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View Full Version : Scary penis man just called me.



Keith P.
10-27-2008, 07:58 AM
So I went out on Saturday night. Me and my friend Josh were hanging out in a bar here in town called the 501 Eagle. It's kind of a sleazy leather bar.

Anyway, as I was chilling this guy I had been looking at and that I knew was checking me out came up and talked to me.He was kind of do-able, not something I was ga-ga over, but decent.

So we are just chatting, nothing sexual and watching the television screens that were showing videos and he asked me what I thought of one of the guys and I was like "not my type...too hairless"

He was kind of like "Yeah, I wish I had more hair, but I have a 12 inch dick so I'm fine with that." I kind of laughed thinking he was just joking.

So about an hour later I was standing upstairs just kind of chilling and this guy comes up to me, and is like "I have something I want to show you." And he whips it out.

He was not lying. AT ALL.

So I gave him my number and he just called and left me a voicemail and wants to do something later on.

Eeeek!

Akira
10-27-2008, 08:01 AM
I take it you're not a "size queen"? If you can't see yourself doing it, can't you just politely decline because he's too big?

jason hissong
10-27-2008, 08:01 AM
Bring the AstroGlide.

Hock
10-27-2008, 08:01 AM
If there's one thing I envy about homosexuals, it's that it appears much more socially acceptable to just whip it out in front of prospective sexual partners.

Whip
10-27-2008, 08:07 AM
...12 inches soft?

Keith P.
10-27-2008, 08:09 AM
...12 inches soft?

No he had a boner.

Whip
10-27-2008, 08:10 AM
No he had a boner.

OH. Well...

Hn. Hmmm...

Keith P.
10-27-2008, 08:12 AM
OH. Well...

Hn. Hmmm...

He said he was bisexual, you want his number?

Whip
10-27-2008, 08:15 AM
He said he was bisexual, you want his number?

Taken. =X

cPol
10-27-2008, 08:22 AM
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/104512/bachlor_party_nick_the_dick/

Brian Defferding
10-27-2008, 08:38 AM
Wouldn't that hurt more? That's gotta hurt. I wouldn't be surprised a bisexual hung like that has some stories of partners losing bowel control after awhile.

Ryudo
10-27-2008, 08:40 AM
This thread shall now be known as Project Deepthroat.

jess
10-27-2008, 08:56 AM
...12 inches soft?

My thoughts exactly :lol:

Howlett
10-27-2008, 09:02 AM
Keith, the stories of your life never cease to amaze, entertain and disturb me. All at the same time :lol:

Nick Spencer
10-27-2008, 09:05 AM
12? 12 sounds like a bit much, dude. But hey, it's an experience, I guess!

Keith P.
10-27-2008, 09:11 AM
At one point my friend Josh, who is HUGE power bottom size queen got to see it and was like "I think...I have finally seen a penis that frightens me."

xanderharris
10-27-2008, 09:15 AM
keith, the stories of your life never cease to amaze, entertain and disturb me. All at the same time :lol:

qft

Doc Randy
10-27-2008, 09:48 AM
Funny article from Rolling Stone about a "big member" (http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5938137/mr_big)

copypastepuke
10-27-2008, 09:54 AM
i think keith p needs a blog for his sexual encounters, cause i know i would want to rss feed it.
its like literotica but with things going terribly wrong!

Kedd
10-27-2008, 10:01 AM
12 inchers are scary I imagine. I won't explain the circumstances, but I once saw a guy with an at least 12 inch penis and I was afraid for my life and the life of everyone around me.

Benel Germosen
10-27-2008, 10:31 AM
If there's one thing I envy about homosexuals, it's that it appears much more socially acceptable to just whip it out in front of prospective sexual partners.

Agreed.

Keith P.
10-27-2008, 11:02 AM
I cannot even imagine what its like to go through life with something like that.

My ex Tom was big. About 10 inches and when guys found out they would literally throw themselves at him constantly.

I was once drunk at a party and made a comment about it and I had to spend the rest of the night fighting guys off. Size queens are in my experience, the norm for gay men.

TheTravis!
10-27-2008, 11:08 AM
Someone should make a superhero comic book called "Scary Penis Man".

Kedd
10-27-2008, 01:02 PM
If there's one thing I envy about homosexuals, it's that it appears much more socially acceptable to just whip it out in front of prospective sexual partners.

Seconded.

HoneyDippinDan
10-27-2008, 11:27 PM
Someone should make a superhero comic book called "Scary Penis Man".

You mean this guy isn't good enough for you?

http://i35.tinypic.com/2w2fo02.jpg

HoneyDippinDan
10-27-2008, 11:28 PM
http://www.cracked.com/video_16654_what-its-really-like-have-worlds-largest-penis.html

TRILL, THE CARBON BASED LIFEFORM
10-28-2008, 12:33 AM
One word for you: prolapse.

danlomb
10-28-2008, 01:46 AM
I know it's a bit of a cliche joke, but how DOES that guy NOT pass out from the blood rush to his dick whenever he gets a boner?!

AmirLehman
10-28-2008, 03:53 AM
http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/8845/legendarythreadlk3.jpg

Hate_Prime
10-28-2008, 04:18 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYlDbv7MqE8

Roman Noodles
10-28-2008, 05:24 AM
No he had a boner.

:? . . . just like that? And this didn't disturb you in the least? :lol:

TheTravis!
10-28-2008, 06:00 AM
:? . . . just like that? And this didn't disturb you in the least? :lol:

Keith works under the assumption that anyone talking to him should have a boner.

Keith P.
11-02-2008, 08:40 AM
He just called me. wants me to come over this afternoon.

Brian Defferding
11-02-2008, 08:45 AM
He wants you to come over what? ;)

I hope you did some butt exercises this morning.

c. page
11-02-2008, 08:57 AM
Keith, the stories of your life never cease to amaze, entertain and disturb me. All at the same time :lol:

agreed. this should actually be the tag line for all of keith's stories...


Keith works under the assumption that anyone talking to him should have a boner.

:lol:

Len Snark
11-02-2008, 09:04 AM
Go over to his house on Tuesday, but only give it up if Obama wins.

Master Jack Rabbitt
11-02-2008, 09:08 AM
:eek: Good luck

Brandon Reynolds
11-03-2008, 01:17 AM
You still intact, Keith?

Keith P.
11-03-2008, 10:53 AM
You still intact, Keith?

Yes. I wouldn't let him go there. Not on the first date.


So, we are having dinner and he asks the inevitable "Why don't you have a boyfriend" question.

So I asked him the same thing and his answer was "I snore."

I was like WTF? You snore, big deal, and he told me he's a very loud snorer.


I got to experience this first hand.

MY GOD.

I didn't sleep at all. Not a wink. I have never, ever, ever heard anything even approaching this come out of a human beings mouth/nose. words simply cannot even begin to describe it. I felt like I was on a contruction site.

Poor guy. I mean it was literally the most insane thing ever. And I have shared a bed with a lot of guys and this was just...crazy.

Nick Spencer
11-03-2008, 10:56 AM
Not on the first date.

Okay, who hacked Keith's account??? :)

HoneyDippinDan
11-03-2008, 11:08 AM
Yes. I wouldn't let him go there. Not on the first date.


So, we are having dinner and he asks the inevitable "Why don't you have a boyfriend" question.

So I asked him the same thing and his answer was "I snore."

I was like WTF? You snore, big deal, and he told me he's a very loud snorer.


I got to experience this first hand.

MY GOD.

I didn't sleep at all. Not a wink. I have never, ever, ever heard anything even approaching this come out of a human beings mouth/nose. words simply cannot even begin to describe it. I felt like I was on a contruction site.

Poor guy. I mean it was literally the most insane thing ever. And I have shared a bed with a lot of guys and this was just...crazy.

MY GOD! Could it be that his penis is so big it caused his septum to deviate?

Keith P.
11-03-2008, 11:19 AM
MY GOD! Could it be that his penis is so big it caused his septum to deviate?

I dunno.

He talked in his sleep too. A LOT.

Keith P.
11-03-2008, 02:30 PM
Oh yeah, , last night he offered me a ciallis, and like an idiot I said "what the hell!"

So all day today I have been getting spontaneous, and persistent erections at the slightest provocation.

It was awkward at the gym to say the least.

brianhalpin
11-03-2008, 02:33 PM
I'm drawn to Keith P. threads like a moth to a gay flame.

woljed
11-03-2008, 02:34 PM
oh yeah, , last night he offered me a ciallis, and like an idiot i said "what the hell!"

so all day today i have been getting spontaneous, and persistent erections at the slightest provocation.

It was awkward at the gym to say the least.

lmao

Nick Spencer
11-03-2008, 02:50 PM
Oh yeah, , last night he offered me a ciallis, and like an idiot I said "what the hell!"

So all day today I have been getting spontaneous, and persistent erections at the slightest provocation.

It was awkward at the gym to say the least.

I've wanted to start a thread about this subject before, and, distinctly out of character, I never have.

Kedd
11-03-2008, 02:53 PM
I dunno.

He talked in his sleep too. A LOT.

About what?

Busman
11-03-2008, 03:09 PM
About what?

Whatever he damned well pleases.

He's got a 12 inch dick.

Kedd
11-03-2008, 03:16 PM
I imagine, that if I had a 12 inch cock, I would never wear pants. Or that all my pants would at least be crotchless