The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
05-20-2006, 03:23 PM
Okay, another month, another PPV, another excuse for an insanely large post...
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_Melina_Jillian.jpg
This could be a lot better than it looks on paper. Whilst I'm not too sure about Jilliam's talent llevel, Melina has had good matches with Kirsty Hemme and Trish Stratus in the past, in which she showed she had aptitude toward the physical aspect of the game. A winner is hard to pick. Jillian could do with a win to help cement her face turn, but MNM could do with some momentum, as it were, going into the Tag Team Title match later on. It's a tough one, but I'm going with Jillian.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060515_FinlayBenoit_JD.jpg
Finlay is a marvel. I was sceptical when they brought him in, due to his age and the fact that he hadn't wrestled a full scheduel in years. However, he'sgone on to prove me and all the other naysayers wrong by becoming one of the highlights of the Smackdown! undercard. In many ways, he's the Anti-Ric Flair. And his match again Chris Benoit here may be the highlight of the PPV. though it's not really come from much of a dispute, my mind flashes back these two's ultra-still battles in WCW over the TV Title which, considering they both seem to have hardly lost a step, they stand a good shot at recreating. Once again, it's hard to pick a winner, but I'm gonna go with Finlay pulling off the upset. A victory here would do nothing for Benoit's career, but it would aid Finlay's march to the top of the undercard.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060511_HelmsCrazy_JD.jpg
Another match that hasn't had much of a build-up, but looks likely to deliver in the ring. It didn't help that the set-up for this match was used to get over The Great Khali (sadly, more on whom later...), but the very fact that this exists on PPV at all is reason to celebrate. I've much enjoyed Helms' run as Cruiser Champ, and his cocky attitude has made a connection with the fans, who now care about this title for the first time since it was held by Rey Mysterio. With this in mind, I call Helms to retain, as as I expect Crazy and his partney Pyschosis will soon be very busy in the Tag team Division.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060511_AngleHenry_KOR.jpg
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I'm not looking forward to a Kurt Angle match. Basically, Mark henry is the biggest load of dead weigh currently pretending to be a wrestler, and has proven time and time again that it is impossible to have a good match with him, no matter how good his opponent is. Nobody has done it. Chris Benoit couldn't do it. Booker T couldn't do it. The Undertaker came nowhere near doing it. And, sadly, at The Royal Rumble, even Kurt himself failed the test, taking part in what may have been the worst match of his career. The optimist inside me hasn't given up on a miracle quite yet, but the realist keeps reminding me of what has come before. In fact, the only thing I'm hoping will be a rerun of their Rumble match is the result- Kurt going over.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060509_LondonKendrick_MNM.jpg
And not onto, finally, a good-looking match that has had a build-up. And a pretty good one as well, in a distinctly old-school, wrestling-based way, With London & Kendrick defeating the champs in single and non-title tag matches, until MNM snapped and gave them an almighty beatdown. I'm expecting a lot from this match, as all four men are incredibly talented young men, especially Paul London, who may just be the most under-appreciated person in the entire company. I also expect London & Kendrick to win the gold in this match. MNM have been the Smackdiwn Tag Team Division's top dogs for a long time now, and deserve a break to let others try and succeed in their places.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_Taker_Khali.jpg
I have nothing to say here, other than this will be the worst match of the year, and one of the worst of all time. 'Taker wins.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_BookerLashley_JD.jpg
And, so, The King Of The Ring returns, although it has lost it's own PPV and has to settle for being used as a Mid-Card attraction. However, as Mid-Card attractions go, it's an attractive looking one. Boogyman-related nonsense aside, Booker's heel turn has rejuvinated him both as a character and a worker, taking pride in his matches and angles for the first time in years. Also, Lashley, though still a rookie, has shown promise since his debut. Anybody who can have a cecent match with JBL deserves respect, in my books. Plus, he's not resting on his push, instead working to improve all aspects of his game. Sadly, that won't be enough to grant him a win here. WWE, to their credit, are taking it slow with Lashley, which is good, because, as promising as he is, he's not ready to be King Of the Ring. Also, the KOTR is traditionally won, mostly, by heels, thus setting them up for a potential run at the top face. So, all signs point to Booker, and I won't disagree.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060501_jd_worldheavyweight.jpg
The build-up to this match has been, officially, the worst build-up to a Championship Main Event of all time. WWE, in it's infinite wisdom, has had it's World Champion, Rey Mysterio, crushed and destroyed, cleanly, by the likes of Mark Henry, The Great Khali, and Kane, in attempt to make him a sympatheric character going into his Match with JBL. However, remove the "sym", and you get what they've really made him look like. Granted, Rey's size was always going to be something to work around. But it could have been done. Other promotions have done it in the past. Hell, WWE have done it in the past, with Shawn Micheals, Chris Benoit and the late Eddie Guerrero. But they seemed intent on showing up their champions shortcomings, no pun intended, and intentionally ruining the hype for their own big match. In the ring, this should be good, as Rey and JBL have has some exciting battles in the past, their contrasting styles meshing together well. Rey will also win this and retain his title, because, if he doesn't that's it for his credibility as a headliner. Which, now that i think about it, may have been WWE's plan all along...
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_Melina_Jillian.jpg
This could be a lot better than it looks on paper. Whilst I'm not too sure about Jilliam's talent llevel, Melina has had good matches with Kirsty Hemme and Trish Stratus in the past, in which she showed she had aptitude toward the physical aspect of the game. A winner is hard to pick. Jillian could do with a win to help cement her face turn, but MNM could do with some momentum, as it were, going into the Tag Team Title match later on. It's a tough one, but I'm going with Jillian.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060515_FinlayBenoit_JD.jpg
Finlay is a marvel. I was sceptical when they brought him in, due to his age and the fact that he hadn't wrestled a full scheduel in years. However, he'sgone on to prove me and all the other naysayers wrong by becoming one of the highlights of the Smackdown! undercard. In many ways, he's the Anti-Ric Flair. And his match again Chris Benoit here may be the highlight of the PPV. though it's not really come from much of a dispute, my mind flashes back these two's ultra-still battles in WCW over the TV Title which, considering they both seem to have hardly lost a step, they stand a good shot at recreating. Once again, it's hard to pick a winner, but I'm gonna go with Finlay pulling off the upset. A victory here would do nothing for Benoit's career, but it would aid Finlay's march to the top of the undercard.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060511_HelmsCrazy_JD.jpg
Another match that hasn't had much of a build-up, but looks likely to deliver in the ring. It didn't help that the set-up for this match was used to get over The Great Khali (sadly, more on whom later...), but the very fact that this exists on PPV at all is reason to celebrate. I've much enjoyed Helms' run as Cruiser Champ, and his cocky attitude has made a connection with the fans, who now care about this title for the first time since it was held by Rey Mysterio. With this in mind, I call Helms to retain, as as I expect Crazy and his partney Pyschosis will soon be very busy in the Tag team Division.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060511_AngleHenry_KOR.jpg
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I'm not looking forward to a Kurt Angle match. Basically, Mark henry is the biggest load of dead weigh currently pretending to be a wrestler, and has proven time and time again that it is impossible to have a good match with him, no matter how good his opponent is. Nobody has done it. Chris Benoit couldn't do it. Booker T couldn't do it. The Undertaker came nowhere near doing it. And, sadly, at The Royal Rumble, even Kurt himself failed the test, taking part in what may have been the worst match of his career. The optimist inside me hasn't given up on a miracle quite yet, but the realist keeps reminding me of what has come before. In fact, the only thing I'm hoping will be a rerun of their Rumble match is the result- Kurt going over.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060509_LondonKendrick_MNM.jpg
And not onto, finally, a good-looking match that has had a build-up. And a pretty good one as well, in a distinctly old-school, wrestling-based way, With London & Kendrick defeating the champs in single and non-title tag matches, until MNM snapped and gave them an almighty beatdown. I'm expecting a lot from this match, as all four men are incredibly talented young men, especially Paul London, who may just be the most under-appreciated person in the entire company. I also expect London & Kendrick to win the gold in this match. MNM have been the Smackdiwn Tag Team Division's top dogs for a long time now, and deserve a break to let others try and succeed in their places.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_Taker_Khali.jpg
I have nothing to say here, other than this will be the worst match of the year, and one of the worst of all time. 'Taker wins.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060504_BookerLashley_JD.jpg
And, so, The King Of The Ring returns, although it has lost it's own PPV and has to settle for being used as a Mid-Card attraction. However, as Mid-Card attractions go, it's an attractive looking one. Boogyman-related nonsense aside, Booker's heel turn has rejuvinated him both as a character and a worker, taking pride in his matches and angles for the first time in years. Also, Lashley, though still a rookie, has shown promise since his debut. Anybody who can have a cecent match with JBL deserves respect, in my books. Plus, he's not resting on his push, instead working to improve all aspects of his game. Sadly, that won't be enough to grant him a win here. WWE, to their credit, are taking it slow with Lashley, which is good, because, as promising as he is, he's not ready to be King Of the Ring. Also, the KOTR is traditionally won, mostly, by heels, thus setting them up for a potential run at the top face. So, all signs point to Booker, and I won't disagree.
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/309846/372850/2670822/20060501_jd_worldheavyweight.jpg
The build-up to this match has been, officially, the worst build-up to a Championship Main Event of all time. WWE, in it's infinite wisdom, has had it's World Champion, Rey Mysterio, crushed and destroyed, cleanly, by the likes of Mark Henry, The Great Khali, and Kane, in attempt to make him a sympatheric character going into his Match with JBL. However, remove the "sym", and you get what they've really made him look like. Granted, Rey's size was always going to be something to work around. But it could have been done. Other promotions have done it in the past. Hell, WWE have done it in the past, with Shawn Micheals, Chris Benoit and the late Eddie Guerrero. But they seemed intent on showing up their champions shortcomings, no pun intended, and intentionally ruining the hype for their own big match. In the ring, this should be good, as Rey and JBL have has some exciting battles in the past, their contrasting styles meshing together well. Rey will also win this and retain his title, because, if he doesn't that's it for his credibility as a headliner. Which, now that i think about it, may have been WWE's plan all along...