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View Full Version : Most awkward moment of my life



Keith P.
06-09-2011, 09:54 AM
Ok, so last night I went out for a bit, had a few drinks, and came home and was...a little drunk and horny.

So anyway, there is this guy I met when I first moved to Dallas named Robert, he and I semi-regularly hook up. He lives close by, and its pretty much purely a sex thing. I even once had a three way with him and his ex.

So every once in awhile one of us will call the other up and we will wind up having sex.

So, I text him last night in my buzzed state with "hey sexy, whatcha doin" or something like that.

My phone rings from his number, so I answer it.

It's a woman.

It's his mother.

And she informs me that Robert died a few weeks ago.

A few weeks ago we had some bad storms, Robert had apparently been coming home and there was a downed powerline in the court yard of his apartment and he somehow got electrocuted, they found his body the next morning.

Holy fucking shit. It just really hammered home to me that you can just..well die, anytime.

But yeah, talking to his mother was VERY uncomfortable, especially with my original intentions.


I am just cursed to a life of strangeness.

bachman
06-09-2011, 09:57 AM
Did you.... ask if he had any brothers?

Gregory
06-09-2011, 09:57 AM
That was his hag. She was covering for him.

Jason California
06-09-2011, 09:58 AM
At least his mom knows people remember him fondly.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 09:59 AM
That was his hag. She was covering for him.

Nah, I got online, it's in the papers.

McGill
06-09-2011, 10:00 AM
At least his mom knows people remember him fondly.

Ahhhahahahaha goddamn, you and you're jokes.

McGill
06-09-2011, 10:01 AM
Nah, I got online, it's in the papers.

At least its confirmed. You seem to be taking it well.

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 10:01 AM
Did you.... ask if he had any brothers?

God help me this made me laugh so hard.

bachman
06-09-2011, 10:04 AM
God help me this made me laugh so hard.

You're sick! :-x

Marcdachamp
06-09-2011, 10:04 AM
Well, that's definitely not what I expected when I clicked on this thread...

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 10:04 AM
We had some shitting storms and tornadoes a few weeks back here in Oklahoma. I was with my wife on the phone as I was trying to get home. The thought in the back of my mind that this may be the last time I talked to her seriously fucked my brain up. Yeah, shit can happen to anyone at anytime.

Sorry to hear your friend's death. Hoped he didn't take that to the grave with him and his mother just now heard it from you.

Matt Jay
06-09-2011, 10:06 AM
Did she know he was gay or did you accidentally do a posthumous outing?

Brother Power the Gong
06-09-2011, 10:09 AM
What did you fantasize about as you jerked-off? Or was it a memorial-type thing?

Marcdachamp
06-09-2011, 10:11 AM
What did you fantasize about as you jerked-off? Or was it a memorial-type thing?

Playboy did a special issue when Anna Nicole Smith died. Don't get me wrong, she was insnaley attractive back in her prime, but... kinda seemed odd to think about, no?

Brother Power the Gong
06-09-2011, 10:14 AM
Playboy did a special issue when Anna Nicole Smith died. Don't get me wrong, she was insnaley attractive back in her prime, but... kinda seemed odd to think about, no?

You gotta give it a few years, otherwise, it's pretty much necrophilia.

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 10:17 AM
You're sick! :-x

Well duh.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 10:19 AM
Did she know he was gay or did you accidentally do a posthumous outing?

I assume she knew, I didn't really have a long converation with her. And he did porn, so its not like he was shy about it.

Doc Randy
06-09-2011, 11:03 AM
Keith,

If you ever write a book collecting all your stories, I'll buy it. I'll buy several.

c. page
06-09-2011, 11:35 AM
Keith,

If you ever write a book collecting all your stories, I'll buy it. I'll buy several.

I absolutely agree.

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 12:42 PM
Keith,

If you ever write a book collecting all your stories, I'll buy it. I'll buy several.

I'd illegally download it.

Marcdachamp
06-09-2011, 12:44 PM
Even more awkward then the time that dude's wife walked in on him blowing you?

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 12:59 PM
Even more awkward then the time that dude's wife walked in on him blowing you?

Ohh...you have a point.

Although I was laughing so hard I almost wrecked my car and had to pull over in order to take time to collect myself.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 01:00 PM
I'd illegally download it.

Well, I know your wife won't(can't) be reading it!!!!!

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 01:05 PM
Well, I know your wife won't(can't) be reading it!!!!!

I'm gonna track you down and force hetero sex on you at gun point.

With a woman of questionable taste/fashion sense.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:11 PM
I'm gonna track you down and force hetero sex on you at gun point.

With a woman of questionable taste/fashion sense.

Britney Spears?

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 01:12 PM
Britney Spears?

She would certainly fit those criteria, but I am thinking Keith probably deserves a meatier girl.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:13 PM
She would certainly fit those criteria, but I am thinking Keith probably deserves a meatier girl.

Oprah then?

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 01:15 PM
Oprah then?

Sex with Oprah must be horrible.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:19 PM
Sex with Oprah must be horrible.

Oh so we want him to actually ENJOY it? Ummm .... Mia Tyler. That's some sexy there.

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 01:21 PM
This thread took a strange turn. :lol:

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 01:21 PM
Oh so we want him to actually ENJOY it? Ummm .... Mia Tyler. That's some sexy there.

No, no, I want it to be terrible for him. Oprah may be a good choice, but there is the chance she might give him a car or a soap set or something after the sexy-time.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:25 PM
No, no, I want it to be terrible for him. Oprah may be a good choice, but there is the chance she might give him a car or a soap set or something after the sexy-time.

Well I'm sure he's gonna want to run away and shower, so that may work out.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 01:37 PM
Ugh..vaginal secretions.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:47 PM
Ugh..vaginal secretions.

Your suppose to like it when she cums on you.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 01:50 PM
Your suppose to like it when she cums on you.

*shivers*

No thank you on the ladygravy.

adam_warlock_2099
06-09-2011, 01:52 PM
*shivers*

No thank you on the ladygravy.

I have a new word now. :)

Jason California
06-09-2011, 01:52 PM
Ugh..vaginal secretions.


I imagine it is less gross to most people here than having cum shot out onto part of your body.

Keith P.
06-09-2011, 01:53 PM
I imagine it is less gross to most people here than having cum shot out onto part of your body.

Well..swallowing solves that.

Jason California
06-09-2011, 01:57 PM
Well..swallowing solves that.


You like the milk?

Kedd
06-09-2011, 02:00 PM
:scared:
something's wrong with these people.

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 02:05 PM
Human secretions are just not that sexy by themselves.

BriRedfern
06-09-2011, 02:11 PM
No one secreates in a vacuum. Well, I did once, but never again.

J. Wilson
06-09-2011, 02:21 PM
Well I certainly didn't expect that twist in the narrative.

Foolish Mortal
06-09-2011, 02:29 PM
A few weeks before my mother died, she had hooked up with a couple of old college friends and they had planned on taking a trip together the next month. On my mom's voicemail there were a ton of messages from them wanting her to call them back. I had to call them and tell what happened.

Most Uncomfortable Thing Ever.

Kedd
06-09-2011, 02:32 PM
An associate of mine from the bar I frequent died recently. We at the bar were the only people he really spent time with so his family has been occasionally calling to talk to some of the bartenders and regulars to get some details about the last few weeks that we had seen him. Very sad stuff.

Girlfriend In A Coma
06-09-2011, 05:01 PM
AAAAHHHH! I don't ever wanto to think of the words lady and gravy together. Ahhhh!


I was going to say that I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I just got sidetracked by the rest of the thread. Gah!

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 05:02 PM
AAAAHHHH! I don't ever wanto to think of the words lady and gravy together. Ahhhh!


I was going to say that I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I just got sidetracked by the rest of the thread. Gah!



It's a very different twist on an old gem. :lol:

The Zevad
06-09-2011, 05:22 PM
It's a very different twist on an old gem. :lol:

Outrageous Roman! Truly truly outrageous!

Roman Noodles
06-09-2011, 05:24 PM
Outrageous Roman! Truly truly outrageous!

"Jiiiizzzzzzzz! I need to you to pro-choice a baby out of a bitch!"

Ryan Elliott
06-09-2011, 05:29 PM
AAAAHHHH! I don't ever wanto to think of the words lady and gravy together. Ahhhh!


I was going to say that I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I just got sidetracked by the rest of the thread. Gah!

So I guess you could say neither you nor Keith...have any taste for the ladygravy?

http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot

Thank you very much! Goodnight!

Girlfriend In A Coma
06-09-2011, 05:31 PM
It's a very different twist on an old gem. :lol:

LOL You make me smile. Haaahaha ^_^