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View Full Version : Tom Burgos wept: Romantic comedies "spoil your love life"



JoeE
12-16-2008, 11:14 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm


Watching romantic comedies can spoil your love life, a study by a university in Edinburgh has claimed.

Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love.

They found fans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner.

Many held the view if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you telling them.

Psychologists at the family and personal relationships laboratory at the university studied 40 top box office hits between 1995 and 2005, and identified common themes which they believed were unrealistic.

The movies included You've Got Mail, Maid In Manhattan, The Wedding Planner and While You Were Sleeping.

The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.

"We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds.

"The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise."

As part of the project, 100 student volunteers were asked to watch the 2001 romantic comedy Serendipity, while a further 100 watched a David Lynch drama.

Predestined love

Students watching the romantic film were later found to be more likely to believe in fate and destiny. A further study found that fans of romantic comedies had a stronger belief in predestined love.

Kimberly Johnson, who also worked on the study, said: "Films do capture the excitement of new relationships but they also wrongly suggest that trust and committed love exist from the moment people meet, whereas these are qualities that normally take years to develop."

The researchers have now launched an online study on media and relationships.

They are asking people to participate by answering questions about personality, relationships, and media consumption habits by filling in a questionnaire which you can click on here

Drkemerld73
12-16-2008, 11:15 AM
Clint? Is this true?

;)

Gregory
12-16-2008, 11:17 AM
I also blame every fucking TV drama for creating the scenario where a person sees their lover with anyone else -- anyone else -- and assume they have been replaced for the affections.

This even happened on the show of Our Lord and Savior House.

Rod Nunley
12-16-2008, 11:21 AM
Dear people who did this study,

Thank you for spending lots of time and effort to glean information most men have been trying to tell most women since we were first forced to watch these movies.

We're all glad you finally caught up but also fuck you for taking so long to get here.

If you could stop making these shitty movies now that would be great.

Sincerely,

Men Everywhere.

TheTravis!
12-16-2008, 11:24 AM
"You ladies have it hard. You all think these Brad Pitts and Will Smiths and Leonardo Dicapricocks are going to come waltzing into your life and take you out somewhere fancy like an Olive Garden or a Pizzeria Uno and make love to you with a condom without fingering your asshole. Well wake up! They don't have time... I do."

Gregory
12-16-2008, 11:25 AM
I remember Ebert trashing Serendipity because the couple tested fate to see if they were really destined for each other. He wrote, and I'm paraphrasing, imagine if you had to listen to these two tell you how they got together.

William Joseph Dunn
12-16-2008, 12:03 PM
"You ladies have it hard. You all think these Brad Pitts and Will Smiths and Leonardo Dicapricocks are going to come waltzing into your life and take you out somewhere fancy like an Olive Garden or a Pizzeria Uno and make love to you with a condom without fingering your asshole. Well wake up! They don't have time... I do."

Jim Norton?

schizorabbit
12-16-2008, 12:05 PM
I remember Ebert trashing Serendipity because the couple tested fate to see if they were really destined for each other. He wrote, and I'm paraphrasing, imagine if you had to listen to these two tell you how they got together.

I went on a date to that movie. I remember walking out, saying, "They should've called it Serendipishit."

TheTravis!
12-16-2008, 12:06 PM
Jim Norton?

Dave Attell.

Ashwin Pande
12-16-2008, 12:23 PM
I remember Ebert trashing Serendipity because the couple tested fate to see if they were really destined for each other. He wrote, and I'm paraphrasing, imagine if you had to listen to these two tell you how they got together.

That movie had a real dumbshit premise. If there are actually any women on Earth who do that kind of thing I can promise you they won't be as good looking as Beckinsale and the only thing multiple in her life will be cats.

Also, I think these geniuses should do a study on people who call these movies "Rom-Coms". I think they need to be studied and possibly thrown into a mental asylum for butchering the english language with horrible portmanteaus like that.

Gregory
12-16-2008, 12:23 PM
Also, I think these geniuses should do a study on people who call these movies "Rom-Coms". I think they need to be studied and possibly thrown into a mental asylum for butchering the english language with horrible portmanteaus like that.

I blame Variety.

Generic Poster
12-16-2008, 12:26 PM
Wait a minute - stuff in movies doesn't correspond to how stuff is in real life?

Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.

Ashwin Pande
12-16-2008, 12:31 PM
Wait a minute - stuff in movies doesn't correspond to how stuff is in real life?

Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.

The difference is some women, and even a few men I know, see these movies and expect real life relationships to be like these movies. They start believing in that destiny and fate garbage. Real relationships aren't like that. You meet someone and then both people have to work at being together. Waiting for some soulmate who never comes just because it looks great in movies isn't how real life works.

It works differently for other movies because like other people don't start thinking Batman is real after watching the Dark Knight. Or try to stop bullets after watching the Matrix.

It's like that Patton Oswalt joke about him watching movies, getting his aggression out and then going back to the real world once it's over. It doesn't happen for a lot of people with these kind of movies. It really does distort their views on how real relationships work.

Ben
12-16-2008, 12:42 PM
Do Bromantic Comedies ruin guys' friendships?

Albert
12-16-2008, 12:43 PM
Do Bromantic Comedies ruin guys' friendships?

If they ever make a movie about our friendship it will.

bartleby
12-16-2008, 12:46 PM
Do Bromantic Comedies ruin guys' friendships?

If you made it through the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 fiasco, you can weather a bromantic comedy storm.

Ben
12-16-2008, 12:47 PM
Bromantic comedies give me unrealistic expectations about sex between guys.

schizorabbit
12-16-2008, 12:49 PM
I have always thought that Before Sunrise and its sequel Before Sunset, were, for lack of a better label, "romantic comedies" that were true-to-life. I had this one relationship that started off like that. Just two people who didn't know each other--we had mutual friends--that ended up hanging out one night. We were having these debates/conversations, feeling each other out, trying to get to know each other on a fast-forward basis that went from cafe to bar to walking around the neighborhood and having these little adventures, ending up at her car. I gave her a hug, and she didn't let go.

This is the part where you all go, Awwwwwwwwwww.
And somebody goes, Pussy.

THWIP!
12-16-2008, 12:50 PM
"You ladies have it hard. You all think these Brad Pitts and Will Smiths and Leonardo Dicapricocks are going to come waltzing into your life and take you out somewhere fancy like an Olive Garden or a Pizzeria Uno and make love to you with a condom without fingering your asshole. Well wake up! They don't have time... I do."

:)

Love Dave Attell.

Evan the Shaggy
12-16-2008, 12:52 PM
"You ladies have it hard. You all think these Brad Pitts and Will Smiths and Leonardo Dicapricocks are going to come waltzing into your life and take you out somewhere fancy like an Olive Garden or a Pizzeria Uno and make love to you with a condom without fingering your asshole. Well wake up! They don't have time... I do."

If it feels like more than a finger, its probably a dick.

Dreaded Anomaly
12-16-2008, 12:53 PM
The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it."

QFT.


The difference is some women, and even a few men I know, see these movies and expect real life relationships to be like these movies. They start believing in that destiny and fate garbage. Real relationships aren't like that. You meet someone and then both people have to work at being together. Waiting for some soulmate who never comes just because it looks great in movies isn't how real life works.

It works differently for other movies because like other people don't start thinking Batman is real after watching the Dark Knight. Or try to stop bullets after watching the Matrix.

It's like that Patton Oswalt joke about him watching movies, getting his aggression out and then going back to the real world once it's over. It doesn't happen for a lot of people with these kind of movies. It really does distort their views on how real relationships work.

Also QFT.

This article and ashwin's post highlight many of my problems with Twilight.

Adrian B AWESOME
12-16-2008, 01:04 PM
I would love to see Tom Burgos become President of Hollywood.

bartleby
12-16-2008, 01:22 PM
I would love to see Tom Burgos become President of Hollywood.

I'd like to see Bugos and Technofear be heads of competing studios.

Dreaded Anomaly
12-16-2008, 01:26 PM
I'd like to see Bugos and Technofear be heads of competing studios.

Whoever wins, we lose?

Adrian B AWESOME
12-16-2008, 01:28 PM
Whoever wins, we lose?

No way. The world would be so full of win.

bartleby
12-16-2008, 01:29 PM
Whoever wins, we lose?

Not if somebody did a documentary about it.

Generic Poster
12-16-2008, 01:33 PM
orks.

It works differently for other movies because like other people don't start thinking Batman is real after watching the Dark Knight.

I disagree. The Batman movies made me VASTLY over-estimate my chances of defeating armed criminals with my bare hands.

Gunter
12-16-2008, 01:42 PM
There has also been a link found between romantic comedies and stalker related restraining orders because some guy stood outside his girlfriend's window with a boombox playing "In Your Eyes".

c. page
12-16-2008, 01:50 PM
There has also been a link found between romantic comedies and stalker related restraining orders because some guy stood outside his girlfriend's window with a boombox playing "In Your Eyes".

it's amusing to me how closely tied the idea of "romantic" vs. "stalkerish" actually are. most women i know find that scene horribly romantic, until i ask what they'd do in real life if that actually happened to them.

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
12-16-2008, 01:50 PM
It works differently for other movies because like other people don't start thinking Batman is real after watching the Dark Knight. Or try to stop bullets after watching the Matrix.


Wrong! I know of plenty of men who believe that most women can orgasm from 5 minutes of nothing but banging thanks to porn.

c. page
12-16-2008, 01:55 PM
Wrong! I know of plenty of men who believe that most women can orgasm from 5 minutes of nothing but banging thanks to porn.

you all really enjoy anal sex and double penetration, if porn has taught me anything.

ClintP
12-16-2008, 01:56 PM
Clint? Is this true?

;)
Oh fuck you! :lol:

Comic Book Vigilante
12-16-2008, 01:57 PM
Wrong! I know of plenty of men who believe that most women can orgasm from 5 minutes of nothing but banging thanks to porn.

Shit, some chicks take so much work, a guy could get a freaking charly horse. Best invention ever? The vibrator. "Here ya go, babe. Use this. Lemme know when you're almost ready. I'll be watching the game."

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
12-16-2008, 01:59 PM
Shit, some chicks take so much work, a guy could get a freaking charly horse. Best invention ever? The vibrator. "Here ya go, babe. Use this. Lemme know when you're almost ready. I'll be watching the game."

If only homosexuality was an opt in kinda thing. ;)

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
12-16-2008, 02:01 PM
you all really enjoy anal sex and double penetration, if porn has taught me anything.

It's totally awesome when someone comes all over your face! :no:

Generic Poster
12-16-2008, 02:12 PM
Wrong! I know of plenty of men who believe that most women can orgasm from 5 minutes of nothing but banging thanks to porn.

I know, right? Who can really go for five whole minutes? Movies really do screw up a lot of relationships.

c. page
12-16-2008, 02:12 PM
It's totally awesome when someone comes all over your face! :no:

don't forget the hair!

also, forcing a chick to gag while going down on you is a sure fire way to get her to do it again! repeatedly!

Ben
12-16-2008, 02:16 PM
Wrong! I know of plenty of men who believe that most women can orgasm from 5 minutes of nothing but banging thanks to porn.Some women can.

Mylazycat
12-16-2008, 02:19 PM
I know, right? Who can really go for five whole minutes? Movies really do screw up a lot of relationships.

This isn't really a joke when you're young. I first saw porn at 16 and, honest to goodness, until I had my first serious relationship in my early twenties, I thought sex was suppose to be exactly the way it was shown in porn movies. My entire perception of women sexually was based on what I saw in porn once a women was turned on. I also was under the impression that almost every women hated and dispised sex unless she was really turned on enough that she couldn't resist. Only men masturbated for fun, women only did it on camera for money.

So, yeah, having a real realtionship was quite an eye opener.

c. page
12-16-2008, 02:27 PM
This isn't really a joke when you're young. I first saw porn at 16 and, honest to goodness, until I had my first serious relationship in my early twenties, I thought sex was suppose to be exactly the way it was shown in porn movies. My entire perception of women sexually was based on what I saw in porn once a women was turned out. I also was under the impression that almost every women hated and dispised sex unless she was really turned on enough that she couldn't resist. Only men masturbated for fun, women only did it on camera for money.

So, yeah, having a real realtionship was quite an eye opener.

:shock:

wow. that's...mildly disturbing.

Marcdachamp
12-16-2008, 02:27 PM
Oh so fucking true.

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
12-16-2008, 02:43 PM
Some women can.

Sure.

schizorabbit
12-16-2008, 03:30 PM
Some women can.


Sure.

Scout's honor, one of my last girlfriends could have an orgasm in less than ten minutes, closer to five, if I banged her a certain way at a certain angle. This girl, like a lot of guys, was exposed to a lot of porn and was very sexually aware of herself. She even freaked me out on a couple of occasions. Then again, had another girlfriend, took her over an hour to have an orgasm. I think my jaw locked on more than a handful of times.

lonesomefool
12-16-2008, 03:51 PM
The problem is more in people's expectations. So many young men and women these days expect their love life to be like a love song and when it isnt, they cant take it. That and their expectations are so fucking out of sync with reality it isnt even funny anymore. Now it's just sad.

schizorabbit
12-16-2008, 03:53 PM
The problem is more in people's expectations. So many young men and women these days expect their love life to be like a love song and when it isnt, they cant take it. That and their expectations are so fucking out of sync with reality it isnt even funny anymore. Now it's just sad.

A while back, I remember watching an episode of Sally Jesse Raphael or something like that, and the episode dealt with women who were obsessed with watching their wedding videos. This one lady would walk around her house in her wedding dress all the time and watch her wedding video every day, and was depressed all the time. These women didn't realize that there was life after the "Happily Ever After" happy endings.

People should watch more porn.

EDIT:
And Married With Children

lonesomefool
12-16-2008, 03:59 PM
A while back, I remember watching an episode of Sally Jesse Raphael or something like that, and the episode dealt with women who were obsessed with watching their wedding videos. This one lady would walk around her house in her wedding dress all the time and watch her wedding video every day, and was depressed all the time.

People should watch more porn.

That is sad.

I think it's a bunch of factors today that have hurt relationships, but I also think the numbers and stats are inflated a bit as well. It's a lot easier to leave someone and survive on your own, than it was in 1950.

But its a bunch of things, it isnt just porn and men expecting women to be like that or romantic comedies, a lot of it starts at home, and like I said unrealistic expectations.

Marc Lombardi
12-16-2008, 04:32 PM
Yep...that study pretty much nailed my ex-girlfriend's taste in movies and her personality to a tee.

Mylazycat
12-16-2008, 04:49 PM
:shock:

wow. that's...mildly disturbing.

I was 16-19, I'd lead a sheltered life. What can I say?

Meeting my girlfriend and getting to know her as a whole was amazing.

Marcdachamp
12-16-2008, 11:03 PM
Yep...that study pretty much nailed my ex-girlfriend's taste in movies and her personality to a tee.

Same boat.

Gavin
12-17-2008, 04:26 AM
I love that the other test group watched a David Lynch film. I wish the article said which one.

Marc Lombardi
12-17-2008, 04:31 AM
I love that the other test group watched a David Lynch film. I wish the article said which one.
That test group probably started beating their spouses and sucking gas from a nitrous tank.

The candy colored clown they called the Sandman....

Gavin
12-17-2008, 04:33 AM
That test group probably started beating their spouses and sucking gas from a nitrous tank.

The candy colored clown they called the Sandman....

:lol:

xyzzy
12-17-2008, 05:14 AM
Dear people who did this study,

Thank you for spending lots of time and effort to glean information most men have been trying to tell most women since we were first forced to watch these movies.

We're all glad you finally caught up but also fuck you for taking so long to get here.

If you could stop making these shitty movies now that would be great.

Sincerely,

Men Everywhere.

Men do this to.

What it comes down to is that a successful relationship takes hard work and a willingness to stick to it through thick and thin from both parties. I think that there are at least as many men as women that just give up when things get tough.

TheTravis!
12-17-2008, 05:25 AM
Some women can.

We're not talking about your mom right now.

schizorabbit
12-17-2008, 06:08 AM
I love that the other test group watched a David Lynch film. I wish the article said which one.

Maybe Lost Highway? That had a fucked up view on relationships. Definitely not Serendipishit.

Gavin
12-17-2008, 06:19 AM
Maybe Lost Highway? That had a fucked up view on relationships. Definitely not Serendipishit.

I was thinking Blue Velvet.

schizorabbit
12-17-2008, 06:20 AM
I was thinking Blue Velvet.

But Blue Velvet had the saccharine sweet ending with the robins, everybody smiling in the sunshine.

Wait a second...

I just remembered all the crazy shit before that happy ending.

Gavin
12-17-2008, 06:22 AM
But Blue Velvet had the saccharine sweet ending with the robins, everybody smiling in the sunshine.

Wait a second...

I just remembered all the crazy shit before that happy ending.

I've actually never seen Lost Highway or Blue Velvet.

Patch
12-17-2008, 06:22 AM
The flip side of this is a man's unrealistic expectation that a relationship will mean sex everywhere all the time. Hey, she's reaching over to get laundry out of the dryer? Let's have sex. Hey, everything moves when you brush your teeth. Let's have sex. Hey, when you change that light bulb your back kinda curves. Let's have sex.

Not talking from personal experience :) ...just sayin'.

PeterSparker
12-17-2008, 06:59 AM
I used to think this stuff was all a bunch of crap too, ... but then one day when I was 12 I made a wish on a fortune teller machine at the carnival, I woke up the next day ... and I was all grown up! My mom totally flipped, so me and my best buddy found me a place to stay in the city while I tried to figure this all out. In the meantime I got a job at a toy company. Before I knew it, the boss had taken notice of me and wanted to give my ideas a chance. Meanwhile the head of my department didn't care so much for my approach at all, and we didn't get along, as he feared I was out for his job. Not only that but I think he feared I was also out for his girl, but I wasn't! Well ... not at first anyway ... I mean I didn't even like stupid girls, but this one was different and the more time we spent together the more I started to think she was kinda cool. And then believe it or not, she became my girlfriend. I eventually found that machine again and went back to being 12, but once I grew back up for real I crashed at her place a lot. She had all the adult channels on cable, and was really into having sex all the time.

So, yeah I was cynical about romantic comedies myself and thought they did more harm than good. Then fate stepped in that special day ...

schizorabbit
12-17-2008, 07:06 AM
I've actually never seen Lost Highway or Blue Velvet.

Duuuuuuuuuuude. You. Must. Rent. Now. They even released--sometime recently--a newly remastered edition of Blue Velvet. I saw that movie in a theater, having no idea what to expect. What a traumatizing yet cathartic movie experience.


The flip side of this is a man's unrealistic expectation that a relationship will mean sex everywhere all the time. Hey, she's reaching over to get laundry out of the dryer? Let's have sex. Hey, everything moves when you brush your teeth. Let's have sex. Hey, when you change that light bulb your back kinda curves. Let's have sex.

Not talking from personal experience :) ...just sayin'.

My personal experience is that the first six weeks of a good relationship is sex all the time--after an afternoon jog, sex; after a morning shower, sex, or sex during the shower; a chance to synchronise lunch breaks, sex; nothing on tv, sex--this period (the most fun part of a relationship) is sometimes unfortunately followed by the I'm-not-sure-if-I-love-you-and-need-some-time-apart stage, which can be called the masturbation all the time stage--in the morning shower, sex...by one; nothing on tv, sex...by one...

Ultimate Lurker
12-17-2008, 07:57 AM
My wife quit reading Nicholas Sparks books because of stuff like this. She found her expectations changed and was sad she didn't have what was in those books.

Generic Poster
12-17-2008, 07:59 AM
My wife quit reading Nicholas Sparks books because of stuff like this. She found her expectations changed and was sad she didn't have what was in those books.

Good thing she didn't take the "divorce Ultimate Lurker" option.

Ben
12-17-2008, 08:00 AM
Sure.:scared:

Generic Poster
12-17-2008, 08:00 AM
The flip side of this is a man's unrealistic expectation that a relationship will mean sex everywhere all the time. Hey, she's reaching over to get laundry out of the dryer? Let's have sex. Hey, everything moves when you brush your teeth. Let's have sex. Hey, when you change that light bulb your back kinda curves. Let's have sex.

Not talking from personal experience :) ...just sayin'.

I don't actually expect to have sex everywhere all the time, but I will say that pretty much all the situations you describe make me want to have sex.

Ben
12-17-2008, 08:01 AM
We're not talking about your mom right now.Are you saying my mom's not a woman!!?

Generic Poster
12-17-2008, 08:01 AM
:scared:

I wasn't certain whether that was meant to actually be a "sure" or if it was a really a "suuuuuuuuure."

Generic Poster
12-17-2008, 08:02 AM
Are you saying my mom's not a woman!!?

I can't believe you didn't point out that your mom is dead.

Ben
12-17-2008, 08:03 AM
The flip side of this is a man's unrealistic expectation that a relationship will mean sex everywhere all the time. Hey, she's reaching over to get laundry out of the dryer? Let's have sex.

Not talking from personal experience :) ...just sayin'.http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/4435/maryjanexn8.jpg

Are you trying to say you have sex with statues?

Ben
12-17-2008, 08:04 AM
I can't believe you didn't point out that your mom is dead.Are you saying my dead mom isn't a woman?!?!? :angry:

James H
12-17-2008, 08:05 AM
Hey, the article is right. Shaun of the Dead really raised my expectations for what I want in a relationship.

Ultimate Lurker
12-17-2008, 08:59 AM
Good thing she didn't take the "divorce Ultimate Lurker" option.

:scared: