PDA

View Full Version : The Official Never Ever Ever Ever EVER Having a Baby Thread



WinterRose
08-21-2006, 10:51 AM
And no this isn't meant to be mean or insulting to the folks that WANT to have kids. More power to ya. I've got a godson in Seattle as a matter of fact. That said... Me and Macha's have talked about it rather frequently. She likes little kids, works with them professionally, wants to help them get out of abusive situations, and that's about all the kids she wants in her life.

Me? I don't consider that I've REALLY lived yet. There's WAY too much I want to see and experience that having a kid would put beyond my reach. Having a kid constitutes a commitment to sacrifice every damn thing in my life to make sure that kid gets raised right. I don't consider that I've really gotten a chance to live and see the world to my satisfaction yet. Nor do I think I ever will. So I'm unwilling to sacrifice all that opportunity for the ultimate responsibility. (I can't even afford to house and feed myself at the moment. Nevermind a kid.)

Are there others among you that feel no desire to add another life to the world?

LordKinbote
08-21-2006, 10:53 AM
Me? I don't consider that I've REALLY lived yet. There's WAY too much I want to see and experience that having a kid would put beyond my reach. Having a kid constitutes a commitment to sacrifice every damn thing in my life to make sure that kid gets raised right. I don't consider that I've really gotten a chance to live and see the world to my satisfaction yet. Nor do I think I ever will. So I'm unwilling to sacrifice all that opportunity for the ultimate responsibility. (I can't even afford to house and feed myself at the moment. Nevermind a kid.)

I'm sure some on the board would argue that you haven't really lived *until* you've had a kid.

Race
08-21-2006, 10:56 AM
So you're an anti-breeder?

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 10:57 AM
I'm sure some on the board would argue that you haven't really lived *until* you've had a kid.

I'm sure they might. However, you can't UN-have a kid. Therefore, you do all the stuff you can't do WITH a kid first if it's your intention to DO that stuff. Life's too short to be able to do the kid thing THEN do that stuff. One path tends to eliminate the other, from my own viewpoint.

Gregory
08-21-2006, 10:57 AM
You won't have a kid. You'll BUILD a kid.

KingMob
08-21-2006, 11:00 AM
You won't have a kid. You'll BUILD a kid.

out of hamburger!

Ethan Van Sciver
08-21-2006, 11:00 AM
Well, by all means, don't reproduce if you feel that way. But I promise you, if and when you do decide to have a kid, you'll realize how trivial your life was before, and how much better it is now that you're a dad.

Plus, your deathbed will be lonely without some children and grandchildren to hold hands with.

Ben
08-21-2006, 11:01 AM
I'm sure some on the board would argue that you haven't really lived *until* you've had a kid.And it's amazing how they've all tricked themselves into believing this.

Personally, I'd love to have a child, but I can't see myself being that willing to give up that much time to raising it. I enjoy reading comics and taking naps and having sex when I want to and just having plenty of free time too much to give it up.

Ray G.
08-21-2006, 11:01 AM
My attitude is "never say never". I'm not sure I want kids right now, but I'm not going to run out and get a vasectomy. But I won't question your choice. You seem to have thought it out pretty damn well.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:02 AM
So you're an anti-breeder?

Well, I do think as a society we could stand to not try for a gross amount of kids per nuclear unit. But I'm not gonna say don't have em if you want em. The only time I tend to get anti breeder is when I see people having 6 kids when they had no business even having 1. The sort that beat the shit out of them, rape them, can't feed them, don't give a shit about them after they're older than the age of three...

I wouldn't say I was Anti-Breeder. I'm Pro-nonprocreationist. I'd say they're rather discriminated against in our society today.

costello
08-21-2006, 11:03 AM
I agree with you. I'm just not ready yet. If it happens it happens and I'm sure I'll man up to the task. As of right now... give me three years and then we'll talk.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:03 AM
You won't have a kid. You'll BUILD a kid.

If we become sufficiently advanced enough as a race to be able to build our progeny? I'll build me a replacement body and continue with my own lifespan. :D

King of Mars
08-21-2006, 11:04 AM
Well, by all means, don't reproduce if you feel that way. But I promise you, if and when you do decide to have a kid, you'll realize how trivial your life was before, and how much better it is now that you're a dad.


All parents say that, and I'm sure that they DO love their children, but there are certainly a fair number of them who don't back up that talk with a lot of enthusiam for parenting. It really is a trap for some.

T-Dro
08-21-2006, 11:04 AM
Having a kid constitutes a commitment to sacrifice every damn thing in my life to make sure that kid gets raised right.

See, I feel the same way. Not saying it will NEVER happen, but I know that once I have a child, my entire life will be about them.

Sadly, I see people every day who already have kids and don't feel this way.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:07 AM
Well, by all means, don't reproduce if you feel that way. But I promise you, if and when you do decide to have a kid, you'll realize how trivial your life was before, and how much better it is now that you're a dad.

Plus, your deathbed will be lonely without some children and grandchildren to hold hands with.

I don't feel that my life is trivial now. I don't think it ever has been. As for my deathbed... if I can't outrun death, I think I'd rather have what Jim Morrison called a 'feast of friends' to send me on my way. Having kids just to ensure someone to hold my hand as I slip into the light seems a little self centered to me.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:09 AM
My attitude is "never say never". I'm not sure I want kids right now, but I'm not going to run out and get a vasectomy. But I won't question your choice. You seem to have thought it out pretty damn well.

Why thanks, Ray! Actually, if I had the money, I'd go right out and get me a vasectomy right now. It'd save us some money on condoms, that's for sure. That and stopping to put one on can really interrupt the flow of events sometimes.

GelfXIII
08-21-2006, 11:13 AM
My lady and I have pretty much passed the ages where we feel we would want to have any children (I'm 42, she's... older than me :D) We used to talk about it occasionally, but we never really wanted to breed anyway. Plus I have grave misgivings about both of our gene pools. :D

ClintP
08-21-2006, 11:15 AM
I'm sure they might. However, you can't UN-have a kid. Therefore, you do all the stuff you can't do WITH a kid first if it's your intention to DO that stuff. Life's too short to be able to do the kid thing THEN do that stuff. One path tends to eliminate the other, from my own viewpoint.
Get a babysitter? That's what the grandparents are for!

Ben
08-21-2006, 11:18 AM
If I ever did have kids, I'd probably adopt. I wouldn't want to ruin my wife's body or vagina. I'm not kidding here either.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:35 AM
Get a babysitter? That's what the grandparents are for!Now to me, that's cheating and unfair to the kid. The kid, if you have one, deserves his or her parents as a given. Besides, my mom's got enough on her plate.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 11:36 AM
If I ever did have kids, I'd probably adopt. I wouldn't want to ruin my wife's body or vagina. I'm not kidding here either.

Right the hell on! More kids need adopting nowadays!

T-Dro
08-21-2006, 11:43 AM
Right the hell on! More kids need adopting nowadays!

My husband and I are about 95% sure that if we do have kids, we'll adopt.

That's if we have kids at all...and right now the two cats are about all we can handle.

And you can't leave a two-year-old unattended for the weekend while you go to a comic book convention, as you can with cats.

King of Mars
08-21-2006, 11:45 AM
I don't feel that my life is trivial now. I don't think it ever has been. As for my deathbed... if I can't outrun death, I think I'd rather have what Jim Morrison called a 'feast of friends' to send me on my way. Having kids just to ensure someone to hold my hand as I slip into the light seems a little self centered to me.I think that simply choosing to have kids is sort of self-centered. Being a parent is often made out to be a noble thing that involves a lot of self-sacrifice and, with many parents, that's very true. However, the roots of the desire to reproduce lie in self-gratification. Not a problem, really, when capable parents have children under conditions that allow them to "give something back" to their kids. However, it often becomes a problem when the need for self-gratification outweighs someone's ability to provide for a child. Way too many people enter into it without considering the financial and emotional burdens it will place on them. You're wise to put so much thought into it.

Hate_Prime
08-21-2006, 11:47 AM
I have no plans to be a dad ever. If someday I come to a lot of cash and am tired of all the other stuff I can do with the cash and suddenly decide to raise a child, I'm adopting. My genes suck anyway.

dougmac
08-21-2006, 11:58 AM
Having my daughter in my life is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me by such a huge margin of distance over anything else that has ever happened to me. It's not for everybody, and you're better off realizing that before its too late, but being a dad feels better than anything in the world to me.

RegularJoe
08-21-2006, 12:07 PM
i have identical stances on both marriage and kids: if it happens, great. grand. if it doesn't, great. grand. happiness cannot, and will not, hinge on those things.

RebootedCorpse
08-21-2006, 12:07 PM
My wife and I felt that way. But now we have two planned children.
Most people change their minds, but not all.

mario
08-21-2006, 12:36 PM
If I ever did have kids, I'd probably adopt. I wouldn't want to ruin my wife's body or vagina. I'm not kidding here either.

a baby doesn't ruin anyone's body. she'll never notice it and love it, trust me!

John Drake
08-21-2006, 12:47 PM
No kids for me. Of course I won't say "ever", but no I don't want kids.

Love animals, though.

Brian Defferding
08-21-2006, 12:47 PM
I never could see myself as a father nor finding joy in being a father. I once dated a girl with a 2-year-old son for 8 months. During our relationship, I attempted to get accustomed to doing things that dads do; and assumed some parental roles. After our relationship ended, I can look back with reassurance that I do not want to have a child. It’s just not for me.

Being an UNCLE, however, fucking rocks like socks.

EDIT: I want to add that just because I don't want to be a dad doesn't mean I don't like children. I love children.

WinterRose
08-21-2006, 01:07 PM
My husband and I are about 95% sure that if we do have kids, we'll adopt.

That's if we have kids at all...and right now the two cats are about all we can handle.

And you can't leave a two-year-old unattended for the weekend while you go to a comic book convention, as you can with cats.

To you I give... SUMOMO CALISTHENICS!!

http://www.p-synd.com/winterrose/sumomo.gif

T-Dro
08-21-2006, 01:09 PM
To you I give... SUMOMO CALISTHENICS!!

http://www.p-synd.com/winterrose/sumomo.gif

EEK! How cute is that!

I am often accused of being too Sumomo-like - pink, hyper & annoying, especially first thing in the morning!

Macha's Rook
08-21-2006, 02:37 PM
You won't have a kid. You'll BUILD a kid.

Man, you don't know how accurate that is.

greg donovan
08-21-2006, 04:36 PM
Having my daughter in my life is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me by such a huge margin of distance over anything else that has ever happened to me. It's not for everybody, and you're better off realizing that before its too late, but being a dad feels better than anything in the world to me.

this is exactly how i feel about my daughters.

my top 5 events in my life in no particular order:

the birth of my children (counts as 2)
meeting my wife
marrying my wife
navigating a rally car

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
08-21-2006, 04:38 PM
I don't want kids right now. I'm not done being a boy. I couldn't handle it. there are also some health issues that i have to think about before I do. And I'll think about them fo awhile. I won't just recklessly bring a child into this world.

RODGER
08-21-2006, 05:00 PM
i never plan on having kids.
i'm thinking of getting fixed....

Donal DeLay
08-21-2006, 05:03 PM
If I ever did have kids, I'd probably adopt. I wouldn't want to ruin my wife's body or vagina. I'm not kidding here either. :mistrust:

As for Donnie and I, we are enjoying just being together right now, connecting as a couple before bringing a child into the world. We would like to have children one day, but right now we are both working crazy schedules and trying to get ahead in the world so that we can provide for a child. If it happens now, then we'll find a way, but we aren't exactly planning on it. Maybe in five years or so.

Related news: My best friend just called to tell me that a couple that are mutual friends of ours are having a baby in October! Yay.

-Kimberly

Meteornotes
08-22-2006, 05:31 AM
I never wanted to have kids or be a parent. I guess I was born without the "parenting gene" or whatever, as I just never had any interest in the whole process. Mary is the same way. It's not that we hate kids or anything, but I don't think either one of us understands what were supposed to do with them.

I think we'll stick to cats and dogs.

dt

stevapalooza
08-22-2006, 07:06 AM
I like the idea of having kids, but then I think of the day-to-day reality of it and how much work and effort it takes and I realize that I'm way too selfish to give up everything that you have to give up to raise a kid.

Shane W
08-22-2006, 07:22 AM
No children for me thank you.

KingMob
08-22-2006, 08:49 AM
No children for me thank you.

thank god.

Shane W
08-22-2006, 08:50 AM
thank god.

He had nothing to do with it, you should thank me instead.

RebootedCorpse
08-22-2006, 08:51 AM
thank god.
http://mishilo.image.pbase.com/u13/cmnoa/upload/42525711.pwned.jpg