The Official Wrestling Thread is the Longest Running Episodic Thread Of All Time!

[Foolish Mortal]

Shows like Tough Enough are useless. They don't actually seek out a 'superstar', they just want drama and hijinks.

[Lab-Rat]

Boo...I don't like the fact that the trainers come out to Booker's music.

[Lab-Rat]

Hahaha....I like how the crowd boo'd the eliminated contestants.

[Masculine Todd]

You know who really got over on Tough Enough? Hugh Morris and Austin.

[Drew]

I got overexcited.

We asked you nicely, we asked you in our most all caps jerk way. You've got to stop. You're not gonna be on it live? It's not your privilege

[Lab-Rat]

I still think Martin should have won.

[Masculine Todd]

Ha! Jeremiah actually got over. And they cut him.

[Lab-Rat]

Man...Andy looked goofy doing that strut down the walkway.

[Masculine Todd]

"Party boy." They really have no clue what's cool.

[Briomega]

If that fucking sissy wins ...

[Mark4myself]

Book doesn't really do anything on this show but occasionally pop up and make a few half-hearted "inspirational" comments.

Or the occasional grabbing of someone and saying "Do not mistake my kindness for weakness!!!"

And then back to nothing.

[Masculine Todd]

Andy's my age? Andy's 24? What am I doing with my life?

[Mark4myself]

Man...Andy looked goofy doing that strut down the walkway.

Yeah.....yeah he did....and did I miss the episodes where he was oozing Charisma??? I think he oozed all of it away as he doesnt' have any left.

[Lab-Rat]

Steve should announce the winner by stunning the loser....then congratulate the winner and stun him, too.

[Masculine Todd]

Austin should win Tough Enough, because, you know, he's entertaining and stuff.

[Briomega]

Andy's my age? Andy's 24? What am I doing with my life?

Definitely not fucking Cody. Get on that!!

[Mark4myself]

Andy's my age? Andy's 24? What am I doing with my life?

No worries Todd you have personality and charisma Andy will never have.

Plus you can always sleep your way to the top.....or bottom ;-) (your preference!) of WWE. Hmmmm who to start with??

[Briomega]

The final final?

[Mark4myself]

Austin should win Tough Enough, because, you know, he's entertaining and stuff.

Trish should win because I would sooooooo like to hit that from every conceivable angle. I'd even invent a few new ones just to tap those too.

[Briomega]

Come on, do the laugh.

[Mark4myself]

You kinda do Bill that's what he asked you to do....

[Masculine Todd]

Shows like Tough Enough are useless. They don't actually seek out a 'superstar', they just want drama and hijinks.

For the most part. WWE and USA's agenda's are at odds here. However, Maven (different circumstances, of course) actually got over and was an instant personality after Tough Enough. Unfortunately, he wasn't ring-ready and his success on the show couldn't be parlayed into a marketable character immediately. Pity.

A show like this could potentially make a guy, but the only participant who got over was Jeremiah and, you know, he's out.

[Mark4myself]

The hardest part for the contestants was that paying attention thing....grueling that is.

[Mark4myself]

Ohhhh....love hearing Trish say "wanted to slap the COCKiness out of your mouth"

I would so rebut with "Well I've been wanting to slap my cockiness IN YOUR mouth Trish"

[Briomega]

They better make his crybaby shit into an angle.

[Kirblar]

Yeah, Luke's past sunk him. :lol:

[Masculine Todd]

How many times have they called Luke a "pretty boy" and who producing this show wants his nuts?

[Lab-Rat]

Man even the crowd is against Luke.

[Masculine Todd]

Trish should win because I would sooooooo like to hit that from every conceivable angle. I'd even invent a few new ones just to tap those too.

Mark, will you take my geometry class for me this fall? y/n/m

[Masculine Todd]

Andy: "Collegiate wrest-el-rrs."

Snap.

[Briomega]

What's with the music? Is this a horror movie?

[Mark4myself]

Yeah, Luke's past sunk him. :lol:

Wait??? What was his past? Did I miss something?

[Kirblar]

Andy: "Collegiate wrest-el-rrs."

Snap.
He's terrible, but he's the only option left. :lol:

[Masculine Todd]

Why does Cena still salute? He hasn't had the pseudo-military gimmick for years. It's like he's an amalgam of everything American and likable and honorable. They should should vignettes where Cena just holds doors open for people and high fives make-a-wish kids.

[Mark4myself]

Mark, will you take my geometry class for me this fall? y/n/m

http://www.accelerator3359.com/Wrestling/pictures/ryder.jpg

[Kirblar]

Wait??? What was his past? Did I miss something?
Gay erotic wrestling videos. Luke doesn't really have what we call "foresight".

[Kirblar]

Why does Cena still salute? He hasn't had the pseudo-military gimmick for years. It's like he's an amalgam of everything American and likable and honorable. They should should vignettes where Cena just holds doors open for people and high fives make-a-wish kids.
Because he's the ultimate yes-man.

[Masculine Todd]

He's terrible, but he's the only option left. :lol:

He has the size and was in FCW under a developmental deal prior to this anyway. He was probably going to win regardless.

They'd be fools not to lock down Jeremiah. That dude has it.

[Foolish Mortal]

Oh Boy...

[Masculine Todd]

Gay erotic wrestling videos. Luke doesn't really have what we call "foresight".

Jesus, really? What a 'tard.

[Lab-Rat]

He has the size and was in FCW under a developmental deal prior to this anyway. He was probably going to win regardless.

They'd be fools not to lock down Jeremiah. That dude has it.

Jeremiah and Martin I foresee getting into the WWE eventaully.

[DAVE]

Is Vince wearing a zoot suit?

[Lab-Rat]

Man that crowd hates Luke.

[Masculine Todd]

Luke speaks in nothing but clichéd platitudes.

[Kirblar]

Man that crowd hates Luke.
He's pretty much the aborted spawn of Riley and Miz.

[Mark4myself]

Those pants are hiked up kinda high Vince....my Grandfather wears his pants lower than that for crying out loud.

[Foolish Mortal]

Man that crowd hates Luke.
He has "Backstabby Heel" written all over him.

[Mark4myself]

He has "Backstabby Heel" written all over him.

Knowing what I know about him now....backstabby has all new connotations.

[Masculine Todd]

Luke's very likeable when he's on a boat with a bunch of girls he claims are childhood friends but one of them I recognize as an FCW trainee shouting "we party like redneck rockstars and I ain't ever gonna quit!"

[UltimateFactor]

wow, really? :lol:

[Kirblar]

wow, really? :lol:
Again, once it came down to those two, I don't think they had a choice.

[Mark4myself]

That was the most choreographed stunner I've seen.

[Mark4myself]

The judges all basically picked Andy its not like Stone Cold could then pick someone completely different could he?

[Greenville 90210]

Wait, so the respective matches with Hugh Morris are relegated to montages set to the theme? Gah!

They worked pretty much the same match and I'm sure there's a lot of botches in both.

[Roger]

WWE Hall of Famers Roddy Piper and Terry Funk will be wrestling each other in singles action for only the second time at Juggalo Championship Wrestling and the Insane Clown Posse's Gathering of the Juggalos 2011 in mid-August from Cave-in-Rock, Illinois. Other names advertised include Chyna, Sean Waltman, Jerry Lawler, Sunny, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Mick Foley, Scott Hall, Booker T, Raven, Viscera, Koko B. Ware, The Honky Tonk Man and others.

[Gryphon]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K-_Uou1M1g

[Kirblar]

Do not want.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Juggalos and Youtube reviews?

LOL LIFE

[Gryphon]

Just trying to help a friend out by spreading his reviews.

[Masculine Todd]

Gryphon, why did you spam both threads with a video no one wants to see, especially after doing so last week was met with such derision? That's D- boarding at best, son. You're not going hard at all.

[Gryphon]

Steve Austin posted this on twitter

@steveaustinBSR

"Had a chat with the one and only @ZackRyder last night...what a broski...a damn good kid with a bright future...woo woo woo..."

[Gryphon]

Gryphon, why did you spam both threads with a video no one wants to see, especially after doing so last week was met with such derision? That's D- boarding at best, son. You're not going hard at all.

Becasue my friend called in a favour after helping me out over the last year.

[Masculine Todd]

Someone make me a mod.

[Brad N.]

Becasue my friend called in a favour after helping me out over the last year.

And the favor he asked of you was to pimp his shitty reviews no one would care to see on a comic book messageboard? I know people give you a lot of shit here for a lot of the frankly weird things you say and do, but this is even beneath your usual low standards.

[Gryphon]

And the favor he asked of you was to pimp his shitty reviews no one would care to see on a comic book messageboard? I know people give you a lot of shit here for a lot of the frankly weird things you say and do, but this is even beneath your usual low standards.

Ill stop posting them.

[Gryphon]

edit.

[Roger]

yeah, that review is no where as good as my podcast over at www.rogerpriebe.com

:)

[Greenville 90210]

Gryphon has replaced Roger as the guy everyone unfairly piles on in this thread.

[Greenville 90210]

Wrestling & Twitter thoughts:

Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan have been feuding on Twitter for the past week. It's more pathetic than their WCW feud.

I'm actually very surprised Cole (WWE) mentioned Ziggler's twitter handle since it's "HEELZiggler"

I'm very close to unfollowing Zack Ryder. All he does is pimp his show- which I subscribed to months ago. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz

Jay Briscoe is my new favorite wrestler to follow on Twitter.

Follow me on Twitter! @MrScotlandGreen!

[Roger]

Gryphon has replaced Roger as the guy everyone unfairly piles on in this thread.

yay!!!!

although to be fair, i played along with it and really forced the issue and played the heel just to argue for the fun of it.

[Greenville 90210]

yay!!!!

although to be fair, i played along with it and really forced the issue and played the heel just to argue for the fun of it.

Maybe Gryphon could do your podcast with you...or maybe Gryphon's friend?!?

[Masculine Todd]

"Played the heel."

You talk like that?!

[Masculine Todd]

roger,

[Roger]

Maybe Gryphon could do your podcast with you...or maybe Gryphon's friend?!?

a canadian?
what do i want to do? talk about brett hart all night???
come on now....meet me half way....

[Adrian B AWESOME]

roger,

+1

[Roger]

"Played the heel."

You talk like that?!

yeah, i do use wrestling terms all the time.

like when i telling something really truthfull, i'll say "this is a total shoot" meaning what i'm going to say next is 100% true.

[Masculine Todd]

When I was 12, I told my best friend I was turning heel on him when I said I didn't burn some cd he wanted. He punched me in the arm. He was right to do so.

[Roger]

ok, now this is a total shoot...todd wants to spoon with cody rhodes.

[Greenville 90210]

yeah, i do use wrestling terms all the time.

like when i telling something really truthfull, i'll say "this is a total shoot" meaning what i'm going to say next is 100% true.

I use wrestling terms when talking about other local comedians I have to deal with. Jobber, putting himself over, and heel are used a lot.

[Masculine Todd]

ok, now this is a total shoot...todd wants to frot with cody rhodes.

fixed for accuracy.

[Gryphon]

a canadian?
what do i want to do? talk about brett hart all night???
come on now....meet me half way....

I can also tlak about edge, christian, trish, natalya, dh smith, tyson kidd, abdullah the butcher, roddy piper..........

[Roger]

fixed for accuracy.

don't know that term....and i'm scared to google it...lol

[Roger]

I can also tlak about edge, christian, trish, natalya, dh smith, tyson kidd, abdullah the butcher, roddy piper..........

lol

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Define frot

[Masculine Todd]

For Adrian

Frot is a slang term derived from frottage (ult. from the French verb frotter, "to rub") describing a form of non-penetrative male/male sex that usually but not always involves direct penis-to-penis contact.

The term "frot" was originally popularized by gay male activists who disparaged the practice of anal sex. The term evolved to encompass a variety of preferences for the act, which may or may not imply particular attitudes towards other sexual activities.

Owing to its non-penetrative character, frot has the safe sex advantage of minimizing the transmission risk for HIV/AIDS,[1] and may also help to lower the risk of certain other sexually transmitted infections, without the inconvenience of purchasing condoms and condom-safe lubricants.

You rub the penises together. Thank you Adrian for being so progressive and taking an active interest in this. If only WWE cared about these activities.

[Drew]

Gryphon has replaced Roger as the guy everyone unfairly piles on in this thread.

Who is this Roger?

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

Doing Great

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTNN-lv9D_I&feature=player_embedded&has_verified=1

[Masculine Todd]

See, like, that's what all the meth users/dealers do everyday in the orbiting towns around us. Jeff Hardy's just keeping it real, you know? Not letting celebrity/money change him.

[Damian696]

remember when we talked about WWE needing a guy who could elevate somebody to main event status ? well, here he is - Booker T.

and he sets up Swagger vs. Bourne. :mad:

and probably another run as tag champ. :D

[Masculine Todd]

Har! Booker's like one of three guys currently over! See you next week at the desk!

[Gryphon]

remember when we talked about WWE needing a guy who could elevate somebody to main event status ? well, here he is - Booker T.

and he sets up Swagger vs. Bourne. :mad:

and probably another run as tag champ. :D

I like swagger vs bourne.

[Damian696]

I like swagger vs bourne.

I don't have a problem with Bourne/Swagger, but when Booker gets back into action, he shoiuld prep Ziggler or Del Rio for a main event run.

[Gryphon]

I actually am surprised that they seem to be continuing the swagger/bourne feud.

[Briomega]

I don't care if he's getting paid to do it. SCSA should never say broski or woo woo woo. Ever.

[Kirblar]

The problem with Bourne/Swagger is that it's circular booking, and no one gets over.

[Gryphon]

The problem with Bourne/Swagger is that it's circular booking, and no one gets over.

Its a midcard feud. There are so few of those getting airtime.

[Gryphon]

I read that this is going to be the slow start of a push for zack ryder, due both to his new internet fame from his show ( whichw we promoted heavily on raw) and also due to Cena and Miz.

[Briomega]

I read thta this is going to be the slow start of a push for zack ryder, due both to his new internet fame form his show ( whichw we promoted heavily on raw) and also due to Cena and Miz.

I don't see a link to wrestlerxtremenewzofawesomesauce.net

[Daniel K.]

I don't care if he's getting paid to do it. SCSA should never say broski or woo woo woo. Ever.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Aknd-BhQvI

[Briomega]

YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Aknd-BhQvI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Aknd-BhQvI)

You've raped Todd's childhood.

[Mark4myself]

I don't see a link to wrestlerxtremenewzofawesomesauce.net

No but if you peruse my posts in this thread I linked to an article detailing it from the almost always reliable nodq.com ;-)

That was like 3 weeks ago though!!! That's how good I am at breaking news. By the time you all catch up to me you forgot I even mentioned it in the first place. Same thing happened when I linked to who the HOF inductees were going to be a month before they were fully announced. No one noticed. I wept into a pillow. :-(

[Briomega]

No but if you peruse my posts in this thread I linked to an article detailing it from the almost always reliable nodq.com ;-)

That was like 3 weeks ago though!!! That's how good I am at breaking news. By the time you all catch up to me you forgot I even mentioned it in the first place. Same thing happened when I linked to who the HOF inductees were going to be a month before they were fully announced. No one noticed. I wept into a pillow. :-(

You should start the Raw thread on Sunday. Then people will know you.

[Mark4myself]

You should start the Raw thread on Sunday. Then people will know you.

Fuck you!!!!


I'm going to start it NOW!!!

Raw is all about me damnit! Thread

[iGotKittyPryde]

You've raped Todd's childhood.

Look at what he's was wearing! A slightly smaller sweatervest? His childhood was clearly asking for it.

[Bervda]

Fuck you!!!!


I'm going to start it NOW!!!

Raw is all about me damnit! Thread

That's actually a funny idea.

[Briomega]

Raw Raped Todd's Childhood would also be acceptable.


I just like raping Todd's childhood.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Raw raped Todd (or Todd's childhood) cuz Stone Cold said so!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Raw to rape gay college asshole, GLAAD upset

www.wrestlerxtremenewzofawesomesauce.net/fuckyoutodd

[Briomega]

:lol:

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Clarification: The WWE reiterated its statement to rape a gay college student. Confusion arose because of the word "asshole."

"Oh, it's just one dick named Todd. A Canadian desecrating this great land of the US by attending college here. We'll definitely rape him in the asshole, but it was more of a statement that he is an asshole, more than anything else."

Fan response seems to be positive. A fan, Drew, stated "Looks like someone's been getting my letters." And Todd's own father was asked how he felt about it. His one-word response: "Who?"

[Masculine Todd]

The last page, in one post:

Todd rape, dancing Austin, ban Gryphon, Jeff Hardy's just living his life, guys!

But seriously, don't rape me, guys.

[Masculine Todd]

And Todd's own father was asked how he felt about it. His one-word response: "Who?"

I just...you know, I just knew he'd acknowledge me someday. Tears streaking my eye-shadow, lipstick disheveled. "Baby pretty now, Daddy?! Don't have to keep me a secret to yourself no more!"

[Adrian B AWESOME]

The last page, in one post:

Todd rape, dancing Austin, ban Gryphon, Jeff Hardy's just living his life, guys!

But seriously, don't rape me, guys.

Or, as Zack Ryder would say:

"Don't rape me, bro!"

[Adrian B AWESOME]

I just...you know, I just knew he'd acknowledge me someday. Tears streaking my eye-shadow, lipstick disheveled. "Baby pretty now, Daddy?! Don't have to keep me a secret to yourself no more!"

:lol:!!!! "Baby pretty now" is a guaranteed way to get me to laugh.

[Masculine Todd]

Do we really need to lay ground rules on not raping the obligatory fag? Like, c'mon. I thought we'd be able to get through this without my rape, and now here we are: me in the corner, scouring the floor for my panties and mumbling something about how it was my fault - you guys whispering in each other's ears about how I totally begged for it as you wipe pieces of what I ate last night from your dicks.

[Masculine Todd]

:lol:!!!! "Baby pretty now" is a guaranteed way to get me to laugh.

Maria Bamford's like the only chick I'd probably want to bang.

[Daniel K.]

I just...you know, I just knew he'd acknowledge me someday. Tears streaking my eye-shadow, lipstick disheveled. "Baby pretty now, Daddy?! Don't have to keep me a secret to yourself no more!"

+1 for Maria Bamford refrence.

Also, we're not going to rape you but I can't say the same for meth crazed Jeff Hardy.

[Briomega]

I have tears on my cheeks. :lol:

[Masculine Todd]

I could totally see Jeff Hardy forcibly fondling me while having a good buzz going. He doesn't seem like a closer though. I can't imagine him committing to the rape. Like, he'd just kinda hold me down for a minute, try to make it in for a pump and miss completely, vomit and pass out.

[Foolish Mortal]

You people are sick. :no:





:rofl:

[Adrian B AWESOME]

I could totally see Jeff Hardy forcibly fondling me while having a good buzz going. He doesn't seem like a closer though. I can't imagine him committing to the rape. Like, he'd just kinda hold me down for a minute, try to make it in for a pump and miss completely, vomit and pass out.

That's when Matt comes in, literally. Duh.

[Kirblar]

I pray Treacle doesn't see this thread. :lol:

[Masculine Todd]

Serious Todd: I don't mean to trivialize sexual assault at all. I apologize if I have.

[Masculine Todd]

But Matt Hardy's probably a rapist. Report that, Wrestling Observer!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Serious Todd: I don't mean to trivialize sexual assault at all. I apologize if I have.

I hate Serious Todd.

[joeAR]

Hey i'm late to the raping Todd's childhood. Can I get in on that?

[Adrian B AWESOME]

My final two statements about this:

1) It's not trivializing it, because Todd obviously wants it. Why else would he dress that way?

2) Let's not act like Todd's a person. It demeans all of us.

[Masculine Todd]

I hate Serious Todd.

But he's so opinionated and so much to say about things that matter!

[Masculine Todd]

2) Let's not act like Todd's a person. It demeans all of us.

Sometimes I eat people food though, and I say things and people will smile at me and nod, like they really respect me. But then they just walk away.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Serious Adrian: I love Todd and wish him and all other gay people no harm.

I hate Serious Adrian.

[Masculine Todd]

Perhaps this world just wasn't made for someone as precious as me.

[Briomega]

Sometimes I eat people food though, and I say things and people will smile at me and nod, like they really respect me. But then they just walk away.

They walk away because they see the real Todd behind the mask. And the tears. Always the tears.

[Masculine Todd]

Like, when Adrian's sincere about topical stuff, it makes me uncomfortable and I hope he'll call me a homo or make a acerbic comment quickly before I get any more awkward.

Serious Adrian is such a homo.

[Masculine Todd]

What do you think Drew will make of this last page?

[Briomega]

What do you think Drew will make of this last page?

Where's that south park jizz photo.

[Ryan_ZOOM_Turner]

Raw to rape gay college asshole, GLAAD upset

www.wrestlerxtremenewzofawesomesauce.net/fuckyoutodd

:rofl:
You guys have been awesome these past few pages

[Ryan_ZOOM_Turner]

clarification: The wwe reiterated its statement to rape a gay college student. Confusion arose because of the word "asshole."

"oh, it's just one dick named todd. A canadian desecrating this great land of the us by attending college here. We'll definitely rape him in the asshole, but it was more of a statement that he is an asshole, more than anything else."

fan response seems to be positive. A fan, drew, stated "looks like someone's been getting my letters." and todd's own father was asked how he felt about it. His one-word response: "who?"

:lol:

[Bervda]

This thread is full of victory today.

[Drew]

What do you think Drew will make of this last page?

I'm baffled?

For one, why would I write a letter to the WWE? For two, this is the sort of thing Serious Drew would be peevish toward.

[Drew]

And I am not right now.

[Zack_Hunter]

God I love this thread.

[Brad N.]

Jesus. I go away for a while today and the funniest shit ever happens. I am disturbing my wife with my laughter. I sure hope Mylazycat doesn't come in and ruin it by saying it's an embarrassment to the board.

[Bervda]

I sure hope Mylazycat doesn't come in and ruin it by saying it's an embarrassment to the board.

Nay, the internet!

[moonspider]

y'know what this thread needs:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NgVflm5M0NE/0.jpg

[moonspider]

IT'S THE YEH-TAY!!!!!!!!!!
http://iwantwrestling.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/yeti1-300x219.jpg

[moonspider]

CharmCityShoots guy seems to have uploaded a huuuuuge chunk of shoots vids on his youtube account....

[Brad N.]

Has anyone seen the Jeff Hardy near porn tape from many many years ago? I have no idea what it was called and it was something one of my wrestling buddies back in the day had me watch it and said he got it from another worker but years later another guy outside the business I knew had a copy but I have never seen it since. I want to say I watched it sometime in 2000 maybe? Todd, you made me think of it with your Jeff Hardy talk earlier. All I can recall was the video was really bad and the music was IIRC this shitty porn like synth shit that I think Jeff made on his Casio. It had clips of Jeff sunbathing nude and painting pictures and all kinds of fun little factoids. I was partying a lot back then but I don't think I made seeing that video up.

[SteveFlack]

Has anyone seen the Jeff Hardy near porn tape from many many years ago? I have no idea what it was called and it was something one of my wrestling buddies back in the day had me watch it and said he got it from another worker but years later another guy outside the business I knew had a copy but I have never seen it since. I want to say I watched it sometime in 2000 maybe? Todd, you made me think of it with your Jeff Hardy talk earlier. All I can recall was the video was really bad and the music was IIRC this shitty porn like synth shit that I think Jeff made on his Casio. It had clips of Jeff sunbathing nude and painting pictures and all kinds of fun little factoids. I was partying a lot back then but I don't think I made seeing that video up.

:scared:

[Masculine Todd]

Shitty keyboard montage of Jeff Hardy painting? Shitty keyboard montage of Jeff Hardy sunbathing? He can't even make a sex tape right. And that's who we think is gonna rape someone to completion?!

I bet Matt would make a significantly crappier painting right after Jeff and run at the camera going "see, I was going for this whole different vibe."

[Alex]

How about a wrestler whose gimmick is similiar to deadpool in that he/she breaks the fourth wall all the time.

http://i680.photobucket.com/albums/vv165/Maryse-Lover/DX24.jpg
Why was SCSA so effective as the top star? Even though he was a badass, he still managed to be VULNERABLE. Between McMahon/Undertaker/Rock/HHH/Kane/HBK/Hart, Austin faced actual adversity and adversaries who got the upper hand on him, both out of AND in-ring. Cena? Cena takes a twenty minute beating and wins it in two.

Austin was almost always booked strong. Wasn't there a Royal Rumble where there were like fifteen people in the ring, when the glass shattered EVERYONE stopped and waited for him to get in? And then he not only survived but won?

I think Austin was booked a lot stronger than people seem to remember, and while John Cena is booked to win he'll at least spend a good chunk of the match letting the other guy kick his ass.

Plus, imagine if Stone Cold had been put in the Nexus angle instead of John Cena. In the first place, I don't think he would have allowed the initial rookie beatdown, or at the very least would have demanded he Stun at least half the crew. Cena barely got a hit on on any of them, which was necessary to establishing them as the dominant crew. Also, when Cena was forced to join Nexus or be fired... Austin would never ever have either scenario thrust upon him. (Perhaps a poor choice of words.)


As long as Smackdown! is recorded three days in advance of its airing, the show will always do lesser ratings to RAW. There are people who watch RAW every week, who would never do so if they got spoilers a few days before the show aired. Make Smackdown! live every week and the ratings will go up.

That, plus SD is on Fridays. By competing with, y'know, actually going out and having a social life TV shows almost never do well on that slot.
Has anyone seen the Jeff Hardy near porn tape from many many years ago? I have no idea what it was called and it was something one of my wrestling buddies back in the day had me watch it and said he got it from another worker but years later another guy outside the business I knew had a copy but I have never seen it since. I want to say I watched it sometime in 2000 maybe? Todd, you made me think of it with your Jeff Hardy talk earlier. All I can recall was the video was really bad and the music was IIRC this shitty porn like synth shit that I think Jeff made on his Casio. It had clips of Jeff sunbathing nude and painting pictures and all kinds of fun little factoids. I was partying a lot back then but I don't think I made seeing that video up.

Wha...?

[Alex]

Shitty keyboard montage of Jeff Hardy painting? Shitty keyboard montage of Jeff Hardy sunbathing? He can't even make a sex tape right. And that's who we think is gonna rape someone to completion?!

No, no, it's all artistic and classy. Well, I suppose it depends on what he painted and where. :scared:

[Masculine Todd]

Remember when Matt was rehired after the Lita/Edge ordeal and the fans were completely behind him, only for that same audience to quickly become torn, confused and nauseated when Matt would rant on live television about how Lita was just a "stupid, whorey, slut" who didn't deserve him in the first place? Never before has a jilted, righteous cuckold so effectively made themselves entirely unsympathetic.

It's common to hear pundits describe the Hardys as having "self-destructive tendencies." I suppose that's true, but it doesn't address the root of their issues; that being the unfortunate fact that they're just really, really stupid and lack any semblance of self-awareness. Like, they're just two dumb guys who happened to connect with fans. You can be all "they're slaves to some unconscious drive for self-ruination" or any other preposterous rhetoric, but being dumb explains nude video painting.

[J Money]

Stone Cold was on an episode of the Bernie Mac show. Did you know that?

[Briomega]

Remember when Matt was rehired after the Lita/Edge ordeal and the fans were completely behind him, only for that same audience to quickly become torn, confused and nauseated when Matt would rant on live television about how Lita was just a "stupid, whorey, slut" who didn't deserve him in the first place? Never before has a jilted, righteous cuckold so effectively made themselves entirely unsympathetic.

It's common to hear pundits describe the Hardys as having "self-destructive tendencies." I suppose that's true, but it doesn't address the root of their issues; that being the unfortunate fact that they're just really, really stupid and lack any semblance of self-awareness. Like, they're just two dumb guys who happened to connect with fans. You can be all "they're slaves to some unconscious drive for self-ruination" or any other preposterous rhetoric, but being dumb explains nude video painting.

Remember when Roseanne won the lottery? Yeah, that's the Hardys.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Remember when Roseanne won the lottery? Yeah, that's the Hardys.

What? The entire last season was a dream after Dan died?

SPOILERS FOR A 14 YEAR-OLD SITCOM FINALE!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Remember when Dan died and Jeff Hardy took it really hard(y)?

[Masculine Todd]

Did he paint a portrait of Jon Goodman naked?

[Masculine Todd]

Gryphon-esque retarded booking proposal: Jeff should incorporate the nude painting into his gimmick.

[Briomega]

Did he paint a portrait of Jon Goodman naked?

Yes but he used Goodman's sweat as his medium.

[Briomega]

Gryphon-esque retarded booking proposal: Jeff should incorporate the nude painting into his gimmick.

What if Jeff Hardy was rehired by WWE? Would Zack Ryder get a push?

[Adrian B AWESOME]

What if Jeff Hardy was rehired by WWE? Would Zack Ryder get a push?

God I love this thread. And I've only been here 4 months! Amazing.

[SteveFlack]

What? The entire last season was a dream after Dan died?

SPOILERS FOR A 14 YEAR-OLD SITCOM FINALE!

No, no, no- the entire show was a dream!


Most surreal of all is the season's final episode, in which Roseanne reveals that the show is actually a story written by Roseanne Conner about her life. To cope with life, Roseanne twisted major elements of her life for the story, which the audience doesn't find out until the final moments of the series. In reality, Dan's heart attack was fatal and the Conner family didn't win the lottery. She also mentions that in real life her sister is a lesbian and her mom is actually not homosexual.[14] Another notable difference is David being married to Becky rather than Darlene, and Mark being married to Darlene, rather than Becky.

[Briomega]

No, no, no- the entire show was a dream!



They should have made Darlene adopted so she could marry Jackie.

[Masculine Todd]

Yes but he used Goodman's sweat as his medium.

See this post right here is boarding hard.


What if Jeff Hardy was rehired by WWE? Would Zack Ryder get a push?

Yes! The two would feud in the newly reinstated Cruiserweight Division!

[SteveFlack]

Hey wasn't Roseanne great? Any favorite episodes?

[Masculine Todd]

It's funny because Rosanne's a fatty.

[Masculine Todd]

Remember when Rosanne had on "a riot grrl?"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeTjUhAxabM

[Briomega]

Hey I heard a rumor that Kofi was going to break Takers streak at WM. It was on social media.

[Masculine Todd]

Before or after he wins the inaugural Cruiserweight Title tournament?

I think Kofi should be made an honorary third member of a reunited APA, thus giving them someone to induct them as a unit at next year's 'Mania.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

No, no, no- the entire show was a dream!

Yeah, Jeffy Hardy!

[Briomega]

I read on a website I've never been to that Jeff Hardy is coming back to WWE as a masked wrestler: The Tweaker.

[Drew]

This thread has gone full Drunk Girl.

[Greenville 90210]

I agree with all of this!

[Greenville 90210]

Gryphon-esque retarded booking proposal: Jeff should incorporate the nude painting into his gimmick.

Do you think the Hardys should go in the hall of fame separately or together?

I think they should go in together.

[Daniel K.]

Do you think the Hardys should go in the hall of fame separately or together?

I think they should go in together.

I think they should go in together with Gangrel. He really jumpstarted their career with The New Brood.

[Alex]

Do you think the Hardys should go in the hall of fame separately or together?

I think they should go in together.

Jeff headlines, Matt goes in a different year where Edge headlines.

[Albert]

Remember when Rosanne had on "a riot grrl?"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeTjUhAxabM

Jenna Elfman was definitely the right choice for that role.

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

saea chalke is hot

[joeAR]

This thread....this thread is amazing

[Bervda]

this thread....this thread is amazing

on a goddamn roll.

[Roger]

what the hell happened to the wrestling thread since yesterday?

[joeAR]

Oh Roger, you're not the only one who uses wrestling terms in real life. I say "they should push him/her" all of the time.

[Greenville 90210]

Dusty finish!

[Drew]

Potato! Gaga Potato! The shits!

[Drew]

Run-in!

[Masculine Todd]

Minus 5-Stars!

[Lab-Rat]

I have no idea what's going on in this thread....but I like it.

[Drew]

I have no idea what's going on in this thread....but I like it.

Never mind that shit...Here comes Mongo!

[Mark4myself]

I use wrestling terminology frequently in my daily life. I mean check out my name on here "Mark4myself" that wrestling lingo right there.

I also giggle when I eat pie.

[Mark4myself]

"oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhh!"

[Drew]

The official wrestling thread has committed a wellness violation.

[Greenville 90210]

There's all the other superstars...then there's MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[Mark4myself]

The official wrestling thread has committed a wellness violation.

B...but....I have been studying for that piss test for weeks. I dont' understand how I could have failed it.

[Greenville 90210]

You went to college to look at dicks?

[Masculine Todd]

Everyone talks too much!

[Masculine Todd]

My friend hit his head on a tree limb last night while walking to my apartment. When he got in, he was juicing pretty bad. My roomie was concerned. I told my friend that I was aware of that face that it was probably a blade job. My roomie's such a mark.

[joeAR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XP4gWpyIww&feature=player_embedded#at=13

[Masculine Todd]

You went to college to look at dicks?

If we're being honest, that's pretty much why I went off to college.

[Drew]

There's all the other superstars...then there's MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Scotland Green's the Shimmer Champ?

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/9961/motivator48a5bfda27f820.jpg

[Masculine Todd]

Dramatic score while he stutters and makes awkward pauses in a wooden-paneled room.

[Drew]

Insane Dusty Commentary!

[Greenville 90210]

Scotland Green's the Shimmer Champ?



Aztec Jeff Jarrett

[Greenville 90210]

Shooooooowwwww!!!!!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Drew's corpsing? SEND FOR THE MAN!

[Masculine Todd]

The way wrestlers use "juicing" and the way I use "juicing" are very different.

[Damian696]

y'know what this thread needs:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NgVflm5M0NE/0.jpg


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aom5t9XkWS8

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

did anyone hear that story from lagana's podcast about vince shitting himself during a promo, walking backstage, disrobing and chasing brisco around with his soiled unmentionables?

[Damian696]

did anyone hear that story from lagana's podcast about vince shitting himself during a promo, walking backstage, disrobing and chasing brisco around with his soiled unmentionables?

that's actually where his strut comes from.

[joeAR]

did anyone hear that story from lagana's podcast about vince shitting himself during a promo, walking backstage, disrobing and chasing brisco around with his soiled unmentionables?


I did! Vince basically does these things to gross out Gerald. That's where Mae Young giving birth to a hand came from.

[The Dean]

Do you think the Hardys should go in the hall of fame separately or together?

I think they should go in together.

Yeah, but Jeff is going to jail alone...

[Benel Germosen]

did anyone hear that story from lagana's podcast about vince shitting himself during a promo, walking backstage, disrobing and chasing brisco around with his soiled unmentionables?

I like the fact that you used " shitting himself " but went with the euphemism for underwear.

[The Human Target]

I much prefer Gryphon to this.

[Masculine Todd]

No you don't.

[Briomega]

Yeah, but Jeff is going to jail alone...

When he meets his true love in there he will never be alone again.

[Daniel K.]

When he meets his true love in there he will never be alone again.

"You're addicted to meth? I'm addicted to meth!"

[Greenville 90210]

"You're stuck in the 90's? I'm stuck in the 90's! Wanna paint each other's faces with blacklight paint?"

[Daniel K.]

"You're stuck in the 90's? I'm stuck in the 90's! Wanna paint each other's faces with blacklight paint?"

"Wanna see my collection of mesh t-shirts? I keep them in my 'studio' double wide."

[Drew]

"Jumping off ladders makes you feel like a princess? Jumping off ladders makes ME feel like a princess?"

[Daniel K.]

"Man, I'm just livin' life... with you."

[Adrian B AWESOME]

"Amy Dumas cheated on your brother?! She cheated on mine, too!"

[Briomega]

Hey guys, what do you think if TNA does an angle where Jeff goes to jail and is forced into a relationship with another "inmate"? They could make it another x-division guy and start a new tag team because TNA loves tag team wresting.


Social media!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Hey guys, what do you think if TNA does an angle where Jeff goes to jail and is forced into a relationship with another "inmate"? They could make it another x-division guy and start a new tag team because TNA loves tag team wresting.


Social media!

Social Media should be the WWE champion AND the anonymous RAW GM.

[Masculine Todd]

Social Media would get pushed if there was a Cruiserweight Division.

[Greenville 90210]

from www.lolwrestlenewz.com


Social Media beat Zack Ryder for the Internet Title in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil!

[joeAR]

What the fuck........I don't even know how to respond to this. I love it

[Drew]

Morality Pet definition from TV Tropes...

Villains can become popular enough that the fandom becomes sympathetic to them. However, meshing them into the main cast can be dangerous and disappointing if Good Is Dumb. This can also be unrealistic since even those downgraded to protagonists tend to be skeptical of anyone trying to help them. Some heroes wouldn't exactly be quick to accept them, either.

One way to handle this is to present another character to befriend them. Ideally this should be someone who could pose no threat or even be demanding, and depending how the plot goes, the recovering villain becomes fond of this other character and may draw stability from their presence.

YOU GUYS! JOHN CENA IS ZACK RYDER'S MORALITY PET!

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Speaking of trivializing sexual assault:

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/06/former-wwe-wrestler-x-pac-i-was-molested-as-a-kid/

Ex-WWE Star X-Pac -- I Was Molested as a Kid

6/7/2011 9:47 AM PDT by TMZ Staff

Former WWE wrestler X-Pac says he suffered years of sexual abuse as a child -- and he's opening up about his emotional struggle in the hopes of helping other victims cope with their pain.

X-Pac -- a.k.a. Sean Waltman -- took to his blog Monday to praise wrestling legend Mick Foley for the work he's been doing with the Rape Abuse & Incest Network ... especially because Sean himself is a "survivor of repeated sexual abuse/molestation from about age 5 to around the age of 12."

For the first time ever, Waltman revealed details about the abuse -- saying his abusers were both male and female. X-Pac adds, "The most psychologically damaging incidents came at the hands of an adult male who actually brought me to my first pro wrestling match."

Waltman says he finally told his family about the abuse when he was in his 20's -- explaining, "It’s so difficult for victims of sexual abuse to come forward. The shame & fear involved in coming forward is overwhelming."

"Feeling like it’s our fault or fearing what people will think of you prevent many from ever coming forward ... I choose to talk openly about it, hoping it may inspire others to come forward and expose these people."

X-Pac continues, "This is a huge step in dealing with the psychological damage done to the victim & can also save others from having to suffer the same fate. So I can’t thank Mick enough for his work with RAINN."

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

It all worked out for him, he got to bang prime Jenna Jameson.

[Kirblar]

Over the Limit did 75K domestic buys. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Like, they should be in fucking PANIC mode right now, but they're still blazing ahead, in full corporate "take no chances" mode.

[Bervda]

Latest Observer notes that prelim numbers for Over The Limit put the buyrate at around 75,000. Yikes.

[Bervda]

Over the Limit did 75K domestic buys. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Like, they should be in fucking PANIC mode right now, but they're still blazing ahead, in full corporate "take no chances" mode.

I think I owe you a Coke.

[Kirblar]

And as Scott Keith notes - Rock was worth every penny for WM. What a dfference.

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

hmmm. clearly the problem is not enough super cena and cena title wins.

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

And as Scott Keith notes - Rock was worth every penny for WM. What a dfference.

seriously, the rock single handed likely more than doubled the buyrates, it's an incredible testament to the man.

[Bervda]

hmmm. clearly the problem is not enough super cena and cena title wins.

Honestly, Cena's far from the biggest problem.

[Kirblar]

Honestly, Cena's far from the biggest problem.
Yeah, he's like the life preserver. Or any floating inanimate object, really. He goes out there and does what he's told, which is probably part of why they're in such a mess- he never says no.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

Having 12-13 PPVs a year is a mistake. 6 MAX. Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Survivor Series, Summerslam, MITB and Elimination Chamber. Spread it out, build your programs and make them mean something again. This PPV every month format is dumb. It doesn't work. When your shows have meaning, people will want to watch them. You create less shows, you increase desire to see PPVs due to building storylines and desire to see resolution.

[SteveFlack]

Yeah, he's like the life preserver. Or any floating inanimate object, really. He goes out there and does what he's told, which is probably part of why they're in such a mess- he never says no.

This is a dumb argument. That's his job. It's not the wrestlers job to go out there and call the shots. That's the bookers job. If you have wrestlers out there saying no, you have an organization is disarray. That's what happened in WCW. You had a contingent of older wrestlers calling the shots and keeping people down.

You can't blame Cena for going out there and winning all the time. Blame the guy who holds the book.

[Daniel K.]

Having 12-13 PPVs a year is a mistake. 6 MAX. Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Survivor Series, Summerslam, MITB and Elimination Chamber. Spread it out, build your programs and make them mean something again. This PPV every month format is dumb. It doesn't work. When your shows have meaning, people will want to watch them. You create less shows, you increase desire to see PPVs due to building storylines and desire to see resolution.

As long as Vince is still in charge no amount of PPVs is going to be the "magic number". The current 12 or so is such a mess because Vince changes his mind 17 tines in a 3 week build but a larger gap in between PPVs would just give him more of a chance to change his mind over and over again. Vince is a great promoter but it's clear he just hasn't adapted properly over the years. Our best hope is to see what happens after he either retires or dies but even then we don't know how Triple H is going to act plus I'd bet Kevin Dunn will still be there doing whatever it is he does.

[Adrian B AWESOME]

And I'm sorry, but guys like Jim Cornette aren't the answer either. He's stuck in the past, too. It's obvious that indie promotions like ROH and Chikara are taking a much more modern approach to things, but it's still very raw and not refined.

[SteveFlack]

The big problem? They're repeating WCW's mistakes. Remember the Power Plant? WCW's wrestling factory turned out generic wrestler after generic wrestler, with only one success story: Goldberg. FCW is basically "Power Plant 2.0".

[Kirblar]

The big problem? They're repeating WCW's mistakes. Remember the Power Plant? WCW's wrestling factory turned out generic wrestler after generic wrestler, with only one success story: Goldberg. FCW is basically "Power Plant 2.0".
This is true.

[Masculine Todd]

And I'm sorry, but guys like Jim Cornette aren't the answer either. He's stuck in the past, too. It's obvious that indie promotions like ROH and Chikara are taking a much more modern approach to things, but it's still very raw and not refined.

Is he out-of-touch with pop-culturally relevant events and phenomena? Absolutely. That doesn't negate the fact that there's a time-tested "equation" for constructing an arresting program, generating fan-investment in your talent and their feuds and creating an illusion of animosity between opponents. Manufacturing drama and psychology isn't what changes, but rather, the cosmetic, aesthetic backdrop that frames it.

Vince has abandoned quite a few integral elements of strong, money-drawing feud building. And in turn, he's conditioning everyone around him to adopt and acclimate to this new way of conservative booking. A guy like Cornette, who was a product of the old way and far from a yes-man (though often taking it to another extreme), could be incredibly valuable.

[SteveFlack]

Is he out-of-touch with pop-culturally relevant events and phenomena? Absolutely. That doesn't negate the fact that there's a time-tested "equation" for constructing an arresting program, generating fan-investment in your talent and their feuds and creating an illusion of animosity between opponents. Manufacturing drama and psychology isn't what changes, but rather, the cosmetic, aesthetic backdrop that frames it.

Vince has abandoned quite a few integral elements of strong, money-drawing feud building. And in turn, he's conditioning everyone around him to adopt and acclimate to this new way of conservative booking. A guy like Cornette, who was a product of the old way and far from a yes-man (though often taking it to another extreme), could be incredibly valuable.

Yay, Old Todd is back!

[The Human Target]

His supply of tainted coke must have run out.

[Masculine Todd]

Vince has the mentality that the face must triumph, which sends the fans home happy. But that triumph's supposed to be the culmination of weeks and months of struggle. I mean, we've seen this formula since the fucking Odyssey. The hero has a storyarc, they have to meet adversary, and their ultimate glory is only satisfying in that they were on the verge of defeat. They, as a hybrid of all of these desirable traits, are only as noble, just and endearing as their villain is vile, reprehensible and duplicitous. You can't send the fans home happy every Raw, at every PPV and every house show and expect each of those supposed triumphs to resonate with anyone. There has to be peril. And without peril, there can't be any good villains, because a villain becomes strong in their ability to gain the upper hard for a nondescript period of time.

I don't know, it's just so lame.

[Masculine Todd]

OR, they could just have Cena tag with a kinda over face every week and pin some heel they're pushing for that month's PPV match against him. Send 'em home happy.

[SteveFlack]

I thought the "dark main events" were supposed to be what "sends the fans home happy"? Granted, I know I'm taking the term literally, but Vince just doesn't understand tension. I wonder how he would have ended "The Empire Strikes Back"?

[Masculine Todd]

What artists/songs do you think Vince has on his iPod?

[SteveFlack]

What artists/songs do you think Vince has on his iPod?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TagYCiw4R4E

Just that. On a loop.