Ask the King of Ass!

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Got any ass related questions? Here's where we talk ass.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

this needs to be a sticky

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

this needs to be a sticky
Done.

[Boss Hogg]

.... whose is your favorite?

[mario]

what do you prefer: a sticky ass or a dry one?

[Taki Soma]

shine it like you mean it.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

what do you prefer: a sticky ass or a dry one?

Dry on the outside, polished on the inside.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

shine it like you mean it.

You shine it dear!

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

.... whose is your favorite?

The pink one. With the bleached asshole.

[GelfXIII]

How many different breeds of ass are you personally familiar with?

Here are some pointers:
Breed Characteristics

The Ass is a cross between a donkey stallion (called a jack) and a horse mare. Hinnies are just the opposite - a stallion horse crossed to a donkey jennet. For all purposes, hinnies and asses are classified and shown together under the general term Ass. Asses' ears are usually somewhat smaller than a donkeys, longer but the same shape as the horse parents.

The asses’ conformation will be a combination of traits from both parents. The head, hip and legs usually take after the jack. Asses do not have pronounced arches to the neck, even from breeds such as Arabians or Warmbloods. A slight arch or straight neck is preferable to a ewe, or upward curved neck.

The Ass will have "combination hair," usually a thin forelock, coarse mane hair, and a tail more like the horse parent. Both asses and donkeys are shown with a variety of hairstyles from clipped to shaved (roached). Asses may wear their tails "belled" as decoration, left long and full, or clipped at the top to emphasize the shape of the hip.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

How many different breeds of ass are you personally familiar with?


One.
The one that puts out.

[X arseface X]

I think I'm going to stop posting on the Bendis board and hang out here... This seems to be where the shit goes down.

[Ravengregory]

best thread ever

[Pat Loika]

Who coined the term 'king of ass'...and why can't it be your official board title?

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Who coined the term 'king of ass'...and why can't it be your official board title?

P.
I can't remember, I think it was that pesky Soma chick.

[Taki Soma]

I can't remember, I think it was that pesky Soma chick.
you do too remember, and you know you love that I pester you

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

you do too remember, and you know you love that I pester you

I can't say I'm far behind, but since this is the ass thread, I am behind close enough.

[Pat Loika]

I can't remember, I think it was that pesky Soma chick.

I see. I thought it was that Goddard guy who did. But it works out just the same. What type of ass are you in to?

P.

[Brandon191]

I see. I thought it was that Goddard guy who did. But it works out just the same. What type of ass are you in to?

P.

With the proper lubricant, I'm guessing any.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I see. I thought it was that Goddard guy who did. But it works out just the same. What type of ass are you in to?

P.

Here comes Taki police.

What type of ass are you in to?
P.

The one that comes with hot friends and a MILF.

[Pat Loika]

The one that comes with hot friends and a MILF.


I can get down with that.

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I can get down with that.

P.

I'm glad we have something in common.

[Jake]

My ass liege, does the size of one's ass factor in whether you'd think of kicking it or kissing it? (not saying you'd do either - just curious on what you'd THINK of doing.)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

My ass liege, does the size of one's ass factor in whether you'd think of kicking it or kissing it? (not saying you'd do either - just curious on what you'd THINK of doing.)

SIze is an obstacle. The bigger the ass the less sensitivity it has. What's the point of kicking or kissing when no results will be satisfactory.
If you have a big ass, I'll kick you in the balls.

[Jake]

Oh my god, that's got to be one of the most intelligent things I've heard all week - seriously! *lol*

[Dennis K]

Any hot up and comers in the world of ass? Who's number one with a bullet so to speak.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Any hot up and comers in the world of ass? Who's number one with a bullet so to speak.

I can't tell you that, I'm a married man.

[GelfXIII]

As King of ass, do you demand subject asses pay homage? What would an appropriate Ass gift be?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

As King of ass, do you demand subject asses pay homage? What would an appropriate Ass gift be?

Plug.

[GelfXIII]

Ouch. You are not a benevolent monarch, are you? :lol:

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Ouch. You are not a benevolent monarch, are you? :lol:

I rule with the tool in hand.

[Dennis K]

I can't tell you that, I'm a married man.


Just because you've already ordered doesn't mean you can't look through the menu.

[Pat Loika]

I'm glad we have something in common.

Agreed, but I have the bigger ass.

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Just because you've already ordered doesn't mean you can't look through the menu.

I love saying that myself :)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Agreed, but I have the bigger ass.

P.

I can rule a large kingdom, no problem.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Who coined the term 'king of ass'...and why can't it be your official board title?

P.
i was the first to point out that our Mr. Maleev enjoys talking about eating ass, and that he does it quite a bit

i believe that Soma chick was the first to refer to him with the now official moniker

[the last ronin]

How does one "drop it like it's hot"?

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

How does one "drop it like it's hot"?
i will never be able to hear that song again with out thinking of people pooing
thank you

[MentalPatient]

Who, exactly, is the king of your ass?
What can you tell us of Bendis' ass?

[Persevering Guy]

trimming/shaving? what's the best method to get rid of that pesky taint hair?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

How does one "drop it like it's hot"?
Push.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

trimming/shaving? what's the best method to get rid of that pesky taint hair?
Pluck the rebels.

[Brandon191]

Can I call myself the Prince of Ass?

[St.-]

Hotdog or hamburger style?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Can I call myself the Prince of Ass?

No, you have to earn your name.

[Persevering Guy]

Hotdog or hamburger style?
ooh, i know this..

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

ooh, i know this..
Care to enlighten us?

[icemanx62]

I'm will refer to you as the King Of Ass at the next Big Apple Con.

[Persevering Guy]

Care to enlighten us?
An ex used to say, "you wanna make hotdogs?"

it was good times.

[St.-]

An ex used to say, "you wanna make hotdogs?"

it was good times.

I was surprised the king had never heard of it. ;-)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I was surprised the king had never heard of it. ;-)

That's why my kingdom is so great, the King reaches out for the knowledge of the common folks to expand his own wisdom.


P.S. and to break language barriers as well.....

[St.-]

That's why my kingdom is so great, the King reaches out for the knowledge of the common folks to expand his own wisdom.


P.S. and to break language barriers as well.....

nice.

Will there be a army?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

nice.

Will there be a army?

Army of ASS.
That's also the preproduction title of the movie.

[St.-]

Army of ASS.
That's also the preproduction title of the movie.

There better be KISS style belt buckels or I'm not joining.

[GelfXIII]

Can I be cast as the grouchy, tough-as-nails but heart-of-gold type mess Sergeant?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I'm gonna need to see a resume first.

[Boss Hogg]

This is going to be the best Seymore butts/Maleev production in years. Hail to thee king of ass and your new court jester.

I would also like a belt buckle.... what can I say i like free....shit

[St.-]

Best of Marvel, DC, Darkhorse and Image?

[Dennis K]

Oh wise King of Ass

Why was Foggy never given a golden shower?

[Boss Hogg]

Would you ever allow yourself or partner to deliver or recieve a cleavland steamer?

[Dennis K]

Is a dirty sanchez an appropiate third date gift?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Is a dirty sanchez an appropiate third date gift?
Only if you're going out with Condi Rice.

[St.-]

Best of Marvel, DC, Darkhorse and Image?

I thought all questions were concerning the junk in the trunk? Guess my question was stupid and hard to understand. :sad:

So how is working on spiderwoman's "form" been?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I thought all questions were concerning the junk in the trunk? Guess my question was stupid and hard to understand. :sad:

So how is working on spiderwoman's "form" been?

Hardening.

[dEnny!]

Hardening.

*groan...that's what SHE said!

[dEnny!]

Alex are you taking a vacation/holiday between your last issue of DD and starting up on Spider-Woman?

[St.-]

Alex are you taking a vacation/holiday between your last issue of DD and starting up on Spider-Woman?

He's moving so i wouldn't call it a vacation. :cry:


So Alex are we going to see so more boundaries being broken in the art style for Spider-woman or are you playing it safe for awhile?

[dEnny!]

He's moving so i wouldn't call it a vacation. :cry:


So Alex are we going to see so more boundaries being broken in the art style for Spider-woman or are you playing it safe for awhile?

Hey buddy this is "Ask the King of Ass" and I know the King of Ass and you sir are no King of Ass! :p

[St.-]

Hey buddy this is "Ask the King of Ass" and I know the King of Ass and you sir are no King of Ass! :p

The King does not wish to address one as low as you so he has his belt buckel sporting army do it. ;)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

He's moving so i wouldn't call it a vacation. :cry:


So Alex are we going to see so more boundaries being broken in the art style for Spider-woman or are you playing it safe for awhile?

I honestly don't know yet.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Alex are you taking a vacation/holiday between your last issue of DD and starting up on Spider-Woman?


I am Denny, 2 months off.

[Boss Hogg]

Do you believe "the sneaky butcher" is a great way to break up with someone?

[Woomba]

Do you believe "the sneaky butcher" is a great way to break up with someone?
Not before you hold her like a bowling ball first.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Not before you hold her like a bowling ball first.
Hey!!! That's my line you little pink plagiarist!!!

[Pat Loika]

will you be my friend, King of Ass?

P.

[Dennis K]

Only if you're going out with Condi Rice.

HA! Shows what you know, that was a first date gift when we were seeing each other.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

HA! Shows what you know, that was a first date gift when we were seeing each other.

Tell us more about what she likes.

[Dennis K]

Tell us more about what she likes.


Have you heard about my spikey dildo collection? Anyway, I had to end it when she kept calling me Alex.

[tjtolosa]

I keep thinking that nothing surprises me anymore, but the more time I spend on the Bendis Boards, the more I am proven wrong... :surrend:

[Brandon191]

Lube or saliva?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Lube or saliva?

Both.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Have you heard about my spikey dildo collection? Anyway, I had to end it when she kept calling me Alex.

This bud is where you start it, not end it.

[Boss Hogg]

he is only a subject of the kingdom of ass sir, he did not know all the ins and outs

[Dennis K]

he is only a subject of the kingdom of ass sir, he did not know all the ins and outs

Sad but true, my technique could use some improvement.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Sad but true, my technique could use some improvement.
There's always room for expansion.

[Pat Loika]

The king missed my question... :p

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

The king missed my question... :p

P.

Sorry bud. Friendships aren't arranged, they are made. Let's make one.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

The king missed my question... :p

P.

You are better off without the moustache. I think Soma looks like a constipated Michael Jackson on your sig photo.

[Pat Loika]

Sorry bud. Friendships aren't arranged, they are made. Let's make one.

Good. :)

P.

[Pat Loika]

You are better off without the moustache. I think Soma looks like a constipated Michael Jackson on your sig photo.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

P.

[Taki Soma]

You are better off without the moustache. I think Soma looks like a constipated Michael Jackson on your sig photo.I always look like that

[Pat Loika]

I always look like that

Seconded. :scared:

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I always look like that

I think you should borrow Pat's mustache to complement your wry look.
And tell me Goddard doesn't have his hands on you tits in that picture.

[Taki Soma]

I think you should borrow Pat's mustache to complement your wry look.
And tell me Goddard doesn't have his hands on you tits in that picture.
I'll complement your face! :mad:

(that didn't come out the way I had hoped)

if he did have his hands on my ... thingies, he'd be dead by now

and buried

and incinerated

[Pat Loika]

I think you should borrow Pat's mustache to complement your wry look.
And tell me Goddard doesn't have his hands on you tits in that picture.

I have the mustache in a baggy somewhere, but I think Trillian wanted to borrow it.

P.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I'll complement your face! :mad:

(that didn't come out the way I had hoped)

if he did have his hands on my ... thingies, he'd be dead by now

and buried

and incinerated

You are always welcome to compliment me and my face. :lol:
That's hawt.

[Taki Soma]

You are always welcome to compliment me and my face. :lol:
That's hawt.
:ecstatic:

[St.-]

can recommend some wine? cheap would be nice.

[Dennis K]

There's always room for expansion.

WHAT?!? Size matters here too? Damn it to Hell!!!

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

WHAT?!? Size matters here too? Damn it to Hell!!!
Helloooo? Of course it matters. :roll:

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

can recommend some wine? cheap would be nice.
Dude, you should know you local pino noirs.

[Dennis K]

Helloooo? Of course it matters. :roll:

Oh great, as if I didn't have enough problems, now I have to worry about my tongue being inadequate. :scared:

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Oh great, as if I didn't have enough problems, now I have to worry about my tongue being inadequate. :scared:
You better make it up elsewhere.

[St.-]

Dude, you should know you local pino noirs.

That's why i asked you. :) So whats a good rule of thumb for alchol contant?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

That's why i asked you. :) So whats a good rule of thumb for alchol contant?
Ask at the store, that's what I do. My favorite pinot is Cloudline.

[the last ronin]

What's your favorite drink to get in the mood?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

What's your favorite drink to get in the mood?

Glenfiddich 15 years old.

[GelfXIII]

Did you know your middle name is an adverb?*







*(obscure movie reference, sorry.)

[Dennis K]

You better make it up elsewhere.

I'm guessing an above average vocabulary combined with witty conversation isn't what you have in mind.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I'm guessing an above average vocabulary combine with witty conversation isn't what you have in mind.
That could get you talking about it, but hardly doing it.

[Dennis K]

That could get you talking about it, but hardly doing it.


The King has decreed; less talk, more action!

[PeterSparker]

Here is my humble offering to the king...


http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/ssazz/assshaking.gif

(if you're gonna have an ass, have a nice big one I always say!) 8)

[AvidFan]

I'm getting quite addicted to this wee scottish hunnies ass myself!

www.bethscurves.com (www.bethscurves.com)


grrrrrrrrr
AF.

[Dennis K]

Here is my humble offering to the king...


http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/ssazz/assshaking.gif

(if you're gonna have an ass, have a nice big one I always say!) 8)


Bigger is not always better, yikes.

[Mike Steckler]

Check out this ass!!!!

http://comicartfans.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Page=2&Order=Date&Piece=8582&GSub=12792&GCat=0&UCat=0 (http://comicartfans.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Page=2&Order=Date&Piece=8582&GSub=12792&GCat=0&UCat=0)

Mike

[Mike Steckler]

A special thanks goes out to Taki Soma for pointing out that ass!!! ;-)

Mike

[GelfXIII]

I have found the theme song to this thread!!!



Hey! do you know what you are?
You're an asshole! an asshole!

Some of you might not agree
'cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you?re an asshole...

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to the grape,
Just to give it a try
.........................And dagmar
.........................Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One two three four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
.......................And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
........................Let's talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
And so you kissed a little sailor
........................Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
Who had just blew in from spain
........................Sir richard pump-a-loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
.......................The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
.......................Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
.......................Then on tuesday night, ceasar's back in town
In a way you can't explain
.......................Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
.......................With kona.
And so you worked the wall with michael
.......................Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
.......................Volcanic hell
But you came back on sunday for the gong show
.......................Next thursday, teen town's finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin?
'cause you're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Now you been to the grape 'n' you been to the chest
'n' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin? at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist f**k
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)

Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...

[AvidFan]

yup! you can always rely on Frank to have something in his collection to suit every occassion!!! he really is just like hallmark! lol


AF.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I have found the theme song to this thread!!!
I think I'm gonna get that song now. Thanks for sharing.

[DrMachine]

all hail to the king of ass

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

all hail to the king of ass

Long live!

[PeterSparker]

Bigger is not always better, yikes.

Yeah, its a big 'ol booty ain't it?

I just found that one night online, and figured I had to post it here. :)


So what say you King, too much junk in that trunk?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Yeah, its a big 'ol booty ain't it?

I just found that one night online, and figured I had to post it here. :)


So what say you King, too much junk in that trunk?


I prefer the excessive junk to be up at the terrace, not in the basement.

[Boss Hogg]

But your Highness, if your prefer tons of junk in at the terrace, must the basement meet your royal requirements?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

But your Highness, if your prefer tons of junk in at the terrace, must the basement meet your royal requirements?
Could a great terrace exist without a great foundation?

[Boss Hogg]

Oh grand master ass, your wisdom knows no bounds. Does the master have any ideas of techniques as to not damage that holy foundation?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Oh grand master ass, your wisdom knows no bounds. Does the master have any ideas of techniques as to not damage that holy foundation?

Plenty of astroglide and start sideways for greater control.

[Hollingsworth]

Da li razumijete Hrvatksi?

;-)

-M

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Da li razumijete Hrvatksi?

;-)

-M

I see you're serious about it. We gonna have a goooood time.

[Hollingsworth]

Yeah, fer sure. The language class is slow as it's only 90 minutes/week. But, I figure I have some time, if we're going in June. So, should at least be able to ask for a beer and where the bathroom is and a buncha other shit. Adventures on the Adriatic!

-M

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Yeah, fer sure. The language class is slow as it's only 90 minutes/week. But, I figure I have some time, if we're going in June. So, should at least be able to ask for a beer and where the bathroom is and a buncha other shit. Adventures on the Adriatic!

-M

Yeah, I'm into the other shit as well....

[St.-]

Meg White?

http://www.whitestripes.net/downloads.php (http://www.whitestripes.net/downloads.php)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Meg White?

http://www.whitestripes.net/downloads.php (http://www.whitestripes.net/downloads.php)
What the fuck???

[St.-]

What the fuck???

http://whitestripes.perfectgroup.net/scans/rollingstone/rs_aus_615july03_pg2.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nottingham/music/2004/01/images/white_stripes_nottingham_300.jpg

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Not my type. :sad:

[ds9]

Alex what are your favorite artists that are currently drawing comics right now?

[Olivier E.]

Da li razumijete Hrvatksi?

;-)

-M

Have you :dunno: (sounds like rumgemacht, german for petting) Croatia?

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

if i ever visit you in your home, may i bring thick cotton socks to slide around in?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

if i ever visit you in your home, may i bring thick cotton socks to slide around in?
Don't crash into my wife, she does that all the time. Wool socks are better.

[Boss Hogg]

Meg has the nice ass your majesty, though this subject fancies his crippled drummers (def leppard jokes maybe posted toanother thread)

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Don't crash into my wife, she does that all the time. Wool socks are better.
would you or your wife mind if i borrow a pair of wool socks?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Absolutely not. Just don't tuch my tube amplifier and the car keys.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Absolutely not. Just don't tuch my tube amplifier and the car keys.
*running start*

....


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.. ...........

[deadshot]

Ever used an Anal Spittoon? Do you like "cream pies"?

[Hot Pink]

do you like it when people show you their genitals at cons?

are you willing to sign them?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Ever used an Anal Spittoon? Do you like "cream pies"?
Only to watch. ;-)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

do you like it when people show you their genitals at cons?

are you willing to sign them?
What are you? A short or a long signature.

[Boss Hogg]

www.analringtoss (www.analringtoss) dot com, thoughts your highness.

[Pat Loika]

How's it going?

P.

[Hot Pink]

What are you? A short or a long signature.
a slightly above average signature.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

who's better looking in person, Angelina Jolie or Gwennith Paltrow?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

who's better looking in person, Angelina Jolie or Gwennith Paltrow?
Uma.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Uma.
i didn't ask about Uma, now did i?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

i didn't ask about Uma, now did i?
You don't always get what you ask for. In this case you should be happy to get Uma.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

are you ever concerned if your wife ever meets anyone from the board, if they'll be unconciously looking for a slight limp?

[GelfXIII]

Mind if I ask you a non- ass related question?

Do you?

[CVila]

...Just don't touch my tube amplifier...
Single-ended or push-pull?
It sounds like I'm talking about ass but I'm not...really..

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Single-ended or push-pull?
It sounds like I'm talking about ass but I'm not...really..
I don't know. I just know it sounds amazing.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Mind if I ask you a non- ass related question?

Do you?
Go.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

are you ever concerned if your wife ever meets anyone from the board, if they'll be unconciously looking for a slight limp?
I doubt that.

[GelfXIII]

Go.

... I got nothing.

[ds9]

Alex do you really hate doing audio interviews? I think you have alot of valid opinions that fans would love to hear. I know im the hater but honestly i like your art and i think more people should hear about your influences.

[who cares?]

hey Alex, you were asking for some electronic music a while back...

check out Hacker and Simulationszeitalter by Anthony Rother...


i dont know if it's something you'd like, but.... i think you might... (it's nothing like Jarre if that's what you're wondering)

i could umm... *cough*send you some songs to see if you'd like it*cough* ;)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Alex do you really hate doing audio interviews? I think you have alot of valid opinions that fans would love to hear. I know im the hater but honestly i like your art and i think more people should hear about your influences.
I really do. No shit.

[ds9]

I really do. No shit.your just mean :eek:

[Persevering Guy]

You've traveled.

Where do you draw the line on foods you won't eat?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

You've traveled.

Where do you draw the line on foods you won't eat?
I'll eat anything that is calcified in the fryer for cash. Other than that, I stick to my died

[jenifu]

I'll eat anything that is calcified in the fryer for cash. Other than that, I stick to my died

ha. considering the statement that directly preceded this typo, it seems far too appropriate to have been a mere miskey.

[Dennis K]

I have a birthday coming up, you won't forget to send me a nice card, right?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I have a birthday coming up, you won't forget to send me a nice card, right?
What's the magic word punk?

[CraigM]

If I ever become a writer at one of the big two, can you be the artist on the project?

Craig

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

If I ever become a writer at one of the big two, can you be the artist on the project?

Craig
If you promise not to brag about it.

[CraigM]

If you promise not to brag about it.
Not brag about the writing, the project, or working with you?

Craig

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Not brag about the writing, the project, or working with you?

Craig
Is this an ass related question?

[CraigM]

Is this an ass related question?

It can be if we look at it in a different light.

Craig

[Dennis K]

What's the magic word punk?


Oh man, I didn't know there was going to be a quiz. Should I go with "please" or is that too obvious? Maybe you're trying to be clever and it's "ass". Then again, maybe it's something like "more ass please". Of course that's more of a phrase than a word though, isn't it? Decisions, decisions, oh the hell with it, please?

[GelfXIII]

Alex:
Do these pants make my ass look fat?

[Dennis K]

Alex:
Do these pants make my ass look fat?

Oh, oh, I know the punchline to this one!

[Olivier E.]

As your art is made on computer, my question is how many computers do you use, I've seen AI Yazawa's work office on a picture and she has 5 mac's connected to draw. Do you use only one or also a few?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

As your art is made on computer, my question is how many computers do you use, I've seen AI Yazawa's work office on a picture and she has 5 mac's connected to draw. Do you use only one or also a few?
1 Mac. All I need. I don't see why I need more.

[Pyronics]

All of your DareDevil work was done entirely on computer? Wow, that's impressive. It has a very naturalistic look.

[Raphael J]

What's your favorite panel/page from your entire Daredevil run?

[Pyronics]

Hey, Alex, is it possible to get the line art from a page of the comic in high resolution so that I might be able to practice a bit of coloring on it? Thanks in advance.

[who cares?]

Hey, Alex, is it possible to get the line art from a page of the comic in high resolution so that I might be able to practice a bit of coloring on it? Thanks in advance.

pm me with an e-mail address.... i still have those high-res pages from DD#57 (the one with the yakuza fight) that Alex posted a while back........

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

What's your favorite panel/page from your entire Daredevil run?
I have been thinking about this ever since you asked. Answer is:
I don't know.

[Sam Little]

Uh...apologies in advance as this is not a question regarding ass.

Really like your work and was surprised to read here that it is almost exclusively done on computer. My question is this: do you use one of those digital pen and pad things or just the traditional mouse?

Looking forward to Illuminati and Spider-Woman.

That is all.

And now back to the regularly scheduled ass-0-rama.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Uh...apologies in advance as this is not a question regarding ass.

Really like your work and was surprised to read here that it is almost exclusively done on computer. My question is this: do you use one of those digital pen and pad things or just the traditional mouse?

Looking forward to Illuminati and Spider-Woman.

That is all.

And now back to the regularly scheduled ass-0-rama.
Absolutely. No way without the Wacom. Even considering the Cintiq.

[Sam Little]

Absolutely. No way without the Wacom. Even considering the Cintiq.

Thank you sir. Think I might check those out.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Thank you sir. Think I might check those out.
I just noticed you are from Oslo. I have a soft spot in my heart for this city.

[Sam Little]

I just noticed you are from Oslo. I have a soft spot in my heart for this city.

It's a great town. Not too big, not too small. Good people and good beer (kinda pricey though). I love cities that don't require owning a car. This is one of them.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

It's a great town. Not too big, not too small. Good people and good beer (kinda pricey though). I love cities that don't require owning a car. This is one of them.
True. Only great memories. The Vigeland church I will never forget. And of course, the long blond haired oriental dancer who took me up there.:Oops:

[Sam Little]

True. Only great memories. The Vigeland church I will never forget. And of course, the long blond haired oriental dancer who took me up there.:Oops:

The park is really something, too. Vigeland was an artist that did not think small.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

The park is really something, too. Vigeland was an artist that did not think small.
I liked the park, but Emmanuel's work suits me better. That was the crazy unrecognized by the public and government one, wasn't it? His little chapel with no windows is the one I talk about.

[Sam Little]

I liked the park, but Emmanuel's work suits me better. That was the crazy unrecognized by the public and government one, wasn't it? His little chapel with no windows is the one I talk about.

Jeez, I've never heard of this place and I've lived in Oslo for ten years. I must be hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'ma track that chapel down and check it out toot sweet.

Man, the things you can learn on a comics message board.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Jeez, I've never heard of this place and I've lived in Oslo for ten years. I must be hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'ma track that chapel down and check it out toot sweet.

Man, the things you can learn on a comics message board.
You go see it and tell me what you think. Screw the crying babies at the park.
http://travelerstales.com/carpet/000200.shtml

[Sam Little]

You go see it and tell me what you think. Screw the crying babies at the park.
http://travelerstales.com/carpet/000200.shtml

Just found a website for it. Place is like twenty minutes from my apartment. Apparently, it's sort of a secret here in Oslo (as secret as a place with it's own website can be I suppose). It's only open on Sundays, so I'll check it out this weekend. Thanks for the tip.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Just found a website for it. Place is like twenty minutes from my apartment. Apparently, it's sort of a secret here in Oslo (as secret as a place with it's own website can be I suppose). It's only open on Sundays, so I'll check it out this weekend. Thanks for the tip.
Don't forget to bring somebody special with you. The lady I was with and I will share this memory for a long time. She was born in Oslo, so don't feel bad if you didn't know the place.

[Sam Little]

Don't forget to bring somebody special with you.

I'll bring the wife. She's a pip.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I'll bring the wife. She's a pip.
Meh. I left mine home for this trip.;)

[Sam Little]

Gotta split. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks, again.

[Raphael J]

I have been thinking about this ever since you asked. Answer is:
I don't know.

The funny thing is, I'd answer the same exact thing.

[Hot Pink]

if you had to recommend one place to travel, and to see things there, where would it be?

i ask because you seem to be well travelled, and posting pictures of you in volcanoes and shit.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

if you had to recommend one place to travel, and to see things there, where would it be?

i ask because you seem to be well travelled, and posting pictures of you in volcanoes and shit.
The world is too big to know. I still haven't been to all the places I wanna go to. One place that hod a special spot in my heart is Tokyo.

[Hot Pink]

yeah. i am currently arguing with my travel agency about changing my return tickets from australia to la to australia to japan instead, but they arent really having it.

but, i did find some cheap ass flights to nz so i am totally heading there in a couple weeks.

hows spider woman going?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

yeah. i am currently arguing with my travel agency about changing my return tickets from australia to la to australia to japan instead, but they arent really having it.

but, i did find some cheap ass flights to nz so i am totally heading there in a couple weeks.

hows spider woman going?
I spent 2 weeks in NZ and loved it. Unfortunately I only had 4 days for Australia afterwards. Next time.
http://homepage.mac.com/amaleev/NZ/PhotoAlbum34.html

[GelfXIII]

I spent 2 weeks in NZ and loved it. Unfortunately I only had 4 days for Australia afterwards. Next time.
http://homepage.mac.com/amaleev/NZ/PhotoAlbum34.html


Those are great pics, man! Seriously, like Ansel Adams good!

[Hot Pink]

yeah. i will be going to the southern island, and driving around in a rentacar... some glacier i want to check out, and also that fancy mirror lake thing...which it looks like you have some amazing pictures of!

any place you can recommend in nz?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

yeah. i will be going to the southern island, and driving around in a rentacar... some glacier i want to check out, and also that fancy mirror lake thing...which it looks like you have some amazing pictures of!

any place you can recommend in nz?
we did the same. we rented a car from the north island and took the ferry to Picton from Wellington. Drove on the west side of Mt. Cook, pass the Franz Josef glacier where we climbed, then jumped with a parachute near it, down to Milford sound, make sure YOU drive to it from Te Anau with full tank and before the buses, across to Dunedin, then Christchurch and up. 1 week. We did the north Island as well, but much quicker because I had to go to the Sydney con afterwards. Just get a good book guide. And make sleeping arrangements for the Milford Sound in advance. There are great hiking places too, that panoramic pic of the lake was a gem, where we were absolutely alone. It was on the way to it, but I don't remember the name.

[Hot Pink]

thats awesome. thanks for the advice. i am definitly hitting up some of those same spots... and lastly, if you have any recollection, i am trying to run my budget for htis but i have no idea how much to expect to spend on gas... do you have any rough idea how much you spent on your escapade through middle-earth?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

thats awesome. thanks for the advice. i am definitly hitting up some of those same spots... and lastly, if you have any recollection, i am trying to run my budget for htis but i have no idea how much to expect to spend on gas... do you have any rough idea how much you spent on your escapade through middle-earth?
No recollection. With a road map you should be able to calculate your litre per kilometers consumption. Be aware of cops and road cameras. I got 2 speeding tickets on that trip.

[Hot Pink]

No recollection. With a road map you should be able to calculate your litre per kilometers consumption. Be aware of cops and road cameras. I got 2 speeding tickets on that trip.

yeah. ive got a bunch of mapquest directions and shit, but i am hoping to have one of those awesome experiences where you get lost, but then being lost turns into this awesome experience where you see and find something you never would have if you didnt get lost in the first place. if that makes sense....

thanks for the advice though.

by the way, any idea if you are doing chicago this year? i might try to get there this year.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

yeah. ive got a bunch of mapquest directions and shit, but i am hoping to have one of those awesome experiences where you get lost, but then being lost turns into this awesome experience where you see and find something you never would have if you didnt get lost in the first place. if that makes sense....

thanks for the advice though.

by the way, any idea if you are doing chicago this year? i might try to get there this year.
No Chicago. You do have a guide, don't you? Lonely
Planet, Let's Go?

[Hot Pink]

i do have the lonely planet. i havent been reading it until this past week, after i bought my tickets it sunk in that i was actually going.

then when i get back to australia i have to do some serious travelling while i am hear, and since it is my last semester in college i figure i might as well just fuck it and skip out on a week of classes here or there and and go swimming in the great barrier reef and run around sydney for a week.

[who cares?]

totally random question: when's the last time you went to Bulgaria and what did you think of it?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

totally random question: when's the last time you went to Bulgaria and what did you think of it?
2 summers ago, I passed on my way to Kyrgistan. I hated it, I don't like going there much anymore. Not my place.

[Hot Pink]

how many countries HAVE you been to?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

how many countries HAVE you been to?
I don't know. Stop counting years ago.

[Drazen]

thinking about a question that has the word ass in it.... still thinkin' ??????(damn this guy is slow at thinkin' ain't he????:scared: ).... :
What kind of bad ass music is the king of ass listening :D

ok on to the next question :
What kind of Wacom are you using?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

thinking about a question that has the word ass in it.... still thinkin' ??????(damn this guy is slow at thinkin' ain't he????:scared: ).... :
What kind of bad ass music is the king of ass listening :D

ok on to the next question :
What kind of Wacom are you using?
12X9 Wacom.
I listen to Jazz and Electronic. Very specific Jazz and very specific Electronic that is.

[Drazen]

12X9 Wacom.
I listen to Jazz and Electronic. Very specific Jazz and very specific Electronic that is.

will that be in inches? I suggest you get one of those cintiq stuff- a friend of mine got one and he's really praising it

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

will that be in inches? I suggest you get one of those cintiq stuff- a friend of mine got one and he's really praising it
I know about it. I just don't feel the need for it, I can draw pretty well on the one I have.

[Drazen]

I know about it. I just don't feel the need for it, I can draw pretty well on the one I have.
yeah I know what you mean- I feel great when I'm working on my tablet, and I don't feel the need of buying something new, I was just suggesting you to try it

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

yeah I know what you mean- I feel great when I'm working on my tablet, and I don't feel the need of buying something new, I was just suggesting you to try it
I have. But I have trained myself to work on the tablet I have for years. To go back and down 2500 bucks isn't justified for me. People have sworn by the Cintiq, even professionals who I know have worked on the regular Wacom for a long time. I am still not convinced. I want higher resolution on the screen and brighter LCD.

[Drazen]

say alex can you tell me what kind of program or brushes you're using when you drawing???

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

say alex can you tell me what kind of program or brushes you're using when you drawing???
Painter and Photoshop mostly. Custom made brushes.

[RickM]

Here's a non-artist question, which I'm sure you get all the time:

What kinds of source do you use as you're penciling, especially a new character?

For me, your Daredevil work was sensational -- a perfect mood for the character, and a body of work that raised the bar for superhero titles. And as I read each issue, I would stop at some panels and think, he's got to be using real models (friends or what not).

As I said, I'm not an artist. Just a fan who thoroughly enjoyed Daredevil, as well as the Illuminati book.

Rick

[Sam Little]

Originally Posted by Alex(sadly)Maleev
Did you go to the temple I told you about?

Not yet, man! I had to make a pit stop in Indonesia first. The place is only open on Sundays, so I'm headed there the first free weekend I got (which ain't this weekend 'cause I gotta go to Milan). I'll let you know as soon as I've checked it out. Promise!

[Snake Eyes]

was Silke based on your image?

[Hot Pink]

yo alex. new zealand was awesome.
i didnt get speeding tickets, but i lost the brake pads in my rent a car after i let one of the girls i was travelling with drive.

other than that, holy shit new zealand was pretty awesome.

[Captain Sensation]

Since you are the king of ass and everything...
Hearing the name "captain sensation" is the first thing that comes to mind perverted? If not,whats the first thing you think of?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Since you are the king of ass and everything...
Hearing the name "captain sensation" is the first thing that comes to mind perverted? If not,whats the first thing you think of?
Captain Stabbin.

[Hot Pink]

Captain Stabbin.
i dig this one porn star allie sin and she was on there.
it was awesome.

[Toshio]

I spent 2 weeks in NZ and loved it. Unfortunately I only had 4 days for Australia afterwards. Next time.
http://homepage.mac.com/amaleev/NZ/PhotoAlbum34.html

How much travelling did you get to do in New Zealand. Whereabouts did you go?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

How much travelling did you get to do in New Zealand. Whereabouts did you go?
Can you tell from the pictures?

[Raydawggie]

I like you. Why don't you like me? Brothers of all races, religions, and political parties. Join together love your brother man now......

:(

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

I like you. Why don't you like me? Brothers of all races, religions, and political parties. Join together love your brother man now......

:(
It's not you man, I just get very furious sometimes at the stuff you write. I don't want to engage, so I decided to ignore the posts. Please don't be offended, please. I really don't wanna be cruel or anything, but shit man, we are so different on global issues, I don't seem to find the right balance between us. Sounds like I am breaking up with you, right?;-)

[Toshio]

Can you tell from the pictures?
Looking at some of the scenery espicially the mountains maybe somewhere near Queenstown/Central Otago. That architecture looks like something from Auckland. Am I close?

[Raydawggie]

It's not you man, I just get very furious sometimes at the stuff you write. I don't want to engage, so I decided to ignore the posts. Please don't be offended, please. I really don't wanna be cruel or anything, but shit man, we are so different on global issues, I don't seem to find the right balance between us. Sounds like I am breaking up with you, right?;-)

Fair enough. You'll still read my posts in the comics threads, right? Most of those are non-political. I haven't managed to swing discussions of the new Avengers roster to politics. Yet. ;)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Looking at some of the scenery espicially the mountains maybe somewhere near Queenstown/Central Otago. That architecture looks like something from Auckland. Am I close?
All you see is the south island although the trip began in Auckland. The architecture pictured there is a part of the famous opera in Sydney. Shame on you.:lol:

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Fair enough. You'll still read my posts in the comics threads, right? Most of those are non-political. I haven't managed to swing discussions of the new Avengers roster to politics. Yet. ;)
I figured it out. The main difference between us is our citizenship. You are American, I am a world citizen. Does it make sense?

[jenifu]

I figured it out. The main difference between us is our citizenship. You are American, I am a world citizen. Does it make sense?

(I like to think it's possible to be both...or at least to try...???)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

(I like to think it's possible to be both...or at least to try...???)
That is why I take the stuff Ray writes so personally. I get too involved and my social awareness becomes greater. But I look at the big picture and the effect we have on the world. Ray seems to be preoccupied with his back yard.

[Raydawggie]

I figured it out. The main difference between us is our citizenship. You are American, I am a world citizen. Does it make sense?

That makes a lot of sense, actually. I do admit that I am preoccupied with my two corners of the world. I've been trying to broaden my perspective a bit lately, but it's probably going to take a long time.

Thanks for being so honest with me when I reached out a bit. I can think of another person who wouldn't show me that courtesey. Although I don't believe he knows the meaning of the word. Sorry, Jen. ;)

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

That makes a lot of sense, actually. I do admit that I am preoccupied with my two corners of the world. I've been trying to broaden my perspective a bit lately, but it's probably going to take a long time.

Thanks for being so honest with me when I reached out a bit. I can think of another person who wouldn't show me that courtesey. Although I don't believe he knows the meaning of the word. Sorry, Jen. ;)
You are a tough cookie. I gather you were brought up in the family with strong believes on certain issues, you are too young to be so firm on things anyway. You'll see how with age things do look broader and I am sure your understanding of the eminence of the problems we are facing will take their respective places on the priority ladder. I am a hardheaded liberal myself and for me the massacre of our own nature is on the very top of my own ladder.
I lived in NY and lived through the 911 attacks, but never felt fear while being in the city, the target of so many speculative terror rumors following the WTC. But I feel that the changes in the environment we inflict will have deadlier consequences. I have a better chance to die run over by a woman talking on the phone while driving her shit spewing Tahoe than being hit by a plane.

[Raydawggie]

You are a tough cookie. I gather you were brought up in the family with strong believes on certain issues, you are too young to be so firm on things anyway. You'll see how with age things do look broader and I am sure your understanding of the eminence of the problems we are facing will take their respective places on the priority ladder. I am a hardheaded liberal myself and for me the massacre of our own nature is on the very top of my own ladder.
I lived in NY and lived through the 911 attacks, but never felt fear while being in the city, the target of so many speculative terror rumors following the WTC. But I feel that the changes in the environment we inflict will have deadlier consequences. I have a better chance to die run over by a woman talking on the phone while driving her shit spewing Tahoe than being hit by a plane.

Being honest, I don't know enough about the enviroment to comment on it too much. I don't drive, and know zero about fuel emissions. When it comes to discussions about that, I generally sit back and read everyone else's posts, because I don't have much to say. I should probably learn more about it, because the extent of my knowledge is pretty much "global warming is dangerous, but I don't drive, so sucks to be me". It's always been one of the things that annoys me the most about Bush, that he refuses to deal with it. I don't like his ignorance of reality on this, evolution, and the like.

I did get a lot of my politics from my family, so I think you're right on that. I wasn't in NY on 9/11, but I would have been if it happened a few hours later. I thank God for that, because I don't know how I would have reacted in a crisis situation. And you're probably right about the odds. Hopefully we'll get some politicians who can stand up with solid plans to deal with both.

[Darediva]

Since you are the king of ass and everything...
Hearing the name "captain sensation" is the first thing that comes to mind perverted? If not,whats the first thing you think of?

Hello, Cap'n. I'm obviously NOT the King, but...when you suddenly appeared on my YM log, I have to admit that the first thing I thought of was a brand of cheap condoms sold in gas station restroom vending machines.

[Darediva]

You are a tough cookie. I gather you were brought up in the family with strong believes on certain issues, you are too young to be so firm on things anyway. You'll see how with age things do look broader and I am sure your understanding of the eminence of the problems we are facing will take their respective places on the priority ladder. I am a hardheaded liberal myself and for me the massacre of our own nature is on the very top of my own ladder.
I lived in NY and lived through the 911 attacks, but never felt fear while being in the city, the target of so many speculative terror rumors following the WTC. But I feel that the changes in the environment we inflict will have deadlier consequences. I have a better chance to die run over by a woman talking on the phone while driving her shit spewing Tahoe than being hit by a plane.

Being another hardheaded liberal, I congratulate you on your world view, Alex. Too many people who populate internet boards are limited to what they have heard at home from the parental units, or by what they see in their own backyards. Broaden your horizons, people.

Absolutely agree about someone running over me with their gas-guzzling, shit spewing (great term, thank you) SUV while on the phone. What irritates me is getting behind someone at the gas pump and listening to them bitch about the price of gasoline while they fill up their stinking Escalade. Kwitcherbellyakin, people. I didn't make you buy that dungbeetle. My car gets 30 mpg, and it's PAID FOR! And, I don't have to worry about someone stealing my 2000 Breeze. Rant over.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Being honest, I don't know enough about the enviroment to comment on it too much. I don't drive, and know zero about fuel emissions. When it comes to discussions about that, I generally sit back and read everyone else's posts, because I don't have much to say. I should probably learn more about it, because the extent of my knowledge is pretty much "global warming is dangerous, but I don't drive, so sucks to be me". It's always been one of the things that annoys me the most about Bush, that he refuses to deal with it. I don't like his ignorance of reality on this, evolution, and the like.

I did get a lot of my politics from my family, so I think you're right on that. I wasn't in NY on 9/11, but I would have been if it happened a few hours later. I thank God for that, because I don't know how I would have reacted in a crisis situation. And you're probably right about the odds. Hopefully we'll get some politicians who can stand up with solid plans to deal with both.

Love between us is restored. Thanks for coming forward and extending hand.

[Raydawggie]

Love between us is restored. Thanks for coming forward and extending hand.

:D :heart: :spidey:

[Toshio]

All you see is the south island although the trip began in Auckland. The architecture pictured there is a part of the famous opera in Sydney. Shame on you.:lol:

Guess i was close on one of them. And yes, shame on me ;)