Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[Ethan Van Sciver]

I think I meant to buy the original Tobe Hooper version, but accidentally got this one. The cover art was so simple: It didn't feature a sexy, blue-o-vision shot of Jessica Biel and whatever other hapless teen actors were in the recent, utterly panned version, and that's the kind of imagery I've been trained to focus away from. When I see blue-0-vision teenage faces, that means it's a sequel to I Know What You Did 8 Summers Ago, and my eye zips right past it. Instead, they beat me at my own game. The DVD looked like this:

http://badgerherald.com/artsetc/2004/12/14/texas_202.jpg

Under no circumstances could this be a terrible remake with repulsive Hollywood teeners. The slipped it right under my radar.

Anyhow, I discovered my error when I got home, but decided to keep it anyhow. My wife likes this stuff, usually. I might be entertained.

I dare you to watch ten minutes of this. It is truly the most degrading, evil, sickening stupid movie I've ever seen the first nine minutes of. I shut it off when the guy from Six Feet Under, who is driving a VW bus which has an interior the likes of which I haven't seen since Katie Couric's public colonoscopy, turns to his friend and say, "How are you the expert on stupid shit?"

His friend had just quoted some statistics on the environment or something, I don't remember. But again, "How are you the expert on stupid shit?" A word is missing from that sentence. At least one. I don't know. But I immediately knew that the movie wasn't for me. Before this, we watched a couple making out in the back seat of the very same VW bus, and the girl stops sucking this filthy, hippie monkey's tongue long enough to slobber, "Jes' think! I didden even know yuh yesderday!" Bleh! Watching people suck face in their own excrement is absolutely terrible. I vomited from a reclined position, and my vomit actually cleared the length of the bed.

Anyhow, I didn't need to finish the movie. I trust that the Ed Gein character murdered and cannibalized them all. I pray that he did.

[The Jack Rabbitt]

Y'know, I bought this a while ago for dirt cheap (at like WalMart or something). And its just been sitting on my shelf ever since. Never did get around to watching it. and I'm not really sure I ever will.

[Rich Lozano]

i vaguly remember the original. this one was okay. worth seeing once at least. not worth buying

[JABSEN]

eh, I thought it was decent.

[Taki Soma]

only thing I remember (I saw it in the theater :mad:) is that I was hacking up my lungs and annoyed people.

very memorable :roll:

[Rich Lozano]

there r some intese moments

[BronxRonin]

only thing I remember (I saw it in the theater :mad:) is that I was hacking up my lungs and annoyed people.

very memorable :roll:
was that you?:mad:

[Taki Soma]

was that you?:mad:
hey, I left for a while because I couldn't control it.

that was the time I cracked my rib from coughing :shock:

[WillieLee]

I'm with EVS on this one, the remake was idiotic.

[Sully7625]

I just saw that they are coming out with a movie called texas chainsaw massacre: the beginning.
Are they totally out of ideas for movies?

[Skatonic10]

So... I'm guessing this means your not going to see the prequel coming out in a few weeks?

[Ethan Van Sciver]

So... I'm guessing this means your not going to see the prequel coming out in a few weeks?

I'll see it on dvd. I'll watch almost anything, or at least, I'll try to. This movie was absolutely despicable though. Really, really bad.

[Vasily Zaitsev]

This movie does have one very cathartic (sp?) moment at the end that does somewhat redeem the awfulness of the rest of the movie.

[kylethoreau]

I liked it.. it's certainly better than alot of remakes of late

and I want that new boxed set from NECA:twisted:

[joeAR]

I went going into the theatre ready to hate it but ended up loving every minute of it.

[jmwilly]

I thought the remake was despicable. The prequel looks like a remake of the remake. That doesn't mean I won't see it, though. I'll watch just about anything at the drive-in with a couple of beers.

[Merrik]

I went going into the theatre ready to hate it but ended up loving every minute of it.

Ditto. I was so prepared to despise it (the original is one of my favorite horror films of all time, so I was bitter it was being remade in the first place and the inclusion of Jessica Biel completely left me cold) but walked away loving it. I think it's leagues above 90% of the other horror remakes from the past 5 years or so. Let's discuss The Fog remake and then we'll get to see me spew venom and foam at the mouth.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Sam's Club had the special 2-disc edition of this on sale for $4.88.

I bought it purely on principle, even though this film is hilariously bad.

[Ed Crane]

I agree, terrible fuckin' movie. As a horror fan, I expect at least one of three things from a fright flick: genuine scares, stomach churning gore, or some endearing campiness. This film delivered none of those things. Therefore, it is excrement.

[Keith P.]

It was ok.

I actually saw this in a Bath house of all places, and it was eminently preferable to the alternative of the sex crazed midget that was stalking me.

[costello]

So I just used Direct TV to read where the reviews of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre were coming from. Some were quotes from Mr. Disgusting at Bloodydisgusting.com. Funny. It isn't even a real website.

[ManOfMiracles]

I thought the movie was alright, I just hated the complete turnaround of the lead character. In The original, The girl was a wreck mentally by the time the movie was over, but in the remake she was all gung-ho (with an emphasis on ho) But anyway, it still had a few good scenes, like the chainsaw taking that guys leg off in the back yard, and when Biel's characteh chopped Leatherface's arm off. Good times right there.
I can only hope the prequel is better.

[dave g]

I saw the prequel last night, thanks to my LCS giving away some free tickets. All I can say is thank god it was free, it was waaay worse than the remake. I must admit it had one or two entertaining scenes, but the characters were really bland, and certain parts dragged on and on and on.

I'd give it a 3.5/10 based on some moderately entertaining gore

[Brandon191]

I've never seen it, but I've been wanting to for a while. Maybe I'll rent it for Halloween.

[Adam Geen]

Guess I'm in the minority, I loved it. And saw the prequel last night.

Eh, what can you do?

[Bedlam66]

It was ok.

I actually saw this in a Bath house of all places, and it was eminently preferable to the alternative of the sex crazed midget that was stalking me.
There are SO MANY things worng with that, that I don't even know where to start.

[joshdahl]

If there had never been an original...this one would be passable teenaged gore-sploitation.
It is a bad idea to force comparison to such a brilliant movie, it make sit hard to come out on top.
Some producer decided that if they can't match the class of the original, just turn EVERYTHING up two notches.
Bad move.

Honestly, it feels almost like a fan-fic. You know, someone trying to ape the basic motifs of the source material while having no understanding of what it is the are copying.

Josh Dahl

[CyberGhostface]

So I just used Direct TV to read where the reviews of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre were coming from. Some were quotes from Mr. Disgusting at Bloodydisgusting.com. Funny. It isn't even a real website.
That might have something to do with the fact that you typed it in wrong.
http://bloody-disgusting.com/review/496

And if you can only watch a film for nine minutes and you have to shut it off because of some teenagers making out, then its a good thing you didn't watch the rest of the film because it would have been probably too much for you to handle.

[MarkChatman]

I saw it this weekend; it was passable but worn IMO.