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TheKraken
06-18-2011, 11:07 AM
http://www.ynet.co.il/english/articles/0,7340,L-4082843,00.html


Rabbinical court rules spirit of secular lawyer who insulted judges 20 years ago transferred into wandering dog's body

Akiva Novick
Published: 06.16.11, 14:21 / Israel Jewish Scene

A Jerusalem rabbinical court recently sentenced a wandering dog to death by stoning. The cruel sentence stemmed from the suspicion that the hound was the reincarnation of a famous secular lawyer, who insulted the court's judges 20 years ago.

Several weeks ago, according to the Behadrei Hadarim website, a large dog entered the Monetary Affairs Court near the ultra-Orthodox neighborhood of Mea Shearim. The dog scared the court's visitors and, to their surprise, refused to leave even after they attempted to drive him away.

One of the judges suddenly recalled that about 20 years ago, a famous secular lawyer who insulted the court was cursed by the panel of judges, who wished that his spirit would move on to the body of a dog (considered an impure animal by Halacha). The lawyer passed away several years ago.

Still offended, one of the judges sentenced the poor animal to death by stoning, recruiting the neighborhood's children to carry out the order. Luckily, the dog managed to escape.

The head of the court, Rabbi Avraham Dov Levin, denied that the judges had called for the dog's stoning. But one of the court's managers confirmed the report to Yedioth Ahronoth.

"It was ordered by the rabbis because of the grief he had caused the court," he said. "They didn't issue an official ruling, but ordered the children outside to throw stones at him in order to drive him away. They didn't think of it as cruelty to animals, but as an appropriate way to 'get back at' the spirit which entered the poor dog."

Jerusalem City Council Member and social activist Rachel Azaria sent an urgent letter to the attorney general, calling on him to "deal with the criminals". The Let the Animals Live organization filed a complaint with the police against Rabbi Levin.

Ray G.
06-18-2011, 11:10 AM
The fuck?

Jews don't even believe in reincarnation!

Jason California
06-18-2011, 11:10 AM
It angers me that this is not an Onion article.

Ashwin Pande
06-18-2011, 11:12 AM
What? Even Indians aren't this stupid.

MayorMitch100
06-18-2011, 11:12 AM
The fuck?

Jews don't even believe in reincarnation!

I was going to say the Same thing.

Ryan Elliott
06-18-2011, 11:12 AM
Jesus fucking christ...

Alex(sadly)Maleev
06-18-2011, 11:15 AM
The fuck?

Jews don't even believe in reincarnation!



Nobody's perfect;)

Dr. Chaos
06-18-2011, 11:16 AM
Jesus Christ, even if it was him, he's a fucking dog. Leave him alone, he's already in his own personal hell.

Urgur the Gurgur
06-18-2011, 11:18 AM
Jesus fucking christ...

Jesus has nothing to do with this one.

Ray G.
06-18-2011, 11:18 AM
Not to mention, even if he was the reincarnation of a douche who insulted them, there is no clause in the bible that allows judges to stone people who insulted them!

This just fails every single test of logic imaginable.

markgrayson
06-18-2011, 11:21 AM
This part is the most fucked up to me:

Still offended, one of the judges sentenced the poor animal to death by stoning, recruiting the neighborhood's children to carry out the order.

Foolish Mortal
06-18-2011, 11:24 AM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2300/2242155009_6db8bd8843_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/7669666@N03/2242155009/sizes/o)

Ashwin Pande
06-18-2011, 11:27 AM
Hell, at least it's just a dog. It could've been a woman.

Dr. Chaos
06-18-2011, 12:02 PM
This part is the most fucked up to me:
Same here but hardly surprising.

Got to get a head start on fucking up their children as much he's been after all.

Taxman
06-18-2011, 12:10 PM
The fuck?

Jews don't even believe in reincarnation!I guess they make an exception for lawyers.

I can seldom help but laugh at such stupidity regardless of the inhumanity it breeds.

RebootedCorpse
06-18-2011, 12:38 PM
Religion is awesome!

Treacle
06-18-2011, 12:41 PM
Somebody please tell me that this is a joke...

Ryan Elliott
06-18-2011, 12:46 PM
Religion is awesome!

I like that there are a few people saying "Even if it WAS the lawyer!" like that ever had a chance in a fiery alternate dimension of happening. :lol:

Caley Tibbittz
06-18-2011, 12:50 PM
Hell, at least it's just a dog. It could've been a woman.
What if it's a girl dog? That'd be a bitch.

RebootedCorpse
06-18-2011, 12:56 PM
What if it's a girl dog? That'd be a bitch.

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/spepple22/spepple220910/spepple22091000089/5824289-closeup-of-a-woman-clown-with-a-sad-look-on-her-face.jpg

Taxman
06-18-2011, 12:58 PM
Somebody please tell me that this is a joke...Only in the Edward Blake sense of the word.

Gryphon
06-21-2011, 06:41 AM
http://www.virtualjerusalem.com/news.php?Itemid=3920



Late last week, international headlines were made with the sensational story of a dog being stoned in a Rabbinic court in Jerusalem after a judge realized it was a deceased lawyer reincarnated.

The Israeli newspaper Maariv was the first to carry the story that alleged that a stray dog wandered into a "Beth Din" financial court in the extremely Orthodox area of Meah Shearim, and refused to leave the courtroom. The piece stated that at this point a judge "decreed" that the dog was the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who has been deceased for 20 years. The report continued, stating that the judges then "ordered" the local children to stone the dog to death, which the children attempted to do before the dog managed to escape.

Every major news media outlet in the world ran this story which prompted extreme criticism, not only of the court and the alleged partakers in this horrific event, but of Israelis and Jews in general. It was all re-posted thousands of times on facebook and twitter, and was even the "most read" story on the BBC. This prompted thousands of comments, many of which stated the opinion that dogs are better than Jews.

Well, after all this uproar, we learn that this story is false and did not actually take place.

What in fact happened that day in the ultra-Orthodox courtroom was that a stray dog wandered in, (much to the delight of the children present), and the city dog catcher was called upon to remove the stray.

Greygor
06-21-2011, 06:45 AM
Yes it was bullshit, glad not to pile on this one

Masculine Todd
06-21-2011, 06:45 AM
Jesus Christ, even if it was him[...]

This part of your post was the best thing ever.

Matt Jay
06-21-2011, 07:06 AM
http://www.virtualjerusalem.com/news.php?Itemid=3920

I knew this was bullshit. Israelis wouldn't stone the dog. They would bomb the dog and a five block radius of where the dog may be located.

http://instantrimshot.com/

Ray G.
06-21-2011, 07:08 AM
http://www.virtualjerusalem.com/news.php?Itemid=3920

Good to know. It didn't match up with any actual Jewish law or tradition, but I've long ago learned not to underestimate the individual human capability for stupid.

thatguyfromsyracuse
06-21-2011, 07:16 AM
Religion is awesome!

Good thing you jumped to that so quickly!

dasNdanger
06-21-2011, 07:35 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/wtfdog.jpg




das

Ben
06-21-2011, 07:41 AM
Can Jews throw fast enough to even make this feasible?

NathanDetroit
06-21-2011, 07:45 AM
Can Jews throw fast enough to even make this feasible?

They could send Sandy Koufax after him!

stevapalooza
06-21-2011, 07:49 AM
So THAT'S why my cat recently converted to Judaism!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y67/snafu1056/jewishcat.jpg

Marcdachamp
06-21-2011, 07:55 AM
Religion is awesome!

That MUST be the moral of the story.

Matt Jay
06-21-2011, 08:01 AM
That MUST be the moral of the story.

In Corpse's defense, Islamic "courts" make more fucked up rulings than this all the time.

Marcdachamp
06-21-2011, 08:04 AM
In Corpse's defense, Islamic "courts" make more fucked up rulings than this all the time.

That's still an incredibly general statement to be making. We have plenty of board members that are religious.

HOOKS
06-21-2011, 08:05 AM
This just fails every single test of logic imaginable.

Religion is never logical!

/FakePat

MayorMitch100
06-21-2011, 08:10 AM
Religion is never logical!

/FakePat

:lol:

capntightpants
06-21-2011, 08:20 AM
Religion is never logical!

/FakePat

Where is that Fake Pat award?

Generic Poster
06-21-2011, 08:29 AM
This just fails every single test of logic imaginable.

Wait - an edict from a religious body isn't entirely logical? How odd.

EDIT: I see this snark was already covered!

Matt Jay
06-21-2011, 08:29 AM
That's still an incredibly general statement to be making. We have plenty of board members that are religious.

And we're all hoping for a speedy recovery.

http://instantrimshot.com/

GelfXIII
06-21-2011, 09:01 AM
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but there's no such thing as reincarnation in rabbinical law, is there? I'm pretty sure I'm right here.

stevapalooza
06-21-2011, 09:42 AM
But in cases where religion does direct harm to living creatures, why should I be obligated to respect the fact that other people hold it sacred? It's not my fault you picked a team that endorses this shit.

Ashwin Pande
06-21-2011, 09:44 AM
In India we have a god Hanuman that is literally a monkey.

Now in terms of ideas I love the fuck out of a monkey god. I think it's a fantastic idea. But in terms of actual worship I could never get myself to bend down and actually worship a monkey god. It's too silly.

Dogs hate monkeys.

Gryphon
06-21-2011, 09:46 AM
But in cases where religion does direct harm to living creatures, why should I be obligated to respect the fact that other people hold it sacred? It's not my fault you picked a team that endorses this shit.

You did read my link that said this was false , right? as in this incident didnt actually happen.

Jason California
06-21-2011, 09:49 AM
You did read my link that said this was false , right? as in this incident didnt actually happen.

You did read his post where he mentions "cases where religion does direct harm to living creatures" right?

Gryphon
06-21-2011, 09:51 AM
You did read his post where he mentions "cases where religion does direct harm to living creatures" right?

The part where he said "endorses this shit" that made me believe he was talking about the alleged incident.

Jason California
06-21-2011, 09:56 AM
The part where he said "endorses this shit" that made me believe he was talking about the alleged incident.


TO some people nonsense is nonsense. It may not have been an issue in this case, but it does happen.

Ray G.
06-21-2011, 10:15 AM
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but there's no such thing as reincarnation in rabbinical law, is there? I'm pretty sure I'm right here.

Nope. That was the first clue that something was off here. It pretty much directly contradicts every Jewish text.

costello
06-21-2011, 01:01 PM
First he's arrested in Mexico, and now this shit. Dude can't catch a break.

Greygor
06-22-2011, 03:24 AM
Dogs hate monkeys.

Is it because of the Spurs

http://umyeah.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/monkey.jpg