimes I even think about them with other dudes... on purpose...

Marcdachamp
09-26-2006, 11:28 PM
That's one of the worst feelings in the world. Like a hammer hitting your chest. But it does fade. I have no problem thinking about ex-girlfriends with other dudes now. Sometimes I even think about them with other dudes... on purpose...
It's not so much thinking about her with other guys. It's just concern, mostly.

Caley Tibbittz
09-26-2006, 11:29 PM
I'm perpetually "on a break", so lemme give you some advice. Half gallons of Captain Morgan are only, like, $26. Three of those should get you thru a week. So really, for about $110 (adding in the price of Coke) you can get fucked up for an entire month and forget about women completely.

Yes, I understand I have a problem.
Luckily, it's also a solution...

Marcdachamp
09-27-2006, 01:51 PM
She updated our Facebook staus to "complicated". I guess it had to happen, considering we're looking at seeing other people, just made me feel kind of weird.

Got a text from my ex today saying that she had a dream that my girlfriend and I broke up. That was really random. I haven't talked to her in a few weeks (texting does happen between us though), and the subject just kind of threw me.

Ben
09-27-2006, 02:13 PM
She updated our Facebook staus to "complicated". I guess it had to happen, considering we're looking at seeing other people, just made me feel kind of weird.

Got a text from my ex today saying that she had a dream that my girlfriend and I broke up. That was really random. I haven't talked to her in a few weeks (texting does happen between us though), and the subject just kind of threw me.Cut off communication and stop looking at her online profiles. Doing this will not prevent you from getting back together with her if that's what's decided, and if you don't end up getting back together, this constant contact will only make things harder. There's no point in a break if you're not actually taking a break from each other.

DAVE
09-27-2006, 02:42 PM
She updated our Facebook staus to "complicated". I guess it had to happen, considering we're looking at seeing other people, just made me feel kind of weird.

Got a text from my ex today saying that she had a dream that my girlfriend and I broke up. That was really random. I haven't talked to her in a few weeks (texting does happen between us though), and the subject just kind of threw me.
Yeah dude, for the sake of your sanity, stay away from her facebook myspace, whatever.

J. R. Scherer
09-27-2006, 02:47 PM
Cut off communication and stop looking at her online profiles. Doing this will not prevent you from getting back together with her if that's what's decided, and if you don't end up getting back together, this constant contact will only make things harder. There's no point in a break if you're not actually taking a break from each other.
I agree.

Don't pine. Start thinking about and doing other things. You can be a whole, happy person with having having a significant other.

Master Jack Rabbitt
09-27-2006, 03:03 PM
Yeah dude, for the sake of your sanity, stay away from her facebook myspace, whatever.

Agreed.

Marcdachamp
09-27-2006, 07:08 PM
She just called. Talked for about an hour. Got pretty much nowhere.

The Roman Candle
09-27-2006, 07:10 PM
I agree.

Don't pine. Start thinking about and doing other things. You can be a whole, happy person with having having a significant other.

Masturbation: It's what's after dinner. :cool: