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View Full Version : [official] Listen San Francisco, you just suffered a failed...MANCATION!



Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 12:21 PM
A mancation failure in San Francisco

San Francisco, California (CNN) -- A few weeks back I went on a mancation to San Francisco. For the uninitiated, a "mancation" is a trip taken by a bunch of guy friends to blow off steam and remember why they are better off home with their families.

It usually involves drinking, general irresponsibility and one or two events that can later be distorted to make guy friends who didn't go on the trip jealous.

Well, I'm sorry to report that my recent mancation was a failure.

It had promise. I was meeting up with some old friends from high school. We've had our share of adventures over the years including one (outstandingly crazy) spooky night on the Danube in Budapest that involved a rave, a mild concussion and butchered chicken.

That history, combined with the fact that two thirds of our group had months-old babies at home, seemed the perfect kindling for a spark of adventure to take light in. But, from the moment I checked in to the affordable, practical Hotel Union Square, I knew something was amiss.

Normally, when it comes to accommodations, we fly by the seat of our pants. This imbues our outings with a sense of mystery: Are we going to sleep in the car? Are we going to splurge for swank digs? Are we going to go to jail? But, no, this time we booked in advance via the online clearinghouse Hotwire.

How it works is they give you cheap rates on rooms, but they veil the names of the hotels until you book. (Thought: Why hasn't anyone tried this for dating sites? Second thought: Don't answer that. ) The Hotel Union Square is what I call an H&M hotel -- after the fast fashion clothing chain that's made America look sharp on the cheap.

It's stylish, modern and young, but it feels slapdash and is missing the touchstones of true luxury. In fact, it feels kind of like you're staying in an iPod with exposed brick. There are nice amenities like a flat screen tv, decent beds, and free wireless, and odd amenities like a shower without temperature controls. Fortunately for me it was the right temperature, which meant I was clean, but every time I bathed I got thrown into an existential crisis about how I was perfectly average.

These practical accommodations aside, all the fixings were there for a debauched Friday night. But what did we do? We had a tasty, reasonably priced meal at Flour and Water in San Francisco's hip Mission District. We didn't even blow money on a cab. Instead we took the practical, easily navigable subway known as BART and then walked the last part by foot.

Flour and Water is a hot ticket. They keep half of their seats open for walk-ins, but even so there is often an hour wait -- just the right amount of time to have a few apertifs and spark mischief. But no such luck. We were seated in a perfectly reasonable thirty minutes. I hadn't even finished my first glass of wine when we were served our seared sardine with parsley root puree and our pizza with balsamic braised radicchio, taleggio and speck.

When the waitress brought out the wrong pasta (we ordered the rabbit and prosciutto tortelloni, but she brought out the rosemary maltagliati with juniper lamb sausage instead) I got a glimmer of hope that this could be the beginning of the fiasco, but instead she told us to keep it if we liked it...and the dish turned out to be the best thing we ate all night.

Despite getting a good night's rest, I had high hopes for Saturday. Yes we planned to hike Mt. Tamalpais in Marin County -- just on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge -- a seemingly adult way to pass the time. But I happened to know of a few watering holes sprinkled around that beautiful landscape that would be the perfect places to set our weekend crooked.

First, we stopped at the Ferry Building Marketplace for breakfast, inch for inch, the greatest food hall in America. When I saw a basket of glistening donuts at the Pepples donut stall, I immediately ordered two, thinking it would set the tone for an unhealthy day of indulgence.

But no sooner had I stuffed one in my mouth that I saw that they were vegan. A vegan. Blueberry. Donut.

That kind of sums up the Bay Area and my weekend: Seductive and rich done as healthy and harmless as possible. Things weren't looking good.


You're on notice San Francisco!!!

batmanbooyah
02-16-2011, 12:51 PM
If you refer to ANYTHING as a "mancation" or put "man" infront of another word (mancave), you are NOT a man.

Ryudo
02-16-2011, 12:51 PM
Stop trying to make fetch happen.

Kedd
02-16-2011, 12:55 PM
If you use 'mancation" seriously you deserve to be kicked in the balls until you have no balls to be kicked in.

Kedd
02-16-2011, 12:58 PM
You're on notice San Francisco!!!
Don't you just hate it when you get seated at a restaurant in a reasonable amount of time?

Matthew Brown
02-16-2011, 01:01 PM
If you use 'mancation" seriously you deserve to be kicked in the balls until you have no balls to be kicked in.

Sounds like someones having their manperiod!

Kedd
02-16-2011, 01:01 PM
Sounds like someones having their manperiod!
You will be first...

Matthew Brown
02-16-2011, 01:04 PM
You will be first...

You can't catch me, I'm the manginger manbread manman!

TIP
02-16-2011, 01:05 PM
Manatee Manicotti

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 01:11 PM
Sounds more like manopause.



das

batmanbooyah
02-16-2011, 01:12 PM
Sounds like someones having their manperiod!

I laughed at that. Does it make me less of a man? Most likely.

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 01:13 PM
You'd think someone who needs to put "man" in front of every word would feel right at home in San Mancisco.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 01:14 PM
I laughed at that. Does it make me less of a man? Most likely.

between this, and the wolf video, I've come to the conclusion you're like...11.

;)



das

Matthew Brown
02-16-2011, 01:14 PM
Manatee Manicotti

Disgusting. Manatees are endangered and beautiful manimals!

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 01:21 PM
I wonder if any of the guys on that mancation were mancumcised.



das

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 01:23 PM
The Ro-MAN views this as threat to all things MAN.



Something must be done.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 01:24 PM
The Ro-MAN views this as threat to all things MAN.



Something must be done.

I'm reading a book right now called Ghosts of Manhattan by George Mann, and the underworld crime boss is called The Roman. In my head he looks like you. :D

das

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 01:26 PM
I'm reading a book right now called Ghosts of Manhattan bu George Mann, and the underworld crime boss is called The Roman. In my head he looks like you. :D

das

... yes "looks like" ... riiiiiight. :shifty:

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 01:29 PM
... yes "looks like" ... riiiiiight. :shifty:

Yeah, but he smells like Sasha...
...

..

.

Heeeeeeey. Have you been slummin'??

;)



das

thatguyfromsyracuse
02-16-2011, 01:32 PM
Man-sturbating!

batmanbooyah
02-16-2011, 01:37 PM
between this, and the wolf video, I've come to the conclusion you're like...11.

;)

das

One day the rest of you will evolve to my level of humor!

Kedd
02-16-2011, 01:43 PM
I'm reading a book right now called Ghosts of Manhattan by George Mann, and the underworld crime boss is called The Roman. In my head he looks like you. :D

das



Why must you all keep using "man" in everything!?!?!?! Why?!?!?!?!?!?! :ecstatic:

thatguyfromsyracuse
02-16-2011, 01:47 PM
I heard batmanbooyah goes on lots of "mancations" with Magnum V.I.

DAVE
02-16-2011, 01:48 PM
Aren't these called bachelor parties? Who the fuck chooses to go to San Francisco for that??

Kedd
02-16-2011, 01:57 PM
Aren't these called bachelor parties? Who the fuck chooses to go to San Francisco for that??
Men who plan on getting married in InMassachusettes, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, D.C., or Iowa

batmanbooyah
02-16-2011, 02:10 PM
I heard batmanbooyah goes on lots of "mancations" with Magnum V.I.

Well sorry Sally, but you heard RIGHT!

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 02:11 PM
I heard batmanbooyah goes on lots of "mancations" with Magnum V.I.

Don't be so Mangry at me because he didn't choose you!

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 02:15 PM
Men who plan on getting married in InMassachusettes, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, D.C., or Iowa


Manada and Hawaii wept.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 02:32 PM
One day the rest of you will evolve to my level of humor!

Considering most of the folks here, that would be a step up. :p


Why must you all keep using "man" in everything!?!?!?! Why?!?!?!?!?!?! :ecstatic:

Manners, my dear Kedd, just good manners.

Now, I'm off to get a manicure.



Mandas

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 02:34 PM
Considering most of the folks here, that would be a step up. :p



Manners, my dear Kedd, just good manners.

Now, I'm off to get a manicure.



Mandas


Mmmmmm, Manda's Sausages. :drool:

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 02:38 PM
As I pointed out on Twitter: If you can't have fun in San Francisco then you can't have fun.

Sorry your vegan donut was vegan you dickhead (way to read the label) and sorry that your night of "debauchery" didn't go off as hard as you planned (which is weird since you said that you had a glass of wine AND ordered the rabbit/prosciutto tortellini). "Whaaaaah! our budget hotel was sort of budget-y!"

San Francisco has a LOT of problems (stupid wasteful city politics, a mayor who was little more than a pussy hound with a stylish hairdo, fucked up public transportation, that whole circumcision thing YEAH I WENT THERE, and fair weather baseball fans) but a shortage of places to eat, drink, and have a good time ain't one of them.

I can't wait to hear what other injustices were heaped upon him in addition to getting seated promptly at a popular restaurant and getting a free entree when the staff fucked up.

What an asshole.

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 02:42 PM
And that's completely independent of the whole idiotic "mancation" thing.

When did this happen? We're fucking men for christ's sake! We're literally in charge of NEARLY everything (especially the WHITE men). When did we decide that we had to "take it back" with bullshit like mancaves and mancations and manwhatevers?

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

Seriously... SUCH a fucking dickhead.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 02:49 PM
Blah, blah, blah... We're fucking men for christ's sake!...blah, blah, blah.

With or without their consent?





das

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 02:55 PM
We're fucking men for christ's sake!

San Francisco's Motto!!


or should I say Mantto?

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 03:05 PM
San Francisco's Motto!!


or should I say Mantto?

Says the guy with the manstache.






das

capntightpants
02-16-2011, 03:08 PM
As I pointed out on Twitter: If you can't have fun in San Francisco then you can't have fun.

Sorry your vegan donut was vegan you dickhead (way to read the label) and sorry that your night of "debauchery" didn't go off as hard as you planned (which is weird since you said that you had a glass of wine AND ordered the rabbit/prosciutto tortellini). "Whaaaaah! our budget hotel was sort of budget-y!"

San Francisco has a LOT of problems (stupid wasteful city politics, a mayor who was little more than a pussy hound with a stylish hairdo, fucked up public transportation, that whole circumcision thing YEAH I WENT THERE, and fair weather baseball fans) but a shortage of places to eat, drink, and have a good time ain't one of them.

I can't wait to hear what other injustices were heaped upon him in addition to getting seated promptly at a popular restaurant and getting a free entree when the staff fucked up.

What an asshole.


And that's completely independent of the whole idiotic "mancation" thing.

When did this happen? We're fucking men for christ's sake! We're literally in charge of NEARLY everything (especially the WHITE men). When did we decide that we had to "take it back" with bullshit like mancaves and mancations and manwhatevers?

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

Seriously... SUCH a fucking dickhead.

Buk, I hope that this was written tongue-in-cheek, because that article I'm pretty sure was.

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 03:10 PM
Says the guy with the manstache.

das

A man without a manstache is no man at all.



Buk, I hope that this was written tongue-in-cheek, because that article I'm pretty sure was.

The article was written with the utmost sincerity. I know, I wrote it.

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 03:13 PM
A man without a manstache is no man at all.



But he is a Wo-MAN.

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 03:14 PM
But he is a Wo-MAN.

Nope. He is a Man-Man.

mario
02-16-2011, 03:15 PM
You're on notice San Francisco!!!

fixed!

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 03:15 PM
Nope. He is a Man-Man.

Now you aren't making any MAN sense.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 03:20 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/Manwich.jpg

capntightpants
02-16-2011, 03:20 PM
A man without a manstache is no man at all.




The article was written with the utmost sincerity. I know, I wrote it.

You write for CNN! Congrats!

Shwicaz
02-16-2011, 03:35 PM
Sounds like someones having their manperiod!

you mean MENses?

Shwicaz
02-16-2011, 03:37 PM
Men who plan on getting married in InMassachusettes, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, D.C., or Iowa


ok, that made me laugh out loud.

I will be going to San Fran for the first time in 3 months.

Woot

capntightpants
02-16-2011, 03:43 PM
ok, that made me laugh out loud.

I will be going to San Fran for the first time in 3 months.

Woot

Come on over!
But please don't call it San Fran.

Kedd
02-16-2011, 03:48 PM
ok, that made me laugh out loud.

I will be going to San Fran for the first time in 3 months.

Woot
Then my job is done. The natives prefer that you call it "The City". San Fran and Frisco are frowned upon.

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 03:48 PM
Buk, I hope that this was written tongue-in-cheek, because that article I'm pretty sure was.

Not to pull the curtain too far back on my damaged psyche, but it was about half and half.

Basically this shitty article hit two of my pressure points:

1. Making fun of San Franscisco for it's San Francisco-ness, when there are so many other and BETTER things to make fun of San Francisco about. "LOL hippies and liberals and foodies" is so fucking played out.
2. All of this "MAN" bullshit. I thought the era of Maxim magazine and being a "REAL MANLY MAN" was long dead.

CHRIST I'M SO FUCKING TIRED YOU GUYS WHY AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?!??!?

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 03:49 PM
Come on over!
But please don't call it San Fran.

This guy gets it!

capntightpants
02-16-2011, 03:51 PM
Not to pull the curtain too far back on my damaged psyche, but it was about half and half.

Basically this shitty article hit two of my pressure points:

1. Making fun of San Franscisco for it's San Francisco-ness, when there are so many other and BETTER things to make fun of San Francisco about. "LOL hippies and liberals and foodies" is so fucking played out.
2. All of this "MAN" bullshit. I thought the era of Maxim magazine and being a "REAL MANLY MAN" was long dead.

CHRIST I'M SO FUCKING TIRED YOU GUYS WHY AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?!??!?

See, 'cause I thought the article was exactly the opposite of both of those things. I thought it was actually complimenting SF, and the "Man" stuff it was poking fun at. :dunno:

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 03:58 PM
See, 'cause I thought the article was exactly the opposite of both of those things. I thought it was actually complimenting SF, and the "Man" stuff it was poking fun at. :dunno:

I dunno... maybe I didn't read it closely enough.

So I guess it was a "funny humor article" and I didn't pick up on that since it was flying under the CNN banner. The person who initially led me to it (via Twitter) seemed to be taking it seriously so I guess I did too.

Move along people. Nothing to see here.

In conclusion: Fuck Kedd.

dasNdanger
02-16-2011, 04:04 PM
Sooo... Buk Was Wrong??

:???:



das

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 04:08 PM
Sooo... Buk Was Wrong??

:???:



das

Oh great. Now dEnny is going to change my name again.

I don't know if I was completely wrong. The main crux of my opinion was that the article was stupid and unfunny which I still stand by.

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 04:16 PM
ok, that made me laugh out loud.

I will be going to San Fran for the first time in 3 months.

Woot

Me too!! With my pregger's wife!!


I dunno... maybe I didn't read it closely enough.

So I guess it was a "funny humor article" and I didn't pick up on that since it was flying under the CNN banner. The person who initially led me to it (via Twitter) seemed to be taking it seriously so I guess I did too.

Move along people. Nothing to see here.

In conclusion: Fuck Kedd.

Kedd's from Philly?

[IN JOKE!]

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 04:18 PM
Is someone saying "San Fran" as irritating to you Bay Area folks as someone saying "N'Awlins" is to me?


I wonder ...

Kedd
02-16-2011, 06:05 PM
I dunno... maybe I didn't read it closely enough.

So I guess it was a "funny humor article" and I didn't pick up on that since it was flying under the CNN banner. The person who initially led me to it (via Twitter) seemed to be taking it seriously so I guess I did too.

Move along people. Nothing to see here.

In conclusion: Fuck Kedd.
I swear to god I'm going to sit next to you on BART one day. And when that happens my revenge will begin.


Sooo... Buk Was Wrong??

:???:



das
buk is rarely not wrong.

xyzzy
02-16-2011, 06:09 PM
Flour + Water is pretty damn good.

Buk Was Right
02-16-2011, 07:07 PM
Is someone saying "San Fran" as irritating to you Bay Area folks as someone saying "N'Awlins" is to me?


I wonder ...

Is N'Awlins the worst one? Because "Frisco" is the real asshole move around here.

N'awlins seems like it's not only attaching a nickname, but it's also affecting an accent of sorts. Which is really maddening. Like white newscasters who start rolling their Rs when ever they say Guerrero or something.

Magnum V.I.
02-16-2011, 07:42 PM
I love Frisco so much.

Roman Noodles
02-16-2011, 07:46 PM
Is N'Awlins the worst one? Because "Frisco" is the real asshole move around here.

N'awlins seems like it's not only attaching a nickname, but it's also affecting an accent of sorts. Which is really maddening. Like white newscasters who start rolling their Rs when ever they say Guerrero or something.

I'm not even from San Francisco, but I can see "Frisco" being a douchebaggy term. Like "lates."


And yeah, it is a bit of affectation of an accent, which like most fake accents, if you don't have to, please don't.

Alex
02-16-2011, 11:47 PM
Is someone saying "San Fran" as irritating to you Bay Area folks as someone saying "N'Awlins" is to me?


I wonder ...

Only if you say it with an obnoxious accent.

Shwicaz
02-17-2011, 01:15 AM
Is someone saying "San Fran" as irritating to you Bay Area folks as someone saying "N'Awlins" is to me?


I wonder ...


or 'Beantown' to me?

I love when people come to Boston and go 'can I PAHK the CAH In HAHVAHD YAHHHHD'

I just want to say "No, asshole, because you are in Boston, not Cambridge".

So, thanks for the "S** F***" tip. I get it. :)

I will revive my "going to San Francisco" thread soon. May want to do a meet up while I'm out there. STay tuned.....

Magnum V.I.
03-03-2011, 04:44 PM
Yep. Still failing San Francisco.