instant video game reviews

[dave finch]

Jade Empire: Sucked.

God of War: Sucked.

There, I feel better. To hell with every fanboy reviewer out there that loves games with a million stupid button combinations, and fighting styles. Meanwhile, I'm getting killed over and over again on the first level of Jade Empire. The frigging enemies are blocking half my shit ON THE FIRST FUCKING LEVEL. It's just not fun for me, these types of games. I think I'm going to find a cheat that makes me invincible and try again. I like the role playing aspects, but I hate overly challenging button mashing games. That's why gun games are good. No matter what gun you get, it's always the same button. You don't have to hit X and rotate the stick, and blah blah blah... These games need to be stopped.

[dave finch]

....I just looked. There are no useful cheats out there, unless it's some kind of help to me to have someone tell me what to do in the game to unlock an asshole alternate ending. I hate video games right now.

[Quackenbush]

Finally someone who agrees with me! I can't stand games that require me to think too much about an attack. Plus it doesn't help that I've got stubby fingers, so I need like a dialing wand ala Homer when he became 600 pounds. Give me shooters or RPG's and I'm golden.

[JABSEN]

God bless ya Finch

[Marcdachamp]

Go play Gamecube, David. You'll feel better. :cool:

[Jason Truong]

Lego Star Wars is where it's at! As for me, I'm playing Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition. Chillin game, not bad, but not a great game. Fun for the time being.

[Anjin]

I just finished Jade Empire last night. You might try to dial the difficulty down to Student level.

[dave finch]

!!! I totally missed that! Hehe, I'll definately give it a try then. I just wish that you'd hit people, and they'd fall over dead, and they'd never hit you back. Is that so wrong? There's no love for people that love games, but just kind of suck at them. Thanks Anjin, I think you may have rescued my game.

And I'm trading the other one in for Dub Edition...I saw it at the store, and I should have gotten it. I'm a bit sick of racing games, but I love to customize stuff. You know what I'm looking forward to? A game with the customization level of a Dub Edition, graphics that are that strong, and a physics engine that good, but in an open game like GTA. I think I'm really pining for the Playstation 3 GTA. Sigh. Oh, and I'm going to get the Lego Star Wars! I read the review for that, and wanted to get it, but totally forgot about it!

To be honest, I gave my GameCube to my niece and nephew last year. There was just nothing on it that I wanted to play at all. I think I like PC games the best, but it really is getting to the point where I think that games need to go somewhere new. Or at least do what GTA did, and seamlessly incorporate a lot of styles into a larger experience. I'd love a GTA in a futuristic Syd Mead setting....

[Marcdachamp]

David, David... Resident Evil 4. Go play it. I GUARANTEE it is one of the best games you'll ever play.

[dave finch]

Oh, I know...I know.

I would absolutely get Resident Evil 4 if I had a game cube. I'm actually really kind of bummed that I can't play it. I just can't justify getting the system for one great game. You never know though...I may still crack.

[Jason Truong]

And I'm trading the other one in for Dub Edition...I saw it at the store, and I should have gotten it. I'm a bit sick of racing games, but I love to customize stuff. You know what I'm looking forward to? A game with the customization level of a Dub Edition, graphics that are that strong, and a physics engine that good, but in an open game like GTA. I think I'm really pining for the Playstation 3 GTA. Sigh. Oh, and I'm going to get the Lego Star Wars! I read the review for that, and wanted to get it, but totally forgot about it!

The one downside I found with DUB is that when you race in rain, the frame rate slows down significantly... the race becomes really, really slow. Aside from that, not too bad... maps aren't that big, compared to how GTA: VC, or GTA: SA are.

As for Lego Star Wars... that game is for shits and giggles... man, I just love hacking Jar Jar with a lightsaber.

[Shawn_Kehoe]

Oh, I know...I know.

I would absolutely get Resident Evil 4 if I had a game cube. I'm actually really kind of bummed that I can't play it. I just can't justify getting the system for one great game. You never know though...I may still crack.

Although I hate to discourage the purchase of a Gamecube, under any circumstances ... Resident Evil 4 is being ported to the PS2 this Christmas. Since you seem to hate God of War, I'm guessing you have access to one. :)

Shawn

[dave finch]

The thing is though, GTAzn, I'm pretty much in it for the licenced cars, and the upgrading....if some of the racing suffers, I'm kind of ok with that. I just stopped playing Gran Turismo, as phenominal a game as it is, just because I couldn't put cool stickers and things on my car. Also, I could easily beat a race with 100 points to it, and get worked over and over again in a race with like 5 points. There was no ryme or reason. It started to feel like a grind to me.

Hey, can you run over pedestrians in Dub? There's other cars on the street right? And I love smashing up a car. All that stuff just adds to the fun....

Thanks Shawn, that's good to know! I'll hold out then. Hopefully the PS2 version will hold up. And I do know that both Jade Empire and God of War are great games....I just hate games that make me mash in all these stupid button combos. I know lots of people love that stuff, but I can sooo do without it. I need to read reviews more carefully I think. A friend recommended it too though, so I think I went in with much higher expectations. .....Anyway, I have to admit, I only actually played the game for about 10 minutes. I wasn't really liking it, even though it controlled really well. The game forced a perspective on you, and there was no camera control, so there's very little exploring, and when I realized that I couldn't just save whenever, and that there were all these stupid button combos, I realized that I had gotten a game that was meant for someone else.

[Jason Truong]

The thing is though, GTAzn, I'm pretty much in it for the licenced cars, and the upgrading....if some of the racing suffers, I'm kind of ok with that. I just stopped playing Gran Turismo, as phenominal a game as it is, just because I couldn't put cool stickers and things on my car. Also, I could easily beat a race with 100 points to it, and get worked over and over again in a race with like 5 points. There was no ryme or reason. It started to feel like a grind to me.

Hey, can you run over pedestrians in Dub? There's other cars on the street right? And I love smashing up a car. All that stuff just adds to the fun....


You can't customize you car as much as you can in NFSU2. Also a little disappointed that I haven't seen any spinners for my Escalade. Might be a unlockable later on (35% completed so far). As far as running over pedestrians, I haven't been able to hit one. I'm even scraping along walls to get them... just can't do it. Smashing cars is fun! Especially in the Escalade.

[el123chico]

dave, if you didn't like jade empire, maybe you should stick with the turn based Star Wars:KOTOR I & II. that way you don't have to worry about silly button combinations since it's turn based.

[dave finch]

I'm sure you have to be able to get spinners....I can't imagine how they could leave them off. It's too bad you can't hit pedestrians though. Still, I'm going to give it a try.

And yeah, the star wars games were great....I was really looking forward to actually being able to fight though. I just want it to be easy! I'm really hoping that student level works out for me.

[Criden]

dave, GTA: vice city and GTA: san andreas are pretty relaxed, chill games with simple button configurations...nice to pop in if you just want to relax.

[Marcdachamp]

Oh, I know...I know.

I would absolutely get Resident Evil 4 if I had a game cube. I'm actually really kind of bummed that I can't play it. I just can't justify getting the system for one great game. You never know though...I may still crack.
Dude, check out the new Zelda. Looks GLORIOUS. Cube's got a lot more good games than it's credited for.

[el123chico]

I'm sure you have to be able to get spinners....I can't imagine how they could leave them off. It's too bad you can't hit pedestrians though. Still, I'm going to give it a try.

And yeah, the star wars games were great....I was really looking forward to actually being able to fight though. I just want it to be easy! I'm really hoping that student level works out for me.
dude, go buy the punisher game. it isn't overly complex or long, but it's one of the most fun video gaming experiences ever. bloodiest video game ever. massive weapons and lots of bad guys to kill. best part, the special interrogation and kill zones. one level takes place in a funeral home, and the special kill zones are the display caskets. basically, you grab a bad guy, throw him in a casket with a grenade and hold the casket shut. SOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN.

[Kev-El]

I just finished Resident Evil 4 and Doom 3, both are awesome games. I am on Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory right now. Thanks for the heads up on Jade Empire, I was going to run out and buy that after all of the positive reviews. Now I will rent it first.

Kevin

[tom daylight]

the original splinter cell is a classic, I don't think the controls are too complicated, don't mistake it for a shoot-em-up though - that would completely miss the point of it

[GelfXIII]

I like tetris. :(


... and CoH. :D

[McAfee]

I can't wait to play either God of War or Jade Empire. The God of War commercial alone makes me mess myself. :D

[DrMachine]

Ninja Gaiden really sucked for me, couldn't get past the first level

[Cth]

Have you thought about getting one of those Gameshark things?

If so, I could upload a savegame. I'm in Chapter 3 of Jade Empire.

[Michael John Wheeler]

Get a Gameboy Advance. The games are very fun, and embrace people who suck at them, like me.

[joeAR]

The controls for God of War were easy for me but just about every other game out there has gotten out of control. I feel like i'm doing the Kama Sutra with my hands and the controller just to perform a move

[luckofthedraw]

so yeah

[AlexMiller]

The controls for God of War were easy for me but just about every other game out there has gotten out of control. I feel like i'm doing the Kama Sutra with my hands and the controller just to perform a move

The controls for God of War are kind of like Onimusha. I dug it. I'm currently addicted to Brothers in Arms: The Road to Hill 30...the controls are pretty straight forward. Direct fire team to shoot. Run and flank. Kill Nazis. Don't get shot. FPS are all pretty basic though...Story's not bad. A cross of Private Ryan and Band of Brothers. Heavier on the Band of Brothers.

[dave finch]

I think I'd probably not like Brothers in Arms just because it's squad based. I hate having to juggle a group of people around, and all that stuff. I'm just not good with tactics.

But I totally have to revise my reviews. I just finished Jade Empire on easy, and it was a phenominal game. The best I've played since GTA San Andreas. And a friend came over and forced me to try God of War again. It's still not my thing so much, but what a great game it is.... It's just beautiful, and varied, and the puzzles are so smart. It really is good. I'm just really bad at it.

Thanks Cth! I managed to get through, but I appreciate the thought. I definately would have taken you up on it.

[Anjin]

I just finished Jade Empire on easy, and it was a phenominal game.
I'm glad that worked out for you. I haven't played anything since JE, but I don't think I'll be able to stay away from Forza Motorsport.

[AlexMiller]

I think I'd probably not like Brothers in Arms just because it's squad based. I hate having to juggle a group of people around, and all that stuff. I'm just not good with tactics.

And a friend came over and forced me to try God of War again. It's still not my thing so much, but what a great game it is.... It's just beautiful, and varied, and the puzzles are so smart. It really is good. I'm just really bad at it.

The tactics are pretty straight forward...You shoot at Nazis...I go and run behind them to kill them. The juggling of the groups does get difficult...especially when the artillery starts to fly.

The drawback with God of War is the camera controls. It drove me up the wall not being able to rotate the camera around for a better angle. Overall though I was impressed how well it played and the depth of it.

One game I borrowed from my brother and was REALLY impressed with was the Escape from Butcher Bay for the XBOX...it's like a prequel to Pitch Black I guess. Man that thing is good. First person shooter and all that jazz. Vin Diesel owns a software development company and developed this one? He's got the complete dork trifecta...Plays D&D, makes video games and loves comic books(no offense...I fall into two of those...my third strike is I love learning magic tricks).

[luckofthedraw]

hm.

[SteveZegers]

I liked "God of War", mainly because I'm really sick of games where you have to spend half the time hiding. It was a nice change of pace. Not the best I've ever played, but not bad.

[dave finch]

Yeah, that's another whole genre I'm sick to death of. Hiding around corners, and behind hedges games. Bleh. I want a game with a hot chick in a tiny skirt that billows up everytime she jumps, with big guns, and cool spaceships and stuff that you can fly, and pissed off alien guys. Kind of an RPG, but not so geeked out. Something with some sex appeal, and some edgy design. A nice Syd Mead, Judge Dredd, Fifth Element Grand Theft Auto thing. That's what I want.

[tom daylight]

in that case you should probably offer your services as a lead game designer somewhere. with your reputation I doubt you'll have any problem getting a game like that made

except don't because we need you in comics :)

[Anjin]

Yeah, that's another whole genre I'm sick to death of. Hiding around corners, and behind hedges games. Bleh. I want a game with a hot chick in a tiny skirt that billows up everytime she jumps, with big guns, and cool spaceships and stuff that you can fly, and pissed off alien guys. Kind of an RPG, but not so geeked out. Something with some sex appeal, and some edgy design. A nice Syd Mead, Judge Dredd, Fifth Element Grand Theft Auto thing. That's what I want.
I would so buy this game if the chick was really, really hot. ;)

Forza Motorsport needs more hot chicks, but is a great game anyway. I've almost figured out how to steer without crashing.

[luckofthedraw]

i thought "the getaway" was sweet. a bit random, but still.

[dave finch]

I played the getaway part 1, and it was great, but their decision to have no interface was a big mistake, I think. They wanted to give it a sense of realism, and an interface admittedly takes away from that, but until games become more truly immersive a lack of a proper interface is just a handicap that they didn't need to saddle themselves with. If it was real life I could just look at my clip to see how many bullets I have, or look at the navigation window in my car, or speedometer, etc.... Since that's not possible in a game, they're just creating a limitation that takes away far more than it adds. It was a very big mistake on their part, and I don't know who's hubris caused it to happen, but I'm sure they paid for it in sales. I really hate obviously flawed decision making like that in a game.

[Criden]

I played the getaway part 1, and it was great, but their decision to have no interface was a big mistake, I think. They wanted to give it a sense of realism, and an interface admittedly takes away from that, but until games become more truly immersive a lack of a proper interface is just a handicap that they didn't need to saddle themselves with. If it was real life I could just look at my clip to see how many bullets I have, or look at the navigation window in my car, or speedometer, etc.... Since that's not possible in a game, they're just creating a limitation that takes away far more than it adds. It was a very big mistake on their part, and I don't know who's hubris caused it to happen, but I'm sure they paid for it in sales. I really hate obviously flawed decision making like that in a game.

i was happy with no interface. to each their own, i guess....