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View Full Version : Name ONE historical figure you would "do" if given a time machine.



Mordru
08-15-2010, 08:51 PM
Audrey Hepburnhttp://fashionbride.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/audrey_hepburn_12.jpg

Spiffy
08-15-2010, 08:56 PM
Audrey Hepburn
This game includes the caveat that they'd actually give you (us?) the time of day?

Ravenwing263
08-15-2010, 08:58 PM
This game includes the caveat that they'd actually give you (us?) the time of day?

Impress them with your iSuperior Technology.

Spiffy
08-15-2010, 09:02 PM
I'd say Marie Antoinette, except if you look at the paintings supposedly of the ACTUAL Marie, versus the more modern actresses who have played her in movies... its a good example of how standards of beauty have changed a bit.

That gonna be true for MOST historical figures actually. Audrey H. almost doesn't count, because she came after that change in aesthetics occurred (I'd peg that change happening around the 1920s).

dmh3000
08-15-2010, 09:04 PM
Gail Simone.

Hah, but seriously either Marilyn Monroe or Joan of Arc.

Ryan Elliott
08-15-2010, 09:14 PM
was Morgan LeFay real?

If so her.

BClayMoore
08-15-2010, 09:22 PM
The Virgin Mary.

-Clay

Larime Taylor
08-15-2010, 09:27 PM
The Virgin Mary.

-Clay

Well played, sir!

RoaP
08-15-2010, 10:38 PM
Boudiacca. So I could tell her, "shake that booty, Boudy!"

Slewo.O
08-15-2010, 10:57 PM
I'd say Marie Antoinette, except if you look at the paintings supposedly of the ACTUAL Marie, versus the more modern actresses who have played her in movies... its a good example of how standards of beauty have changed a bit.

That gonna be true for MOST historical figures actually. Audrey H. almost doesn't count, because she came after that change in aesthetics occurred (I'd peg that change happening around the 1920s).

Whatchoo talking about?

RoaP
08-15-2010, 11:12 PM
Whatchoo talking about?

If I may answer for Spiffy:

For example it used to be that plump women were much more attractive than skinny or athletic women because it was a sign of affluence.

Also general health, diet, and hygiene have improved so a person we would see as a root from 100 years or more ago was quite likely the very specimin of beauty back then.

RobStaeger
08-15-2010, 11:46 PM
I've always had a thing for a silent film star named Eleanor Boardman:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4c/ELEANOR_BOARDMAN_From_Stars_of_the_Photoplay.jpg/220px-ELEANOR_BOARDMAN_From_Stars_of_the_Photoplay.jpg

Thequeerjock
08-16-2010, 03:52 AM
Demitri Martin's lawyers would like a word with you. He was the Time Gigolo after all!
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=217484

danlomb
08-16-2010, 03:54 AM
Elizabeth Montgomery.

*humps the air*

Battle_Angel_Joe
08-16-2010, 05:52 AM
Frances Ethel Gumm.

http://img169.imagevenue.com/loc24/th_60711_Judy_Garland_51_122_24lo.jpg (http://img169.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=60711_Judy_Garland_51_122_24lo.jpg) Age 19

http://img252.imagevenue.com/loc187/th_60841_JudyGarland1943fortheboyssg4_122_187lo.jp g (http://img252.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=60841_JudyGarland1943fortheboyssg4_1 22_187lo.jpg) Age 21

Known as Judy Garland. :heart: :thumb:

AndrewCrossett
08-16-2010, 05:57 AM
Xena.

OK, sticking with real people. Most "historical figures" -- even the famously beautiful ones -- had pretty rotten personal hygiene up until about 150 years ago.

I'd say... Julie Newmar in the late 50's, Gabriela Sabatini in the early 90's, or Kristen Bell three weeks ago. Or three weeks from now. Any time is good, really.

Spiffy
08-16-2010, 05:59 AM
If I may answer for Spiffy:

For example it used to be that plump women were much more attractive than skinny or athletic women because it was a sign of affluence.

Also general health, diet, and hygiene have improved so a person we would see as a root from 100 years or more ago was quite likely the very specimin of beauty back then.
Those are both true, plus there have also been noticeable changes in how makeup is applied and I think probably some very different opinions on what kinds of facial features are optimal.

Makeup/facepaint/cosmetics whatever you want to call it has long existed, but if you look at those 18th and 19th century images it looked pretty different. Remember stuff like lead paint laced with Arsenic were used. This is kind of like the weight thing. In the same way it denoted high status to look plump, it also did to look like the sun never touched you, ever. And look how they use rouge in those old paintings (at least until the Victorians, when makeup fell out of favor entirely).

Infra-Man
08-16-2010, 06:05 AM
Probably Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly... or Cyd Charisse... and Catherine Deneuve... then I'd date Jean Seberg for a year... then Louise Brooks for a year... and then marry Natalie Wood.


And here's Louis CK's dirty little take on it... (very not safe for work language)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu9q4sM1vmc

Donald M.
08-16-2010, 06:15 AM
Gail Simone.

Hah, but seriously either Marilyn Monroe or Joan of Arc.

Joan of Arc would be more likely to sheathe her sword in you than the other way around.

Thequeerjock
08-16-2010, 06:16 AM
Joan of Arc would be more likely to sheathe her sword in you than the other way around.

Wasn't she super-religious?

And I'd love to go out with Oscar Wilde, and maybe try and get him to flee to France before that trial ruined his life.

Donald M.
08-16-2010, 06:18 AM
Wasn't she super-religious?

And I'd love to go out with Oscar Wilde, and maybe try and get him to flee to France before that trial ruined his life.

Yes, those who've named Saint typically were "super-religious" but she was also a warrior. She fought during the Hundred Years War and even led several major battles.

Donald M.
08-16-2010, 06:21 AM
To answer the question, I don't think I'd even like to meet any historical figures, let alone have sex with any. I'm quite happy with my illusions, thank you.

scout1279
08-16-2010, 06:37 AM
So "historical figures" includes all famous people of the past?



All the people I can think of that I'd want to have sex with were either gay or douchey.

Thequeerjock
08-16-2010, 06:43 AM
So "historical figures" includes all famous people of the past?



All the people I can think of that I'd want to have sex with were either gay or douchey.

You wanted to nail Liberace, didn't you?
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kv3enbloeT1qzxjsko1_500.jpg

jason hissong
08-16-2010, 06:50 AM
Queen Elizabeth I.

scout1279
08-16-2010, 06:52 AM
You wanted to nail Liberace, didn't you?
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kv3enbloeT1qzxjsko1_500.jpg
You caught me!

BTW, is that James Franco impersonating James Dean? He played James Dean in a TV movie years ago and was wonderful (especially considering how abysmal those movies usually are), so that's pretty funny.

James Dean was bi, so I guess I could say him, but as much as I love James Dean, I never really wanted to have sex with him. Mostly just give him a hug.

BriRedfern
08-16-2010, 06:54 AM
National Lampoon's Vacation era Christy Brinkley.

K-DoG7p7
08-16-2010, 06:56 AM
Eve

An i'm, not talking about the mythological Eve but "Mitochondrial Eve" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrial_Eve)

Granted she was probably powerfully ugly

Marcdachamp
08-16-2010, 07:52 AM
Marilyn Monroe. Audrey Hepburn's a good one too, though.

Ethan Van Sciver
08-16-2010, 08:11 AM
I'd go back to like 1980, when I was 6, and I'd nail Michael Jackson as a 6 year old.

ceebee_eebee
08-16-2010, 08:53 AM
I have ALWAYS had a crush on Ben Franklin. That dude was the ultimate BAMF and a total player.

Less historical? I'd want both William Shatner and Dianna Rigg in their prime.

Thequeerjock
08-16-2010, 08:57 AM
I have ALWAYS had a crush on Ben Franklin. That dude was the ultimate BAMF and a total player.

Less historical? I'd want both William Shatner and Dianna Rigg in their prime.

Ben Franklin? I'm sure he would have had more clap than........the audience at a Cohen Brothers film? Can't think of a good joke, but I imagine he'd be full of STDs.

K-DoG7p7
08-16-2010, 08:57 AM
I'd go back to like 1980, when I was 6, and I'd nail Michael Jackson as a 6 year old.

So you could spend the rest of you life like this?
http://www.sustainablesushi.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/money.jpg

Battle_Angel_Joe
08-16-2010, 09:04 AM
National Lampoon's Vacation era Christy Brinkley.

She's still hot.

adam_warlock_2099
08-16-2010, 09:04 AM
Bettie Page

BriRedfern
08-16-2010, 09:21 AM
She's still hot.

Yes she is. But that was her peak hotness. I was just the right age then, and she was my Up Town Girl.

Superior Kiai
08-16-2010, 09:23 AM
Helen of Troy.

Dream
08-16-2010, 10:16 AM
Bettie Page in her prime.
http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00101/Bettie_Page_101504t.jpg

ceebee_eebee
08-16-2010, 01:03 PM
Ben Franklin? I'm sure he would have had more clap than........the audience at a Cohen Brothers film? Can't think of a good joke, but I imagine he'd be full of STDs.

So I'd bring a box of condoms and a prescription for antibiotics. Come on, now. This is FANTASY.

Zeu
08-16-2010, 01:07 PM
Lucretia Borgia.

HamsterRage
08-16-2010, 01:07 PM
Anita Ekberg in her prime:

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/la-dolce-vita-anita-l.jpg

Corrina
08-16-2010, 01:11 PM
Ben Franklin? I'm sure he would have had more clap than........the audience at a Cohen Brothers film? Can't think of a good joke, but I imagine he'd be full of STDs.

That's the problem with historical figures. They didn't have good cleanliness standards. :)

Still,give Ben a shower and shampoo and he'd probably clean up nicely. Same with Elizabeth I.

Or, better yet, go back to the Romans. They were really into staying clean, at least.

Lester C.
08-16-2010, 01:22 PM
The woman that played Batgirl on the sixties show.

capntightpants
08-16-2010, 01:32 PM
Eve.

Reverend Smooth
08-16-2010, 01:50 PM
Lincoln.

Thequeerjock
08-16-2010, 01:55 PM
Lincoln.

It's those long legs, isn't it?

Reverend Smooth
08-16-2010, 06:17 PM
Yep. Totally.

WhiteRose
08-16-2010, 07:36 PM
Everyone's saying Audrey, but I would totally do Katherine Hepburn. My gods.

Also, Frida Kahlo. Woman was crazy. I love me a little crazy.

Corrina
08-16-2010, 07:46 PM
I'm thinking...Alexander the Great.

Dream big, I always say.

Though there are far more historical figures that I'd love to have a conversation with than have sex with.

Alfred the Great of England.
Eleanor of Aquitaine
William Marshall
Richard III
Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester
Of course, Elizabeth I
Theodore Roosevelt
Martin Luther King
Bobby Kennedy


Years ago, Steve Allen used to have a "Meeting of Minds" program on PBS. He'd gather historical figures from all sorts of periods and they'd have chat. :)

Cool show.

AthenAltena
08-16-2010, 07:51 PM
Bea Arthur.

Yeah, I went there.

And as a runner up young Eartha Kitt. Mrow.

bert
08-16-2010, 08:47 PM
Lincoln.

http://www.salon.com/books/review/2005/01/12/lincoln/story.jpg

bert
08-16-2010, 08:49 PM
The woman that played Batgirl on the sixties show.

Yvonne Craig?

she's still just as beautiful as ever:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_65wVG6Fngi0/SqRvO9RiFbI/AAAAAAAACJM/0_NYFmEeSZE/s400/batgirlYvonneCraig.png


http://www.jimnolt.com/Graphics/YvonneCraig_Dad-3.JPG

Spiffy
08-17-2010, 01:03 AM
And as a runner up young Eartha Kitt. Mrow.
See, this is why this topic confuses me. When I see the phrase "historical figure" I think of two things...

The main definition I think of is that its someone of great historical importance. Usually not living either--Kitt is deceased, but some of the other names given in this topic aren't. Well I suppose we could fudge and say someone like "Hillary Clinton" is a historical figure, even though she's alive, but I could see people coming down on either side of that issue.

Anyway, so all the actors, models, etc. seem to be kind of equating "historical" with "someone who used to be hot years ago". Seems like an easy out.