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Udiguhgudibuh
05-22-2011, 06:11 PM
:scared: If YOU haven't cut your expenses to zero, kiss your fanny goodbye.

"The Great Depression" will look like a bump in the road compared to what's about to happen. Contrary to popular misconception, the USA is still the largest manufacturer in the world--- until China overtakes us in the next few months.

:smug: "Government will create jobs!" is the biggest fraud currently preventing widespread panic. Government "creates" jobs only by creating tax breaks, which drive the deficit to even greater heights/depths.

If you haven't downsized beyond your absolute limit, God help you.

michealdark
05-22-2011, 06:15 PM
Have you been drinking while watching Glenn Beck again?

DaveCummings
05-22-2011, 06:26 PM
Have you been drinking while watching Glenn Beck again?

:sherlock:

Kefky
05-22-2011, 06:39 PM
Udigu the conspiracy theorist :rock:

Udiguhgudibuh
05-22-2011, 06:45 PM
Have you been drinking while watching Glenn Beck again?

:sherlock: You pay for cable tee-vee? Glenn Beck and junk? Clearly, I just not gettin' through to you.

:thumb: Me? No cable, no pool, no pets... don't smoke no cigarettes (legal or the good kind). Rent? Taxes? Car? Hell, no! I takes duh heel-toe-express to duh libary-- fer FREE! Lawyer? On commission. Fifty million dollar lawsuit.

Livin' low. Takin' it slow. Before you know, there ain't no moe.

Mattman
05-22-2011, 06:47 PM
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f332/bobrosswasright/2lmlxmejpg.gif

Jacques Toochay
05-22-2011, 06:52 PM
:scared: If YOU haven't cut your expenses to zero, kiss your fanny goodbye.

I don't think cutting expenses to zero is a good long term plan.

michealdark
05-22-2011, 06:54 PM
:sherlock: You pay for cable tee-vee? Glenn Beck and junk? Clearly, I just not gettin' through to you.

:thumb: Me? No cable, no pool, no pets... don't smoke no cigarettes (legal or the good kind). Rent? Taxes? Car? Hell, no! I takes duh heel-toe-express to duh libary-- fer FREE! Lawyer? On commission. Fifty million dollar lawsuit.

Livin' low. Takin' it slow. Before you know, there ain't no moe.

This might be the single most incoherent statement in the history of human kind. Now I am both convinced you're drunk and joking.

Briomega
05-22-2011, 07:01 PM
This might be the single most incoherent statement in the history of human kind. Now I am both convinced you're drunk and joking.

I'm still trying to figure out why he quoted The in the thread title.

The Hodag
05-22-2011, 07:07 PM
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f332/bobrosswasright/2lmlxmejpg.gif

:lol:

Taxman
05-22-2011, 07:07 PM
Damn, I had heard that Ughabugha had quit posting here.

Ray G.
05-22-2011, 07:07 PM
Wat

Jason California
05-22-2011, 07:08 PM
It is coming.

Briomega
05-22-2011, 07:08 PM
Damn, I had heard that Ughabugha had quit posting here.

"You" heard "w"ron"g".

Taxman
05-22-2011, 07:09 PM
"You" heard "w"ron"g".:sherlock:

Jason California
05-22-2011, 07:13 PM
"You" heard "w"ron"g".

Aalgar?

The Hodag
05-22-2011, 07:15 PM
It is coming.

It's here!

http://evilmonito.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/stephen-king-it.jpg

Udiguhgudibuh
05-23-2011, 12:09 PM
This might be the single most incoherent statement in the history of human kind. Now I am both convinced you're drunk and joking.

:shock: "Udiguhgudibuh isn't like the other children," my kindergarten teacher explained to my parents. With all due respect, michaeldark, I'm still working on my piece de resistance: the truly most incoherent statement in history. The irony? The recent false-alarm rapture alert was not only premature, but entirely misguided. This wicked world will not end with the righteous rising naked into the heavens. No such luck.

Anticipate the solemn, slow, final chapter. The current biggest job growth area? "Temporary employment." And then? The end of days.


:boogie: Dance while you can-- and have a nice day. :beer:

MIKE D
05-23-2011, 12:12 PM
Congratulations on being the first person to find obnoxious sanctimony in abject poverty.

HomerGator
05-23-2011, 12:16 PM
Congratulations on being the first person to find obnoxious sanctimony in abject poverty.

What about Oscar the Grouch?

MIKE D
05-23-2011, 12:18 PM
What about Oscar the Grouch?

Comparing a piece of felt to this dude is really insulting to felt.

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 12:18 PM
:shock: "Udiguhgudibuh isn't like the other children," my kindergarten teacher explained to my parents. With all due respect, michaeldark, I'm still working on my piece de resistance: the truly most incoherent statement in history. The irony? The recent false-alarm rapture alert was not only premature, but entirely misguided. This wicked world will not end with the righteous rising naked into the heavens. No such luck.

Anticipate the solemn, slow, final chapter. The current biggest job growth area? "Temporary employment." And then? The end of days.


:boogie: Dance while you can-- and have a nice day. :beer:

Since you aren't paying any money for anything, I can only suppose you got that soapbox you're preaching from out of the recyclable pile.

Imminent End Times. The last refuge of the disenfranchised.

Cth
05-23-2011, 12:19 PM
If you can find the time, you might wanna tell William Price Fox his webpage was hacked.

MIKE D
05-23-2011, 12:22 PM
Since you aren't paying any money for anything, I can only suppose you got that soapbox you're preaching from out of the recyclable pile.

Imminent End Times. The last refuge of the disenfranchised.

If he's sitting in the library typing this, he may have single-handedly justified the de-funding of the library system in his state. It's clearly a waste of tax-payer money.

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 12:33 PM
"Hey, everybody, I can show you how to cut your expenses to zero and not live beyond your needs! It's all in my new book 'How To Live Like A Hobo: Hitting The Rails In Tough Financial Times' and you can have it for four cans of beans, and a story!"

Evan the Shaggy
05-23-2011, 12:35 PM
:sherlock: You pay for cable tee-vee? Glenn Beck and junk? Clearly, I just not gettin' through to you.

:thumb: Me? No cable, no pool, no pets... don't smoke no cigarettes (legal or the good kind). Rent? Taxes? Car? Hell, no! I takes duh heel-toe-express to duh libary-- fer FREE! Lawyer? On commission. Fifty million dollar lawsuit.

Livin' low. Takin' it slow. Before you know, there ain't no moe.

You should stop paying for the internet. FOREVER.

Josh V
05-23-2011, 12:35 PM
"Hey, everybody, I can show you how to cut your expenses to zero and not live beyond your needs! It's all in my new book 'How To Live Like A Hobo: Hitting The Rails In Tough Financial Times' and you can have it for four cans of beans, and a story!"

I only have three cans, can I substitute whisky for a can?

HomerGator
05-23-2011, 12:36 PM
I want to know what the lawsuit is all about. Suing the state for releasing you from the padded room a bit early, are we?

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 12:40 PM
I only have three cans, can I substitute whisky for a can?

"For three cans of beans and a bottle of whiskey, I'll shout passages from the book through your bedroom window while I play with my penis!"

MIKE D
05-23-2011, 12:40 PM
"Hey, everybody, I can show you how to cut your expenses to zero and not live beyond your needs! It's all in my new book 'How To Live Like A Hobo: Hitting The Rails In Tough Financial Times' and you can have it for four cans of beans, and a story!"


From the author of THE HOBO WORKOUT: NO JOB? NO EXCUSE NOT TO GET RIPPED!

HeroBoy
05-23-2011, 12:41 PM
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear this thread over the sound of my Cable TV package that includes Showtime, and HBO, while downloading music from iTunes, of course I paid per single track, on my DSL internet connection, while updating facebook on my iPhone 4G, while bidding on Parker Lewis Can't Lose Seasons on eBay. I was also writing a check to my landlord, thinking about paying a few months in advance, but then what of my dream to get a fast car and taking a drive?

Could you repeat your point, Ugh? And make it fast, Angry Birds will only distract me so long before my turn comes up in the pay version of Words With Friends.

Josh V
05-23-2011, 12:42 PM
"For three cans of beans and a bottle of whiskey, I'll shout passages from the book through your bedroom window while I play with my penis!"

If I can watch then you got yourself a deal mister

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 12:48 PM
If I can watch then you got yourself a deal mister

"As long as you don't mind my business partner Tiny Teeth George staring at you!"

Artie Pink
05-23-2011, 12:49 PM
Sorry I'm late, I was ordering $118 worth of this week's new comic releases.

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 12:53 PM
Sorry I'm late, I was ordering $118 worth of this week's new comic releases.

At least you'll have plenty of kindling during the Coming End Times. Plus, since nobody buys newspapers anymore, something to stuff inside your clothes to keep you warm, when you're not getting any of that sweet hobo spooning.

Cth
05-23-2011, 12:55 PM
I want to know what the lawsuit is all about. Suing the state for releasing you from the padded room a bit early, are we?

http://pacer.ca4.uscourts.gov/opinion.pdf/001359.U.pdf

http://www.lexisone.com/lx1/caselaw/freecaselaw?action=OCLGetCaseDetail&format=FULL&sourceID=gdii&searchTerm=ejXj.ceTa.aadi.YaCC&searchFlag=y&l1loc=FCLOW

?

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 12:59 PM
Hey, does anyone besides me remember those aerobics videos from the 80s, with the models in raccoon makeup, and the absurdly low crotch-shot camera angles?

Evan the Shaggy
05-23-2011, 01:13 PM
Isn't hoarding all of your money counter-intuitive to ceasing a great depression?

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 01:17 PM
Isn't hoarding all of your money counter-intuitive to ceasing a great depression?

Apparently, using it to buy guns, gold and fallout shelters is still within the approved parameters of doom-mongering.

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 01:22 PM
Who put the beans in my bindle?!

Queen of the Ban Age
05-23-2011, 01:24 PM
Moderator edict: It will now cost $20 per post.

HeroBoy
05-23-2011, 01:24 PM
Isn't hoarding all of your money counter-intuitive to ceasing a great depression?

Yeah, but people like him are the difference between a "Pretty Good Deperssion" and a "GREAT Depression"

Evan the Shaggy
05-23-2011, 01:25 PM
who put the beans in my bindle?!

BURN the DUSTER!

Briomega
05-23-2011, 01:26 PM
Moderator edict: It will now cost $20 per post.

:lol:

Cth
05-23-2011, 01:26 PM
Moderator edict: It will now cost $20 per post.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4078/4916358198_504ed86d8a_z.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3295/2937210843_ba0e17edb9_z.jpg

/screwed

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 01:28 PM
BURN the DUSTER!

I'm not going to burn the duster!

Josh V
05-23-2011, 01:34 PM
"As long as you don't mind my business partner Tiny Teeth George staring at you!"

Hey if george is down so am I. You got yourself a deal.

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-23-2011, 01:39 PM
Hey if george is down so am I. You got yourself a deal.

Don't stare at his abnormally small, yet incredibly white and clean, teeth. "Mustache" Pete did that and ended up stabbed in the stomach. He goes to the bathroom in a bag now. It's a ziploc bag.

Jef UK
05-23-2011, 01:43 PM
:scared: If YOU haven't cut your expenses to zero, kiss your fanny goodbye.

"The Great Depression" will look like a bump in the road compared to what's about to happen. Contrary to popular misconception, the USA is still the largest manufacturer in the world--- until China overtakes us in the next few months.

:smug: "Government will create jobs!" is the biggest fraud currently preventing widespread panic. Government "creates" jobs only by creating tax breaks, which drive the deficit to even greater heights/depths.

If you haven't downsized beyond your absolute limit, God help you.

The best way for governments to create jobs is to invest in building and repairing infrastructure, and investing in education so that businesses have an educated work force from which to hire and bringing innovation and therby new jobs with them, so creating incentives for businesses is in fact not the only way for the government to create jobs.

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 01:46 PM
The best way for governments to create jobs is to invest in building and repairing infrastructure, and investing in education so that businesses have an educated work force from which to hire and bringing innovation and therby new jobs with them, so creating incentives for businesses is in fact not the only way for the government to create jobs.

Well said. Of course, you didn't overuse bold text or inappropriate emoticons, so I therefore reject your argument outright.

Jef UK
05-23-2011, 01:47 PM
I love the word, "bindle."

Jef UK
05-23-2011, 01:51 PM
Well said. Of course, you didn't overuse bold text or inappropriate emoticons, so I therefore reject your argument outright.

I don't listen to NPR for nuthin! :)

Josh V
05-23-2011, 01:52 PM
Don't stare at his abnormally small, yet incredibly white and clean, teeth. "Mustache" Pete did that and ended up stabbed in the stomach. He goes to the bathroom in a bag now. It's a ziploc bag.

Is it at least a gallon bag? If not then he is a monster!

Forrest
05-23-2011, 01:52 PM
...what are we talking about?

Squirrel Girl?

russw
05-23-2011, 02:03 PM
...what are we talking about?

Squirrel Girl?

that's the other guys schtick

AlienKeyes
05-23-2011, 02:20 PM
old people shouldn't be allowed to have computers. or drive.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-23-2011, 07:53 PM
The best way for governments to create jobs is to invest in building and repairing infrastructure, and investing in education so that businesses have an educated work force from which to hire and bringing innovation and thereby new jobs with them, so creating incentives for businesses is in fact not the only way for the government to create jobs.

:roll: While your dogged enthusiasm is most assuredly applause-worthy, Jef UK, I fear your proposals still leave us in an undeniable spot of trouble-- or two.

(1) While it is doubtless that the infrastructure is crumbling rapidly, payment for rebuilding it can only come from one source: the government (i.e, taxes and/or more grievous deficit spending). That inevitably involves a bloated bureaucracy that inevitably delivers only a tiny percentabe of the funds for the intended purpose.

(2) As for education and innovation, history proves that both avenues lead us irreversibly to job elimination-- not to job creation. The goal of both specialized, advanced education and product development is to eliminate the need for "the working man."


:thumb: The only solution? Since energy, resources, and inhabitable land area are unquestionably shrinking with each passing hour, the only mutable variable is reducing the Earth's population-- soon to exceed seven billion!


:surrend: Which noble volunteer will be the next to enter that unknown land from which no traveler returns?
Save time! Save money! Avoid the rush!

Taxman
05-23-2011, 07:55 PM
...what are we talking about?practice

Briomega
05-23-2011, 07:56 PM
:roll: While your dogged enthusiasm is most assuredly applause-worthy, Jef UK, I fear your proposals still leave us in an undeniable spot of trouble-- or two.

(1) While it is doubtless that the infrastructure is crumbling rapidly, payment for rebuilding it can only come from one source: the government (i.e, taxes and/or more grievous deficit spending). That inevitably involves a bloated bureaucracy that delivers disastrously less than the applied funds to the intended purpose.

(2) As for education and innovation, history proves that both avenues lead us irreversibly to job elimination-- not to job creation. The goal of both specialized, advanced education and product development is to eliminate the need for "the working man."

:thumb: The only solution? Since energy, resources, and inhabitable land area are unquestionably shrinking with each passing hour, the only mutable variable is reducing the Earth's population (soon to reach nine billion).

:surrend: Which noble volunteer will be the next to enter the unknown land from which no man returns?

Save time! Save money! Avoid the rush!

Are you volunteering to kill yourself to save the world?

Or am I reading this wrong.

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 08:20 PM
:boogie: While peddling his opinions as indisputable truths, Udiguhgudibuh contemplated his love for bold text. :Ponder:

:roll: "Methinks I'll indicate my innate superiority with an eye-roll emoticon," he thought to himself, "or perhaps show my intellectualized disdain with a big thumbs-up." :thumb:

:smug: "No, that's just not conveying my smug sense of being an all-knowing fountain of inexhaustible wisdom.":jackoff:

:heart: "I guess I'm just happy :happy: to have surrendered :surrend: to my paranoia :scared: and delusions :crazy: of grandeur :babble: as a prophet :blah: of doom." :doom:

"Although I am a :Pimp:, anyone can see that I'm also an intellectual :superman: who is simply :Fantastic, even though I'm really wasting my :clock: on all this :drama:. As a :geek:, I am the :king:. Who would dare to cross swords with so fine a mind?" he wondered. :duel:

"As a purveyor of :Poo:, I'm certainly the :bomb:."

Udiguhgudibuh
05-23-2011, 08:21 PM
Are you volunteering to kill yourself to save the world?

Or am I reading this wrong.

:smug: You're close, but I'm actually leaving it up to the yet-to-be-chosen jury to decide.

Briomega
05-23-2011, 08:22 PM
Is the jury us?

Mattman
05-23-2011, 08:30 PM
:smug: You're close, but I'm actually leaving it up to the yet-to-be-chosen jury to decide.
You just stopped being funny.

Phantom Eagle
05-23-2011, 08:58 PM
You just stopped being funny.

:sherlock: "Perhaps you're just not familiar with my schtick," wrote Udi. :innocent:

:cowboy::ninja::danceyar::robot: "I'm a cowboy ninja pirate robot of bolded text, inane replies, and overused emoticons, coupled with an outsized sense of personal importance." :wave:

:mistrust: "Stopped being funny? Good sir, I never started." :cry::Oops::eek::sad::miffed::dunno::bored::brkhea rt::-|:Panic::shifty::boohoo::-(:x

Pat Shatner
05-23-2011, 10:21 PM
Thank you, Phantom Eagle.

AlienKeyes
05-23-2011, 11:24 PM
:sherlock: "Perhaps you're just not familiar with my schtick," wrote Udi. :innocent:

:cowboy::ninja::danceyar::robot: "I'm a cowboy ninja pirate robot of bolded text, inane replies, and overused emoticons, coupled with an outsized sense of personal importance." :wave:


:mistrust: "Stopped being funny? Good sir, I never started." :cry::Oops::eek::sad::miffed::dunno::bored::brkhea rt::-|:Panic::shifty::boohoo::-(:x

perfect.

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 04:14 AM
Phantom Eagle is the Hero this thread deserves

MIKE D
05-24-2011, 04:27 AM
Phantom Eagle is the Hero this thread deserves

Someone finally figured out how to post like that and actually be interesting!

Cth
05-24-2011, 07:05 AM
I knew I should have posted this yesterday :D

http://newcomicreviews.com/bendisboard/junk/Udi2.JPG

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-24-2011, 07:18 AM
"Reduce the Earths population." How do you propose going about that?

LenNWallace
05-24-2011, 07:22 AM
"Reduce the Earths population." How do you propose going about that?

Why good sir, simply by sending all of Earth's homeless to middle class people to Mars!

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 07:27 AM
"Reduce the Earths population." How do you propose going about that?

Poison the bottled water like the plot of the Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt hit movie, The Tuxedo!

LenNWallace
05-24-2011, 07:28 AM
Poison the bottled water like the plot of the Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt hit movie, The Tuxedo!

That was a real movie plot? Because that's GENIUS!

chazbot
05-24-2011, 07:33 AM
Poison the bottled water like the plot of the Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt hit movie, The Tuxedo!

But will we have Jackie Chan's footwork and Jennifer Love Hweitt's boobwork to save the day this time???

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 07:35 AM
That was a real movie plot? Because that's GENIUS!

Was it ever! It was only by the grace of God and a tuxedo suit that had Iron Man like abilities that we were able to survive in this movie-verse.

Also, the Tuxedo could make you dance like James Brown.

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 07:36 AM
Just in case anyone is actually worried about the economy, I work for millionaires whose job it is to make more millions for themselves. And they've been doing it for a long time. They've been through recessions before, and while this one was bigger and different than any they've seen before, they're still sure we're gonna bounce back just fine. In fact, they say the rubber band is gonna snap back hard.

So you can believe crazy "end is nigh" smiley guy broadcasting from his tin shack who has nothing to lose, or you can believe a guy who owns his own skyscraper and has millions to lose. Up to you.

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-24-2011, 07:49 AM
Just in case anyone is actually worried about the economy, I work for millionaires whose job it is to make more millions for themselves. And they've been doing it for a long time. They've been through recessions before, and while this one was bigger and different than any they've seen before, they're still sure we're gonna bounce back just fine. In fact, they say the rubber band is gonna snap back hard.

So you can believe crazy "end is nigh" smiley guy broadcasting from his tin shack who has nothing to lose, or you can believe a guy who owns his own skyscraper and has millions to lose. Up to you.

That's exactly what you'd like us to think!

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 08:01 AM
The thread title, by the way, sounds like a threat a Bond Villian would say.

The Robot Lord of Tokyo
05-24-2011, 08:37 AM
"Reduce the Earths population." How do you propose going about that?

Ugi just rented Watchmen at the library. I think he knows the way to go for this.

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 08:53 AM
Ugi just rented Watchmen at the library. I think he knows the way to go for this.

He could save us, but instead, he will look down and :smug:

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 09:59 AM
You just stopped being funny.

:?: Confused. Please clarify:

Which of the following do you find least amusing?
(1) My death.
(2) The end of the world as we know it.
(3) "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno
(4) The end of "Larry King, Live!"

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 10:00 AM
He could save us, but instead, he will look down and :smug:

:smug:'s not locked up in here with us, we're locked up in here with :smug:!

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 10:17 AM
:boogie: While peddling his opinions as indisputable truths, Udiguhgudibuh contemplated his love for bold text. :Ponder:

:roll: "Methinks I'll indicate my innate superiority with an eye-roll emoticon," he thought to himself, "or perhaps show my intellectualized disdain with a big thumbs-up." :thumb:

:smug: "No, that's just not conveying my smug sense of being an all-knowing fountain of inexhaustible wisdom.":jackoff:

:heart: "I guess I'm just happy :happy: to have surrendered :surrend: to my paranoia :scared: and delusions :crazy: of grandeur :babble: as a prophet :blah: of doom." :doom:

"Although I am a :Pimp:, anyone can see that I'm also an intellectual :superman: who is simply :Fantastic, even though I'm really wasting my :clock: on all this :drama:. As a :geek:, I am the :king:. Who would dare to cross swords with so fine a mind?" he wondered. :duel:

"As a purveyor of :Poo:, I'm certainly the :bomb:."


:yoda: RESPECT! The power of the Farce grows strong with you, Grasshopper.

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 10:20 AM
:yoda: RESPECT! The power of the Farce grows strong with you, Grasshopper.

Grasshoper and a "force" are mixing things up. You should have used Padawan instead, :vader:

MIKE D
05-24-2011, 10:28 AM
:?: Confused. Please clarify:

Which of the following do you find least amusing?
(1) My death.
(2) The end of the world as we know it.
(3) "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno
(4) The end of "Larry King, Live!"

One of those things is endlessly amusing.

Kefky
05-24-2011, 10:37 AM
One of those things is endlessly amusing.

A Jay Leno fan among us? :scared:

Cth
05-24-2011, 10:38 AM
In case anyone wants to put a face with the name:
http://newcomicreviews.com/bendisboard/junk/Udiguhgudibuh.JPG

MIKE D
05-24-2011, 10:51 AM
In case anyone wants to put a face with the name:
.

He looks like R. Crumb.

MIKE D
05-24-2011, 10:53 AM
A Jay Leno fan among us? :scared:

What can I say that the overwhelming genius of "Jaywalking" couldn't?

AlienKeyes
05-24-2011, 11:27 AM
.

He looks like R. Crumb.

Don't you say that about R. Crumb!

Fourthman
05-24-2011, 11:30 AM
In case anyone wants to put a face with the name:
http://newcomicreviews.com/bendisboard/junk/Udiguhgudibuh.JPG

If only there were some sort of tool that could make out of focus images clearer...

TIP
05-24-2011, 11:30 AM
In case anyone wants to put a face with the name:
http://newcomicreviews.com/bendisboard/junk/Udiguhgudibuh.JPG

http://museum-go-round.tripod.com/01rogers.JPG

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 11:54 AM
"Reduce the Earths population." How do you propose going about that?

:Pig: First, of course, we must crush, quash, quell, sever forever, and terminate the testicles of "Arnold the Pig" Schwarzenegger-- and post these toasted, tortured, toxic Teutonic orbs on You Tube, to receive the perpetual plaudits of the multitude!

A dramatic start-- but then it gets sticky. There is no painless answer to the population explosion.

While the danger of unchecked population growth was well understood 70 years ago, the best-selling book "The Population Bomb" [1968] made it public knowledge: "By the time you finish reading this," said the cover," four people will have starved to death-- most of them were children."

Despite this dire warning and universal acknowledgement of the problem, the world population HAS DOUBLED in just the past 40 YEARS!

Science has only accelerated the problem.
In 1900, the average American life expectancy was 48 years; today, it is 79 years.

In 1729, the Anglo-Irish satirist Dr. Johathan Swift wrote his famously sardonic "solution" to the problem of overpopulation in Ireland: "A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children and Poor People In Ireland Being a Burden on Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick."

The narrator recommends that Ireland's poor escape their poverty by selling their children as food to the rich: "I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food...."


:bored: A rather interesting, practical abortion alternative-- don't you agree?

thatguyfromsyracuse
05-24-2011, 12:30 PM
I get it now. You're mentally unstable.

AlienKeyes
05-24-2011, 12:45 PM
ok then.

Phantom Eagle
05-24-2011, 12:49 PM
http://weblog.timoregan.com/uploaded_images/Eat-the-Rich-726478.jpg

DaveCummings
05-24-2011, 12:52 PM
Wait, I'm confused. Did the rapture actually happen? Did the end of the world start? Am I too late for post apocalypse looting? Were there any commemorative glasses or T-Shirts I missed out on?

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 12:52 PM
Just in case anyone is actually worried about the economy, I work for millionaires whose job it is to make more millions for themselves. And they've been doing it for a long time. They've been through recessions before, and while this one was bigger and different than any they've seen before, they're still sure we're gonna bounce back just fine. In fact, they say the rubber band is gonna snap back hard.

So you can believe crazy "end is nigh" smiley guy broadcasting from his tin shack who has nothing to lose, or you can believe a guy who owns his own skyscraper and has millions to lose. Up to you.



Well, pal Jim, you clearly have more faith in millionaires than my experience justifies. I've seen too many documentaries about the recent financial collapse, and guess who dunnit? Millionaires! I hope you're right, but I do remember Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa:

"Wish in one hand and :Poo: in the other, Kid, and see which one fills up first."



:cool: Yeah, I'm keeping a low profile, but own a house, paid for educating two sons-- and have a huge asset: an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages-- against a lying millionaire weasel with a business, two yachts, and about ten pieces of land and several houses. Lots of witnesses. Concrete proof. Yeah, he's sweatin' like Satan in a sauna.


:btshield: THE RIDDLER
Q: "What is it no man wants, but no man wants to lose?"

A: "A lawsuit."

Briomega
05-24-2011, 12:56 PM
Why would Satan be in a sauna and why would he sweat in it? He's more than used to the heat.

Phantom Eagle
05-24-2011, 12:56 PM
I hope you get your paper money while it's still worth the paper it's printed on.

AlienKeyes
05-24-2011, 12:56 PM
Well, pal Jim, you clearly have more faith in millionaires than my experience justifies. I've seen too many documentaries about the recent financial collapse, and guess who dunnit? Millionaires! I hope you're right, but I do remember Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa:

"Wish in one hand and :Poo: in the other, Kid, and see which one fills up first."



:cool: Yeah, I'm keeping a low profile, but own a house, paid for educating two sons-- and have a huge asset: an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages-- against a lying millionaire weasel with a business, two yachts, and about ten pieces of land and several houses. Lots of witnesses. Concrete proof. Yeah, he's sweatin' like Satan in a sauna.


:btshield: THE RIDDLER
Q: "What is it no man wants, but no man wants to lose?"

A: "A lawsuit."

I don't understand how someone can actually communicate like this.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 12:57 PM
http://weblog.timoregan.com/uploaded_images/Eat-the-Rich-726478.jpg

:twisted: You got it. Go lawsuit!

DaveCummings
05-24-2011, 12:58 PM
I don't understand how someone can actually communicate like this.


My theory is that it involves high doses of Ambien

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 01:14 PM
Well, pal Jim, you clearly have more faith in millionaires than my experience justifies. I've seen too many documentaries about the recent financial collapse, and guess who dunnit? Millionaires! I hope you're right, but I do remember Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa:

"Wish in one hand and :Poo: in the other, Kid, and see which one fills up first."



:cool: Yeah, I'm keeping a low profile, but own a house, paid for educating two sons-- and have a huge asset: an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages-- against a lying millionaire weasel with a business, two yachts, and about ten pieces of land and several houses. Lots of witnesses. Concrete proof. Yeah, he's sweatin' like Satan in a sauna.


:btshield: THE RIDDLER
Q: "What is it no man wants, but no man wants to lose?"

A: "A lawsuit."

Dude, I didn't know you'd seen documentaries! Shit, this IS serious!

AlienKeyes
05-24-2011, 01:16 PM
Dude, I didn't know you'd seen documentaries! Shit, this IS serious!

He also saw Bad Santa.

Fourthman
05-24-2011, 01:17 PM
On the other hand, after reading a few of these posts Jack Kerouac's style has actually become palatable.

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 01:20 PM
He also saw Bad Santa.

I found that endearing, actually.

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 01:21 PM
TELL US WHAT TO DO, MORGAN SPURLOCK!l

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 01:31 PM
Wait, I'm confused. Did the rapture actually happen? Did the end of the world start? Am I too late for post apocalypse looting? Were there any commemorative glasses or T-Shirts I missed out on?

:cool: No, rapture but no lost t-shirt opportunity either: the redeemed allegedly float into heaven buck-naked! (Zero undies!) I just heard that somebody actually spent "millions" (partially from contributions) to advertise the projected time of the event. Why? Damfino.

The "advertiser" said he will not refund any contributions, or publicize the rapture again-- since everybody has already been informed of the upcoming event.

:bored: Too bad. I was looking forward to some really goofy YouTube coverage. (The economy did die-- but it's less "filmic.")

Phantom Eagle
05-24-2011, 01:33 PM
I guess when you get your millions, you'll invest it all in guns, gold, and land for that Swiftian free-range toddler farm to supply your Soylent Green factory.

Cth
05-24-2011, 01:36 PM
Shoulda invested in DVD, VHS is so 80s. Shoulda invested in Blu-Ray, DVD is so 90s.

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 01:37 PM
I'm suing Olive Garden for an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages. The food they sold me literally turned to shit once it was within my own body!

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 01:38 PM
Shoulda invested in DVD, VHS is so 80s. Shoulda invested in Blu-Ray, DVD is so 90s.

Physical media is so 00's. I'm investing in the cloud. That one looks like a bunny!

Phantom Eagle
05-24-2011, 01:47 PM
I'm suing Olive Garden for an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages. The food they sold me literally turned to shit once it was within my own body!

I've eaten at Olive Garden. It was shit before you ate it.

Cth
05-24-2011, 02:09 PM
From the Q&A:



LET'S SAY YOU'RE AT A BAR, AND I'M AT A BAR, AND THAT YOU'RE HOMOSEXUAL, AND THAT I'M.. AT A BAR. AND LET'S SAY I SLIPPED A MICKEY INTO YOUR WINE SPRITZER AND THEN TIED YOU TO THE BACK OF MY MOPED AND TOOK YOU TO DISNEYWORLD. LET'S THEN SAY THAT WE HAD A WONDERFUL AFTERNOON, AND WENT ON SPACE MOUNTAIN THREE TIMES EACH, AND THEN EACH HAD A HOT DOG AND A ROOTBEER FLOAT. AFTER THAT WE HEADED TO EPCOT AND REALLY APPRECIATED HOW SOME CULTURES HAVE LOG RIDES AND SOME DON'T. THEN WE HEADED OVER TO THE IT'S A SMALL WORLD AND PUNCHED AN ESKIMO. LET'S SAY AFTER THAT I TOOK YOU HOME. AND THEN THAT YOU WERE ALL LIKE "MAN, LET'S GO ROB A 7-11" AND SO WE WENT AND ROBBED AN OLIVE GARDEN, CAUSE IT WAS CLOSER AND THEY'VE GOT TASTY BREADSTICKS. THEN THE COPS CAUGHT UP WITH US AND WERE ALL LIKE "DID YOU ROB THE OLIVE GARDEN?" AND WE TOLD THEM WE DID, AND THEN WE OFFERED THEM SOME CHICKEN PARMESAN THAT WE ALSO STOLE AND THEY WERE TOTALLY COOL WITH IT. AFTER THAN WE WENT TO ONE OF THE COPS COUSINS PLACE AND PLAYED TETRIS, CAUSE TETRIS IS ALWAYS FUN AND COPS ARE VERY BAD AT IT. THEN LET'S SAY I WAS DROPPING YOU OFF BACK AT HOME. MY QUESTION IS, WOULD IT BE AWKWARD TO GO IN FOR A KISS? I MEAN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BOTH HAD A REALLY FUN DAY BUT I DON'T WANT TO COME OFF AS TOO AGGRESSIVE. I REALLY AM STRAIGHT. JUST WONDERING HOW GAY YOU'D GET FOR ME B. PEACE OUT LOVER.
.. THIS IS:
A) THE BEST QUESITON IN THIS WHOLE THREAD
B) MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT DATE



c) The reason I have moved.

Briomega
05-24-2011, 03:01 PM
:cool: No, rapture but no lost t-shirt opportunity either: the redeemed allegedly float into heaven buck-naked! (Zero undies!) I just heard that somebody actually spent "millions" (partially from contributions) to advertise the projected time of the event. Why? Damfino.


Vinny "The Tooth" Damfino?

HomerGator
05-24-2011, 03:09 PM
WTF? lol

That's a wacky Q & A

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 05:03 PM
THE WORLD IS GONNA END! Make sure you have a bunch of money saved up for it, I guess?


Why? I don't know, I guess we're all gonna go to Vegas for one last Drink Up before the shit goes down.

Artie Pink
05-24-2011, 05:25 PM
I'm suing Jon Bon Jovi for an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages. It's not fair to the rest of us that he's so boyishly handsome at age 49!

MIKE D
05-24-2011, 05:27 PM
I'm suing Jon Bon Jovi for an in-the-bag winnable lawsuit with $50+ million provable damages. It's not fair to the rest of us that he's so boyishly handsome at age 49!

I'm suing him for libel. He told everyone I gave love a bad name.

HeroBoy
05-24-2011, 05:28 PM
"Who's suing the government about a case involving tainted meat..."

Len Snark
05-24-2011, 07:24 PM
If he's sitting in the library typing this, he may have single-handedly justified the de-funding of the library system in his state. It's clearly a waste of tax-payer money.

http://i902.photobucket.com/albums/ac226/LenSnark/haters-gonna-hate.jpg

Udiguhgudibuh
05-24-2011, 08:10 PM
I guess when you get your millions, you'll invest it all in guns, gold, and land for that Swiftian free-range toddler farm to supply your Soylent Green factory.

:thumb: You think almost as fast as I do, Phantom Eagle! In addition to all the above, I'm clearing out 12 years of legal papers to restore my home gym to full function!

But there's more:

(1) Since you just can't keep the classics down, ALL The FIRM DVD workouts are being remastered on Blu-Ray!
(2) Despite diminished enthusiasm The Rapture has been seriously rescheduled for Friday, October 20!
(3) As previously verified by my on-consignment attorney Bombastic Battlestick, Esq., residency alone entitles me to full use of the public library!


:boogie: :beer: :boogie: :beer:
Party Hearty...
Repent Tomorrow!

Phantom Eagle
05-25-2011, 10:32 PM
:thumb: You think almost as fast as I do, Phantom Eagle! In addition to all the above, I'm clearing out 12 years of legal papers to restore my home gym to full function!

But there's more:

(1) Since you just can't keep the classics down, ALL The FIRM DVD workouts are being remastered on Blu-Ray!
(2) Despite diminished enthusiasm The Rapture has been seriously rescheduled for Friday, October 20!
(3) As previously verified by my on-consignment attorney Bombastic Battlestick, Esq., residency alone entitles me to full use of the public library!


:boogie: :beer: :boogie: :beer:
Party Hearty...
Repent Tomorrow!

:nodidnt: Another back-handed compliment straight from the tar-paper shack at the top of your ivory tower.

:announce: Helpfully, you include yet another plug for your products, if only to put more money in the pockets of your rivals.

:ecstatic: Stroking your own ego like Blofeld rubbing his pussy, it seems your tinfoil hat is once again askew.

http://ghostradio.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/blofeld.jpg

"No, Mr. Udi, I expect you to bloviate!"

Briomega
05-25-2011, 10:35 PM
PE better get a BenBo Award for this shit. :)

MIKE D
05-26-2011, 12:52 AM
PE better get a BenBo Award for this shit. :)

I'm already thinking Man Of The Year.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-26-2011, 03:33 AM
PE better get a BenBo Award for this shit. :)

:bored: Formerly playful tone turns vicious and ugly. Too bad.

HeroBoy
05-26-2011, 04:33 AM
:bored: Formerly playful tone turns vicious and ugly. Too bad.

How'd you get the copy to my personal ad?

Phantom Eagle
05-26-2011, 09:31 AM
:no: Formerly amusing poster turns arrogant and patronizing. Too funny.

Fourthman
05-26-2011, 09:51 AM
:no: Formerly amusing poster turns arrogant and patronizing. Too funny.

Sorry, it's been a tough week.

Brian Defferding
05-26-2011, 10:27 AM
Udiguhgudibuh, I love having you around. I get a kick out of your posts. Just wanted to say that.

Len Snark
05-26-2011, 07:19 PM
In case anyone wants to put a face with the name:
http://newcomicreviews.com/bendisboard/junk/Udiguhgudibuh.JPG

This was kind of uncool to post a pic without his permission, no?

AlienKeyes
05-26-2011, 07:30 PM
This was kind of uncool to post a pic without his permission, no?

Why?

HeroBoy
05-26-2011, 07:38 PM
Why?

because apparently message board etiquette is to pretend Google doesn't exist...

Len Snark
05-26-2011, 08:39 PM
Is that what we're doing now? Just outing people's real names and posting pictures of people on the board that we don't like? It's a bit unseemly, isn't it?

Cth
05-27-2011, 08:23 AM
Is that what we're doing now? Just outing people's real names and posting pictures of people on the board that we don't like? It's a bit unseemly, isn't it?

1) He's made his name known on the board multiple times.

2) Just because a photo is posted, does not equate to disliking the guy

3) You missed the part where Johnny C posted everything Udi posted online and even posted a pic of who he thought he might be -- it was wrong, and Udi didn't mind then either.

Taxman
05-27-2011, 08:33 AM
This was kind of uncool to post a pic without his permission, no?He claims to be a semi-public figure. I don't really see the difference between this and posting a pic found on the net of someone like Alex Maleev.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-27-2011, 04:18 PM
He claims to be a semi-public figure. I don't really see the difference between this and posting a pic found on the net of someone like Alex Maleev.

:bored: While I have appeared with my partners in a number of catalogs for The FIRM, I doubt I'd be considered "a public figure" (and have never desired to be one).

Copyright law is very complex, and should ultimately encourage creativity by protecting the creator(s)' financial rights. Since I had no part in "directing" the posted photo, I had no part in its creativity-- and therefore am not a copyright owner. The rightful copyright is the hack who clicked the shutter-- just as with wedding photos arranged by the wedding photographer. Whoever supplies the creativity is the rightful copyright owner, unless an overriding contract is involved.

The copyright owner, however, is due additional payment for any "second use" other than that inherently intended. While copyright law is inherently quite simple, crooked lawyers, incompetent judges, and rampant perjury of non-creative participants make it a ripe legal area for confusion of the jurors.

One attorney called me, "The poster child for frivolous lawsuits." Because I simply refused to reward blatant liars and thieves, my legal fight is in its thirteenth year. Lost attorney fees: $843,000. Lost business royalty value: more than $50,000. (Perry Mason is MUCH more flagrantly fictitious than Batman.)

Udiguhgudibuh
05-27-2011, 05:46 PM
because apparently message board etiquette is to pretend Google doesn't exist...

:shock: "Etiquette"! ALL HAIL HERO BOY for introducing a new concept to this Web site! (What arcane manifestations of ancient civilization will the man introduce next?)

Len Snark
05-27-2011, 07:27 PM
1) He's made his name known on the board multiple times.

2) Just because a photo is posted, does not equate to disliking the guy

3) You missed the part where Johnny C posted everything Udi posted online and even posted a pic of who he thought he might be -- it was wrong, and Udi didn't mind then either.

I just feel like there's kind of a witch hunt for Oogie. I'm not saying you were doing it per se, but you weren't discouraging it either, y'know? Maybe I'm off base.

chazbot
05-27-2011, 07:41 PM
:shock: "Etiquette"! ALL HAIL HERO BOY for introducing a new concept to this Web site! (What arcane manifestations of ancient civilization will the man introduce next?)

Maybe cannibalism since we'll all be too poor and ill-equipped to scavenge for food in the future.

Phantom Eagle
05-27-2011, 07:50 PM
Maybe cannibalism since we'll all be too poor and ill-equipped to scavenge for food in the future.

I think Udi already advocated that several pages ago. But just in case we can't find any people, we can always fill up on non-nutritional bulk fiber.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-27-2011, 10:09 PM
Maybe cannibalism since we'll all be too poor and ill-equipped to scavenge for food in the future.

:no: In all fairness and humility, I cannot claim originality for any of the aforementioned methods to mitigate your misery in the fast-approaching end of days:

"The ancients stole all our best ideas." --Mark Twain


In addition to the previously remedies, one truth makes the obvious ultimate solution clear indeed:
"In the end, the living will envy will envy the dead."

:Pirate: To be the envy or your neighborhood, just remember this charming catchy couplet:
"A bottle of rum makes you warm and numb;
Then a round in the head makes certain you're DEAD!"

:danceyar: Die the death; make the passage-- YAR OUTA HERE!

Phantom Eagle
05-28-2011, 10:04 AM
:dead: "This is no time to make new enemies."
- Voltaire, upon his deathbed

http://www.visual-arts-cork.com/images-sculptures/houdon-voltaire.jpg

The Robot Lord of Tokyo
05-28-2011, 12:46 PM
This thread reminds me of a family holiday where you want to have a good time but your near senile grandfather is spouting off outlandish and absurd things that confuses and annoys everyone. And there is that one cousin who is prodding and goading grandpa along which only intensifies the situation.

And nobody decided to make any gravy so while the mashed potatoes are fine they would have been ten times better with the goddamn gravy. And.....oh son of a bitch. Uncle drank too much wine. I'm not driving him home. Why? Because he lives 20 miles away in the opposite direction as me. This always happens. Why not just have him crash here? Well,then hide his keys. IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
And can someone tell those damn kids to stop teasing the dog? Why? He'll bite them, that's why. You know what? Forget it. Let him bite them. Maybe their parents will finally learn a lesson. Listen, the dad is still out of work after 8 months so he better get used to actually being a father and pay attention to his damn kids. I don't care what his former firm said, they aren't hiring him back. And if his wife figures out it's because he was banging his intern their marriage is over.
Why am I even talking to you about this? I just want to watch the fucking fooball game.
Screw it. I'm going home.

Fourthman
05-28-2011, 01:06 PM
This thread reminds me of a family holiday where you want to have a good time but your near senile grandfather is spouting off outlandish and absurd things that confuses and annoys everyone. And there is that one cousin who is prodding and goading grandpa along which only intensifies the situation.

And nobody decided to make any gravy so while the mashed potatoes are fine they would have been ten times better with the goddamn gravy. And.....oh son of a bitch. Uncle drank too much wine. I'm not driving him home. Why? Because he lives 20 miles away in the opposite direction as me. This always happens. Why not just have him crash here? Well,then hide his keys. IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
And can someone tell those damn kids to stop teasing the dog? Why? He'll bite them, that's why. You know what? Forget it. Let him bite them. Maybe their parents will finally learn a lesson. Listen, the dad is still out of work after 8 months so he better get used to actually being a father and pay attention to his damn kids. I don't care what his former firm said, they aren't hiring him back. And if his wife figures out it's because he was banging his intern their marriage is over.
Why am I even talking to you about this? I just want to watch the fucking fooball game.
Screw it. I'm going home.

I thought it was more like hanging out with a bunch of friends and a new guy keeps showing up and saying obvious shit in a loud and inauthentic cockney accent.

But yours is much better.

Taxman
05-28-2011, 01:12 PM
This thread reminds me of a family holiday where you want to have a good time but your near senile grandfather is spouting off outlandish and absurd things that confuses and annoys everyone. And there is that one cousin who is prodding and goading grandpa along which only intensifies the situation.

And nobody decided to make any gravy so while the mashed potatoes are fine they would have been ten times better with the goddamn gravy. And.....oh son of a bitch. Uncle drank too much wine. I'm not driving him home. Why? Because he lives 20 miles away in the opposite direction as me. This always happens. Why not just have him crash here? Well,then hide his keys. IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
And can someone tell those damn kids to stop teasing the dog? Why? He'll bite them, that's why. You know what? Forget it. Let him bite them. Maybe their parents will finally learn a lesson. Listen, the dad is still out of work after 8 months so he better get used to actually being a father and pay attention to his damn kids. I don't care what his former firm said, they aren't hiring him back. And if his wife figures out it's because he was banging his intern their marriage is over.
Why am I even talking to you about this? I just want to watch the fucking fooball game.
Screw it. I'm going home.You're forgetting also about how much Metamucil the grandfather is taking.

Udiguhgudibuh
05-29-2011, 05:02 PM
:Ponder: As the dog said while making love to the skunk, "I've had about as much of this as I can enjoy."


:clock: That's just a joke, FYI-- LOL. I'm just requesting that all your insults have been registered, so that they might be efficiently reduced flatter than hammered manure-- in one foul soup.

:cool: Thank you for cooperating in the name of Internet economy, however foreign and distasteful the attempt may be for you.


Your most generous mentor,
Udiguhgudibuh

Phantom Eagle
05-29-2011, 05:35 PM
:Please: As the complainant said while hurling brickbats, "Nuh-uhh!"


:cry: I've opened a fresh jar of corn squeezin's, and I'm currently updating my enemies list.

:sad: Something vaguely insulting.


Something vaguely belittling,
Oogety-Boogety

;-)

BriRedfern
05-31-2011, 07:53 AM
"You" heard "w"ron"g".

Ugi is Ron Propeil?

That actually makes a lot of sense.

Forrest
05-31-2011, 10:32 AM
This thread reminds me of a family holiday where you want to have a good time but your near senile grandfather is spouting off outlandish and absurd things that confuses and annoys everyone. And there is that one cousin who is prodding and goading grandpa along which only intensifies the situation.

:lol:

I was wondering why this thread was still alive and bumping itself up in my subscribed thread list. Now I know why.

P.S. You kids know that they kidnapped me away in the night and replaced my fillings with satellite tracking devices? Goddamn C.I.A.!!!

Udiguhgudibuh
05-31-2011, 11:51 AM
This thread reminds me of a family holiday where you want to have a good time but your near senile grandfather is spouting off outlandish and absurd things that confuses and annoys everyone.

:Ponder: While I would never dream of naming names, (particularly to spare Phantom Eagle further self-humiliation), this thread became remotely interesting when it seemingly gave unexpected purpose to the apparenly hollow lives of those who crave self-approbation, received by railing against a well-intended trivial, absurdist bit of whimsy intended to entertain.

Admittedly unworthy of Lewis Carroll, the trifle does (I still believe) have its intended madcap, twisted charm. Instead of its intended effect, however, the thread provoked a surprising wave of decided counter-charm! "Senile," "Grand-Dad" ["granddad," for those who value correctness]. "Jokes" about :Poo:?

:dunno: My alleged offense? Apparently, it is having too many birthdays! It's not as if I stole my impressive number of orbits around the Sun. I hardly think that fact of life renders me "senile." On the contrary, I feel a juvenile as ever! Age is conventionally considered to enhance knowledge and wisdom-- or is the contrary correct? Damfino.


"I'm not young enough to know everything." --Oscar Wilde

Artie Pink
05-31-2011, 12:09 PM
This thread is now like the last few unfunny seasons of M*A*S*H.

Briomega
05-31-2011, 12:12 PM
:Ponder: While I would never dream of naming names, (particularly to spare Phantom Eagle further self-humiliation), this thread became remotely interesting when it seemingly gave unexpected purpose to the apparenly hollow lives of those who crave self-approbation, received by railing against a well-intended trivial, absurdist bit of whimsy intended to entertain.

Admittedly unworthy of Lewis Carroll, the trifle does (I still believe) have its intended madcap, twisted charm. Instead of its intended effect, however, the thread provoked a surprising wave of decided counter-charm! "Senile," "Grand-Dad" ["granddad," for those who value correctness]. "Jokes" about :Poo:?

:dunno: My alleged offense? Apparently, it is having too many birthdays! It's not as if I stole my impressive number of orbits around the Sun. I hardly think that fact of life renders me "senile." On the contrary, I feel a juvenile as ever! Age is conventionally considered to enhance knowledge and wisdom-- or is the contrary correct? Damfino.

"I'm not young enough to know everything." --Oscar Wilde

No, it's not your age that annoys people. Shame that you don't understand that.

HomerGator
05-31-2011, 01:51 PM
I can't believe this thread is still going.

Phantom Eagle
05-31-2011, 08:21 PM
http://dailyspeculations.com/Grand-dad.png

TIP
05-31-2011, 08:45 PM
http://dailyspeculations.com/Grand-dad.png

http://www.general-anaesthesia.com/images/ether.jpg

HeroBoy
06-01-2011, 04:39 AM
I can't believe this thread is still going.

Does this mean Udiguhgudibuh is the boards version of Alan Alda?

Udiguhgudibuh
06-01-2011, 09:09 AM
Udiguhgudibuh, I love having you around. I get a kick out of your posts. Just wanted to say that.

Thank you. It's reassuring to discover a man with such lofty standards intact, in this sad little world of ever-diminishing critical capacity and generally pathetic penmanship. Booyah!

Taxman
06-01-2011, 09:32 AM
I am curious as to who it is here that Ughabugha has mentored.

Let them stand up and be counted!

HomerGator
06-01-2011, 09:36 AM
Thank you. It's reassuring to discover a man with such lofty standards in tact, in this sad little world of ever-diminishing critical capacity and generally pathetic penmanship. Booyah!

Booyah?

Waitaminute..... is this Stuart Scott? It is, isn't it? Stuart, you crazy lazy eyed bastard, how are you!?

Udiguhgudibuh
06-01-2011, 04:46 PM
Booyah?

Waitaminute..... is this Stuart Scott? It is, isn't it? Stuart, you crazy lazy eyed bastard, how are you!?

:sherlock: Please try to be discrete about our little secret. In the future, your use of the preferred "wonky-eyed personage of uncertain parentage" will be appreciated.

Briomega
06-01-2011, 05:01 PM
Booyah?

Waitaminute..... is this Stuart Scott? It is, isn't it? Stuart, you crazy lazy eyed bastard, how are you!?

Battling cancer.

Benel Germosen
06-01-2011, 05:05 PM
The great part about having Udig on ignore is just reading your responses and imagining what crazy shit he's saying without having to actually read what crazy shit he's saying.

Udiguhgudibuh
06-03-2011, 10:25 AM
:boohoo: But seriously, folks, the world as we knew it is gone. Politicians and the media would never admit it because it's very bad for ratings and vote getting.

The writing is on the wall. I understand why it's fun to pretend, Pollyannas, but preparing for the worst is your best move-- if you can! In retrospect, everybody pretends to be caught by surprise: "I just didn't see it coming! Wow!

:bored: Desperate to put a positive spin on the economy, politicians and the media can't because there isn't one! Google and the Internet in general are great at "de-contextualizing" history-- and current events.

:dunno: Ignoring the obvious cannot wish it away. Bon voyage, fellow voyagers on the Titanic. Time for survival mode.

AlienKeyes
06-03-2011, 11:06 AM
:boohoo: But seriously, folks, the world as we knew it is gone. Politicians and the media would never admit it because it's very bad for ratings and vote getting.

The writing is on the wall. I understand why it's fun to pretend, Pollyannas, but preparing for the worst is your best move-- if you can! In retrospect, everybody pretends to be caught by surprise: "I just didn't see it coming! Wow!

:bored: Desperate to put a positive spin on the economy, politicians and the media can't because there isn't one! Google and the Internet in general are great at "de-contextualizing" history-- and current events.

:dunno: Ignoring the obvious cannot wish it away. Bon voyage, fellow voyagers on the Titanic. Time for survival mode.

Oh my god you just changed my life.

thatguyfromsyracuse
06-03-2011, 11:23 AM
My eyes are opened! Just like when that one guy told us we should watch the movie Shooter! Changed my life.

Artie Pink
06-03-2011, 12:28 PM
:boohoo: But seriously, folks, the world as we knew it is gone. Politicians and the media would never admit it because it's very bad for ratings and vote getting.

The writing is on the wall. I understand why it's fun to pretend, Pollyannas, but preparing for the worst is your best move-- if you can! In retrospect, everybody pretends to be caught by surprise: "I just didn't see it coming! Wow!

:bored: Desperate to put a positive spin on the economy, politicians and the media can't because there isn't one! Google and the Internet in general are great at "de-contextualizing" history-- and current events.

:dunno: Ignoring the obvious cannot wish it away. Bon voyage, fellow voyagers on the Titanic. Time for survival mode.


Sounds like a good excuse to PARTY!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/pppzone/Gifs%20And%20Smileys/bf34d95e.gif

Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it, anyway you wannnnt it...

Udiguhgudibuh
06-03-2011, 01:26 PM
Sounds like a good excuse to PARTY!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/pppzone/Gifs%20And%20Smileys/bf34d95e.gif Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it, anyway you wannnnt it...

:bored: Yeah! A theme party: Yabba-Dabba-Doom!
Thank you for not blaming the humble messenger-- me. A case can be made for Goldman Sachs providing the tipping point.

HeroBoy
06-03-2011, 06:00 PM
We should be preparing for the worst, right? Does this mean Dinosaurs are going to come back and make slaves of the human race?

That's the worst, right? Because, certainly, a fluctuating economy that may take decades to actually collapse a country, but most likely will not collapse it, can not be "the worst"

The Robot Lord of Tokyo
06-03-2011, 06:33 PM
If the world turns into the world of Fallout due to our country's financial ruin, then I'm all for it. I will open as many credit cards as I can with high APR's as well as buy as many houses as I can and foreclose on them. Fuck this world.
I want to get a Stealth Boy and open fire on some mutants.

End of the world? I say nay to thee! The world is going to get fucking awesome.

Forrest
06-03-2011, 08:09 PM
I starting writing a thoughtful response to topics brought up in this thread. ...then, I decided I'd be better off going in my room and masturbating.

Briomega
06-03-2011, 08:27 PM
"God" has come to "d"amn us "a"ll to a fie"r"y pit of "d"oom.

Udiguhgudibuh
06-05-2011, 11:34 AM
:shifty: "Signs and wonders." --No Country for Old Men

While only the three witches in Macbeth can "look into the seeds of time, and tell which will grow and which will not," things are looking BAD now that we live in the United States of China.

Oops-- time to play Father. More sobering news later.

Udiguhgudibuh
06-05-2011, 02:24 PM
Bad news, continued...

:cool: The good news about being owned by China is that we are "too big to fail." How's that? When borrowing, the operative maxim is, "When you owe someone a thousand dollars, they own you. When you owe them $1 million, you own them (i.e., the borrower can't afford to let YOU fail)." That's the oddly good side of owing trillions of dollars to China. They have to hope the US succeeds.

Dangerous days like these require that you (1) cut expenses below the bone, (2) do everything possible to maintain "wellness"-- good diet, no fast food, and (3) minimal driving ("bundling" necessary errands).

A wise friend once said that when you are old, you need three things: money, friends, and family. Start thinking of yourself as "old" now! Separate your "wants" from "needs."

If we sink into depression/recession (which I'm afraid we certainly will), downsizing is all. A post-WW2 "boomer," I understand the "Great Depression" only from my parents generation saying, "There simply was no money." People worked hard to earn 15 cents a day-- and survived on it! (I don't know what that would be when adjusted for inflation, but I'd be surprised if it's more than a single trip to Starbucks.)

The first sectors to go will be those with the fewest lobbyists-- currently spending $2,258 per congressman per day congress is in session.

Public service cutbacks are already costing lives. Last week, a crowd of people watched a California man drown in the ocean-- for a full hour! Yes, they called 911. A single rescue squad arrived, but financial cutbacks didn't allow them to attempt offshore rescue. The single helicopter authorized for water rescue was elsewhere. (A brave spectator swam to shore with the dead body.)

:shifty: The assumption of general moral trust eroded beginning with Reagan deregulation, and got a big push from pre-Obama administrations. Goldman Sachs (and many others) robbed the US public naked-- and got away with it. The inside joke was, 'I.B.G, Y,B,G." Translation? By the time anybody figures out our theft, "I'll be gone; You'll be gone."

No more "Mr. Nice Guy." That's simply over. The good times are all gone; bad times comin' on.

;-) "Unthinkable"? That word is gone.

Briomega
06-05-2011, 02:28 PM
"Quote" "Emoticon" "Bold Type"

Phantom Eagle
06-05-2011, 04:12 PM
http://fermentation.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/27/tinfoil.jpg

http://fearlessblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/soapbox.jpg

http://www.girr.org/girr/girr/000822_tin_shack.jpg

Phantom Eagle
06-07-2011, 09:31 PM
http://www.ambiz.net/images/hillbilly%20pix/hbrv.jpg

Mattman
06-07-2011, 09:49 PM
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f332/bobrosswasright/lost_boys_sax.jpg

Caley Tibbittz
06-08-2011, 10:14 AM
I starting writing a thoughtful response to topics brought up in this thread. ...then, I decided I'd be better off going in my room and masturbating.
To comics?

Taxman
06-08-2011, 10:19 AM
I am curious as to who it is here that Ughabugha has mentored.

Let them stand up and be counted!No takers, eh?

That's what I figured.

Udiguhgudibuh
06-10-2011, 04:08 PM
No takers, eh?
That's what I figured.

:dunno: I suggest you're asking the wrong crowd. Try a fitness-related thread. This site is, however, a generally thankless group of miscreants. I know. Sad.

The Robot Lord of Tokyo
06-10-2011, 04:43 PM
:dunno: I suggest you're asking the wrong crowd. Try a fitness-related thread. This site is, however, a generally thankless group of miscreants. I know. Sad.

No. I'm THANKFUL that I am a miscreant. That way when the world does end I'll be able to thrive due to my less-then- scrupulous attitude. All the other rubes will be easy pickings for me.
Suck it, Mad Max!

Briomega
06-10-2011, 05:00 PM
:dunno: I suggest you're asking the wrong crowd. Try a fitness-related thread. This site is, however, a generally thankless group of miscreants. I know. Sad.

Are we supposed to be thanking you for your nonsensical threads and general air of self-righteousness?


Well thanks so much.

R0cketFr0g
06-10-2011, 05:32 PM
It is coming.

Shhhhhh it's around the corner.

Len Snark
06-13-2011, 08:34 PM
:dunno: I suggest you're asking the wrong crowd. Try a fitness-related thread. This site is, however, a generally thankless group of miscreants. I know. Sad.

I'm with you, boogie. You're not my mentor, but I think you contribute a lot. It's a lot of crazy at times, but always entertaining.