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DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:02 PM
Criden is a personal chef to a major Hollywood celebrity.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:04 PM
AMERICA DAVE has mild dyslexia that only manifests itself when typing in subject names on the Bendis Board.

mike black
10-19-2009, 04:08 PM
Word is, WillieLee strangles a kitten every morning to deaden his emotions.

Matthew Brown
10-19-2009, 04:11 PM
America Dave is an illegal Ay-rab.

Your Pal, Carl
10-19-2009, 04:11 PM
AMERICA DAVE has mild dyslexia that only manifests itself when typing in subject names on the Bendis Board.

Pretty sure this one's true.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:13 PM
Your Pal, Carl actually hates all of his close "friends".

SgtPepper
10-19-2009, 04:13 PM
TIP once sang back up for the Mothers of Invention.

NATE!
10-19-2009, 04:13 PM
Ashwin furthers Middle East nuclear proliferation in his basement.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:14 PM
Ashwin's home has more than one level.

Jef UK
10-19-2009, 04:20 PM
Krutch is Brother Captain Race with a new account.

Matthew Brown
10-19-2009, 04:20 PM
Magnum V.I. was removed from the force for being dirty. He didn't accept bribes, he just didn't bathe and smelled really bad.

Now he plays by his own rules.

One being No Soap.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:21 PM
Jef UK's first name is actually spelled with three "f"'s.

Ryan Elliott
10-19-2009, 04:22 PM
I heard that Magnum V.I. eats green salsa.

I don't know if it's true or not, but it's pretty fucking creepy if you ask me.

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 04:23 PM
I heard that [boarder] does [something outlandish that they don't actually partake in].

I know!

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 04:24 PM
Jef UK's first name is actually spelled with three "f"'s.

So an "f" for every man he's killed?

Jef UK
10-19-2009, 04:24 PM
Albert lives through time backwards.

Ryan Elliott
10-19-2009, 04:24 PM
I heard Todd doesn't really wear sweater vests. He photoshops them in later to appear trendy to us.

He actually wears who farted t-shirts and really short jean shorts.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 04:25 PM
So an "f" for every man he's killed?

That would be Jeffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffff.

Marc Lombardi
10-19-2009, 04:28 PM
Todd is actually straight and has horrible taste in music and clothes.

Buk Was Right
10-19-2009, 04:30 PM
Todd is actually straight and has horrible taste in music and clothes.

This one is 2/3 accurate.

:lol:

EdNEMO
10-19-2009, 04:31 PM
AndrewG is actually a large talking raccoon named Harold.

Jef UK
10-19-2009, 04:31 PM
Das actually loves Nightcrawler more than Wolverine. Hence the 3 dicks.

Marc Lombardi
10-19-2009, 04:32 PM
This one is 2/3 accurate.

:lol:
As are most urban legends.

Briomega
10-19-2009, 04:34 PM
Legend has it that on a Full Moon a Ginger Sasquatch roams around Colorado.

CapnChaos
10-19-2009, 04:37 PM
Between them both, at least one of the Baraneks has had an erection at any point over the last 8 years.

The Doctor
10-19-2009, 04:40 PM
AndrewG is actually a large talking raccoon named Harold.

I knew it!

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 04:44 PM
I heard Todd doesn't really wear sweater vests. He photoshops them in later to appear trendy to us.

He actually wears who farted t-shirts and really short jean shorts.

I do it so Bendis will like me.


Todd is actually straight and has horrible taste in music and clothes.

I do it for the vagay.


This one is 2/3 accurate.

:lol:

I want to type "buk was right is wrong about everything," but this is an urban legends thread.

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 04:45 PM
The neck stubble that I remember vaguely from a pic of Ryan Elliot that was posted on this site was actually pubes...but not his.

TIP
10-19-2009, 04:46 PM
who cares? really DID :heart: Foghat.

LordKinbote
10-19-2009, 04:46 PM
Boris the Blade is his own grandfather. He's been stealing his own social security checks for years.

SgtPepper
10-19-2009, 04:50 PM
I do it so Bendis will like me.



I do it for the vagay.



I want to type "buk was right is wrong about everything," but this is an urban legends thread.

I just assumed those shorts were because you were a never-nude.

The Zevad
10-19-2009, 04:52 PM
Tip used to sublet my 'stache.

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 04:53 PM
I just assumed those shorts were because you were a never-nude.

I don't look like David Cross, dick!

Someone get me a straight razor. I'm going to hate myself in a corner for a while.

The Zevad
10-19-2009, 04:55 PM
I don't look like David Cross, dick!

Someone get me a straight razor. I'm going to hate myself in a corner for a while.

Dude?

SgtPepper
10-19-2009, 05:00 PM
I don't look like David Cross, dick!

Someone get me a straight razor. I'm going to hate myself in a corner for a while.

I didn't mean to imply you looked like him. I have heard there are dozens of never-nudes though.

Magnum V.I.
10-19-2009, 05:08 PM
Legend has it several posters on this board will die a violent Ginger death! :mad:

jamestolliver
10-19-2009, 05:08 PM
I just assumed those shorts were because you were a never-nude.

:rofl:

CapnChaos
10-19-2009, 05:09 PM
I didn't mean to imply you looked like him. I have heard there are dozens of never-nudes though.

There's a convention and everything!

Ben
10-19-2009, 05:10 PM
When you're in your hotel room during the San Diego Comic-Con, if you listen really carefully, you can still hear Albert barfing in the sink.

The Zevad
10-19-2009, 05:11 PM
Legend has it several posters on this board will die a violent Ginger death! :mad:

This will not end well.

Village Idiot is a ginger. He self hates.

Briomega
10-19-2009, 05:14 PM
Legend has it several posters on this board will die a violent Ginger death! :mad:

Oh shit, is it a full moon out already?

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 05:20 PM
Dude?


I didn't mean to imply you looked like him. I have heard there are dozens of never-nudes though.

Jokes are fun (I was hearkening back to a comment you made on Facebook. I thought it was funny...but then, I laugh at lolcat pics).

Matthew Brown
10-19-2009, 05:28 PM
Oh shit, is it a full moon out already?

Hide your man flower!

... And mine!

SgtPepper
10-19-2009, 05:33 PM
Jokes are fun (I was hearkening back to a comment you made on Facebook. I thought it was funny...but then, I laugh at lolcat pics).

Oh yeah, I'd almost forgotten about that.

DAVE
10-19-2009, 05:34 PM
SgtPepper2788 is actually an officer in the military. 2789 is just a college kid, though.

Briomega
10-19-2009, 05:36 PM
I heard SgtPepper fragged his commanding officer Colonel Mustard in the library with a lead pipe.

SgtPepper
10-19-2009, 05:38 PM
SgtPepper2788 is actually an officer in the military. 2789 is just a college kid, though.
:lol:


I heard SgtPepper fragged his commanding officer Colonel Mustard in the library with a lead pipe.

It was a silver hammer!

AMERICA DAVE worked as Mr. Met for the 2000 season.

Magnum V.I.
10-19-2009, 05:41 PM
America Dave is secretly in love with Chipper Jones and plans to name his first child Chipper.


thatguyfromsyracuse has a hot mom. And I did her.

Raphael J
10-19-2009, 05:54 PM
Juggernaut didn't actually have a sensei, or any of that other bullshit really. He's just a crazy janitor working in Brooklyn's PS 214. He was last seen in a Barnes and Noble, screaming about how chaos magicks were stealing his life force. Before police could arrive and escort him out of the building, his brain melted away through a green light like in Batman Forever.

Masculine Todd
10-19-2009, 05:58 PM
Adrian's real last name isn't "Awesome."

Marc Lombardi
10-19-2009, 06:07 PM
Winston Wolf was actually Mark Millar.

The Zevad
10-19-2009, 06:18 PM
Winston Wolf was actually Miken Ayers like I said. And Bill, Miken, Criden, Len Wallace, and myself alternated as Tony Soloman.

Ashwin Pande
10-19-2009, 06:18 PM
AALgar recorded a song entitled "Why does it burn when TIP pees?" but wasn't able to release it because a time traveling Jabsen from the future told him other people hearing it would make the universe collapse.

Rumor has it though that future-Jabsen was actually FuturisticPlans in a giant bee costume carrying a portable strobe light.

GelfXIII
10-19-2009, 06:24 PM
American Dave learned just enough Karate to try to break a cinder block with his head.


Now he drools a lot and occasionally laughs out of context. But that cinder block KNOWS it was in a fight!

Shepherd
10-19-2009, 06:49 PM
Shepherd isn't actually a Shepherd. It's just his last name.

R

Ryan Elliott
10-19-2009, 07:44 PM
The neck stubble that I remember vaguely from a pic of Ryan Elliot that was posted on this site was actually pubes...but not his.


Touche homo. Touche.

Ryan Elliott
10-19-2009, 07:45 PM
Khrutch really is who he says he is, except he moonlights as a gay prostitute.

Oh, and boys? Quadruple penetration is free. But it's not for him.

Brian Defferding
10-19-2009, 08:08 PM
If you write Rudy Guiliani enough in a single thread, DS9 will come back from the dead to rid the world of all the Rudy Guilianis.

Pat Loika
10-19-2009, 08:11 PM
There are three Brian Defferdings.

Nick Spencer
10-19-2009, 08:12 PM
Nick Spencer is not a real person.

Magnum V.I.
10-19-2009, 08:15 PM
Raydawggie is in fact, a Disney princess.

Len Snark
10-19-2009, 08:33 PM
Joe Kalicki submits art to "Super Friends" comic books.

Magnum V.I.
10-19-2009, 08:36 PM
Len Snark is in fact a Penis destroyer.

GelfXIII
10-19-2009, 09:18 PM
Magnum V.I. shaved his mustache, but hides it by drinking a lot of milk.

Len Snark
10-19-2009, 09:21 PM
Magnum V.I. is not, in fact, a ginger. He just likes telling people that he is to get the sympathy.

Ryan Elliott
10-19-2009, 09:23 PM
Len Snark isn't really snarky. In fact, he's rather pleasant. And smells of lemons.

Treacle
10-19-2009, 09:30 PM
Adrian's real last name isn't "Awesome."

Todd is much less radical than he appears.

Boris the Blade
10-19-2009, 09:36 PM
Boris the Blade is his own grandfather. He's been stealing his own social security checks for years.
That's funny, I'm named after him, so I could probably have pulled it off.

Shepherd
10-19-2009, 09:59 PM
Bendis is not, in fact, a real person, but a team of writers working together. For public appearances, actor Evan Handler was hired for the role.

R

DAVE
10-19-2009, 10:39 PM
morlock with a day pass does not have a day pass.

King of Mars
10-19-2009, 10:43 PM
Bendis does not, in fact, walk around all day screaming, "I'm King of Fuck Mountain!" But he should!

The Count
10-19-2009, 11:21 PM
America Dave actually hates limes. He prefers papaya and only promotes limes for popularity reasons.

Pat Loika and The Todd have never been seen together. Make of that what you will.

King of Mars is not in fact Red Foxx. The picture is a decoy. He is Grady.

Brian Defferding once fought Internet Jesus. The resulting battle destroyed reality as we know it, making us figments of their collective imagination.

TIP
10-20-2009, 03:38 AM
Vicar in a Tutu is not strange. He just wants to live his life that way.

Deej
10-20-2009, 03:55 AM
Sasha (Dr Catclops!) is quite the cocksman...in Canada! The Bendis Board is just his first phase approach to crossing the US borders and getting some "foreign" action.

mario
10-20-2009, 04:06 AM
Pat Loika is a collection of underpaid illegal immigrants from Central America.

Marc Lombardi
10-20-2009, 04:59 AM
Raydawggie is in fact, a Disney princess.
But Mulan still isn't.

thatguyfromsyracuse
10-20-2009, 05:09 AM
TheTravis! used to be the leader of a death squad for a Mexican drug cartel.

Evan the Shaggy
10-20-2009, 05:12 AM
Evan the Shaggy is actually a number of monkeys in a room with keyboards, somehow communicating with the outside world through a comic book message board. Eeek Eeek.

thatguyfromsyracuse
10-20-2009, 05:15 AM
Evan the Shaggy has never once called and left me a drunken voicemail.

Evan the Shaggy
10-20-2009, 05:28 AM
Evan the Shaggy has never once called and left me a drunken voicemail.

Everytime Evan the Shaggy calls Thatguyfromsyracuse he picks up the phone, hence no voicemails. Remember that one time?

leviathan
10-20-2009, 05:28 AM
But Mulan still isn't.

:rofl:

Ashwin is not really Indian. He just pretends he is to qualify for all the outsourced jobs.

Dan
10-20-2009, 05:31 AM
If you say Denny's name 3 times into your bathroom mirror, you'll be banned here within 24 hours.

thatguyfromsyracuse
10-20-2009, 05:39 AM
Magnum V.I. is the best private detective in the world.

Rafiennes
10-20-2009, 05:49 AM
Ryan A. Elliot is a huge Ryan Adams AND Henry Thomas fan

Roman Noodles
10-20-2009, 08:01 AM
This one is 2/3 accurate.

:lol:

:rofl:


Legend has it that on a Full Moon a Ginger Sasquatch roams around Colorado.

:lol:

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 08:05 AM
Treacle is a sentient corset.

Dan
10-20-2009, 08:08 AM
NickT is rumored to going on a tickling spree every Halloween night on a college campus with a building shaped like a cursive Q.

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 08:10 AM
Roman is actually a semi-evolved wolf.

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 08:11 AM
Shadowline Pimp was beaten by actual pimps and learned humility on that day.

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 08:12 AM
My real name is Ron Watt.

Roman Noodles
10-20-2009, 08:13 AM
Roman is actually a semi-evolved wolf.

You know, this probably would not surprise me. :lol:

TIP
10-20-2009, 08:16 AM
Kelemanga is actually my Transatlantic broodling spawned by an ill-advised coupling with a Bizarro Gav.

Roman Noodles
10-20-2009, 08:17 AM
Sgtpepper's name is really derived from his love of store-brand Dr. Pepper beverages.

Alexander Hamilton
10-20-2009, 08:19 AM
Donal Delay is actually professional boxer, Butterbean.

Criden
10-20-2009, 08:19 AM
Sgtpepper's name is really derived from his love of store-brand Dr. Pepper beverages.

Ha!

Gregory
10-20-2009, 08:20 AM
Never have I been so disappointed after a vanity search.

TIP
10-20-2009, 08:25 AM
Donal Delay is actually professional boxer, Butterbean.

And his eggs actually took 2 hours and 45 minutes to prepare.

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 08:26 AM
Gregory has, in fact, been more disappointed after a vanity search in the past.

costello
10-20-2009, 08:29 AM
The Bendis Boarders all met up in Chicago and had a big-ass orgy. Two guys were fighting over the same girl--actually it was the only girl. Lots of bare chest slapping ensued. The board split between two factions--those who followed the blond guy and those who followed the ginger. The ginger and his crew started peeing in the blond crew's butts, and people complained so much the internet broke in half. No more message boards. Everybody was bummed. Then, next year in Chicago, the blonds and gingers made a cake in the shape of a large dick. Bendis was pleased, so he taped the world back together.

Alexander Hamilton
10-20-2009, 08:32 AM
The Bendis Boarders all met up in Chicago and had a big-ass orgy. Two guys were fighting over the same girl--actually it was the only girl. Lots of bare chest slapping ensued. The board split between two factions--those who followed the blond guy and those who followed the ginger. The ginger and his crew started peeing in the blond crew's butts, and people complained so much the internet broke in half. No more message boards. Everybody was bummed. Then, next year in Chicago, the blonds and gingers made a cake in the shape of a large dick. Bendis was pleased, so he taped the world back together.

That's the most beautiful tale I've ever heard. I hope this is more than a legend. :tearingup:

Ashwin Pande
10-20-2009, 08:35 AM
Ashwin is never not drunk while posting.

Alexander Hamilton
10-20-2009, 08:38 AM
Ashwin is never not drunk while posting.

I thought Urban Legends were suppose to be speculation and not well known fact?

PeterSparker
10-20-2009, 09:20 AM
NattyP actually died 4 years ago while ingesting Pop Rocks and a can of RC Cola.

When a Time Warner tech was sent out to find out why there were still posts coming from his IP address, he found the fiber optic line that ran along the cemetary grounds had been accidentally routed right through Nat's grave!!!

EdNEMO
10-20-2009, 09:21 AM
Never have I been so disappointed after a vanity search.

I agree. The rest of the board hates us.

Doug
10-20-2009, 09:57 AM
AMERICA DAVE is actually Mexican.

PeterSparker is a huge Nationals fan.

Taxman does not actually work for H&R Block.

Ryan Elliott
10-20-2009, 10:05 AM
Ryan A. Elliot is a huge Ryan Adams AND Henry Thomas fan


:scared:

Rafiennes
10-20-2009, 10:07 AM
EdNEMO actually owns a sub called The Frazetta

Roman Noodles
10-20-2009, 10:08 AM
Rafiennes, really more a Joseph Fiennes kinda guy.

Len Snark
10-20-2009, 10:08 AM
in America, Brian Michael Bendis is great.

Generic Poster
10-20-2009, 10:09 AM
Never have I been so disappointed after a vanity search.

I join you in disappointment.

Rafiennes
10-20-2009, 10:12 AM
Len Snark and The Todd used to host a morning radio show in Des Moines called 'Snarks and Todd In The Morning'

Pat Loika provided the traffic report.
America Dave provided movie reviews.
Denny provided food critique but only of the local diners named after him.

Roman Noodles
10-20-2009, 10:13 AM
Ironically enough, but Generic Poster is actually a registered trademark.

Ryudo
10-20-2009, 10:15 AM
Generic Poster is always there, posting generic things in the background to earn himself a moderator spot. He leaves his PM box open in another browser tab, refreshing it every ten minutes. Every day without that fateful message, he cries a little on the inside.

Generic Poster
10-20-2009, 10:19 AM
Generic Poster is always there, posting generic things in the background to earn himself a moderator spot. He leaves his PM box open in another browser tab, refreshing it every ten minutes. Every day without that fateful message, he cries a little on the inside.

I don't just cry a little.

:sad:

Rafiennes
10-20-2009, 10:21 AM
Generic Poster's phone number is 555-1234

EdNEMO
10-20-2009, 11:58 AM
Rafiennes has never gotten anything he ever wanted. Unless you count that rattlesnake that granted him all of those wishes.

RegHorsten
10-20-2009, 12:46 PM
Jason California wasn't actually banned from the Bendis Boards he was just pretending to be up in a helium balloon.

Doug
10-20-2009, 12:48 PM
Oeming hates every single one of us.

GelfXIII
10-20-2009, 12:57 PM
Mack! is secretly a cynic.

RegHorsten
10-20-2009, 12:59 PM
America Dave has never shown himself in person, only via security monitors which reveal him to be a dignified old man from the planet Karfel.

Marc Lombardi
10-20-2009, 01:06 PM
Shadowline Pimp was beaten by actual pimps and learned humility on that day.
Inconceivable!

Marc Lombardi
10-20-2009, 01:10 PM
Pat Loika was the inspiration for the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

Keith P. was the inspriation for "It's Rainin' Men."

Foolish Mortal
10-20-2009, 01:57 PM
Never have I been so disappointed after a vanity search.
As have I.. :bored:

Magnum V.I.
10-20-2009, 04:36 PM
Magnum V.I. shaved his mustache, but hides it by drinking a lot of milk.

My stache will never be gone! NEVER!


Magnum V.I. is not, in fact, a ginger. He just likes telling people that he is to get the sympathy.

:mad:! I have a disease Penis destroyer!!


Magnum V.I. is the best private detective in the world.

:heart:



GelfXIII actually hates hippies and listens to heavy metal all the time as he burns Grateful Dead record's.

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 04:37 PM
Generic Poster's phone number is not the one listed in this thread, because I called it, and some guy told me he was going to make stew from my tasty asscheeks upon answering...

...the number listed in this thread was Generic Posters.

Jason California
10-20-2009, 04:57 PM
Foolish Mortal secretly thinks he is a genius.

RebootedCorpse
10-20-2009, 04:59 PM
In Van Sciver's notebook, he keeps writing "Mr. Ethan Pelosi" over and over.

Foolish Mortal
10-20-2009, 05:04 PM
Foolish Mortal secretly thinks he is a genius.
That is a fact, sir. :D

Superior Kiai
10-20-2009, 05:12 PM
The Kiai has more names that Bendis and JMS conmbined.

AndrewG is actualy a clone of the original AndrewG, who then replaced the original after cutting his mullet and dying his hair blond.

SgtPepper
10-20-2009, 05:19 PM
Todd Radical is Pitchfork which became sentient and hides among us in human form discussing Pixies B-Sides and Colin Meloy's sideburns.

The Zevad
10-20-2009, 05:28 PM
I'm not the original Zevad

Miken Ayers still posts on the board. How? Denny is not Denny. :scared:

Masculine Todd
10-20-2009, 05:33 PM
Todd Radical is Pitchfork which became sentient and hides among us in human form discussing Pixies B-Sides and Colin Meloy's sideburns.

I haven't a cluuuuu Prgrm 10101notreco10101gnize the self100000010001rebtthelatestbarkpsychosisispedest rian10101000000111110101111010001e what you're talking about.

Superior Kiai
10-20-2009, 05:37 PM
I haven't a cluuuuu Prgrm 10101notreco10101gnize the self100000010001rebtthelatestbarkpsychosisispedest rian10101000000111110101111010001e what you're talking about.

:scared:

SgtPepper
10-20-2009, 05:40 PM
I haven't a cluuuuu Prgrm 10101notreco10101gnize the self100000010001rebtthelatestbarkpsychosisispedest rian10101000000111110101111010001e what you're talking about.

I :heart: Todd.

AndrewG
10-20-2009, 05:41 PM
The Kiai has more names that Bendis and JMS conmbined.

AndrewG is actualy a clone of the original AndrewG, who then replaced the original after cutting his mullet and dying his hair blond.

I had a mullet....for about 1 day.

No bleach for me though.

Drew
10-20-2009, 07:44 PM
Ryudo is secretly comediaish ventriloquacist Jeff Dunham.

Kingsumo
10-20-2009, 07:52 PM
Adam_Warlock_2099 is actually a super conservative preacher

Village Idiot has been known to stalk gibbEy between cases

SgtPepper once killed a man who badmouthed the Beatles within earshot.

RegHorsten
10-20-2009, 08:09 PM
Kingsumo is still miffed that he was passed over in the Ugandan royal line.

Kingsumo
10-20-2009, 08:13 PM
They say that RegHorsten never actually returned from Germany, but his spirit still lives on in the form of a ghost in the message board.

Superior Kiai
10-20-2009, 08:39 PM
Raydawggie is secretly Joe Quesada.

Bad Wolf
10-20-2009, 10:56 PM
I'm new...

Jacques Toochay
10-20-2009, 11:23 PM
I heard that Bad Wolf wants to gay marry some old dude.

Bad Wolf
10-20-2009, 11:33 PM
I heard that Jacques Toochay totally showed up drunk at some gay wedding yelling profanities at some old dude...

Ryudo
10-21-2009, 04:19 AM
Ryudo is secretly comediaish ventriloquacist Jeff Dunham.

Hello!!! I am Lindsay Lohan!

Rafiennes
10-21-2009, 05:24 AM
Ashwin likes to walk around shouting 'They laughed at me at the University, but I will show them all!"

DAVE
10-21-2009, 06:27 AM
Bad Wolf's name is Winston.

Jef UK
10-21-2009, 06:33 AM
America Dave once walked into his kitchen and impossibly got stuck on a door knob for 10 minutes before taking off his pants to free himself.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 06:34 AM
:lol:

snuffy
10-21-2009, 06:45 AM
Noble actually owns a Wii...

And plays it more than his Xbox 360...

The Doctor
10-21-2009, 06:50 AM
Steve Zegers is really the lasto son of Krypton

DS9 loves his Marvel comics and hugs them every night

Adam Witt is secretly Alan Moore

noble
10-21-2009, 06:50 AM
Snuffy is actually a straight edger.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 06:51 AM
Jef UK once had Jimmy Palmiotti D.D for him.

noble
10-21-2009, 06:51 AM
Kari is actually an impish demon that escaped from a botched spell Alan Moore was casting.

snuffy
10-21-2009, 06:52 AM
Snuffy is actually a straight edger.

:)

Foolish Mortal
10-21-2009, 06:53 AM
Travis did not shoot the sheriff, but did in fact shoot the deputy.

Rafiennes
10-21-2009, 06:56 AM
Travis did not shoot the sheriff, but did in fact shoot the deputy.

Foolish Mortal didn't get the drummer job in Def Leppard due to the fact that he has two arms.

Doug
10-21-2009, 06:58 AM
Thudpucker did not kill a man in Reno "just to watch him die."

It was actually in Fresno, California.

TIP
10-21-2009, 07:03 AM
Thudpucker has a nutcup in the shape of ROM: Spaceknight's head and claims it chock full of Dire Wrath Sluice.

SgtPepper
10-21-2009, 07:46 AM
TIP is actually Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman.

TIP
10-21-2009, 07:49 AM
TIP is actually Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman.

And I've heard he actually fed a Beefheart to Frank back in the day.

PeterSparker
10-21-2009, 08:12 AM
America Dave is actually Canadian!

Pat Loika
10-21-2009, 08:19 AM
Nick T. is Michael Caine.

PeterSparker
10-21-2009, 08:24 AM
Pat Loika shot a man in Reno, ...and then didn't even stick around to watch him die because he had like three hot blondes to bang back at the Reno Airport Holiday Inn.

SgtPepper
10-21-2009, 08:28 AM
PeterSparker's normal avatar? That ain't makeup!

PeterSparker
10-21-2009, 08:29 AM
PeterSparker's normal avatar? That ain't makeup!


Yeah, yeah, urban legends ... :mistrust:

Foolish Mortal
10-21-2009, 08:33 AM
Foolish Mortal didn't get the drummer job in Def Leppard due to the fact that he has two arms.
Rafiennes wanted to get into professional Cockfighting, but was disappointed when he found out it wasn't what he thought it was.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 08:36 AM
PeterSparker was born and raised in Staten Island.

PeterSparker
10-21-2009, 08:46 AM
PeterSparker was born and raised in Staten Island.

Ok, ok, we're all having fun and everything, but you just crossed a line! :x

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 08:51 AM
PeterSparker is responsible for 1/8 of the Staten Island Landfill. And that is only the portion he admits to.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 08:53 AM
American Dave, those aren't limes.

Ryan Elliott
10-21-2009, 08:56 AM
Bad Wolf's name is Winston.


Kari is actually an impish demon that escaped from a botched spell Alan Moore was casting.


These are true.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 09:14 AM
Brian Defferding is the blue-blood heir to the Choco Taco fortune.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 09:17 AM
If you look in the mirror and say Mike Black three times, an article from Wired Magazine will appear in your inbox.

CapnChaos
10-21-2009, 09:22 AM
Defferding once ate his weight in Godfather's Pizza, saved some old people from a nursing home fire and had Michael Jackson's sister stop by his house to use the bathroom.

But he can't Truffle Shuffle to save his life.

noble
10-21-2009, 09:39 AM
These are true.

SHHHH!!

She can hear your thoughts...

:scared::scared::scared::scared:

noble
10-21-2009, 09:41 AM
Bendis' daughter really didn't poke him in the eye.

He just really got into the role of Ultimate Nick Fury when he was writing him.

Buk Was Right
10-21-2009, 09:42 AM
America Dave met his fiance at The Great Juggalo Gathering several years ago.

Doug
10-21-2009, 09:54 AM
Fake Pat's name is actually Pat, and he is a real person.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 09:55 AM
Jeff UK once settled a dispute between the warring clans of baboons at the Prospect Park Zoo with little more than a Kit Kat and a disposable comb.

SgtPepper
10-21-2009, 10:02 AM
Jeff UK and Robert Schneider are the same person.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 10:20 AM
SgtPepper2789 once found an entire crate of "White Album" records in a house he was renovating. He has never opened the crate and uses it as an office chair.

TIP
10-21-2009, 10:29 AM
Your Pal Jim is actually My Gal TYM.

:heybaby:

Ryan Elliott
10-21-2009, 10:32 AM
SHHHH!!

She can hear your thoughts...

:scared::scared::scared::scared:


I know. :(

Rafiennes
10-21-2009, 10:47 AM
Rafiennes wanted to get into professional Cockfighting, but was disappointed when he found out it wasn't what he thought it was.

This....is not entirely false.

Bad Wolf
10-21-2009, 12:41 PM
America Dave has been to David Letterman's bunker.

Ryan Elliot has been to Joseph Gordon Levitt's bunker...

Jef UK
10-21-2009, 01:24 PM
I originally wanted to call the band, "Oranges in Mono."

thatguyfromsyracuse
10-21-2009, 01:30 PM
Jef UK is made of two midgets and a rabid raccoon. He also wears a magic cape.

Jef UK
10-21-2009, 01:33 PM
Thatguy once attempted tantric sex with two midgets and a rabid racoon at a magic cape convention.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 01:33 PM
thatguyfromsyracuse is from Syracuse.

Jef UK
10-21-2009, 01:35 PM
Buk was right stands 3 apples high, but those apples are 2 feet tall apiece.

Jef UK
10-21-2009, 01:39 PM
PeterSparker's real name is BenRollmeajointy.

thatguyfromsyracuse
10-21-2009, 01:41 PM
When in a confrontation, America Dave can chew through a persons sternum.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 01:43 PM
PeterSparker's real name is BenRollmeajointy.

This, for the win.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 01:43 PM
When America Dave is hungry he can chew through a person's sternum.

Brian Defferding
10-21-2009, 01:44 PM
If you drink enough whiskey in one sitting and you type "Giants" five hundred times in a Benbo baseball thread, your computer will tell you just exactly what modicom of discussion Buk was right on.

DAVE
10-21-2009, 01:44 PM
Jef UK's post got the win.

hamgravy
10-21-2009, 01:58 PM
Jef UK's post got the win.

That's just a legend.

The Zevad
10-21-2009, 02:35 PM
Bendis is not a human. He's actually Mike Oeming's sentient Penis. That's the real reason he wore the eye patch.

Think about it.

Magnum V.I.
10-21-2009, 02:38 PM
AMERICA DAVE is the reason the Mets went to the playoffs this ye.....oh.

Jef UK
10-22-2009, 08:06 AM
BEN's first name is Gordon. Email him at gordon_ben@gmail.com

Masculine Todd
10-22-2009, 08:12 AM
Fake Pat's name is actually Pat, and he is a real person.

He's not even (sad[ly]) about it.

Rafiennes
10-22-2009, 09:13 AM
Jef UK is on her majesty's secret service...literally...he's on top of it

PeterSparker
10-22-2009, 10:22 PM
Jef UK was also briefly known as Jef Paraguay.

He ran a professional dog grooming business, smoked cigarillos, and skated the part of Big Bird in the touring company of Sesame Street On Ice 1999.

Doug
10-23-2009, 04:41 AM
There once was a thread that caused the bannings of 3 mods. That was the day dEnny got the job.

Brad N.
10-23-2009, 06:36 AM
Threads like this remind me of why I still enjoy coming here.

Also it has been said that TIP is the illigitimate son of Frank Zappa and Stephen Hawking (I believe they used Angie Dickinson to gestate). He's a real rock and roller. With great gams.

It was also HIS idea to use the names Dweezil and Moon Unit, but to be fair he was just a kid...and high on crystal meth.

Superior Kiai
10-23-2009, 06:45 AM
Dr. Catclops, as his name suggests, is a mutated, one-eyed lolcat.

PeterSparker
10-23-2009, 06:55 AM
TheTravis was actually the inspiration for the Commodres classic song 'Three Times A Lady'.

WinterRose
10-24-2009, 09:01 AM
Legend has it that Cth is not actually a person, but a clever weird image seeking AI that was released as wildlife into the internet. It found comics during an image search and decided to make its home on the Bendis board.

I have myself, in the past, claimed to have seen Cth. Even claimed that I stood as best man at his wedding and attended collegiate level creative writing classes with him in high school. But then... you have to decide whether or not I'm a real person at all.

Some have said that I'm an AI as well. Or that I'm a clever fiction by Cth. Or that Macha's Rook was a fiction by me. Or that I'm actually a fangirl. Or that maybe I'm the invention of a group of robotic AI's plotting to subvert humanity, a bit like the old George Kaplan character from 'North by Northwest.' Which of course would explain the huge robot fetish...

Actually, only two of these things are true.

GelfXIII
10-24-2009, 09:15 AM
I heard Winterrose once auditioned for the role of the Doctor's companion and the Doctor as well.

Ryan_ZOOM_Turner
10-24-2009, 09:24 AM
TIP plays a mean lazer harp.

TIP
10-24-2009, 09:53 AM
TIP plays a mean lazer harp.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v230/tiptone/laser-space-harp-o.gif

Ryan Elliott
10-24-2009, 02:27 PM
Just because his name is TIP...doesn't mean that's all he puts into you...:cry:

TIP
10-24-2009, 02:50 PM
Just because his name is TIP...doesn't mean that's all he puts into you...:cry:

Ah, yes. The Two Point Coversion.

:shifty:

Ryan Elliott
10-24-2009, 02:52 PM
Ah, yes. The Two Point Coversion.

:shifty:


Oh no...n-not again! :Panic:

TIP
10-24-2009, 02:55 PM
Oh no...n-not again! :Panic:

http://www.stellapower.net/tigger/images/Misc/hole.gif

Dusto
10-24-2009, 02:56 PM
If you turn off all the lights and look into a mirror and say "Winston Wolf" three times, you will wake up with a vag tat. But only if you're a guy.

TIP
10-24-2009, 02:56 PM
Winston Wolf!
Winston Wolf!
Winston Wold!


*looks down*

Ryan_ZOOM_Turner
10-24-2009, 03:06 PM
Just because his name is TIP...doesn't mean that's all he puts into you...:cry:

:lol:

Ryan_ZOOM_Turner
10-24-2009, 03:08 PM
Ah, yes. The Two Point Coversion.

:shifty:I thought I was the only one who referred to it as The Two Point Conversion. :lol:

TIP
10-24-2009, 03:12 PM
Zoom wants me to ice his Ex.

:shifty:

T
(all of them)

TIP
10-24-2009, 03:13 PM
I thought I was the only one who referred to it as The Two Point Conversion. :lol:

Minnesota rides Iowa for a reason.

The reason?

To glean Knowledge.

T

Ryan_ZOOM_Turner
10-24-2009, 03:20 PM
Minnesota rides Iowa for a reason.

The reason?

To glean Knowledge.

T

Glean away, glean away.

Slewo.O
10-24-2009, 03:25 PM
TIP actually doesn't tip a waitress... ever.

TIP
10-24-2009, 03:27 PM
TIP actually doesn't tip a waitress... ever.

Correct.

She gets the whole stalk.

Dusto
10-24-2009, 03:28 PM
Remember the tipping thread three or four boards ago? Let's not let this conversation get out of hand.

The Doctor
10-24-2009, 04:12 PM
I heard Winterrose once auditioned for the role of the Doctor's companion and the Doctor as well.

I did it's true

jason hissong
10-24-2009, 04:13 PM
That Rubicon guy was really a Mafia Hitman.

Adam Witt
10-25-2009, 11:00 AM
Jason Hissong crossed the Rubicon one time too many and ended up in a woodchipper. Jef UK posts from his account now.

PeterSparker
10-25-2009, 09:33 PM
On July 5th of every year SteveZegers sits alone in his basement and eats the same amount of hot dogs as the winner of Nathan's famous contest did the previous day on Coney Island. Then he eats exactly one more than that amount.

Because Steve does not believe in the sin of vanity, he needs not flaunt his cherished and special gift before the world! Steve lies content in the knowledge that he, and he alone is the true hot dog eating champ of the known world, and beyond.

But, alas, if you look closely, just at the corner of his eye as he eats that record breaking hot dog each year alone in his basement, you'll see perhaps the hint of a tear forming, almost about to fall...