Real-life Retcons

[Shepherd]

I have several that have happened to me, but probably the most interesting one is this:

In high school, I had this girl that was a friend of mine. We spent a lot of time together, but she made it clear she didn't want to date (because I wasn't Christian. Pfft!). Long after the fact, people have referred to when "Jill and you were dating"; in fact, when I bumped into Jill a few years ago, SHE even said, "When you and I were dating..." I had to point out to her that she made it abundantly clear at the time we were NEVER dating. Weirdness.

Yours?

R

[TheTravis!]

One time I went nuts and killed the Green Lantern corps. But later on I found out it wasn't me, it was the evil yellow fear bug thingy in my soul.

[Flonk]

Iraq causing 9/11!

BA-ZING!

[Gavin]

I had a girl break up with me when she wasn't even my girlfriend, and I hadn't even seen her in a couple of years. We kept in casual touch but that was it.

[Matt Jay]

Around the time of the Iraq invasion, I used to argue against it with my dad. For several months it was pretty much all we'd talk about. Now he claims that he's against it and always was. I can't prove him wrong.

[Shepherd]

I had a girl break up with me when she wasn't even my girlfriend, and I hadn't even seen her in a couple of years. We kept in casual touch but that was it.

Wow, that's really weird.

R

[Gavin]

Wow, that's really weird.

R
Needless to say I was pretty confused. She was my friend, but that was it. There was nothing physical to our relationship that would even indicate she was my girlfriend.

[TheTravis!]

I had a girl break up with me when she wasn't even my girlfriend, and I hadn't even seen her in a couple of years. We kept in casual touch but that was it.

I've actually had something similar happen.

[Gavin]

I've actually had something similar happen.
Do tell.

[TheTravis!]

Do tell.

Two situations:
First one was a girl I casually dated twice. She calls me up out of the blue and makes a huge production about how she can't be committed to me the way she did, and how she thinks we would be better off as friends. I'm still trying to figure out how two dinner and a movie dates constitutes a "commitment", when she hangs up on me.

Second was a girl I dated about three times.On the third she mentions her "boyfriend". I'm like, "fucking WHO?", and she gets a "Whoops" look on her face. Turns out she had a boyfriend the whole time we were dating.

[Gavin]

Two situations:
First one was a girl I casually dated twice. She calls me up out of the blue and makes a huge production about how she can't be committed to me the way she did, and how she thinks we would be better off as friends. I'm still trying to figure out how two dinner and a movie dates constitutes a "commitment", when she hangs up on me.

Second was a girl I dated about three times.On the third she mentions her "boyfriend". I'm like, "fucking WHO?", and she gets a "Whoops" look on her face. Turns out she had a boyfriend the whole time we were dating.
Those're great. Especially the first one.

[Shepherd]

I've got another one. In high school, a friend of mine and I went to this weird "sexual abstinance" conference with church. We joked around about it so much afterward, that I actually remembered us making jokes AT the conference. But I was talking about it with him one day, and he pointed out that ALL the jokes were made after the conference. I honestly remember them during the conference, though.

R

[Shepherd]

Those're great. Especially the first one.

Girls are weird.

I've had a couple stalkers, but they really aren't retcons.

R

[Gavin]

Girls are weird.

I've had a couple stalkers, but they really aren't retcons.

R
This isn't a stalker story, but here goes. When I was in college this girl that was in one of my classes emailed me out of the blue, saying she had just stumbled across my email address. How do you stumble across someone's email address? I was flattered, but she could have just said, "Hey, I looked you up because even though our class is over I want to keep in touch."

[evophile]

not even sure this was is funny...

Had a chick friend in college, never did anything even though she was attractive, b/c it was quite clear we were just friends. Didn't bother me too much though. But one day she goes "I've always wondered what it'd been like to f*** you". So of course I'm like "okay".

So a couple months later I notice certain people I know, girls I'm friends with really are trying to ignore me. Turns out this girl told a lot of the girls I know that forced myself upon her. Was horrible and took me awhile to clear myself, but luckily I was able to do it.

[Shepherd]

This isn't a stalker story, but here goes. When I was in college this girl that was in one of my classes emailed me out of the blue, saying she had just stumbled across my email address. How do you stumble across someone's email address? I was flattered, but she could have just said, "Hey, I looked you up because even though our class is over I want to keep in touch."

I looked a girl up on the class listserv once like that. Got a couple dates out of it, but she turned out to be pretty weird. My stalker stories are MUCH worse than that. I'll tell them later, when I have more time.

R

[Gavin]

not even sure this was is funny...

Had a chick friend in college, never did anything even though she was attractive, b/c it was quite clear we were just friends. Didn't bother me too much though. But one day she goes "I've always wondered what it'd been like to f*** you". So of course I'm like "okay".

So a couple months later I notice certain people I know, girls I'm friends with really are trying to ignore me. Turns out this girl told a lot of the girls I know that forced myself upon her. Was horrible and took me awhile to clear myself, but luckily I was able to do it.
That sucks.

[Shepherd]

not even sure this was is funny...

Had a chick friend in college, never did anything even though she was attractive, b/c it was quite clear we were just friends. Didn't bother me too much though. But one day she goes "I've always wondered what it'd been like to f*** you". So of course I'm like "okay".

So a couple months later I notice certain people I know, girls I'm friends with really are trying to ignore me. Turns out this girl told a lot of the girls I know that forced myself upon her. Was horrible and took me awhile to clear myself, but luckily I was able to do it.

Wow, that's fuckin' terrible. Did you tell the girl off?

R

[TheTravis!]

I also had my friend Amber mention a friend of hers and tell me, "You know her. She's that girl you fucked that one time." I can almost categorically claim that I did NOT sleep with that girl.

[Gavin]

I also had my friend Amber mention a friend of hers and tell me, "You know her. She's that girl you fucked that one time." I can almost categorically claim that I did NOT sleep with that girl.
"almost...." But you never know.

[Lab-Rat]

I once ran into a girl I had a huge crush on in Highschool. We talked. First we hung out as friends...but after a few weeks...we went on what she reffered to as a few dates. You know. Out to eat dinner. A movie. Whatnot. Well, out of the blue she stopped talking to me. Wouldn't answer/return my calls (though I only called her 2 times within the span of a week...mainly to see if she wanted to do anything that friday...so she may have stopped talking to me cause I stopped calling...but she did have my phone number...she could have at least returned my calls). So about a month later I ran into a friend of hers. And he mentioned that he was talking to her about me and how she stated that she hasn't seen me since we were in high school (which is well over 2 years prior to this instance). He found this odd cause he had heard through someone else (someone I didn't even know) that we were dating. It was weird. I don't even know what was going on there. But according to her she hadn't seen me for over 2 years, and we never dated. Even though we dated just a month prior. So yeah...there you go.

I was also a little hurt by that...but I got over it.

Not sure if that's what you meant by real life retcon, though.

[Randomus]

Police action.

[evophile]

Wow, that's fuckin' terrible. Did you tell the girl off?

R

Actually I didn't even get a chance to. It was then that it became abundantly clear that she was crazy. She shortly ended up in the mental ward of the hospital for trying to OD herself on pills. At the hospital they discovered she was pregnant, whereas she wouldn't eat for awhile because she thought she was getting fat I remembered.

Turns out she was bipolar and the whole time I knew her she was on meds, and somewhere along the line she stopped taking them which led to this. So I never got to tell her off, I just ended up feeling pretty bad for her. I probably eased up because at least I was able to convince everyone that I didn't "force myself upon her".

Needless to say, my freshman year of college was quite a year.

[james michael]

i had kinda the same thing when i was seventeen... wed fuck and hang out 24/7, but he kept telling em "im not your boyfriend"...
when i ditched him, he kept coming back around my friends hangouts, asking for me, and when he finally caught up with me, asked why i broke up with him...

[evophile]

I once ran into a girl I had a huge crush on in Highschool. We talked. First we hung out as friends...but after a few weeks...we went on what she reffered to as a few dates. You know. Out to eat dinner. A movie. Whatnot. Well, out of the blue she stopped talking to me. Wouldn't answer/return my calls (though I only called her 2 times within the span of a week...mainly to see if she wanted to do anything that friday...so she may have stopped talking to me cause I stopped calling...but she did have my phone number...she could have at least returned my calls). So about a month later I ran into a friend of hers. And he mentioned that he was talking to her about me and how she stated that she hasn't seen me since we were in high school (which is well over 2 years prior to this instance). He found this odd cause he had heard through someone else (someone I didn't even know) that we were dating. It was weird. I don't even know what was going on there. But according to her she hadn't seen me for over 2 years, and we never dated. Even though we dated just a month prior. So yeah...there you go.

I was also a little hurt by that...but I got over it.

Not sure if that's what you meant by real life retcon, though.


Damn, that's pretty mean. Sounds a bit cookoo. What's funny, is that so many of these real life retcons tend to involve women making crap up.

[justjeffery]

I had a really good example... then I forgot it as I was reading ya'lls...

[J. R. Scherer]

I have a buddy that swears he's the tallest person he's ever met. He's 6'5", which is pretty tall, but there were at least two taller people than him on the basketball team with him in high school that he refuses to remember nowadays. He also routinely tells people that he's 6'6", 6'7", or 6'8", like being 6'5" just isn't tall enough. It's weird.

[Fourthman]

Hey, where'd my post go?

[J. R. Scherer]

Hey, where'd my post go?
Ah Ha Ha Ha.

[Gavin]

Hey, where'd my post go?
Ba-leted!

[Marcdachamp]

Second was a girl I dated about three times.On the third she mentions her "boyfriend". I'm like, "fucking WHO?", and she gets a "Whoops" look on her face. Turns out she had a boyfriend the whole time we were dating.
Had a similar situation once. She asked me out, we went out for lunch, had a good time, so I call her back and I get the cold shoulder. I kind of think ok, whatever and forget about it. Then I find out she's dating a guy I used to play hockey with. No big deal. I see him at a party a few months later and he tells me that the two of them were dating when she asked me out! I convinced him that I had no idea (not a big deal for him anyway since they'd broken up) and he spends the rest of the night telling me stories that any woman would kill her ex for telling.

[TonyFleecs]

In the 5th grade I had the 5th grade relationship with a girl for maybe a day and a half. 10 years later, I'm hanging out with her little brother... She's in jail, dropped out of Jr. high, went & followed the dead around for a while, had a baby, got caught stealing with drugs on her or something. So her mom invites me to go with them to visit her in jail, says it'll make her feel better to see someone from back in the day. So I go. I talk to her for a little bit & then we take off. On the way out of the women's pennitentary I run into my friend Mike who I worked fast food with in Highschool, he's there visiting his girl, she had a baby & got into a fight 2 days later, got locked up. When Mike's girl gets out she tells me that I'm apparently this girl's boyfriend on the outside.... wich was kinda cool, but I wonder if she just thought visiting in jail = going out or if she was going back to the 5th grade thing.

Haven't seen her since so I con't be for sure one way or another.

[Nick Hale]

In the 5th grade I had the 5th grade relationship with a girl for maybe a day and a half. 10 years later, I'm hanging out with her little brother... She's in jail, dropped out of Jr. high, went & followed the dead around for a while, had a baby, got caught stealing with drugs on her or something. So her mom invites me to go with them to visit her in jail, says it'll make her feel better to see someone from back in the day. So I go. I talk to her for a little bit & then we take off. On the way out of the women's pennitentary I run into my friend Mike who I worked fast food with in Highschool, he's there visiting his girl, she had a baby & got into a fight 2 days later, got locked up. When Mike's girl gets out she tells me that I'm apparently this girl's boyfriend on the outside.... wich was kinda cool, but I wonder if she just thought visiting in jail = going out or if she was going back to the 5th grade thing.

Haven't seen her since so I con't be for sure one way or another.

Mine kinda has this vibe, only I've not visited any of my old girlfriends in prison... yet. But it seems like almost every one of the girls I dated in middle school are now hardcore drug addicts that have kids, the irony of that is the fact that the girls I dated back then were ALL the ones that everyone thought were the "good" girls.

[Gunter]

My ex wife is living in her own retconned world.


If I didn't know better I'd swear Bendis based House of M on her.

[Ben]

A few years ago, I found out that one of my friends thought I had no sense of smell. Everytime something came up that was smell-related, he said he'd think to himself "poor guy can't smell." He must've misunderstood something I said or took a sarcastic comment literally or something.

[Shepherd]

I once ran into a girl I had a huge crush on in Highschool. We talked. First we hung out as friends...but after a few weeks...we went on what she reffered to as a few dates. You know. Out to eat dinner. A movie. Whatnot. Well, out of the blue she stopped talking to me. Wouldn't answer/return my calls (though I only called her 2 times within the span of a week...mainly to see if she wanted to do anything that friday...so she may have stopped talking to me cause I stopped calling...but she did have my phone number...she could have at least returned my calls). So about a month later I ran into a friend of hers. And he mentioned that he was talking to her about me and how she stated that she hasn't seen me since we were in high school (which is well over 2 years prior to this instance). He found this odd cause he had heard through someone else (someone I didn't even know) that we were dating. It was weird. I don't even know what was going on there. But according to her she hadn't seen me for over 2 years, and we never dated. Even though we dated just a month prior. So yeah...there you go.

I was also a little hurt by that...but I got over it.

Not sure if that's what you meant by real life retcon, though.

Sounds like it fits. She retconned you right out of the last two years.

R