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View Full Version : So I read Scarlet #1- What the fuck was that?!



Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 12:17 PM
This is the worst G.I. Joe book I've ever read! EVER! It's almost as if Bendis has never read a G.I. Joe Comic or watched the cartoon at all and just doing his own thing!!

What the fuck was this?!


And half of it was furry porn. I was surprised with how well Maleev drew this though. I wonder who the model was for the Skunk man with the glass penis for a penis that peed Absolut Vodka at Scarlet, who became a gigantic Griffin halfway through for some reason.

And another thing, the product placement was awful and completely took me out of it. Scarlet took 5 pages to drink a bottle of Absolut Vodka and while the storytelling was mindblowing as she turned into a Griffin to a part Horse part Swordfish part Sloth person and the artwork went from painted trademark Maleev to New Yorker Editorial to children drawings to just these lines upon lines going down and up the page, it was completely unnecessary and uninspired, as I have found better critiques of commercialism and racism from Dan Schneider and Sir Lee Aronsohn.

But I am in it for the long haul. I want to know if she gets her dry cleaning back.


Overall 20/10!

AndrewG
07-07-2010, 12:21 PM
You are awesome

Stupendous Man
07-07-2010, 12:29 PM
:lol:

JasonWGBB007
07-07-2010, 12:32 PM
This is fantastic

Doug
07-07-2010, 12:32 PM
Snakeyes is just some dude from Portland, and not a ninja. And he talks through out the entire issue. And not normal talk, Bendis Talky-Talk.

And his name wasn't even Snakeyes.

AlienKeyes
07-07-2010, 12:34 PM
teehee

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 12:34 PM
Snakeyes is just some dude from Portland, and not a ninja. And he talks through out the entire issue. And not normal talk, Bendis Talky-Talk.

And his name wasn't even Snakeyes.

It was complete bullshit and insulting the source material! But god dammit I respect him! That's what art is suppose to do !!

JHester
07-07-2010, 12:37 PM
I love this thread.

Ray G.
07-07-2010, 12:42 PM
Today, you are a man.

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 01:16 PM
Today, you are a man.

What about all the other days you have said that!!! Were those just lies!!!?!?!

Ryan Elliott
07-07-2010, 01:20 PM
What about all the other days you have said that!!! We're those just lies!!!?!?!


No, it's just tomorrow you'll be a woman again.

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 01:38 PM
And she had blue hair!!!

Howlett
07-07-2010, 01:41 PM
Okay, I'll admit it. That was fucking funny.

Gordon Chumway
07-07-2010, 01:56 PM
Now that Parker1600 has been banned, Sasha is back as our number one retard.

That being said, this thread is fantastic.:)

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 01:58 PM
Now that Parker1600 has been banned, Sasha is back as our number one retard.

That being said, this thread is fantastic.:)

Hey now. That's a little mean.

TIP
07-07-2010, 01:59 PM
:lol:

Gordon Chumway
07-07-2010, 02:00 PM
Hey now. That's a little mean.

:rofl: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, "mentally challenged".

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 02:02 PM
:rofl: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, "mentally challenged".

That's better.

allanpat
07-07-2010, 02:06 PM
This thread is like reading the Powers letter column in real time

BENDIS!
07-07-2010, 02:45 PM
grrrr... :)

leafinsectman
07-07-2010, 02:53 PM
Bravo *slow clap*

Mylazycat
07-07-2010, 02:56 PM
This is an awesome thread. Well done, Sasha!

Superior Kiai
07-07-2010, 02:59 PM
grrrr... :)

Can I go back to reading Final Crisis then??

Lineofdeath2
07-07-2010, 03:42 PM
This makes the book sound even more interesting.

R0cketFr0g
07-07-2010, 03:54 PM
Snakeyes is just some dude from Portland, and not a ninja. And he talks through out the entire issue. And not normal talk, Bendis Talky-Talk.

And his name wasn't even Snakeyes.

Snakeyes sounds like a guy who wears glasses made from Doritos.

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 04:28 PM
And the backmatter were just these blueprints for some machine to fight mosquito bites and herpes that's fueled with BBQ sauce and Dr. Pepper.

But the thing was it was just this chair.

Mylazycat
07-07-2010, 04:30 PM
I do wonder if she'll ever get her dry cleaning back.

Dark Sasha
07-07-2010, 04:34 PM
I do wonder if she'll ever get her dry cleaning back.

Well that goblin got the receipt.

Magnum V.I.
07-07-2010, 05:03 PM
This is awesome. I'm glad i thought of it first.

Zeppe
07-07-2010, 05:21 PM
Personally I'm waiting for Bendis' Lady Jaye, with art by Frank Cho. She always was a little sluttier than Scarlet.

Jim T.
07-07-2010, 05:44 PM
Possibly the best first line in a post ever :)

Elven Johnny
07-07-2010, 06:06 PM
The real question here is will Scarlet and Snake Eyes get together in this version.

Oh and more importantly, Cover Girl. If Cover Girl is a blonde instead of a redhead, I will be very disappointed.

Long live the redheads!

SMACK!
07-07-2010, 06:09 PM
Sasha just impressed the shit outta me. Bravo.

Zeppe
07-09-2010, 04:31 AM
The real question here is will Scarlet and Snake Eyes get together in this version.

Oh and more importantly, Cover Girl. If Cover Girl is a blonde instead of a redhead, I will be very disappointed.

Long live the redheads!

COVER GIRL! That's who I was thinking of!

I still think he needs to get Frank Cho on art with Roadblock sex scene. Then there will be the "Back Door or not Back Door" questions. Then somebody will say, "It's Cover Girl. Of COURSE back door!"

Alex(sadly)Maleev
07-09-2010, 04:39 AM
Whore.

Greygor
07-09-2010, 04:48 AM
The real question here is will Scarlet and Snake Eyes get together in this version.

Oh and more importantly, Cover Girl. If Cover Girl is a blonde instead of a redhead, I will be very disappointed.

Long live the redheads!

Prompted by the NCIS thread, one of the seasons (5?) they had an episode where many of the characters where named after GI Joe characters.

Here's the actress who played FBI Special Agent Courtney Krieger (Cover Girl)

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090514021941/gijoe/images/4/48/NCIS_Cover_Girl.jpg

Dark Sasha
07-09-2010, 06:18 AM
Whore.

Me or the book?

Alex(sadly)Maleev
07-09-2010, 06:31 AM
Prompted by the NCIS thread, one of the seasons (5?) they had an episode where many of the characters where named after GI Joe characters.

Here's the actress who played FBI Special Agent Courtney Krieger (Cover Girl)

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090514021941/gijoe/images/4/48/NCIS_Cover_Girl.jpg

Whore.

Greygor
07-09-2010, 06:34 AM
Whore.

worse still she's definitely out of my price range :cry:

Slewo.O
07-09-2010, 06:36 AM
Whore.

Maleev's memory of words has been reduced to one due to his blind rage! Everybody run!

Mylazycat
07-09-2010, 06:37 AM
Who the fuck is Alice?

Greygor
07-09-2010, 06:44 AM
Maleev's memory of words has been reduced to one due to his blind rage! Everybody run!

It's a very short step to

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach%3Battach=2920%3Btype=ava tar

danlomb
07-10-2010, 06:37 PM
Tremendous posting.

I AM GROOT!
07-10-2010, 08:11 PM
Sasha is on a roll today.

Now I'm just waiting for pigs to fly and the sky to turn purple.