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View Full Version : Remake this!



CapnChaos
02-23-2011, 05:01 PM
You have carte blanche to remake any film that you want.

What film do you choose?

I'm going with Howard the Duck, because A) the comics were awesome, B) CGI tech means we could have a Howard that actually looks like the real Howard instead of a guy in a terrible suit and C) while I love Lea Thompson in her underwear as much as the next guy, the world needs the taste of Howard recast as a water fowl Paul Reiser washed out of it's mouth. Plus, it's just aesthetically so damn ugly to look at. Like a Peter Jackson horror film, but without the creativity and humor.

I cast Billy West as the voice of Howard. And Yvonne Strahovski as Beverly.

Marc Lombardi
02-23-2011, 05:14 PM
It's not a remake per se, but I restart the Cannonball Run franchise.

I offer the starring roles to Owen Wilson and Jorge Garcia in the Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise roles.

Vince Vaughan and P. Diddy are the foils a la Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.

The hot chick car is Cameron Diaz and Rosario Dawson. Get Jackie Chan back. Give a car to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon just for the hell of it. Let Brett Fave and Jason Lee play a couple of hillbilly rednecks. Have Jason Statham essentially play himself (as a nod to Roger Moore playing himself). Let Will Ferrell chew some scenery for a bit.

And of course a cameo from Burt Reynolds.

CapnChaos
02-23-2011, 05:16 PM
It's not a remake per se, but I restart the Cannonball Run franchise.

I offer the starring roles to Owen Wilson and Jorge Garcia in the Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise roles.

Vince Vaughan and P. Diddy are the foils a la Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.

The hot chick car is Cameron Diaz and Rosario Dawson. Get Jackie Chan back. Give a car to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon just for the hell of it. Let Brett Fave and Jason Lee play a couple of hillbilly rednecks. Have Jason Statham essentially play himself (as a nod to Roger Moore playing himself). Let Will Ferrell chew some scenery for a bit.

And of course a cameo from Burt Reynolds.

How about Will Ferrell running through as Ricky Bobby?

Marc Lombardi
02-23-2011, 05:22 PM
How about Will Ferrell running through as Ricky Bobby?

I picture him as more of a late minute addition to the main team (like the Dr. Frankenstein dude from the original). Sort of the batshit whacky guy who doesn't really factor in to the whole deal too much.

JJ Fresh
02-23-2011, 05:36 PM
When I think of movies that desperately need remakes my mind instantly goes to the horror genre. The old movies are diluted and newer versions lose sight of what made the originals great. Here's two that can work or deserve better treatment:

Nightmare on Elm Street

One of the best horror icons that was done dirty by too many terrible sequels. Then, when they try a new version its just as damning. Change the make-up to the original style and keep Jackie Earle Haley. No need for model victims or huge amounts of gore, just go with surreal dream imagery that sticks with people and create a scary atmosphere. Freddie Kruger deserves better and needs to be made a terrifying entity yet again.

Hellraiser was another movie villain cheapened by terrible sequels. If they go back to the roots that would be another horror franchise that would scar a lot of people. Some excellent costume and make-up effects would set things just right, and lots of flesh crawling and stripping of course.

TV Zombie
02-23-2011, 05:39 PM
Star Wars prequels 1-2-3 (for obvious reasons)

Cactusakic
02-23-2011, 05:41 PM
Hellraiser was another movie villain cheapened by terrible sequels. If they go back to the roots that would be another horror franchise that would scar a lot of people. Some excellent costume and make-up effects would set things just right, and lots of flesh crawling and stripping of course.

Firstly: BLASPHEMY!!!
All the Hellraiser films are awesome in their own way with the exception of Bloodline, which never did anything for me. 1-3 and 5-8 all have their good qualities though (I admit, Hellworld, with Lance Henrickson, was pretty damn poor, but I kinda dug it in a guilty pleasure kinda way).

Secondly: Last I heard, they were already rebooting/remaking the first film.

Ryan Elliott
02-23-2011, 05:43 PM
Firstly: BLASPHEMY!!!
All the Hellraiser films are awesome in their own way with the exception of Bloodline, which never did anything for me. 1-3 and 5-8 all have their good qualities though (I admit, Hellworld, with Lance Henrickson, was pretty damn poor, but I kinda dug it in a guilty pleasure kinda way).

Secondly: Last I heard, they were already rebooting/remaking the first film.


Yep, and from the last thing I heard about it, it's going to be PG-13.

For the teen audience.

JJ Fresh
02-23-2011, 05:44 PM
Firstly: BLASPHEMY!!!
All the Hellraiser films are awesome in their own way with the exception of Bloodline, which never did anything for me. 1-3 and 5-8 all have their good qualities though (I admit, Hellworld, with Lance Henrickson, was pretty damn poor, but I kinda dug it in a guilty pleasure kinda way).

Secondly: Last I heard, they were already rebooting/remaking the first film.

Didn't even know there was an eighth film, I can only imagine if I disliked the other sequels what that would be like. And their remaking the original? I can certainly hope they do well and keep it far away from the Platinum Dunes train wreck. (Edit: PG-13? Okay, hope gone.)

CapnChaos
02-23-2011, 05:48 PM
I'm asking this seriously; has there ever been a sequel or remake that went from R-rated to PG-13 or PG and been anywhere close to as good as the original?

I offer Blues Brothers 2000 and Revenge of the Nerds as subjects A & B.

The only thing I can think of is Live Free or Die Hard, which I've mostly heard people say, "It's a pretty good action movie, but it's not a Die Hard movie."

Mister Kyle
02-23-2011, 05:54 PM
Daredevil or Punisher

Kurt Russell Crowe
02-23-2011, 06:02 PM
I'd make a new Gremlins movie.

Blake Sims
02-23-2011, 07:52 PM
Robocop.

The Human Target
02-23-2011, 08:06 PM
It's not a remake per se, but I restart the Cannonball Run franchise.

I offer the starring roles to Owen Wilson and Jorge Garcia in the Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise roles.

Vince Vaughan and P. Diddy are the foils a la Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.

The hot chick car is Cameron Diaz and Rosario Dawson. Get Jackie Chan back. Give a car to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon just for the hell of it. Let Brett Fave and Jason Lee play a couple of hillbilly rednecks. Have Jason Statham essentially play himself (as a nod to Roger Moore playing himself). Let Will Ferrell chew some scenery for a bit.

And of course a cameo from Burt Reynolds.

I would watch the shit out of this.


I'd make a new Gremlins movie.

Fuck yeah!

Josh!
02-23-2011, 08:33 PM
"Weekend at Bernies"
with Jonah Hill and Jay Baruchel as the two young professionals, Bill Murray as Bernie.

"Porky's"
With mostly unknowns.

and, I'm quite serious, in about 10 years "I Love You Beth Cooper"
With Paul Feig at the helm and a completely different cast.

dougmac
02-23-2011, 08:50 PM
It's not a remake per se, but I restart the Cannonball Run franchise.

I offer the starring roles to Owen Wilson and Jorge Garcia in the Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise roles.

Vince Vaughan and P. Diddy are the foils a la Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.

The hot chick car is Cameron Diaz and Rosario Dawson. Get Jackie Chan back. Give a car to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon just for the hell of it. Let Brett Fave and Jason Lee play a couple of hillbilly rednecks. Have Jason Statham essentially play himself (as a nod to Roger Moore playing himself). Let Will Ferrell chew some scenery for a bit.

And of course a cameo from Burt Reynolds.

Spot on. Also, what actors wouldn't have a blast showing up for parts in these. It be a great job for someone either trying to build on some little sucesses or show a new side to themselves or for an established actor to just do something fun after a heavier project.

Magnum V.I.
02-23-2011, 09:41 PM
Robocop.

Fuck yes!

I was going to post the same thing.


I just read Frank Miller and Walt Simonson's Robocop versus Terminator.


God damn do I want to see updated Robocop.

DAVE
02-23-2011, 10:06 PM
I posted this awhile ago:

Police Academy

Mahoney:Vince Vaughan
Tackleberry: Will Farrell
Hightower: Shaq
Jones: Since there's no way to replace this guy, I'd cheat and use sound effect dubbing over the dialouge like they did on 30 Rock and cast Tracy Morgan.
Lt. Harris: Ben Stiller
maybe Jeff Bridges as Lesard.

dougmac
02-23-2011, 10:14 PM
I posted this awhile ago:

Police Academy

Mahoney:Vince Vaughan
Tackleberry: Will Farrell
Hightower: Shaq
Jones: Since there's no way to replace this guy, I'd cheat and use sound effect dubbing over the dialouge like they did on 30 Rock and cast Tracy Morgan.
Lt. Harris: Ben Stiller
maybe Jeff Bridges as Lesard.

That's a franchise I don't really want to see come back, but I couldn't stay away from a movie with that cast doing those characters. Maybe chnage out Farell for Favreau and find a part for Faizon Love because those two and Vaughn love working together.

Ashwin Pande
02-23-2011, 10:15 PM
Grim Fandango so I can play it on my Xbox. It doesn't even work on Vista systems now.

batmanbooyah
02-24-2011, 03:39 AM
I'm asking this seriously; has there ever been a sequel or remake that went from R-rated to PG-13 or PG and been anywhere close to as good as the original?

I offer Blues Brothers 2000 and Revenge of the Nerds as subjects A & B.

The only thing I can think of is Live Free or Die Hard, which I've mostly heard people say, "It's a pretty good action movie, but it's not a Die Hard movie."

revenge of the nerds was the original one.

airplane! had nudity in it! and that was PG!

Kevin T Brown
02-24-2011, 03:44 AM
Superman!!!

Already being done?? Damn, hold on a sec.....


Spider-Man!!

This is being re-done also??? Damn again.... this is not easy....


Total Recall!!!

This too?!?!?!?!? Aw crap, I give up!

afroloq
02-24-2011, 03:53 AM
The Ten Commandments - with all of the CGI Wizardry out there to make almost any epic, I am surprised that this hasn't been remade yet.

Same with Spartacus (and I don't count the Starz show as a remake)

I'm not really big on remakes but those 2 I would like to see a new version done.

Greygor
02-24-2011, 03:54 AM
Them & Tarantula - I'd love me some B Movies with modern Sp E

Valley of Gwangi - I love the original but I think the lost valley needs to be explored more, Dinosaurs & Cowboys, how is that not good?

Zeppe
02-24-2011, 04:06 AM
The Last Starfighter!

The Doctor
02-24-2011, 04:11 AM
Wizard Of Oz

Ryudo
02-24-2011, 04:18 AM
I have a different answer for the "franchise" vs. the "film," because the franchise I want to remake never put out a movie.

An easy one that springs to mind is a Grease remake with Justin Timberlake and Heather Morris in the starring roles.

I'll be back later with a more involved answer.

cPol
02-24-2011, 04:39 AM
God damn do I want to see updated Robocop.

Various versions of the following statement have been made in the press over the last week:


MGM are apparently moving ahead with production of the RoboCop remake, despite axing their entire digital department.

http://www.totalfilm.com/news/mgm-set-to-move-robocop-remake-into-production

Ryudo
02-24-2011, 04:44 AM
My sci-fi side says remake Galaxy Quest, but it was pretty much perfect the way it came out. We just need Tim Allen to stop doing Chevy voiceover work and come back for another installment.

So I am going to say an Airplane remake.

With the comedy greats of today.

I would be good with that.

greg donovan
02-24-2011, 04:55 AM
all the star wars movies and make them animated.

cPol
02-24-2011, 04:55 AM
Krull and Red Sonja

Greygor
02-24-2011, 06:06 AM
My sci-fi side says remake Galaxy Quest, but it was pretty much perfect the way it came out. We just need Tim Allen to stop doing Chevy voiceover work and come back for another installment.

So I am going to say an Airplane remake.

With the comedy greats of today.

I would be good with that.

Unfortunately it would probably be handled by The Wayans, and no matter what comedy geniuses they put in it it would be dragged to their level of suckitude.


I think both Galaxy Quest and Airplane are prime examples of films that don't need to be remade.

Add to that the proposed Great Gatsby remake, in 3-D FFS

chazbot
02-24-2011, 06:16 AM
Johnny Mnemonic

Just the technological updates from 15 years alone could push the possibilities of the film's plot that much further. Also, the whole Dolph Lundgren Preacher thing could be better reimagined. Hell, and if they really wanted to, they could recast Keanu for the main role.

CapnChaos
02-24-2011, 06:57 AM
Spot on. Also, what actors wouldn't have a blast showing up for parts in these. It be a great job for someone either trying to build on some little sucesses or show a new side to themselves or for an established actor to just do something fun after a heavier project.
It's a good call. It seems like one of those breezy, fun films that actors would sign on for out of nostalgia and the ability to cut loose with other big names. And then there's five direct-to-DVD sequels for you to rake in the cash with. :D

Grim Fandango so I can play it on my Xbox. It doesn't even work on Vista systems now.
....
http://popbytes.com/img/don-draper-says-what.jpg


revenge of the nerds was the original one.

airplane! had nudity in it! and that was PG!
Dah, I meant RotN2 which dropped to PG-13.

My sci-fi side says remake Galaxy Quest, but it was pretty much perfect the way it came out. We just need Tim Allen to stop doing Chevy voiceover work and come back for another installment.

So I am going to say an Airplane remake.

With the comedy greats of today.

I would be good with that.
Galaxy Quest is one of those perfect films to me. I can watch it over and over. Which of course are the ones that tend to get remade instead of the bad ones that could be made good, haha.

WinterRose
02-24-2011, 10:44 AM
Fritz Lang's 'Metropolis' - Modern SILENT Film. Hans Zimmer & Ulrich Schnauss re-imagine the original orchestration. Occasional sound effects. Mix of Art Deco, Diesel/Steampunk, High Sci Fi design making proper homage to Lang's designs and inspirations. Ewan MacGregor as Freder. Hel Robot design by Hajime Sorayama.

Other things to remake:

The Greatest American Hero - With Bruce Campbell in Robert Stack's role.

Space: 1999 - Worth it just to use the song by Prince at some point. Moon isn't blown out of orbit by unstable nuclear waste this time. Atomic Supercollider blows a wormhole in spacetime which sucks the moon through to some random point in the universe. NO HOPE of getting home.

Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot' - That abortion they vomited up on the USA Network was unforgivable. As true an adaptation for the 21st century as is possible.

The Original Star Wars Trilogy - Without George or his ill-informed interferance. I second Donovan's idea to do them all as animated features. All new cast of voice actors. Non-Celebrities that would be willing to voice their characters for the indefinite future.

Michael Crichton's 'Looker' - Only with real CGI this time. And a scathing commentary on News Corp worked into the 'message'.

Jean Giraud's The Airtight Garage - Yes this counts, I heard there was a Czech version of this once.

Stephen King's 'Dreamcatcher - And this time cast James Woods in the role meant for him. And oh... I dunno... DO THE STORY PROPERLY?

Stephen King's Silver Bullet - Only using the screenplay that Steve Wrote and call it Cycle of the Werewolf.

Tron - Story stays the same. Only with today's Tron Legacy tech.

More as I think of em.

The Dean
02-24-2011, 11:09 AM
The Thin Man. I'd cast John Cusack as Nick and Debra Messing as Nora. I'd also keep it a serious mystery and not the slapstick comedy the first films became.

dougmac
02-24-2011, 11:48 AM
Other things to remake:

The Greatest American Hero - With Bruce Campbell in Robert Stack's role.



This almost happened a few years ago, with Sandler taking on the lead. Be careful what you wish for

ZombieSpeedball
02-24-2011, 11:52 AM
Star Kid

I retool the plot to being about a girl instead of a boy, and that girl is played by Chloe Moretz. She then proceeds to get an alien suit of armor and kill the everloving shit out of every villain that crosses her path.

Tom Burgos
02-24-2011, 12:22 PM
SPACE 1999- Moon colony gets thrown out of orbit; humans meet a variety of alien races, cosmic terrors, space amazons, sexy shapeshifters.
ELECTRIC DREAMS- Boy falls in love with girl, boy's computer falls in love with girl. Boy's computer creates music for girl and makes boy's life miserable.

russw
02-24-2011, 01:21 PM
I loved to see a Starship Troopers that actually had something in common with the source material.

russw
02-24-2011, 01:23 PM
The Thin Man. I'd cast John Cusack as Nick and Debra Messing as Nora. I'd also keep it a serious mystery and not the slapstick comedy the first films became.

I could be down with this if it was a period piece

Dan-C
02-24-2011, 02:01 PM
The Bodyguard (http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=74664)

cmoney
02-24-2011, 02:10 PM
I remake The Wolf Man. And it is a bloated, three-hour, self-indulgent epic of a film on the level of Peter Jackson's "King Kong". No one else will like it but me. :)

(Note: Last year's remake doesn't exist)

JJ Fresh
02-24-2011, 02:22 PM
I remake The Wolf Man. And it is a bloated, three-hour, self-indulgent epic of a film on the level of Peter Jackson's "King Kong". No one else will like it but me. :)

(Note: Last year's remake doesn't exist)

If only there was a thread where we can wish these terrible movies away ;-)

WinterRose
02-25-2011, 06:15 AM
If only there was a thread where we can wish these terrible movies away ;-)

Oddly enough...

http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=204467