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View Full Version : Blasphemy thread version 3.0: The Catagorical Blasphemy



Angel of Distraction
09-20-2005, 08:24 PM
Just what the title says: the twist is, pick one of the subjects from the category selector and tear into it. One category per post.

AAAAAND start.

I'm starting with video games.

Chrono Cross had it all over Chrono Trigger. When you haver such a leap in technology and memory, you have to expect a game ten times better, and that's what it was.

Mario just doesn't work entirely right in 3D.

Zelda works better in 3D.

Tony Hawk games are meant to work in the presence of others and are otherwise just kinda boring.

Tetris is not the most addictive puzzler ever made. That title belongs to Marble Madness.

The original Final Fantasy isn't anything special.

Speaking of Final Fantasy, #9 is better than #7. But still not as good as #6.

Battletoads wasn't that great a game and does not need to be ressurected.

If you beat Kid Icarus without cheating, you're lying (this is more of a universal truth).

And last but not least, Twisted Metal is vastly overrated.

Amos Moses
09-20-2005, 08:25 PM
Battletoads wasn't that great a game and does not need to be ressurected.

And last but not least, Twisted Metal is vastly overrated.

FUCK YOU!

Angel of Distraction
09-20-2005, 08:28 PM
FUCK YOU!

DON'T BREAK THE GODDAMNED RULES OR I'LL BREAK YOUR GODDAMNED LEGs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

Amos Moses
09-20-2005, 08:30 PM
DON'T BREAK THE GODDAMNED RULES OR I'LL BREAK YOUR GODDAMNED LEGs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:


I am so setting you up the bomb.

Angel of Distraction
09-20-2005, 08:36 PM
I am so setting you up the bomb.

Here's one on books:

The Da Vinci Code sucks all kinds of ass. It might be the single worst book I've ever read in ym life, and I've read some pretty shitty books.

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish is very mediocre compared to the rest of the trilogy.

Angel of Distraction
09-20-2005, 09:51 PM
bump

Blandy vs Terrorism
09-20-2005, 10:26 PM
Here's one on books:

The Da Vinci Code sucks all kinds of ass. It might be the single worst book I've ever read in ym life, and I've read some pretty shitty books.
It's not really blasphemy if most of the people here agree with it.

The Human Target
09-20-2005, 10:30 PM
It's not really blasphemy if most of the people here agree with it.

The worst book ever? Hardly.

Frozen Sooner
09-20-2005, 10:31 PM
Movies:

Gladiator is overacted overdirected shit.

The Coen Brothers have made three very good movies and a bunch of very average ones.

Team America wasn't all that funny.

Blandy vs Terrorism
09-20-2005, 10:32 PM
The worst book ever? Hardly.
Not necessarily that it's the worst book ever. But I've seen a lot of distaste for it, and brought back when the movie was announced.

The Human Target
09-20-2005, 10:35 PM
Hmmmmmmmm.....

Tim Burton is all style and zero substance.

Return of the Jedi is actually better than Empire.

The X-Men and Spider-Man movies, will entertaining, aren't good representations of the comic and are full of plot holes and bits of inconsistancy.

Also, the old Superman movies are ass.

Pauly Shore is actuualy very charismatic.

The Human Target
09-20-2005, 10:36 PM
Not necessarily that it's the worst book ever. But I've seen a lot of distaste for it, and brought back when the movie was announced.

Thats true. That post was much dickier than I intended. I don't know why. I thnk I was made at Auron for his "worst book ever" comment when its so obviously false even from his own point of view.

Angel of Distraction
09-20-2005, 11:28 PM
Thats true. That post was much dickier than I intended. I don't know why. I thnk I was made at Auron for his "worst book ever" comment when its so obviously false even from his own point of view.

How is it false from my point of view? I would even pick books I didn't like but know were well written over that piece of crap.

Caley Tibbittz
09-20-2005, 11:35 PM
Hmmmmmmmm.....

Tim Burton is all style and zero substance.Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood are not "zero substance"...
Return of the Jedi is actually better than Empire.This really is blasphemy...:shock:

The X-Men and Spider-Man movies, will entertaining, aren't good representations of the comic and are full of plot holes and bits of inconsistancy.This is true... although Spider-Man is one of the greatest movies ever made anyway...

Also, the old Superman movies are ass.Hmmm... I liked 2 better than 1...

Pauly Shore is actuualy very charismatic.I liked him on Futurama...

The Roman Candle
11-29-2005, 09:53 AM
The best computer animated feature out of dreamworks still isn't half as good as the worst feature from Pixar.

RøcketFrøg
11-29-2005, 09:55 AM
It's fantastic that cartoon animals don't have to wear pants like the rest of us.

Joshzilla
11-29-2005, 10:18 AM
Not necessarily that it's the worst book ever. But I've seen a lot of distaste for it, and brought back when the movie was announced.

And yet it's been on the bestseller list how long now? If I could write a book that sucked that bad, I'd die a happy man.

The Roman Candle
11-29-2005, 10:20 AM
Warren Ellis > Grant Morrison.

Joshzilla
11-29-2005, 10:24 AM
Return of the Jedi is actually better than Empire.

The X-Men and Spider-Man movies, will entertaining, aren't good representations of the comic and are full of plot holes and bits of inconsistancy.

Also, the old Superman movies are ass.



Huh? Wha? Whoziwhat? Please tell me it was sarcasm. Jedi...better than Empire?

The X-Men movies may be pretty different from the comics, but they mostly get the characters right on (but Halle Berry needs to disappear). Spider-Man is a pretty damn good example of the books in my opinion. It may not be the comics in moving pictures, but it boils it down into a delicious Spider-man gravy.

Okay, Superman 3 & 4 were ass, but the first 2 were pretty great.

Joshzilla
11-29-2005, 10:25 AM
Canada has better healthcare than America.

Angel of Distraction
11-29-2005, 01:13 PM
The worst book ever? Hardly.

Maybe. It was an idea fleshed out into a bad novel.

Angel of Distraction
11-29-2005, 01:14 PM
The best computer animated feature out of dreamworks still isn't half as good as the worst feature from Pixar.

Shrek is better than A Bug's Life, but otherwise I agree.

Angel of Distraction
11-29-2005, 01:16 PM
Canada has better healthcare than America.

Silly, everyone knows that.

Here we go: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King video game was way too hard. They inserted bits that weren't in the movie to make it harder, and that sucks. The escape from the land of the dead was impossible.

AAlgar
11-29-2005, 01:20 PM
The best computer animated feature out of dreamworks still isn't half as good as the worst feature from Pixar.

I didn't expect word problems. :?

King of Mars
11-29-2005, 06:09 PM
Movies:

Gladiator is overacted overdirected shit.Totally agree.

Joshzilla
11-30-2005, 05:46 AM
Silly, everyone knows that.

Here we go: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King video game was way too hard. They inserted bits that weren't in the movie to make it harder, and that sucks. The escape from the land of the dead was impossible.

Yeah, everyone knows that, but we're a superpower...they're Canada. It's blasphemy that that's how it is.

jason hissong
11-30-2005, 05:49 AM
The Da Vinci Code is absolute shit. Probably not the worst book I've ever read, but shit none-the-less.

-jason

joeAR
11-30-2005, 06:13 AM
Superman 2 is the single worst movie ever made.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 06:39 AM
Mario just doesn't work entirely right in 3D.
wrong


Zelda works better in 3D.
Right


Tony Hawk games are meant to work in the presence of others and are otherwise just kinda boring.
I say that about all sports games


Tetris is not the most addictive puzzler ever made. That title belongs to Marble Madness.
Lies on top of lies. With a few lies thrown in for good measure


Battletoads wasn't that great a game and does not need to be ressurected.
WRONG! The fighting levels were great. The spelunking levels, and the raceing I can do without. But the fighting was fun.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 06:42 AM
Here's one on books:

The Da Vinci Code sucks all kinds of ass. It might be the single worst book I've ever read in ym life, and I've read some pretty shitty books.
Agreed. awful, awful book.


So Long and Thanks for all the Fish is very mediocre compared to the rest of the trilogy.
Is that the third one? I got bored about halfway through the third one, and never bothered to finish the series. (Though I like the idea of bistro math). I'll finish it eventualy, though. If I can finish God Emporer of Dune, I can finish anything.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 06:43 AM
The Coen Brothers have made three very good movies and a bunch of very average ones.
You're wrong, but just out of curiosity, which 3?


Team America wasn't all that funny.
It's not up to par with South Park, but it certianly has it's moments.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 06:46 AM
Return of the Jedi is actually better than Empire.
Return of the Jedi is crap. The second worst Star Wars movie.


The X-Men and Spider-Man movies, will entertaining, aren't good representations of the comic and are full of plot holes and bits of inconsistancy.
Spider-Man, yes. X-Men, no. Ironic, because I love Spider-Man comics, and hate X-Men.




Pauly Shore is actuualy very charismatic.
He had his moments.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 06:48 AM
The best computer animated feature out of dreamworks still isn't half as good as the worst feature from Pixar.

I've made BMs that are better than Deamworks cartoons.

Angel of Distraction
11-30-2005, 08:53 AM
Is that the third one? I got bored about halfway through the third one, and never bothered to finish the series. (Though I like the idea of bistro math). I'll finish it eventualy, though. If I can finish God Emporer of Dune, I can finish anything.

Nope, fourth. How can you get board with #3????

Angel of Distraction
11-30-2005, 08:56 AM
WRONG! The fighting levels were great. The spelunking levels, and the raceing I can do without. But the fighting was fun.

Sorry! Here's your consolation prize: *SLAP*

It was good in the day. If you're not Peanut and you go back and play it now, the piss-poor controls and jerky hit detection stand out like a sore thumb. The brawler in general has gone the way of the dinosaur, and good riddance. It should be left in our memories where it belongs.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 12:36 PM
Nope, fourth. How can you get board with #3????


I dunno. I think I was all Hitch-hiked out. I saw the movie, the TV show, the radio, and the first two books over 2 weeks.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 12:37 PM
Sorry! Here's your consolation prize: *SLAP*

It was good in the day. If you're not Peanut and you go back and play it now, the piss-poor controls and jerky hit detection stand out like a sore thumb. The brawler in general has gone the way of the dinosaur, and good riddance. It should be left in our memories where it belongs.

I play it on my emulator all the time. Fighting frogs, how can you go wrong?

Angel of Distraction
11-30-2005, 09:48 PM
I play it on my emulator all the time. Fighting frogs, how can you go wrong?

Easily, when the NES and SNES had three much better games with fighting turtles that were ripped off for the fighting toads.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 10:04 PM
Easily, when the NES and SNES had three much better games with fighting turtles that were ripped off for the fighting toads.
The first NES Ninja Turtles game was good, the rest are all the same. Garbage

The Roman Candle
11-30-2005, 10:20 PM
The first NES Ninja Turtles game was good, the rest are all the same. Garbage

Hey, don't forget Turtle-flavored Street Fighter!

http://www.juegomania.org/Teenage+Mutant+Ninja+Turtles:+Tournament+Fighters/fotos/snes/2/2281_c/Caratula+Teenage+Mutant+Ninja+Turtles:+Tournament+ Fighters.jpg

My stepbrother and I still play that shit all the damn time.

Angel of Distraction
11-30-2005, 10:21 PM
The first NES Ninja Turtles game was good, the rest are all the same. Garbage

See, in this you are just wrong. Your ability to ignore the perfect control of the Turtles and the piss poor control of the toads is bewildering.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 10:38 PM
Hey, don't forget Turtle-flavored Street Fighter!

http://www.juegomania.org/Teenage+Mutant+Ninja+Turtles:+Tournament+Fighters/fotos/snes/2/2281_c/Caratula+Teenage+Mutant+Ninja+Turtles:+Tournament+ Fighters.jpg

My stepbrother and I still play that shit all the damn time.

I try to. Every day of my life.

Flonk
11-30-2005, 10:40 PM
See, in this you are just wrong. Your ability to ignore the perfect control of the Turtles and the piss poor control of the toads is bewildering.


I liked Turtles in Time....

Adam Witt
11-30-2005, 10:44 PM
Star Wars got fucked up the moment the word Midichlorians was uttered.

Chrono Cross is indeed better than Chrono Trigger. God help me, I agree with Auron.

Metal Gear Solid 3 is the most boring game ever. I fell asleep twice during the first CODEC conversation. And MSG2 is my favorite game ever.

Everyone > Grant Morrison

Carlos Pacheco > every other artist for Marvel or DC [Pacheco is amazing]

Timesplitters: Future Perfect makes Halo 2 look like Barney's Great Adventure. Halo is great, but vastly overrated by people who haven't played the alternatives.

Pepsi > Coke

I'll think of more later...

Adam Witt
11-30-2005, 10:45 PM
Not necessarily catagorical [izzat a word?!], but I don't care.