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View Full Version : How good are you about affecting positive change in your life?



changingshades
03-18-2009, 03:37 AM
Without getting too much into it, I'm becoming more and more aware of my faults as a human being, and all I really do is look at it, acknowledge it, sigh, and keep on doing it. I want to be a better person, but I'm just too damn lazy. So, how good are you, once you know something needs to change, at changing your life?

Hollingsworth
03-18-2009, 04:50 AM
Take a cue from your screen name. Just get off your ass and make whatever changes you need to make. If your life isn't the way you want it to be, you're the only one that can fix it. Laziness will get you nowhere in this life. Really nowhere.

Treacle
03-18-2009, 05:23 AM
Change or die, man.

I've made a number of really significant changes in my life in the past year. They were all hard because upsetting an equilibrium kind of goes against my natural tendency, but they were all necessary.

schizorabbit
03-18-2009, 05:29 AM
I used to have major anger issues. Would try to start fights with strangers--I'd hulk out in public when somebody pissed me off--and when I got into arguments with girlfriends, I'd go all Christian Bale on 'em. Once, during a fight about how lazy I was (she noted, for example, that she did all the cooking), I got a cartoon of eggs, and then proceeded to throw the eggs, one at a time, at the wall of our bedroom and yelled out, "Look, I'm making breakfast!!!!" A trip to the jail after fighting a friend in public put an end to that. You do a lot of soul searching after hanging out in a small, airless prison cell with big, scary black dudes looking down at you. :)

I used to cheat on my girlfriends a lot as well, and in connection with that, I was the biggest liar I knew. And when the shit hit the fan, and I lost a lot of friends because of an epic break-up, it still took me over a year to overcome the deeply rooted denial and realize that, yes, I was a selfish asshole.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk200/schizorabbit/button-1.png

costello
03-18-2009, 05:34 AM
I'm actually pretty good at making positive changes, but right now I feel like I'm getting dumped on from all sides. Most of the problems are probably in my head, but damn.

AndrewG
03-18-2009, 05:36 AM
Once, during a fight about how lazy I was (she noted, for example, that she did all the cooking), I got a cartoon of eggs, and then proceeded to throw the eggs, one at a time, at the wall of our bedroom and yelled out, "Look, I'm making breakfast!!!!"

:)

danlomb
03-18-2009, 05:46 AM
I'm currently revamping the way I tackle life, and it's incredible how well it's working.
Where I would used to frown and scowl and keep my head down hunched over, I now stand upright, and smile. That's just one change I've made out of many.
People respond to me more positively, making me feel more positive, etc.

My whole life I've been stuck in this horrible cycle of being miserable because people thought I was miserable which would make me miserable which would make people think I was miserable - etc.
But lately I'd just gotten so sick of being left behind by all that shit, that I just bought a book on body language and attraction, and picked up some tricks to get people to respond to you positively, making you more positive, making it easier to feel positive, etc.

Once you take the gamble - you see the 'positive' carousel of life spinning so fast in front of you, and while it's scary and a challenge to jump on, once you do, you just let the momentum take you and enjoy the ride.

Dark Sasha
03-18-2009, 05:48 AM
I feel that other people are enabling my life script and that puts me into a shame spiral.

jason hissong
03-18-2009, 06:14 AM
I completely understand your frustration.

In the last eight months I have enjoyed my life more than I think I ever have. Do I still get frustrated, angry and depressed? Sometimes, sure. But now my good days are way better, and my bad days are way less bad.

What happened? I got busy. When I got busy, I got better.

That's the simple version. If you want to know the details, we can talk about that via email or PM.

RegHorsten
03-18-2009, 07:24 AM
Not good. I should've bailed out of my marriage years before we actully did split. I should've left this job also a long time ago and got back to the USA which I miss incredibly.

Changingshades let me ask you something are you around your 30's in age?
These ideas tend to manifest in men around this time is why I am asking.
Or is it more to do with your living in another country?

Rosdower 3.0
03-18-2009, 07:26 AM
For now I fail, but someday I hope to make the necessary changes to live better & longer. That's life for you, try until you get it right.

WesleyCraigGreen
03-18-2009, 10:04 AM
So, how good are you, once you know something needs to change, at changing your life?

Not to get all Tony Robbins on you but speaking from personal experience, it sounds like you need to make some goals.

I would suggest making specific goals for different areas of your life including those you want to change. It's one thing to say "I want to be rich", it's another to say "I want to have $1 million dollars by March 2010".

Then, for each goal, write down WHY you want that particular goal. These "whys" will help motivate you while you're working towards those goals.

Hope this helped!

Wesley

Donal DeLay
03-18-2009, 10:24 AM
I'm pretty lazy about making changes and tend to let shit pile on me until I'm forced to sort it out.

Like my debt. Couldn't afford to pay off my cards, pay rent, buy food, gas, etc. So once I got to that final straw, I dumped it all. Cancelled my credit cards, moved in with my in-laws so I sould pay less rent and pay off my debt.

I hurt my back at work, and that caused me to start working out. I sold my truck so I'd be forced to ride a bike and got a gym membership so that bill kind of forces me to USE that membership so I'm not paying 21.00/mo for something I don't use.

Now, I'm at the point in my job where I'm sick of everything about it and it just infuriates me each day. I'm signing up for CNA classes next month.

So, once I get to that point, I'm pretty good an affecting change. Until then, I have no will power.

:D

lonesomefool
03-18-2009, 05:08 PM
Eh, I'm ok at it. My biggest problem is I am an inherently impatient, restless person. I am constantly thinking about 5 years in the future, what I will be doing, where my life is going, rather than just taking a step back and realizing I am 22 years old, have been at my current job for 8 months and have already been named manager of the service department at one of the largest Heating and A/C companies in the state. I live by myself, no roomie and my bills are paid.

That's a lot of things a lot of people cant say, but I never really think about it, I am constantly thinking about the future and where I am going and all that jazz. So that can slow my progress, but I do generally take things seriously in terms of changes in my life. I wanted to lose some weight and have lost 12 pounds in the last 3-4 months. I wanted to save more money and spend less and have done so.

So, yeah, my problem is when I want to change stuff, I jump into it and if I dont see instant results I can lose focus, but I am doing ok even still.

Good luck with the changes in your life though, dude.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic
03-18-2009, 05:11 PM
Better than I used to be, I'll give myself hat.

Ryan Walsh
03-18-2009, 05:22 PM
I've had mixed success. If you recognize that you need to make positive changes, that alone puts you above most of the people in the world.

I use a mixture of patience and creative perspective. Some of the changes I'm trying to make in my life are long-term, could take years. I motivate myself by looking at the effort, not the result, as something to celebrate. So long as you're trying, you're doing good, or so I tell myself.

Send me a pm if you're struggling, shnookybear.

19bernardo87
03-18-2009, 05:27 PM
Yea, I had that phase.

I just started hanging out with bigger assholes than myself. Problem solved. 8)


My problem is that I have Peter Parker Syndrome. I often try to make my life as shitty as possible, and I'm not even aware of it most of the time. But apparently I can't be truly happy unless I'm somewhat miserable.

killingyouguy
03-18-2009, 08:43 PM
I'm both lazy and self-loathing so change is hard. But I am very aware (sometimes painfully so) of my issues and what needs to change and I try to chip away at it as much as possible. But I'm still in college for another 2 months, so I can afford to be lazy until then.

/(. . )/
03-18-2009, 10:43 PM
you just do it, Jon.

A very good starting point is making sure you get out of bed in the morning and making sure that you eat right. "You are what you eat."

Good luck.

BenitoCereno
03-18-2009, 11:11 PM
Hahah, man...you post that thing about affect/effect in your blog and you still get it mixed up. ;)

You want to AFFECT your life in a positive way by EFFECTING positive change.

The Hodag
03-18-2009, 11:34 PM
It's all but impossible for me.

changingshades
03-19-2009, 02:38 AM
Hahah, man...you post that thing about affect/effect in your blog and you still get it mixed up. ;)

You want to AFFECT your life in a positive way by EFFECTING positive change.

I'll affect your face. :x

*secretly pleased that someone actually reads his blog*

changingshades
03-19-2009, 02:40 AM
I've had mixed success. If you recognize that you need to make positive changes, that alone puts you above most of the people in the world.

I use a mixture of patience and creative perspective. Some of the changes I'm trying to make in my life are long-term, could take years. I motivate myself by looking at the effort, not the result, as something to celebrate. So long as you're trying, you're doing good, or so I tell myself.

Send me a pm if you're struggling, shnookybear.

See, Ryan, I know I need to change, it's just a matter of how I can change. Obviously, I'm not going anywhere for 6 months, but I have no clue what I want to do after these 6 months are up. And further more I know it's my attitude toward people that are trying to help me or at least just trying to do their job and get me to do mine, that is the biggest impediment to my actions.

Ryan Elliott
03-19-2009, 02:48 AM
I'm both lazy and self-loathing so change is hard. But I am very aware (sometimes painfully so) of my issues and what needs to change and I try to chip away at it as much as possible. But I'm still in college for another 2 months, so I can afford to be lazy until then.


Are you my clone?

Maestro
03-19-2009, 02:52 AM
I'm fine with myself. I accept me. Honestly helping people is not my biggest priority. I seek pleasure and entertainment, and try not to regret anything... I have one life to live, and I want it to be awesome

leviathan
03-19-2009, 04:06 AM
Right there with you.

I am perfectly aware of all my issues and problems. Hell, I even know what changes I have to undertake to 'fix' myself. But I'm a) too lazy, and b) too afraid of the potential ramifications of the changes. My comfort zone might be a pretty crappy place, but at least its predictable. Not so sure what the situation would be if I changed everything around.