The "I Hate My Roomate!" Thread

[afroloq]

Well if you have landlord thread...surely you have a room mate from hell...

get to it!

[The Funketeer]

In college, my roommate of 1.5 years moved back home after breaking up with his girlfriend of many years. I held the room on my own for a little while but then finally someone discovered I had an empty bed and they put a wannabe hippie in with me. It wasn't too bad since he went home for the weekend most weeks but he was a pot head and a smoker (I partake of neither) and would come home drunk if he was home for the weekend. I'm a wuss and never drink and was usually in bed when he would get home.

One time, after coming home drunk and passing out on his bed, he woke up around 3 or 4 in the morning, walked over by the sink which was between our beds and started pissing on the floor. I threw something at him, he turned around, scowled at me, and then went back to pissing on the floor. I threw something at him again, he turned around and shouted "what!?" I told him he was pissing on the floor. He waits a second, kicks one of his shoes in front of him and starts pissing in his shoe. I get him to stop again and he argues with me saying "I can piss in my shoe if I want to" or something like that. I suggest he use the bathroom which is 5 feet away, he thinks for a moment, says "oh," and then goes in there to finish his business.

Not being one to clean up other people's piss, I leave the puddle on the floor by his bed and tell him about it in the morning. He didn't remember a thing and was pretty embarrassed and apologetic

[Kurt Russell Crowe]

Jesus Christ you are a saint man I would have kicked the fucker in his teeth and let him sleep it off face down in his bloody piss pool.

[The Crushtacean]

But I like my roommate!

[SAVETHEB]

first night in the dorms. im laying on my stomach and i wake up at about 3 am. i look up and my roommate is standing right over me. i scream like i've never screamed befoe.

[silverboy]

Wow this thread could not have arrived at a better time.

My roommate:
Owes me $400 for security deposit and utility bills and hasn't paid me a dollar in the four months we've lived here.
Continually lies to me about when and from where I will get this money.
Says she's attending college, even though we've found out she's not.
Doesn't have a job.
Doesn't have a car.
Has been short on her rent twice and the landlord's threatened to evict us.
Never pitches in for any household expenses.
Sleeps, eats, drinks and watches TV all day.
We have to break her back to get her to wash her dishes.
Keeps me up all night when I have to work in the morning with her drunken sex antics.
Lets her fuck-toys basically live with us.

...and yet she's wondering why I'm kicking her out. We literally had a huge fight about it tonight. Some fucking people.

[S. Earl]

his gf sounds like Fran Dreischer turned up to 11.

Nuff said.

[WinterRose]

The worst roomie story I have is while I was in seattle. I met the good roomie by means of an ad in the paper. The bad roomie was a friend of his from the east coast who was coming to stay with us for a while.

A while turned into living with us and being unemployed in front of his playstation and nintendo 64 playing GoldenEye. Then he brings in his girlfriend and newborn infant. They're all sleeping in the living room, having loud sex (she was a screamer) and making outrageous demands like asking me to knock before I come into my own living room. (You kinda had to come through there to get to the kitchen and the bathroom.) "Tell ya what, cochise. You pay some rent and you get to make stupid demands like that." I told him.

Then he starts cheating on his girl and kid with a 16 year old girl down the way. 'The Munchie" I called her since she was letting him suck her blood. This is one of the vampire roomies I had, mind you. The last straw was broken when he abandoned the girlfriend and child for the munchie, whom he tried to elope with. He also took MY rent money that month. The cops were called for theft and kidnapping, as well as statutory rape.

The good roomie tells me that he'd got a message from bad roomie later. Bad roomie apparently made a threat to come and do my computer much harm, and wait for me in the street. I am a nonviolent person. And this is what I said.

"I've never lied to you. Given that this is a big city, I carry a can of pepper spray in my coat wherever I go. If he wants to do this, you tell him that if he comes at me, I will spray him. Kick him in the gonads, then empty the entire can in his face. (5 years before Kill Bill, mind you.) I will then come home and call both the cops, and an ambulance for him before I get my aluminum bat and return to where I left him on the pavement. I will then PULP his hands and feet, then disfigure his face with an exacto knife. No one will fuck him ever again. He won't even be able to jack off when I'm done with him. He'll never play a videogame again. Much less type. He'll need crutches or a wheelchair, even though he has perfectly good legs. He will be good for no thing. I will ruin him and laugh at him from prison. Now look in my eyes. Am I telling you the truth?"

Good Roomie: @_@;;;... "Yeah. I think so."

Me: "Good. You tell him that. Cos I mean every word."

It scares me that I did mean every word. Happily, I never saw the man again. And good riddance to bad rubbish.

[Kirblar]

Wow this thread could not have arrived at a better time.

My roommate:
Owes me $400 for security deposit and utility bills and hasn't paid me a dollar in the four months we've lived here.
Continually lies to me about when and from where I will get this money.
Says she's attending college, even though we've found out she's not.
Doesn't have a job.
Doesn't have a car.
Has been short on her rent twice and the landlord's threatened to evict us.
Never pitches in for any household expenses.
Sleeps, eats, drinks and watches TV all day.
We have to break her back to get her to wash her dishes.
Keeps me up all night when I have to work in the morning with her drunken sex antics.
Lets her fuck-toys basically live with us.

...and yet she's wondering why I'm kicking her out. We literally had a huge fight about it tonight. Some fucking people.
Which drug(s) is she on?

[Darthdaw37]

I miss having living on my own and having roommates, but none of my bad roomies were ever this Bad.

[joshdahl]

These threads are even better than "crazy customer" threads.

Ok, I had this roommate once. He was a good friend of my other roommate. He had just suffered a tragedy and his buddy was helping him out by offering him a place to "re-start".

He was nice enough, and had rent money...so, ok.

He kept his room in a laughably disasterous state.
When he eventually moved out and we cleaned it out.....we found an actual bag of literal garbage....empty can and papers...garbage.... tied up and tucked away in his attic storage space!
And there were parts of McDonalds burgers up there..

But all that was after he left. When he was there, he would monopolize and destroy the kitchen.
He worked as a cook in an upscale place, so he had a very cavalier attitude toward food storage. He would open things and leave them out. Because, if it starts to go bad...well...you can make a sauce or something!

Giving no consideration to the fact that the rest of us do not want sauces fermenting on our counters.

There was once a tray of what might have been rotting pig parts sitting in our fridge for a few months.

If my girl and I bought groceries....they would go bad before we could use them because to even make toast would require cleaning the entire kitchen....and the fridge was a frightening terror-zone.

He knew we had an ant problem and took NO precautions about leaving food out. He left a huge bottle of honey OPEN! the thing was clogged with sticky ant corpses!

Also, my girlfriend would usually keep a small amount of....shall we say...tea... in her cosmetics bag. Which she packed and organized in a specific way. She found that this specific order was frequently disturbed.

One day i stayed home from work and slept late. At a time when everyone should have been gone, he quietly poked his head into my room...and claimed he was just wanting a little air conditioning!

So, how much of our stuff did he search through before he came upon the "tea" in her cosmetics bag?

And then when he did move out....he just snuck away and gradually stopped staying there.

[Evan the Shaggy]

I have a couple stories:

So before college started, they sent everyone sheets that had "list your interests and characteristics" that they "used" to determine your roommate. This was bullshit and I think they just flung them out the window. My freshman year roommate was a hardcore republican/army junkie, which wouldn't have been so bad, had he not had 30 different kinds of knives in the room at all times and yell about how the "ragheads need to die". Also, one time we were watching Requiem for a Dream and he jerked off underneath his blankets to the final scene while there were three other people in the room. Yikes.

After college, I needed to live with people I didn't know before moving in with some friends into an apartment. Most of the people were nice and I got along with, except for Dudeman. He was dubbed Dudeman from the get go, it just seemed like the right name for him. Dudeman was a mechanic and he was a very dirty man, really smart as a mechanic but dumb in every other sense. One day I come back from work and find Dudeman drinking my milk straight from the gallon, covered in oil slick. It was disgusting and I can only imagine how long he had actually been doing that shit.

[19bernardo87]

I have a new roommate now that my old one got married... had never met the guy before. My only problem with him is that he won't throw shit away.

There is 4 month year old bread in the living room.
Empty bottles of Shampoo and empty boxes of soap in our shower... tons.
Old take-out food in our fridge.
Empty bottles and cans of beer everywhere.

Other than that, he is just not very smart... kinda of a slow guy, but that really doesn't matter to me. It's just that my past roommate was a bit of a genius.

[Arion]

I have a new roommate now that my old one got married... had never met the guy before. My only problem with him is that he won't throw shit away.

There is 4 month year old bread in the living room.
Empty bottles of Shampoo and empty boxes of soap in our shower... tons.
Old take-out food in our fridge.
Empty bottles and cans of beer everywhere.

Other than that, he is just not very smart... kinda of a slow guy, but that really doesn't matter to me. It's just that my past roommate was a bit of a genius.

Do you think he would get mad if you just throw all that into the garbage ?

[Thomas Mauer]

Do you think he would get mad if you just throw all that into the garbage ?

Sets a bad precedent. Bernardo would be his house maid for life.

[19bernardo87]

Sets a bad precedent. Bernardo would be his house maid for life.

Yea.

I'm trying to think of passive-aggressive ways to bring his attention to it though.

[Kedd]

I have had 2 bad roommates in my life. One was sophomore year of college and it was a guy I knew during freshman year (he stayed on the same floor as me and we hung out a lot) when we got into the apartment he turned into a complete asshole. never went in on groceries, always kept me up at night with his loud tv and never paid his half of the security deposit (which I covered initially) I moved out of that place during first semester of and cut off all the utilities in my name before I left. I also told the apartment manager that I was moving out and that they could freely toss anything left in the apartment after December 1st. I did not tell my roommate any of this and found out through mutual friends that he didn't know why "we" had been "kicked" out of the apartment. The second bad roommate was a guy I knew in high school but didn't room with until after I was out of college. He was still in college at the time and i was working as a waiter. the first 2 months were cool but it would down hill from there. This is a guy that spent his rent and bill money weed and would then call his parents begging for cash (which would play into why this roommate situation went sour). I hooked him up with a job at the restaurant where I was working and he got fired within 2 weeks. We both started worked a night job at a warehouse and he got us both fired. He was constantly asking to borrow money. And on more than one occasion (when he knew what was happenig) he would barge into my room (the one without the working lock) while I was with a female and just start talking about random shit no matter what state of undress she and I were in. The quencher came when he was on the phone with his mom one night and told me she wanted to talk to me. As it turned out, he had been telling his parents (Whom I had known since 10th grade) I wasn't paying my share of the bills in order to convince them to send him more money "(for at least a few months). I had to actually send his mom copies of receipts/canceled from all the bills and rent I had paid over the course of about 10 months in order for her to understand that her son was a pot head loser drop out that was fleecing them for money. The guy was one of my best friends in high school and now I don't even use his nameoutloud. I refer to him as "That bitch ass nigga" when other people that know us both bring him up in conversation. I've never harbored ill will against anyone, but based on that dude's willingness to lie about my character and integrity I swear that if I ever see him again I will go across his jaw without a moment's hesitation.

[Jonathan Callan]

In college, my roommate of 1.5 years moved back home after breaking up with his girlfriend of many years. I held the room on my own for a little while but then finally someone discovered I had an empty bed and they put a wannabe hippie in with me. It wasn't too bad since he went home for the weekend most weeks but he was a pot head and a smoker (I partake of neither) and would come home drunk if he was home for the weekend. I'm a wuss and never drink and was usually in bed when he would get home.

One time, after coming home drunk and passing out on his bed, he woke up around 3 or 4 in the morning, walked over by the sink which was between our beds and started pissing on the floor. I threw something at him, he turned around, scowled at me, and then went back to pissing on the floor. I threw something at him again, he turned around and shouted "what!?" I told him he was pissing on the floor. He waits a second, kicks one of his shoes in front of him and starts pissing in his shoe. I get him to stop again and he argues with me saying "I can piss in my shoe if I want to" or something like that. I suggest he use the bathroom which is 5 feet away, he thinks for a moment, says "oh," and then goes in there to finish his business.

Not being one to clean up other people's piss, I leave the puddle on the floor by his bed and tell him about it in the morning. He didn't remember a thing and was pretty embarrassed and apologetic


Jesus Christ you are a saint man I would have kicked the fucker in his teeth and let him sleep it off face down in his bloody piss pool.

Nah, that exact exchange happened between two good friends of mine in college. Except my one friend was pissing into my other friends clothes. These things happen.

[Thomas Mauer]

Yea.

I'm trying to think of passive-aggressive ways to bring his attention to it though.

Fuck that. Confront him again and again. Either he cleans up his shit (win) or he'll get so fed up he'll move out (win). Passive-aggressive tactics will just give you more anger issues when they don't work out.

[Jew Mafia]

I once had a roommate who's last name was Stalker. After we had kicked her out, she threatened via an email message to have a hit put out on me after I busted her cheating on her bf (who also lived at the house)

:lol:

[Gunter]

I had a bad roommate when I was in Korea. He started off giving away my beer to his friends. He did that until I put a lock on the mini fridge. Then his last night in Korea he got really trashed and crawled under my bed to puke.

He left without cleaning it up.

Other than that the only other bad roommate I had was my ex wife.

[19bernardo87]

My roommate clogged the toilet yesterday for the 3rd time, and for the 3rd time he decided not to fix it until he had to use it again the next day...

[silverboy]

Wow this thread could not have arrived at a better time.

My roommate:
Owes me $400 for security deposit and utility bills and hasn't paid me a dollar in the four months we've lived here.
Continually lies to me about when and from where I will get this money.
Says she's attending college, even though we've found out she's not.
Doesn't have a job.
Doesn't have a car.
Has been short on her rent twice and the landlord's threatened to evict us.
Never pitches in for any household expenses.
Sleeps, eats, drinks and watches TV all day.
We have to break her back to get her to wash her dishes.
Keeps me up all night when I have to work in the morning with her drunken sex antics.
Lets her fuck-toys basically live with us.

...and yet she's wondering why I'm kicking her out. We literally had a huge fight about it tonight. Some fucking people.

Good news: she's out January 1. Just need somebody to take her room now.

[Arion]

Sets a bad precedent. Bernardo would be his house maid for life.

You're totally right. This kind of situations are really difficult ...