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The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 04:51 PM
...

...

... how often do you...

... stimulate...

... yourself.

I ask because, I'm trying to cut back. I read somewhere that it's helpful to you if you do, as it allows you to "harness you sex drive", or something like that. So, I'm trying to cut back to once a week.

It's...

... well, it's not going well, let's just say that.

Movie Maker
10-19-2005, 04:53 PM
my personal 1 day record...13

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 04:53 PM
my personal 1 day record...13

Impressive.

Five for me.

LenNWallace
10-19-2005, 04:55 PM
my personal 1 day record...13
Wow, you beat my high school sick day record of 10.

moonspider
10-19-2005, 04:55 PM
um....what?

Ethan Van Sciver
10-19-2005, 04:56 PM
You want to cut back masturbating to once a week? That's good. The saints will stop crying.

Seriously, why think so much about such a thing?

LenNWallace
10-19-2005, 04:56 PM
um....what?
When you're older. ;)

jza1218
10-19-2005, 04:56 PM
You guys keep count?

Patton
10-19-2005, 04:56 PM
Are you kids serious?

Doesn't it get raw after that many?

LenNWallace
10-19-2005, 04:58 PM
You want to cut back masturbating to once a week? That's good. The saints will stop crying.

Seriously, why think so much about such a thing?
To save his seeds for when it counts, to have an army of young Kelly Osborne stalkers waiting in the wings when she finally manages to have him killed for mailing her bunny skulls.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 04:58 PM
You want to cut back masturbating to once a week? That's good. The saints will stop crying.

Seriously, why think so much about such a thing?

Boredom, mostly. I also like to give most thing that I read, within reason obviously, a try, to see how they work out.

This one's not really working out according to plan.

THWIP!
10-19-2005, 04:58 PM
The most in a day for me is 3. But usually I do it 2 or 4 times a week.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 04:58 PM
To save his seeds for when it counts, to have an army of young Kelly Osborne stalkers waiting in the wings when she finally manages to have him killed for mailing her bunny skulls.

It's as if you're posting this directly from my mind...

LenNWallace
10-19-2005, 04:59 PM
You guys keep count?
Dude, high school. Sick day. Wanted to see how many I could squeeze into the span of a day for... Scientific purposes.

Taki Soma
10-19-2005, 04:59 PM
You want to cut back masturbating to once a week? That's good. The saints will stop crying.

Seriously, why think so much about such a thing?
:lol:

ihategravity
10-19-2005, 04:59 PM
I knew there was a logical reason why you're so fixated on Kelly Osborne's "beauty"; you've gone blind!!!

As an answer to your question, though, I never stimulate myself and never will....




um, an average of once every other day.

half guard
10-19-2005, 04:59 PM
where do you have the time or energy? my girl and i average at least 1 to 2 times a day. that's enough for me. i don't have anymore time or energy to spank it after that.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:00 PM
where do you have the time or energy? my girl and i average at least 1 to 2 times a day. that's enough for me. i don't have anymore time or energy to spank it after that.

Never has an avatar been more appropriate.

yeamon
10-19-2005, 05:12 PM
Does this thread have anything to do with your other thread about your hand hurting?

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:12 PM
Does this thread have anything to do with your other thread about your hand hurting?

No.

Although one will influence the other.

Ethan Van Sciver
10-19-2005, 05:14 PM
I whack it twice each night while you're sleeping, right over your face. So that's 14 times a week. I could do better.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:15 PM
I whack it twice each night while you're sleeping, right over your face. So that's 14 times a week. I could do better.

Considering I live in England, you must go off like a rocket launcher.

jza1218
10-19-2005, 05:16 PM
I wake up sticky every morning...I always thought it was Ethan Van Sciver's doing, but considering he just fessed up to doing it on you, there must be another culprit...

Goddamn Pacheco...

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:18 PM
I wake up sticky every morning...I always thought it was Ethan Van Sciver's doing, but considering he just fessed up to doing it on you, there must be another culprit...

Goddamn Pacheco...

Psst...

:shifty:

... it's BYRNE.

moonspider
10-19-2005, 05:20 PM
you mean your phalic monster?

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:22 PM
you mean your phalic monster?

"Monster"?

You're too kind, sir.

jza1218
10-19-2005, 05:22 PM
Psst...

:shifty:

... it's BYRNE.

Isn't Byrne too busy with his blonde hookers?

ihategravity
10-19-2005, 05:22 PM
Oh by the way, keep this picture of Ms. Osborne. She's got some bigguns, and by 'uns I mean mouth and teeth. ;-)

Boris the Blade
10-19-2005, 05:22 PM
I can't finish after the third, whether it's, y'know, self-inflicted, or with a girl. It just hurts too much at that point.

Maybe once every couple days.

changingshades
10-19-2005, 05:26 PM
I average about 3 a day with something like 7 being my most.

changingshades
10-19-2005, 05:28 PM
my personal 1 day record...13
how?

just...just how?

Ray G.
10-19-2005, 05:28 PM
Every other day, usually.

wh park
10-19-2005, 05:29 PM
Well considering what you whack it off to -

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Technofearsquared/10.jpg

I too would be concerned about the frequency of your self-stimulation.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:29 PM
how?

just...just how?

Kid's a machine.

A sperm generating machine.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:30 PM
Well considering what you whack it off to -

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Technofearsquared/10.jpg

I too would be concerned about the frequency of your self-stimulation.

I happen to think that photo's lovely, thank you very much.

moonspider
10-19-2005, 05:30 PM
"Monster"?

You're too kind, sir.



wang






baloonknot!

mike black
10-19-2005, 05:33 PM
When I'm bored with masterbation, about once every two weeks.

When I'm not, about once every four or five days.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-19-2005, 05:36 PM
When I'm bored with masterbation, about once every two weeks.

When I'm not, about once every four or five days.

I wish to borrow your restraint, sir.

Amos Moses
10-19-2005, 05:40 PM
Daily.

mike black
10-19-2005, 05:41 PM
I wish to borrow your restraint, sir.

Well, I was in a two year dry spell of anti-woman...ness....

During that time I actually got bored with jerking off.

Then I went into a relationship where I had sex four - six times a day, three or four days a week for six months. If you want to talk personal records there, hers would now be 7 orgasms in one sitting.

Since then I don't like to think about things like that, so I'm not that fond of masterbation. I do it when I need to, and really get by without it the rest of the time.

WinterRose
10-19-2005, 05:42 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/WinterRose/george_costanza011.jpg
I'M OUT!!

wh park
10-19-2005, 05:44 PM
I happen to think that photo's lovely, thank you very much.

Is it the clevage or her open mouth?

Shwicaz
10-19-2005, 05:47 PM
to answer your question techno--

I am a gay man. My dick is like a sprinkler.

:lol:

Patton
10-19-2005, 05:47 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/WinterRose/george_costanza011.jpg
I'M OUT!!
Uh...wrong.

mike black
10-19-2005, 05:48 PM
I am a gay man. My dick is like a sprinkler.

You should tattoo that on your arm.

Seltzer Water
10-19-2005, 05:49 PM
to answer your question techno--

I am a gay man. My dick is like a sprinkler.

:lol:

quote of the year good sir

moonspider
10-19-2005, 05:50 PM
im surprised no one posted that little animated gif with the cum splattering on the thread yet

Amos Moses
10-19-2005, 05:51 PM
to answer your question techno--

I am a gay man. My dick is like a sprinkler.

:lol:
:rofl:
That is the best god damn thing I've ever read on the Internet.

Shwicaz
10-19-2005, 05:58 PM
:rofl:
That is the best god damn thing I've ever read on the Internet.

I AM THAT!!

You hear that King of Mars.

I want on 'the list'

:lol:

CraigM
10-19-2005, 06:04 PM
Whoa... 13 times a day?! 7 times?! 3?! 2?!

If I have to do it, it's about once every other day. But, I've never been able to do 2 or more a day.

Craig

V-Man
10-19-2005, 06:33 PM
Once every seven years.

Brian Defferding
10-19-2005, 07:32 PM
Sometimes twice a day. If my girlfriend isn't with me, four times/day. But it also depends on how busy I am; so if I have a lot to do during the day I won't have time to rub one off. But then again, I've "excused myself" to the bathroom at work to get it out of my system so I can stop touching myself at my desk sometimes.


....yeah.

Mick
10-19-2005, 07:35 PM
Wow... that's a lot of... wow. Moviemaker's 13 in one day makes me question my virility a little.

Amos Moses
10-19-2005, 07:47 PM
Sometimes twice a day. If my girlfriend isn't with me, four times/day. But it also depends on how busy I am; so if I have a lot to do during the day I won't have time to rub one off. But then again, I've "excused myself" to the bathroom at work to get it out of my system so I can stop touching myself at my desk sometimes.


....yeah.


If you weren't a Vampire, I'd worship you.

Ryan F
10-19-2005, 07:47 PM
Where the hell did you read that it's good to cut it down to once a week???

Sounds like some sort of bullshit propoganda to me.

RyanP
10-19-2005, 07:48 PM
Where the hell did you read that it's good to cut it down to once a week???

Sounds like some sort of bullshit propoganda to me.
I agree with that guy.

Jonny Z
10-19-2005, 07:51 PM
on odd numbered days that are full moons that don't fall on a tuesday or saturday.

and never in a leap year.

mattbrand
10-19-2005, 08:02 PM
Are you kids serious?

Doesn't it get raw after that many?

Its all about the massage oil.

Ryan F
10-19-2005, 08:10 PM
I agree with that guy.

You have a strong, manly name.

RyanP
10-19-2005, 08:12 PM
You have a strong, manly name.
As do you.

Nick_Ardill
10-19-2005, 08:16 PM
to answer your question techno--

I am a gay man. My dick is like a sprinkler.

:lol:
Well there's a mental imagine I could have done without.




The Penis/Sprinkler thing, not being Gay.

Brian Defferding
10-19-2005, 08:18 PM
If you weren't a Vampire, I'd worship you.

Just wait until after Halloween when I'm normal again. For the weekly worship service, my communion ritual is rather, um, how do you say it..."unorthodox". Let's just say the wine is kind of a "white wine". Just remember, it only hurts when you struggle.

Justin.Strange
10-19-2005, 08:18 PM
i cant wait to read about this on Fanboy Rampage!! oh wait......

Nick_Ardill
10-19-2005, 08:19 PM
i cant wait to read about this on Fanboy Rampage!! oh wait......
Oh yeah cause they're ones to talk about masturbating too much.

Captain Sensation
10-19-2005, 08:55 PM
i spent a lot of time (2 mins) deciding on whether or not to post here....and i decided not to, but then i changed my mind at the last second to try to figure out why people care how many times someone else masturbates?? unless you like to watch or something, why does it matter *grins at person who started this thread* :scared:

The Human Target
10-19-2005, 08:56 PM
As needed.

mike black
10-19-2005, 09:00 PM
Constantly, I'm rubbing one out right now.

:scared:

copypastepuke
10-19-2005, 09:00 PM
EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FLOBOYS!


i have sex probably minimum 5 times a week. we have conflicting schedules this semester! so that sucks. but it is still high because we live together which is really awesome.

thatguylobo
10-19-2005, 09:01 PM
Once or twice a week these days. I just... stopped caring.
I think I might be depressed... Hmmm...

The Human Target
10-19-2005, 09:03 PM
:scared:

And thinking about Alec Guinness oddly enough.

mike black
10-19-2005, 09:05 PM
Once or twice a week these days. I just... stopped caring.
I think I might be depressed... Hmmm...

How can you be depressed with that avatar?

joeAR
10-19-2005, 09:07 PM
My girlfriend takes care of that for me.

Humphrey_Lee
10-19-2005, 09:27 PM
I'm responsible for approximately 1000 dead kittens a year... plus I also wank it a good bit too :roll:

Natty P
10-19-2005, 09:29 PM
Whenever desire intersects with the opportunity.


Who cares how much other people masturbate?

mike black
10-19-2005, 09:30 PM
I'm responsible for approximately 1000 dead kittens a year... plus I also wank it a good bit too :roll:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/95500/95671YEgd_w.jpg

thatguylobo
10-19-2005, 09:31 PM
How can you be depressed with that avatar?


It's not easy.

Blandy vs Terrorism
10-19-2005, 09:32 PM
Between living in new barracks and not talking to Cathy as much....a lot less these days.....

The Human Target
10-19-2005, 09:39 PM
Whenever desire intersects with the opportunity.


Who cares how much other people masturbate?

http://www.julio.ws/images/portfolio/jesus-2-l.jpg

t00lverine
10-19-2005, 09:45 PM
Dude... werid thread. Really weird.

joeAR
10-19-2005, 09:51 PM
But before I started going out with my current girlfriend the average was about 3 times a day. The record was 7.....thank god for my gf.

changingshades
10-19-2005, 10:05 PM
And thinking about Alec Guinness oddly enough.
genuine class

Humphrey_Lee
10-19-2005, 10:21 PM
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/95500/95671YEgd_w.jpg

That little monster is more involved in my life than my family is... poor bastard...

mike black
10-19-2005, 10:28 PM
That little monster is more involved in my life than my family is... poor bastard...

I hear he's trying to get away from us Americans and seek out a new life in Europe.

Jacob Lyon Goddard
10-19-2005, 10:33 PM
on semi-a regular basis
my personal record is 7 times in one day while on a sick day from school when i was 15
it all changed when i went to college and had to share a single room appartment with 3 other guys

alexlannin
10-19-2005, 10:34 PM
I only dabble when my wife's flowing or sick.

joeAR
10-19-2005, 10:35 PM
on semi-a regular basis
my personal record is 7 times in one day while on a sick day from school when i was 15
it all changed when i went to college and had to share a single room appartment with 3 other guys


You could have invited one of the girls from the other dorms to perform a circle jerk with you guys...not like i've done that type of thing before

Jacob Lyon Goddard
10-19-2005, 10:42 PM
You could have invited one of the girls from the other dorms to perform a circle jerk with you guys...not like i've done that type of thing before
as much action as i managed to scrape up during college (which as about average as near as i can tell) it was nothing compared to the numbers and verities i was pulling during the last two years of highschool

Caley Tibbittz
10-19-2005, 11:26 PM
My "record" for one day was 3...:roll:

...I'm probably around twice a week now, though it was more before I joined the board.

The Girl
10-20-2005, 12:33 AM
I don't. There's no point.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
10-20-2005, 04:38 AM
Dude... werid thread. Really weird.

I pride myself on weird, yet strangely interesting and compelling threads.

moonspider
10-20-2005, 04:43 AM
:roll:

Adam Beranek
10-20-2005, 04:58 AM
I zoo trip like once a week....usually so I can go to sleep.

Joshzilla
10-20-2005, 05:30 AM
Okay, Schwicaz...I've gotta know. Does it make that sprinkler sound? Y'know...thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk...chikachikachikachikachika. If not, it will in your head from now thanks to me!

Secondly, they say it's good to do it alot. Allegedly there are carcinogens in your man-juice that if held in can cause prostate cancer.

And y'know, Movie Maker's gotta have forearms like damn Popeye.

And finally:
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a8/miracleman162/Popeseesyou.jpg

Joshzilla
10-20-2005, 05:32 AM
I zoo trip like once a week....usually so I can go to sleep.

It's a bitch if you're a stomach sleeper and you can get comfy cause you're...propped up by it. Gotta do whatcha gotta do.

TheGibson
10-20-2005, 05:37 AM
Are you kids serious?

Doesn't it get raw after that many?


You're doing it wrong then.


Or you're not using Crisco. One or the other.

Joshzilla
10-20-2005, 05:40 AM
You're doing it wrong then.


Or you're not using Crisco. One or the other.

Friction plus Crisco would smell all buttery and make me want a grilled cheese.

moonspider
10-20-2005, 05:43 AM
BUKKAKE!!

BrianS
10-20-2005, 06:14 AM
Probably 2-3 times a week, plus sex about 3-4 times a week...
Sometimes more or less for both...

jenifu
10-20-2005, 06:55 AM
I don't. There's no point.

i can't tell if you're serious or kidding.

Deceleration_Trauma
10-20-2005, 07:22 AM
I can see no logical reason to cut down on masturbating. Unless you're going to be donating sperm, that is.

Mmmmm ... sperm.

Jew Mafia
10-20-2005, 07:24 AM
personal best was 9 back in hs. only once in awhile nowadays with the g/f around.

tjtolosa
10-20-2005, 07:35 AM
Back in High School at least 2 times a day... now that I'm married about 2-4 times a week depending on if I'm getting any from the wife... :grope:

mayhemspider
10-20-2005, 07:52 AM
my personal best was like 5 in a day. back in hs everyone used to joke that i had a 3 a day quota. its not innaccurate. now that i've got my gf, its roughly 1-2 times a day on monday through thursday and she takes over once a day on friday- sunday, since i only see her on the weekends.

DaGetHighKnight
10-20-2005, 08:23 AM
Im taking notes on all you motherfuckers so If I meet you I know whos hand not to shake!!

tjtolosa
10-20-2005, 10:42 AM
Im taking notes on all you motherfuckers so If I meet you I know whos hand not to shake!!
:rofl:

The-Last-Man
10-20-2005, 10:46 AM
This thread should be stickied...or on second thoughs, stickied is probably the wrong word to use...

I probably beat the meat every other day or so...

Rick_O
10-20-2005, 11:13 AM
Masturbation breeds bad luck.

Brian Defferding
10-20-2005, 11:23 AM
Im taking notes on all you motherfuckers so If I meet you I know whos hand not to shake!!

HAW!

Shwicaz
10-20-2005, 11:38 AM
Okay, Schwicaz...I've gotta know. Does it make that sprinkler sound? Y'know...thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk, thuk...chikachikachikachikachika. If not, it will in your head from now thanks to me!





actually, I was thinking more along the lines of this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/shwicaz/3652273iA63UC142153M.jpg

Joshzilla
10-20-2005, 11:50 AM
actually, I was thinking more along the lines of this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/shwicaz/3652273iA63UC142153M.jpg

Bwah ha ha ha! The expression on that thing says it all.

The Girl
10-20-2005, 11:56 AM
i can't tell if you're serious or kidding.

No, I seriously don't. Anorgasmia sucks.

jenifu
10-20-2005, 12:13 PM
No, I seriously don't. Anorgasmia sucks.

wow. i just had to google that.

i don't want to be wicked invasive, but...is this treatable in some way?

sto110
10-20-2005, 12:29 PM
a couple times a week, but since i got married it is less. because of the regular sex and because it is weird if she is in the house, i am rarely alone

The Girl
10-20-2005, 12:40 PM
wow. i just had to google that.

i don't want to be wicked invasive, but...is this treatable in some way?

I don't know. Mine was caused by one of two things (or both). Psychological trauma (where i would really just need to "let go") or from being on antidepressants for so long (since i was around 11). After I read that my medication could have been the cause of it, I stopped taking that specific one (prozac), but it hasn't stopped yet. I'm seeing my psychiatrist on November 1st, and I'm considering swallowing my pride and asking him about it.

It'll be a little awkward, though, since I've been seeing him since I was 11.

Dread Pirate Wren
10-20-2005, 12:43 PM
I don't know. Mine was caused by one of two things (or both). Psychological trauma (where i would really just need to "let go") or from being on antidepressants for so long (since i was around 11). After I read that my medication could have been the cause of it, I stopped taking that specific one (prozac), but it hasn't stopped yet. I'm seeing my psychiatrist on November 1st, and I'm considering swallowing my pride and asking him about it.

It'll be a little awkward, though, since I've been seeing him since I was 11.

Hon, that sounds like sheer hell. You've got all my sympathies...and I hope you and your doc. can figure something out soon.

PeterSparker
10-20-2005, 12:49 PM
whenever Jonny posts that picture of the big beautiful blonde on all fours that he has

jenifu
10-20-2005, 12:50 PM
I don't know. Mine was caused by one of two things (or both). Psychological trauma (where i would really just need to "let go") or from being on antidepressants for so long (since i was around 11). After I read that my medication could have been the cause of it, I stopped taking that specific one (prozac), but it hasn't stopped yet. I'm seeing my psychiatrist on November 1st, and I'm considering swallowing my pride and asking him about it.

It'll be a little awkward, though, since I've been seeing him since I was 11.

it will be almost definitely be awkward for you...but i'm certain he'll be a consummate and knowledgable professional, especially with his extensive knowledge of your personal history. and i'm sure he'll be able to help. it sounds to me like you are definitely due to talk about it...it's very, very important, and will probably only become more so.

good luck with it, hon.

CARSON
10-20-2005, 12:53 PM
man you guys sure are horny. I'm a teenager, hormones and all, and I gotta say that's a LOT of pleasuring yourself.

twigglet
10-20-2005, 12:56 PM
Around 4 times a week.

Pretty crappy for a guy in high school I supopse.

CARSON
10-20-2005, 12:56 PM
it will be almost definitely be awkward for you...but i'm certain he'll be a consummate and knowledgable professional, especially with his extensive knowledge of your personal history. and i'm sure he'll be able to help. it sounds to me like you are definitely due to talk about it...it's very, very important, and will probably only become more so.

good luck with it, hon.
I agree. It'll be awkward but it seems like something that needs to be discussed. Good luck.

PeterSparker
10-20-2005, 12:59 PM
it will be almost definitely be awkward for you...but i'm certain he'll be a consummate and knowledgable professional, especially with his extensive knowledge of your personal history. and i'm sure he'll be able to help. it sounds to me like you are definitely due to talk about it...it's very, very important, and will probably only become more so.

good luck with it, hon.

very good advice

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
10-20-2005, 01:10 PM
...

...

... how often do you...

... stimulate...

... yourself.

I ask because, I'm trying to cut back. I read somewhere that it's helpful to you if you do, as it allows you to "harness you sex drive", or something like that. So, I'm trying to cut back to once a week.

It's...

... well, it's not going well, let's just say that.
If you can't say it, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.

The Girl
10-20-2005, 01:35 PM
it will be almost definitely be awkward for you...but i'm certain he'll be a consummate and knowledgable professional, especially with his extensive knowledge of your personal history. and i'm sure he'll be able to help. it sounds to me like you are definitely due to talk about it...it's very, very important, and will probably only become more so.

good luck with it, hon.

Thanks. I'm gonna need it. :D