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View Full Version : Homophobia, the F-word, and Progress



Patrick Gerard
08-05-2011, 02:08 PM
I was selling plasma at the plasma clinic a couple of weeks back (I'm a grad student, my income is fixed, I've been applying at jobs left and right to no avail yet) when this girl admitted she likes hanging out with gay guys and was talking about the local gay bar. I tensed up, unsure what would be said next.

You see, the plasma clinic doesn't accept plasma from gay men, which has always made me uneasy with where they might stand on general human rights stuff; it seems like an ignorant view to me. I remember thinking when I first signed up with them, "Do I want to do business with a discriminatory place of business?" Then I stopped and considered that the plasma would be used for treatments that benefit everyone and I was taking their money, not the other way around. (It kills me enough that I can't have Rockstar Cola without supporting Michael Savage's family; I like the stuff. I didn't know when I first started drinking it. I try to be a conscientious buyer. But selling? Not so much. I figure if I'm making money, it's a good thing.)

Anyway, there was one guy there in the waiting room who was offended that this girl goes to a gay club. He started arguing with her loudly about how disgusting he thought gay people were, how he was going to go out and get "his boy" to shut her up.

And a funny thing happened. One by one, people in the waiting room (these aren't wealthy people and a lot of them are pretty country) told the guy to calm down and shut up, that what he was saying wasn't appropriate or acceptable. He got angrier and angrier. A nurse leaned over the counter and told him he'd have to calm down or he couldn't sell plasma there. She paused. Then added, "You know what I think your problem with gay people is? They get laid more than you."

The guy darted out into the parking lot for a cigarette and one of the nurses turns to another and says, "That's going to mess with his vitals. When he gets back in, tell him he has to wait half and hour and then start to admission process over again. If he doesn't like that, we don't have to serve him."

I felt good being in a room that had shut down a violent homophobe and told him, simply, "No. We don't accept that here."

Before I could get too smug, though, the girl who started the conversation burst out, frustrated. "I don't see what his problem is with faggots. That's homophobia. I like faggots. I don't care where they take it. Faggots are people too."

I winced and looked around the room to see the irony wasn't lost on anyone there. Nobody was comfortable with that word. I saw one girl wincing, on the verge of an uncomfortable chuckle. I looked at her, I looked back over at the gay rights crusader in the room, and we both sighed.

This is what progress looks like, isn't it?

Slewo.O
08-05-2011, 02:15 PM
Huh...on one hand good on people for shutting that down... But that girl? Yeah... She's in the same class as that other guy. Being that she uses the same word but thinks gay guys are only cool because they're gay? Geez.

zemo
08-05-2011, 02:17 PM
REminds me of Top Gear. The guy drove through hick country, being asses to each other, writing, for example, "Gay is great" or something like that on each other's car. They nearly got messed up by a gas station owner calling her "boys". I am sad to admit that, but this has certainly influenced my views regarding the US.

Keith P.
08-05-2011, 02:21 PM
It's about context. Who you are dealing with, and what the people you are speaking withs personal boundaries are.


The situation with the girl using it as you described, would mostly just amuse me. She sounds like a fag hag.

I use it all the time. But, I'm a gay man, again, context.

Slewo.O
08-05-2011, 02:24 PM
It's about context. Who you are dealing with, and what the people you are speaking withs personal boundaries are.

The situation with the girl using it as you described, would mostly just amuse me. She sounds like a fag hag.

I use it all the time. But, I'm a gay man, again, context.
Sadly that's what it sounded like. Would you have utterly destroyed both of em your Keithness?

sunbird
08-05-2011, 02:49 PM
Huh...on one hand good on people for shutting that down... But that girl? Yeah... She's in the same class as that other guy. Being that she uses the same word but thinks gay guys are only cool because they're gay? Geez.She strikes me as shallow and a bit dim rather than bigoted. I'm not sure lumping the two together as the same is right. Besides, if she hangs out at gay bars lot she may just have picked up lots of gay people using it self-deprecatingly and not picked up that straights using it has some unfortunate connotations. Like I said, dim.

Slewo.O
08-05-2011, 02:50 PM
She strikes me as shallow and a bit dim rather than bigoted. I'm not sure lumping the two together as the same is right. Besides, if she hangs out at gay bars lot she may just have picked up lots of gay people using it self-deprecatingly and not picked up that straights using it has some unfortunate connotations. Like I said, dim.

They're both pretty dim if you ask me.

Keith P.
08-05-2011, 03:06 PM
Sadly that's what it sounded like. Would you have utterly destroyed both of em your Keithness?

The girl I probably would have just thought was funny.

However, I think every physical altercation I have ever been in has been because someone has called me a faggot. I have broken someones arm with a tire iron, I have ripped someones ear partially off, I have pointed a gun at a car full of guys, I have knocked someone out with a single punch, I got expelled my Junior year in highschool and had to take summer school to graduate because some chick named Abby called me a faggot, I responded with something, I don't remember, probably a "fuck off bitch" and she decided to have her older brother sucker punch me in the school courtyard after study hall. I beat him quite literally unconscious by slamming his head repeatedly into the ground, and broke his ribs by kicking them in with my combat boots before I was pulled off him.



I'm a LOT calmer and laid back that I was in my late teens and 20's but there was a time when I had a lot of rage.

sunbird
08-05-2011, 03:11 PM
They're both pretty dim if you ask me.
True, but one was dim and hateful and the other was dim and reasonably good natured. I don't see much malice, just a lack of awareness.

Stressfactor
08-05-2011, 03:46 PM
Reminds me more of a story I saw Richard Pryor's first wife tell.

She was white and she recounted a story in which Pryor took her to a party. The majority of people there were black and they called one another "nigger" in a friendly, self-deprecating manner. She thought that since they could do it then it would be okay if she did it too so she greeted a newcomer in a similar way as she had heard Pryor do. She said the room got utterly quiet and she became afraid she was going to end up the subject of a fight but instead Pryor took her outside. She said he quietly explained about using the term amongst other Afircan-American people as a way of trying to reclaim the word and take some of the sting out of it but that it was different when a white person used the word. She said he then pointed up at the starry sky and said "Which one of them is a 'nigger'?"

I imagine this girl was the same way.

JKCarrier
08-05-2011, 04:06 PM
You see, the plasma clinic doesn't accept plasma from gay men

...the fuck? Is that even legal? How do they enforce it?

ConnorHawke
08-05-2011, 04:10 PM
In this case I think her actions speak much louder than words, so it doesn't bother me personally.

ConnorHawke
08-05-2011, 04:14 PM
...the fuck? Is that even legal? How do they enforce it?

I believe that's true with most places that take blood. Any man who has ever had sex with another man (or at least since the 70's) can't donate.

Sort of dumb since anyone's blood could potentially be infected, and the screening process is quite thorough.

shrike
08-05-2011, 04:15 PM
...the fuck? Is that even legal? How do they enforce it?

Well, I know when the Red Cross comes to where I work they ask that gay men don't donate blood, so yes.

(BTW, thats FDA talking there about it... so yeah.)

sunbird
08-05-2011, 05:29 PM
I can't give blood in the US or here in New Zealand cause I lived in the UK in the 80s and 90s. I have mad bovine disease!

JBK405
08-05-2011, 06:01 PM
How do they enforce it?

Honor system (Seriously). Before you donate a questionarie is given to collect basic information with one of the questions the simple "If you're male, have you ever had sex with a man?" question. Some places even put up a sign saying that they do not accept blood from homosexuals.

I've never heard of any blood bank actually researching this, so if you want to donate and you're gay (Or bisexual, or omnisexual, or.....) there's no serious impediment to keep you from just saying "no" and giving them your blood, but it strikes me as the principal of the matter. All blood, regardless of the source, is screened for disease, chemicals, etc. and there is no greater risk of blood-born pathogens in gay blood than in straight blood (Did I seriously just write the term "gay blood"?), but for a multitude of reasons (Outdated medical knowledge combined with good old fashioned bigotry) they just don't want none 'o that red stuff what comes from "teh gayz."

Regarding the opening post, I'm also struck that the girl was more ignorant than actually bigoted; somebody who just didn't "get" that she was being offensive. It could be because she just wasn't very bright, or maybe this was just how "they" spoke and she didn't know it was offensive. I am, however, glad to hear that people did stand up to back off the loud-mouthed prick. One room isn't the entire world, but it's always nice to hear that there are people who don't just avert their eyes and hope not to be drawn in.

Reverend Smooth
08-05-2011, 06:13 PM
She's in the same class as that other guy. Being that she uses the same word but thinks gay guys are only cool because they're gay? Geez.People equate the two, but I don't agree with that; having a view that treats a group, as a whole, as basically good is not wrong. It's not realistic, but that's not the same as viewing a group as inferior. I've never had a problem being fangirled or fanboyed at because of my sexuality (or gender), it's a nice change.

On the other hand, she's not a fag. And if she's not around ones who are fine with it, it's not her place to use that word.

Keith P.
08-05-2011, 06:15 PM
In all fairness, we are much cooler.

Reverend Smooth
08-05-2011, 06:16 PM
^^

Keith P.
08-05-2011, 06:18 PM
I mean, I can suck a golf ball through twenty feet of garden hose, and tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.

Reverend Smooth
08-05-2011, 06:22 PM
Larime can tie a cherry stem into three knots with his. Alas, he doesn't like sucking cock.

jesterwitch
08-05-2011, 06:53 PM
But that girl? Yeah... She's in the same class as that other guy. Being that she uses the same word but thinks gay guys are only cool because they're gay? Geez.

Sounds to me like she sees gay men as an accessory rather than actual human beings. Ugh...It really urks the crap out of me when I see young women acting like having a "gay best friend" is like having a fluffy cute pet.

BnL
08-05-2011, 08:00 PM
Sounds to me like she sees gay men as an accessory rather than actual human beings. Ugh...It really urks the crap out of me when I see young women acting like having a "gay best friend" is like having a fluffy cute pet.

That's how I interpreted it too. And yes, very annoying. Viewing gay men as a collectible status symbol is not the same as being supporting of gay people. For as much time as that girl apparently spends around gay men, it's pretty telling that she still doesn't have enough respect to not use that word so casually in public.

Keith P.
08-05-2011, 09:45 PM
Personally, I love being the gay BFF. I have some of the most incredibly amazing, fantastic fun times of my life with straight girls.

Every straight girl needs a gay BFF, and every gay guy needs a fag hag, or even several!

I love, love, love my girlfriends! A good fag hag is worth her weight in fucking gold.

The gay community would be crippled and a much, much poorer place without them.

My God, I dont even want to think of a world without them. I would be a much lesser person without them.

Lester C.
08-05-2011, 10:36 PM
This is why I'm morally defective. If I were Patrick I would have just tuned them out unless I felt they were a danger to me.