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View Full Version : I believe in creationism, and so should you.



batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 06:41 PM
Really. Why wouldn't you? It makes 10 times more sense than evolution. read below:


Most of us, infact the great majority of us, can't prove God exists. Hell, we can't prove that we came from other species. sure, SCIENTISTS can, but can you? Did you go in your back yard and test your DNA to see what monkey you came from? No. so in that respect, you can't prove evolution just as much as you can't prove God exists.


So why believe in one but not the other? Lets find out.


Evolution: we came from some sort of organism either of this planet or from outer space. shit happens somewhat randomly, and life passes. Your existence lasts from when you are born to when you die, and whalla, you're done. OH HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO THINK THAT!


Creationism: There's this all powerful being that made you, like, superman, but 10X stronger. Awesome. God created the heavens and the earth, AND dinosaurs 6000 years ago. that's right. 6000 years ago humans AND dinosaurs lived together. Fucking sweet. That means moses rode around on a tricerotops while the pharoh pimped his fucking t-rex. we've seen dinosaur movies, triceritops vs. t-rex is always the best.

So God creates us and one day he goes to someone, hey it could be you, "You need to kill Satan in my name, here's a freaking giant fiery sword" FUCKING SHIT YEAH! so not only MIGHT you kill Satan and save the universe, but you can do it with a fiery sword and probably some swank ass shield. know what? you get to live forever in heaven after that! and you can probably fly in heaven, right? cause it's heaven. shit, you want to be wolverine in heaven, you think God won't let you? you just killed satan, he'll let you do whatever the fuck you want! except sex. but they say flying is like sex, so i'd fly everywhere.


and that's why evolution sucks and does not exist and why creationism rocks and needs to be taught in public restrooms.

Brian Defferding
08-22-2006, 06:48 PM
Yes.

Ray G.
08-22-2006, 06:49 PM
:rofl:

Now I want a pet T-Rex. :(

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 06:50 PM
seriously, you need to think which one will affect your life? NEITHER. which one is more fun to believe in? YOU KNOW IT!

Ryan F
08-22-2006, 06:55 PM
I'm convinced.

I'm born again!

Brad N.
08-22-2006, 06:58 PM
I'll never forget that Tina Fey line about how 35% of Americans think Adam and Eve rode their dinosaurs to church. I really want a pet pterodactyl, though.

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:01 PM
I'll never forget that Tina Fey line about how 35% of Americans think Adam and Eve rode their dinosaurs to church. I really want a pet pterodactyl, though.


now we got it! want to be a priest in my church?

Ben
08-22-2006, 07:08 PM
Actually, there was some evidence published in Nature a couple weeks ago suggesting that most humans and some species of dogs and cats get to fight Satan after death.

BronxRonin
08-22-2006, 07:10 PM
now we got it! want to be a priest in my church?
Dude, i have to ask you about your avatar with the guy holding the little girl.What is it?

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:10 PM
Actually, there was some evidence published in Nature a couple weeks ago suggesting that most humans and some species of dogs and cats get to fight Satan after death.



and i bet you you can fly and shoot lasers and shit!

jenifu
08-22-2006, 07:10 PM
now we got it! want to be a priest in my church?

wait.
are you promising prehistoric pets to converts?
because if that's the case, i'm on that shit like a fat kid on cake.

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:12 PM
wait.
are you promising prehistoric pets to converts?
because if that's the case, i'm on that shit like a fat kid on cake.


you just need to BELIEVE!

and put on this....headband...


and put this tab below that headband....


NOW LETS ROCK OUT!

Ben
08-22-2006, 07:23 PM
and i bet you you can fly and shoot lasers and shit!That's difficult to test, but I could probably pull it off with more taxpayer-funded grant money.

Keith P.
08-22-2006, 07:32 PM
wait.
are you promising prehistoric pets to converts?
because if that's the case, i'm on that shit like a fat kid on cake.


And if you actually enter into the clergy, you get a jetpack.

BronxRonin
08-22-2006, 07:39 PM
Quickly before i take a shower...in may i went to DC and while i was in the Smithsonian I overheard a father and son chatting.We were in a exhibit in which dinosaurs were displayed.The father a good christian that he was was telling his son that if it ain't in the bible it wasn't real.Refering to the bones of the dinosaurs he said these things are made by man...this is the devil's work.These bones and dinosaurs were never in the bible so these are lies.I respect the man's beliefs but totally disagree...i wanted to tell him yeah man the big mac i eat today wasn't real either.Wasn't in the Bible so i guess i don't have to worry about the fat or calories.:)

jenifu
08-22-2006, 07:42 PM
And if you actually enter into the clergy, you get a jetpack.

do i have to give up sex?
(ceiling cat has already ruined masturbation, so that'd be a dealbreaker.)

Pat Loika
08-22-2006, 07:43 PM
And if you actually enter into the clergy, you get a jetpack.

Fuck. My mom was going to send me there at one point.

P.

Keith P.
08-22-2006, 07:44 PM
do i have to give up sex?
(ceiling cat has already ruined masturbation, so that'd be a dealbreaker.)


Not if you join the religion I'm starting.

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:46 PM
Not if you join the religion I'm starting.


ceiling cat actually helps me get off.

jenifu
08-22-2006, 07:46 PM
Not if you join the religion I'm starting.

i'm intrigued.


is there...cake?
*raises eyebrow*

SEXY cake?

Keith P.
08-22-2006, 07:47 PM
i'm intrigued.


is there...cake?
*raises eyebrow*

SEXY cake?

Sexy cheesecake. Made my my grandma. And she's Jewish.

Kody
08-22-2006, 07:48 PM
Evolution of life, and creation of life are not the same thing. The equation would be creationism vs primordial ooze,

...not the Theory of Evolution.

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:48 PM
Evolution of life, and creation of life are not the same thing. The equation would be creationism vs primordial ooze,

...not the Theory of Evolution.



HEATHEN!

jenifu
08-22-2006, 07:52 PM
Sexy cheesecake. Made my my grandma. And she's Jewish.

i'm in.
what the fuck is a fat girl going to do with a damned dino-pet anyway???

after gert, my heart is all in pieces about it anyway. it can only come to a bad end.

i have to go with the whole 'know thyself' thing.
and man, i know cheesecake.

and sex.

am i ordained yet?!?

batmanbooyah
08-22-2006, 07:53 PM
i'm in.
what the fuck is a fat girl going to do with a damned dino-pet anyway???



seriously? are you serious? its a frikin dinosaur! A FREAKIN DINOSAUR! IM BEING CEREAL HERE!

innocentboy
08-22-2006, 08:52 PM
*edit*
you seen it, you seen it,
you didn't, you didn't.
but shit's good, eh? :)
*/edit*

stubbycheeto
08-23-2006, 06:47 PM
...Monkey? Apes? I evolved from a fuckin' Chicken.

ya hear?!

UltimateQuintessa
08-23-2006, 06:48 PM
This thread offends me as a Christian. So knock it off.

Ben
08-23-2006, 06:50 PM
This thread offends me as a Christian. So knock it off.Forgive him.

batmanbooyah
08-23-2006, 06:55 PM
This thread offends me as a Christian. So knock it off.



want a brontosaurus?

Hate_Prime
08-23-2006, 06:57 PM
Evolution of life, and creation of life are not the same thing. The equation would be creationism vs primordial ooze,

...not the Theory of Evolution.

You mean abiogenesis.

Also, what if I don't want to fight Satan? He's a victim of hateful propaganda. Satan is all about rock n roll and good times.

I

Ben
08-23-2006, 06:58 PM
You mean abiogenesis.

Also, what if I don't want to fight Satan? He's a victim of hateful propaganda. Satan is all about rock n roll and good times.

IHe was the coolest of all the angels. They all wanted to fuck him... except God...

batmanbooyah
08-23-2006, 06:58 PM
You mean abiogenesis.

Also, what if I don't want to fight Satan? He's a victim of hateful propaganda. Satan is all about rock n roll and good times.

I



whoa, this is even more mind bending than what i said. maybe you can fight with satan? then you get like, an icey sword?

Hate_Prime
08-23-2006, 07:17 PM
If evolution = Satan, then maybe it's not so lame after all.

Mr. E!
08-23-2006, 07:21 PM
Quickly before i take a shower...in may i went to DC and while i was in the Smithsonian I overheard a father and son chatting.We were in a exhibit in which dinosaurs were displayed.The father a good christian that he was was telling his son that if it ain't in the bible it wasn't real.Refering to the bones of the dinosaurs he said these things are made by man...this is the devil's work.These bones and dinosaurs were never in the bible so these are lies.I respect the man's beliefs but totally disagree...i wanted to tell him yeah man the big mac i eat today wasn't real either.Wasn't in the Bible so i guess i don't have to worry about the fat or calories.:)
Ya know, on 30 Days a few weeks ago, they had an atheist move in the a fundie family. One of the vingettes they showed was of a man who gives creationist-based tours of natural history museums, that sound very much like what you overheard, only in groups with lots of kids.

Scott Chantler
08-23-2006, 08:26 PM
and whalla, you're done.

What the hell is a "whalla?"

batmanbooyah
08-23-2006, 08:57 PM
What the hell is a "whalla?"



its a derivative of a bing bang.

Ben
08-23-2006, 09:16 PM
its a derivative of a bing bang.So it's made up by liars who just want more grant money that they can use to make up more lies?

FedEx Fanboy
08-23-2006, 09:18 PM
Really. Why wouldn't you? It makes 10 times more sense than evolution. read below:


Most of us, infact the great majority of us, can't prove God exists. Hell, we can't prove that we came from other species. sure, SCIENTISTS can, but can you? Did you go in your back yard and test your DNA to see what monkey you came from? No. so in that respect, you can't prove evolution just as much as you can't prove God exists.


So why believe in one but not the other? Lets find out.


Evolution: we came from some sort of organism either of this planet or from outer space. shit happens somewhat randomly, and life passes. Your existence lasts from when you are born to when you die, and whalla, you're done. OH HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO THINK THAT!


Creationism: There's this all powerful being that made you, like, superman, but 10X stronger. Awesome. God created the heavens and the earth, AND dinosaurs 6000 years ago. that's right. 6000 years ago humans AND dinosaurs lived together. Fucking sweet. That means moses rode around on a tricerotops while the pharoh pimped his fucking t-rex. we've seen dinosaur movies, triceritops vs. t-rex is always the best.

So God creates us and one day he goes to someone, hey it could be you, "You need to kill Satan in my name, here's a freaking giant fiery sword" FUCKING SHIT YEAH! so not only MIGHT you kill Satan and save the universe, but you can do it with a fiery sword and probably some swank ass shield. know what? you get to live forever in heaven after that! and you can probably fly in heaven, right? cause it's heaven. shit, you want to be wolverine in heaven, you think God won't let you? you just killed satan, he'll let you do whatever the fuck you want! except sex. but they say flying is like sex, so i'd fly everywhere.


and that's why evolution sucks and does not exist and why creationism rocks and needs to be taught in public restrooms.

WORST THREAD EVER.

Ben
08-23-2006, 09:19 PM
WORST THREAD EVER.That's teh point (of life)!