rare social pleasures of the semi-successful artist

[ty gorton]

it is better than that
much better
but this is something you can’t talk about with others
unless an ideal collection of social circumstance presents itself

the moment you bring it up
they start to squirm
and you can almost see the hate bleed from brain to eyes;
they will never look at you the same

the best part is getting clever
with the way you twist the knife
into their life-long wounds

there are a number of ways to do this
and they never know you’re doing it
despite the surge of pain
and they’ll consider it for many days afterward
maybe months
and if you’re lucky, it will eat them for years
until they either snap or evolve

what I’m talking about here is being an artist
telling people that you’re an artist
“yes, that’s it. that’s what I do.”
it’s the single bullet theory, the way resentment bounces around inside their flesh and bone
and tears them apart

and it’s only fair
when you consider what we have to deal with
the poverty and ridicule
the rejections and endless failures
the self doubt, the self loathing, the self destruction
it’s only fair
that we get to hurt people at social functions
hurt them in invisible ways
and we get to do it with a smile
as other people stand around and watch