Share a secret thread

[Gordon Chumway]

It seems like the last couple of months everyone of my outside the internet friends has been dumping shit on me I'm not allowed to tell anyone else. Well today was the last straw, I'm telling you guys.

Christina got preggers but I can't say anything to Conor because she doesn't know who the daddy is.

She told Noah and the SAME DAY he decided he was moving to LA.

I know this doesn't make much sense, but I needed to unload.

Also I'm eloping August 23rd and keeping it a secret from the band so they don't feel bad about not being invited.

[Jason California]

My brother Alex is dating our sisters roommate and best friend Natalie. I am not supposed to tell Sheena this at all.

[ZombieSpeedball]

It's times like this I wish I had something good to share. No one tells me secrets, which is weird when I usually wind up acting as the official therapist to my friends.

[Dr. Blasphemy]

I once shot a man just for snoring....

[Gordon Chumway]

My brother Alex is dating our sisters roommate and best friend Natalie. I am not supposed to tell Sheena this at all.

That's exactly the shit I'm talking about!

[markgrayson]

My sister thinks her fiancee is lazy as hell, and has thought about aborting her baby.

[Jason California]

That's exactly the shit I'm talking about!


Anything to help one of your threads out Gordo.

[SMACK!]

Shit. I thought that you were going to post links to secret threads.

[DaGetHighKnight]

My very good friend's wife just left him and started dating my other good friend , Neither know eachother and it was a coincidence that my other friend even met my friends Ex wife.
I have not mentioned this to my heartbroken friend cause my other friend whos dating his ex wife just survived cancer and is just starting to live his life.

crazy.

[schizorabbit]

My very good friend's wife just left him and started dating my other good friend , Neither know eachother and it was a coincidence that my other friend even met my friends Ex wife.
I have not mentioned this to my heartbroken friend cause my other friend whos dating his ex wife just survived cancer and is just starting to live his life.

crazy.

Damn, that is crazy.

[Jason California]

My very good friend's wife just left him and started dating my other good friend , Neither know eachother and it was a coincidence that my other friend even met my friends Ex wife.
I have not mentioned this to my heartbroken friend cause my other friend whos dating his ex wife just survived cancer and is just starting to live his life.

crazy.


You should end that shit right now.

One night I am out with my friend Brad. We had been friends with each other for 5 years. My friend Danielle (friends for 7) called me to find out what I was doing. She met up with us that night and the 2 of them clicked. The ended up getting married.

Danielle was my Sally. That all changed when they got married.

Then their mairage went south and I got caught in the middle.

I am no longer friends with either of them due to things that went down. This makes me sad.

And before you think it I never had sex with her after they met.

[schizorabbit]

You should end that shit right now.

One night I am out with my friend Brad. We had been friends with each other for 5 years. My friend Danielle (friends for 7) called me to find out what I was doing. She met up with us that night and the 2 of them clicked. The ended up getting married.

Danielle was my Sally. That all changed when they got married.

Then their mairage went south and I got caught in the middle.

I am no longer friends with either of them due to things that went down. This makes me sad.

And before you think it I never had sex with here after they met.

Sooooo, you're hinting that you had sex with him? Do I win something? ;)

[EdNEMO]

I once threw a guy through a screen door and down some steps at a party for touching my comics. Then when the ambulance and the cops came by, I got everyone to agree that he had drunkenly kicked the door out and fell down the stairs.

My horrible ex-girlfriend had a "party" at my house while I was trying to sleep since I had to be up at 5:30am to go to work and I got up and saw some idiot I didn't know going through my comics.

The guy later apollogized to me.

EDIT: I don't have any good sex-drama stories.

[Ashwin Pande]

I think my fridge might be alive.

And I think it's got a bad case of diarrhea...

[Rod Nunley]

I would share a secret, but then it wouldn't be a secret anymore so there would have been no point in telling you. It's a paradox.

[Jason California]

Sooooo, you're hinting that you had sex with him? Do I win something? ;)


Here I thought I was cutting the joke off before ti happened when all I did was set up one that was worse.

[schizorabbit]

Here I thought I was cutting the joke off before ti happened when all I did was set up one that was worse.

It's one of the top 5 lessons of life.

And shhhhhhhh, don't worry. I'll keep your secret. ;)

[Susan BANthony]

Shannon (no, not that one) got chlamydia and didn't know who gave it to her.

[copypastepuke]

i am going to quit my job and emtpy my 401k plans and take the money to move someplace and live in warm weather for winter

id rather pay the ten percent penalty now while it is low amounts than wait until im 65 to use the money

[copypastepuke]

I once threw a guy through a screen door and down some steps at a party for touching my comics. Then when the ambulance and the cops came by, I got everyone to agree that he had drunkenly kicked the door out and fell down the stairs.

My horrible ex-girlfriend had a "party" at my house while I was trying to sleep since I had to be up at 5:30am to go to work and I got up and saw some idiot I didn't know going through my comics.

The guy later apollogized to me.

EDIT: I don't have any good sex-drama stories.
is there more to this story or are you really really protective of your stories

[schizorabbit]

is there more to this story or are you really really protective of your stories


"DON'T...YOU...FUCKIN'...DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TOUCH MY COMICS!!!!!!" I picture spit flyin' everywhere.

[Jason California]

It's one of the top 5 lessons of life.

And shhhhhhhh, don't worry. I'll keep your secret. ;)


Well, I have now learned that lesson.

[EdNEMO]

is there more to this story or are you really really protective of your stories

No, there really isn't too much more to the story. I don't like anyone touching my stuff. I don't like parties, and I don't like strangers in my house.

I woke up because it was noisy and my understanding was that my ex was going to have a few friends over not 15. So, I got up to tell them to shut the Hell up and saw some guy in my comic room going through my books. I had no idea who he was so I yelled at him and he turned and got mouthy with me. So I grabbed him and dragged him to the door where he started trying to fight me and then I picked him up and threw him through the door and down the stairs. Then I told everyone that they would be following him if they didn't shut up. Then someone noticed he was bleeding from the head so they called an ambulance. And I told them he had gone into my closed off room and was going through my stuff. And when the police came, they talked to everyone, realized the guy was drunk, no one knew who he was, and the person he had come with and already left. Later when I was working at the bar he came up and said he was sorry for touching my stuff. And I told him I would not throw him through the bar door. Because I am nice like that.

What's really funny is that this whole situation is pretty tame. I've gotten into a lot of situations over the years but I would not talk about them on the internet.

[copypastepuke]

"DON'T...YOU...FUCKIN'...DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TOUCH MY COMICS!!!!!!" I picture spit flyin' everywhere.
the oil from your fingers is RUINING THEIR VALUEEEE ARRRRRRRGHH:hulk:

[copypastepuke]

No, there really isn't too much more to the story. I don't like anyone touching my stuff. I don't like parties, and I don't like strangers in my house.

I woke up because it was noisy and my understanding was that my ex was going to have a few friends over not 15. So, I got up to tell them to shut the Hell up and saw some guy in my comic room going through my books. I had no idea who he was so I yelled at him and he turned and got mouthy with me. So I grabbed him and dragged him to the door where he started trying to fight me and then I picked him up and threw him through the door and down the stairs. Then I told everyone that they would be following him if they didn't shut up. Then someone noticed he was bleeding from the head so they called an ambulance. And I told them he had gone into my closed off room and was going through my stuff. And when the police came, they talked to everyone, realized the guy was drunk, no one knew who he was, and the person he had come with and already left. Later when I was working at the bar he came up and said he was sorry for touching my stuff. And I told him I would not throw him through the bar door. Because I am nice like that.

What's really funny is that this whole situation is pretty tame. I've gotten into a lot of situations over the years but I would not talk about them on the internet.
i know party situations can get out of hand and i know its weird when someone is going through your stuff, and i wouldnt tolerate anyone being mouthy to me in my home either, but its funny to hear someone getting thrown out on their ass because they touched your comic books. its just a really funny story. id like to see it drawn out like a comic book with a KAPOW and a giant THROWD ballooin with a picture of him going out the door like the fresh prince of bel air

[modungo]

I'm the real slim shady and yet i refuse to stand up, even though i have been asked nicely.
Also, I let the dogs out. It was me. This whole time.

[niceguyeddie]

I'm the real slim shady and yet i refuse to stand up, even though i have been asked nicely.
Also, I let the dogs out. It was me. This whole time.

but did you or did you not steal the cookies from the cookie jar??

[Gordon Chumway]

but did you or did you not steal the cookies from the cookie jar??

and does he know the muffin man?

[thatguyfromsyracuse]

and does he know the muffin man?

The Muffin Man?

[Gordon Chumway]

The Muffin Man?

The Muffin Man!

[thatguyfromsyracuse]

The Muffin Man!

That lives on Drury Lane?

[Gordon Chumway]

Here's a secret, I hate getting soap in the pee hole.