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EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:28 AM
Today at the nearby Books a Million, I got into a fight in the Sci-fi comics aisle with a complete douche. As he was reading a copy of Ultimate Spider-Man, while standing in the aisle, I thought he might be on this board somewhere. Well, if you are in Richmond, VA about 6'5" and stupid enough to start a fight with a guy while wearing sandels, let me know...I would love to get your view on what the Hell you were doing.

Bill!
06-02-2008, 10:30 AM
Not quite enough info there. How did it start?

Masculine Todd
06-02-2008, 10:33 AM
Misanthropy is fun!

Genius J
06-02-2008, 10:33 AM
A fist fight, or a nerd argument? Big difference.

And what are the details of said fight?

Masculine Todd
06-02-2008, 10:33 AM
Did you scuff his Pumas?

Brian Defferding
06-02-2008, 10:33 AM
Give us the goods man! Spill it!

Gregory
06-02-2008, 10:34 AM
I'm confused as to who was wearing the sandals.

Flonk
06-02-2008, 10:34 AM
He was probably trying to read some comics, and didn't want an overly sensitive, non-sandal wearing douche to bother him.

Evan the Shaggy
06-02-2008, 10:35 AM
Today at the nearby Books a Million, I got into a fight in the Sci-fi comics aisle with a complete douche. As he was reading a copy of Ultimate Spider-Man, while standing in the aisle, I thought he might be on this board somewhere. Well, if you are in Richmond, VA about 6'5" and stupid enough to start a fight with a guy while wearing sandels, let me know...I would love to get your view on what the Hell you were doing.

Did you think it was me? Haha.

Like a physical fist fight or a verbal one?

ClintP
06-02-2008, 10:37 AM
I don't get into fights since I never leave my house... People are nuts out there!

TheKraken
06-02-2008, 10:38 AM
Man, he really is a Trouble Boy...

bartleby
06-02-2008, 10:39 AM
Please tell me it was over who would win in a fight between Captain America and Batman.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:39 AM
Not quite enough info there. How did it start?

I was off work today and went in to pick up a novel to read while I had a nice liesurely lunch (The local comic shop is closed on Monday). As I walked into the Sci-Fi aisle, there was a guy standing there reading an Ultimate Spidey trade that he had obviously picked up in another part of the store. H was large and standing in the middle of the row, and I quite politely said, "pardon me" and moved to go by him and he stuck his hand out on my chest and told me to "Fuck off". We scuffled a bit and without going into too much detail, I knocked him down. Then I decided standing over a guy I had just put on the floor of a bookstore was a bad idea. I left and went to Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy of Mike Carey's "The Devil You Know" and went to Red Lobster.

And now that I think about it, I'm pissed. It's possible that it is someone I have thrown out of any number of clubs, or just someone I've gotten into it with who knows where. But, I am fairly sure the guy was just a tool. And it really pisses me off. I am always very polite, but this just blows my mind. I could understand something like this happening down in the Bottom of Richmond or someplace similar, but this happened in the freakin' suburbs.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:40 AM
Please tell me it was over who would win in a fight between Captain America and Batman.

That would have been much more interesting...and the answer is Batman.

ClintP
06-02-2008, 10:42 AM
What a jerk. And bravo for putting him on his ass for telling you to fuck off.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:42 AM
Man, he really is a Trouble Boy...

Actually since I am no longer Bouncing, the only fighting I get into is my twice a week teaching sessions I do. I've never spent a minute in jail and
I would like to keep up that winning streak.

Bill!
06-02-2008, 10:42 AM
I was off work today and went in to pick up a novel to read while I had a nice liesurely lunch (The local comic shop is closed on Monday). As I walked into the Sci-Fi aisle, there was a guy standing there reading an Ultimate Spidey trade that he had obviously picked up in another part of the store. H was large and standing in the middle of the row, and I quite politely said, "pardon me" and moved to go by him and he stuck his hand out on my chest and told me to "Fuck off". We scuffled a bit and without going into too much detail, I knocked him down. Then I decided standing over a guy I had just put on the floor of a bookstore was a bad idea. I left and went to Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy of Mike Carey's "The Devil You Know" and went to Red Lobster.

And now that I think about it, I'm pissed. It's possible that it is someone I have thrown out of any number of clubs, or just someone I've gotten into it with who knows where. But, I am fairly sure the guy was just a tool. And it really pisses me off. I am always very polite, but this just blows my mind. I could understand something like this happening down in the Bottom of Richmond or someplace similar, but this happened in the freakin' suburbs.

Yeah, the guy sounds like an asshole. SOmetimes the people you run into in everyday life aren't worth existing.

ClintP
06-02-2008, 10:42 AM
Actually since I am no longer Bouncing, the only fighting I get into is my twice a week teaching sessions I do. I've never spent a minute in jail and
I would like to keep up that winning streak.

Sounds like you were the wrong person to fuck with. An ex bouncer and a fighting teacher? :lol:

Gregory
06-02-2008, 10:44 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:44 AM
What a jerk. And bravo for putting him on his ass for telling you to fuck off.

Actually, I can handle people telling me to fuck off, I tell them the same and go about my business. Pushing me on the other hand is not allowed.

And to answer the question of "Who was wearing the sandels?" It was the other guy, I was wearing my super-cool dork outfit of knee length shorts and steel toed boots.

Buk Was Right
06-02-2008, 10:45 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

Seriously.

ClintP
06-02-2008, 10:46 AM
Actually, I can handle people telling me to fuck off, I tell them the same and go about my business. Pushing me on the other hand is not allowed.

And to answer the question of "Who was wearing the sandels?" It was the other guy, I was wearing my super-cool dork outfit of knee length shorts and steel toed boots.

Ah hell. He was fucked from the start.

Flonk
06-02-2008, 10:46 AM
That would have been much more interesting...and the answer is Batman.

Well yeah. Captain America is dead. :roll:

Ashton
06-02-2008, 10:46 AM
you should have kicked him in the nuts (about 3 times) before walking off just for good measure.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:49 AM
Sounds like you were the wrong person to fuck with. An ex bouncer and a fighting teacher? :lol:

That is one of the things that is bothering me. People normally don't mess with me. Not because I look like some bad-ass or anything, but I am pretty big and I am confident, two things that usually make people give me a wide berth. I got home and started analyzing it, (and thinking about the police showing up), and I just have no idea what happened. The guy was really big, but I am betting was in his early twenties. I was smart and didn't hit him, just twisted him up a bit, so there shouldn't be any marks. But, as I am not on anyone's payroll for that stuff anymore, I will need to get a lawyer if something happens because of this.

Buk Was Right
06-02-2008, 10:49 AM
http://www.esquire.com/features/man-at-his-best/punching1207

A good article about why sometimes you just have to punch a jerk.

RyanP
06-02-2008, 10:49 AM
The only thing that could have made that story better is if you said you spit on him after knocking him to the ground.

Garth
06-02-2008, 10:50 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

This was funny enough by itself. But then looking at your avatar, it adds a whole new level.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 10:53 AM
The only thing that could have made that story better is if you said you spit on him after knocking him to the ground.

Heh, no, when I let him go, I looked around for video cameras and then left. My plan was to talk to a store manager or something about it, but I didn't see one and instead decided to leave quickly. It's not a good feeling knowing that you can get into trouble for something like that. I had a similar instance at a Food Lion a long time ago that kept me up for two nights while I waited for a knock on the door by the police and watched the news for a report of it. Granted that was a bit more serious, it still gets you.

Garth
06-02-2008, 10:54 AM
Heh, no, when I let him go, I looked around for video cameras and then left. My plan was to talk to a store manager or something about it, but I didn't see one and instead decided to leave quickly. It's not a good feeling knowing that you can get into trouble for something like that. I had a similar instance at a Food Lion a long time ago that kept me up for two nights while I waited for a knock on the door by the police and watched the news for a report of it. Granted that was a bit more serious, it still gets you.

Dude, you are kind of like a super hero.

Flonk
06-02-2008, 10:55 AM
...but you love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?

TIP
06-02-2008, 10:57 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

Let's make this happen.

T

The Hodag
06-02-2008, 10:59 AM
I'm trying to recreate this in my head and it doesn't quite make sense. Now, I get the Red Lobster part. I totally get it. But it's the events leading up to it that seem particularly weird.

So you were at a bookstore.

You're walking through the sci-fi section and Fattie there is blocking the aisle (I'm interpreting "large" here).

You say "Pardon me."

And then...

He just...out of nowhere...puts his hand to your chest and says, "Fuck off"?

:mistrust:

Wha?!

There's gotta be something missing here. Did I miss something?

Brian Defferding
06-02-2008, 10:59 AM
Did you knock him out, or knock him down? Was he unconcious for a moment or no?

Gregory
06-02-2008, 11:00 AM
There's gotta be something missing here. Did I miss something?


He was reading Ultimate Spidey. It's a gateway comic. It caused Columbine.

DAVE
06-02-2008, 11:03 AM
Reading Ultimate Spider-man...

Wearing sandels...

Did you just knock down Bendis?

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:03 AM
I'm trying to recreate this in my head and it doesn't quite make sense. Now, I get the Red Lobster part. I totally get it. But it's the events leading up to it that seem particularly weird.

So you were at a bookstore.

You're walking through the sci-fi section and Fattie there is blocking the aisle (I'm interpreting "large" here).

You say "Pardon me."

And then...

He just...out of nowhere...puts his hand to your chest and says, "Fuck off"?

:mistrust:

Wha?!

There's gotta be something missing here. Did I miss something?

Nope. That is what is really bothering me. There was no escalation at all. No glares, no arguing. From 0 to 60 almost immediately. The more I think about it, the only thing I can think of is, he is just a bully or he knew me or thought I was someone else. He had the frat boy football player build, so I am betting he is in college or something. And granted I am 32, but admittedly look younger. I have earings and a labret piercing and lots of tattoos, so maybe my look offended him, I don't know.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:08 AM
Did you knock him out, or knock him down? Was he unconcious for a moment or no?

No, I just grabbed his arm and we wrestled a bit and I put him in an elbow lock and put him on the floor. When he stopped fighting and said, "okay okay" I let him go. And that was really weird. I didn't know what to do at that point. So I left.

The Hodag
06-02-2008, 11:09 AM
Reading Ultimate Spider-man...

Wearing sandels...

Did you just knock down Bendis?

"Not like this!"

andrew french
06-02-2008, 11:10 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

word.

Jim T.
06-02-2008, 11:10 AM
Reading Ultimate Spider-man...

Wearing sandels...

Did you just knock down Bendis?

:lol:

Which would lead to the greatest thread of all time: "Some ashole jst knoced me dwn"

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:11 AM
Reading Ultimate Spider-man...

Wearing sandels...

Did you just knock down Bendis?

Nothing like that, just an observation. In my experience most people who are looking for trouble don't wear sandels. Too much chance of getting your feet crushed. I know I made sure to step on his feet.

The Hodag
06-02-2008, 11:12 AM
Nope. That is what is really bothering me. There was no escalation at all. No glares, no arguing. From 0 to 60 almost immediately. The more I think about it, the only thing I can think of is, he is just a bully or he knew me or thought I was someone else. He had the frat boy football player build, so I am betting he is in college or something. And granted I am 32, but admittedly look younger. I have earings and a labret piercing and lots of tattoos, so maybe my look offended him, I don't know.

That really is strange.

Do you have an offensive shirt on or anything? Like "Yay ABORTION!" or a LOLcat or something?

If not, I think you might just brought a little justice to a world of douchetards. And if so, rock on, you.

And maybe I ask what you ate at Red Lobster for your hero's repast?

Garth
06-02-2008, 11:13 AM
:lol:

Which would lead to the greatest thread of all time: "Some ashole jst knoced me dwn"

:lol:

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:14 AM
That really is strange.

Do you have an offensive shirt on or anything. Like "Yay ABORTION!" or a LOLcat or something?

If not, I think you might just brought a little justice to a world of douchetards. And if so, rock on, you.

And maybe I ask what you ate at Red Lobster for your hero's repast?

Nope a plain black t-shirt.

And I had the broiled platter of shrimp scampi, bay scallops, stuffed flounder, and lobster and sauce topped mashed potatoes. It was quite delicious.

Brian Defferding
06-02-2008, 11:15 AM
:lol:

Which would lead to the greatest thread of all time: "Some ashole jst knoced me dwn"

:rofl:

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 11:16 AM
No, I just grabbed his arm and we wrestled a bit and I put him in an elbow lock and put him on the floor. When he stopped fighting and said, "okay okay" I let him go. And that was really weird. I didn't know what to do at that point. So I left.

You should've reached down, picked up the Ultimate Spiderman he was reading and fling it far away as a victory gesture, or go, "Huh?...I eat superheroes for breakfast, biiiitch," or "Ultimate Spiderman? Hmmm, well, meet Ultimate Fighter."

And at Red Lobster, I would've celebrated Viking style. "GIVE ME A WENCH AND A GIANT MUG OF ALE!!!!" Then picked up the whole lobster, and take a bite into the shell...crunch...crunch...crunch!!!!!!

Jamie Howdeshell
06-02-2008, 11:20 AM
It's probably good that you cut and run since you both probably would have been charged if the police had gotten involved.

nihilance
06-02-2008, 11:21 AM
Heh, no, when I let him go, I looked around for video cameras and then left.

That's a real good way to give a camera a nice shot of your face.

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 11:24 AM
That is one of the things that is bothering me. People normally don't mess with me. Not because I look like some bad-ass or anything, but I am pretty big and I am confident, two things that usually make people give me a wide berth. I got home and started analyzing it, (and thinking about the police showing up), and I just have no idea what happened. The guy was really big, but I am betting was in his early twenties. I was smart and didn't hit him, just twisted him up a bit, so there shouldn't be any marks. But, as I am not on anyone's payroll for that stuff anymore, I will need to get a lawyer if something happens because of this.

I do a lot of criminal defense work (down here in Georgia), so let me play lawyer for a bit: I'm assuming he wasn't bruised or noticeably hurt in any other way, so worst case scenario here (IF you're telling the full story ;)) is that you might have gotten charged with simple battery (unlawful touching/hitting), which at most is, like, a fine and probation, and depending on jurisdiction, you may have a chance go to anger management and get your case dismissed. But I think a good argument can be made for self-defense; he "touched" you first, you got him away, then after subduing him, you let go. It's not like you spat on him afterwards and went "Stay down, bitch!" or anything lke that.

nihilance
06-02-2008, 11:27 AM
I do a lot of criminal defense work (down here in Georgia), so let me play lawyer for a bit: I'm assuming he wasn't bruised or noticeably hurt in any other way, so worst case scenario here (IF you're telling the full story ;)) is that you might have gotten charged with simple battery (unlawful touching/hitting), which at most is, like, a fine and probation, and depending on jurisdiction, you may have a chance go to anger management and get your case dismissed. But I think a good argument can be made for self-defense; he "touched" you first, you got him away, then after subduing him, you let go. It's not like you spat on him afterwards and went "Stay down, bitch!" or anything lke that.

He should have pulled the whole "keep it to yourself!" bit that Tim Robbins did in The Player, after accidentally killing the guy.

morlock with a day pass
06-02-2008, 11:28 AM
Nope a plain black t-shirt.

And I had the broiled platter of shrimp scampi, bay scallops, stuffed flounder, and lobster and sauce topped mashed potatoes. It was quite delicious. And afterwards I punched the waitress in her pregnant belly.

:P

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:29 AM
I do a lot of criminal defense work (down here in Georgia), so let me play lawyer for a bit: I'm assuming he wasn't bruised or noticeably hurt in any other way, so worst case scenario here (IF you're telling the full story ;)) is that you might have gotten charged with simple battery (unlawful touching/hitting), which at most is, like, a fine and probation, and depending on jurisdiction, you may have a chance go to anger management and get your case dismissed. But I think a good argument can be made for self-defense; he "touched" you first, you got him away, then after subduing him, you let go. It's not like you spat on him afterwards and went "Stay down, bitch!" or anything lke that.

I have a lot of experience dealing with this sort of thing. And I know I am in the right, (But proving that I am is the real issue) also I am comfortable that I used only the necessary force. (I learned while bouncing that if you don't give the rowdy patrons black eyes and busted noses, they usually don't feel the need to come back and make an issue of it.)

As for looking for a video camera, as it was only him and me it really becomes a sort of he said-she said situation. If the store had a camera it could be used to back up my claim of self-defense. Of course the cameras there are little black globes and you have no idea where they are pointing. But, if it comes up I will ask for those tapes.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:33 AM
Also, something just occurred to me. It seems weird to me that he could pick up a trade and then walk into an aisle and read it. And then cause an issue. Makes me wonder if he was stealing something or had some other sinister plot in mind. Unfortunately I can't really come up with any sinister plots centering around a Books a Million.

dasNdanger
06-02-2008, 11:34 AM
....I was wearing my super-cool dork outfit of knee length shorts and steel toed boots.....I have earings and a labret piercing and lots of tattoos, so maybe my look offended him, I don't know.

Okay - now I'm picturing a Goth UPS delivery guy...


das

CougarTrace
06-02-2008, 11:35 AM
It makes no sense to me how people can come to blows in a book store..sheesh

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 11:41 AM
I have a lot of experience dealing with this sort of thing. And I know I am in the right, (But proving that I am is the real issue) also I am comfortable that I used only the necessary force. (I learned while bouncing that if you don't give the rowdy patrons black eyes and busted noses, they usually don't feel the need to come back and make an issue of it.)

As for looking for a video camera, as it was only him and me it really becomes a sort of he said-she said situation. If the store had a camera it could be used to back up my claim of self-defense. Of course the cameras there are little black globes and you have no idea where they are pointing. But, if it comes up I will ask for those tapes.

In some weird bizarro scenario where you do face charges, remember that it's up to the prosecution to prove you're guilty beyond a reasonable doubt--not for you to prove your innocence, so this he-said-she-said thing is good for you.

Gunter
06-02-2008, 11:42 AM
It makes no sense to me how people can come to blows in a book store..sheesh

You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit!?

Gregory
06-02-2008, 11:42 AM
It makes no sense to me how people can come to blows in a book store..sheesh

Maybe Ed just needed a warm-up before cracking open the shells at Red Lobster.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 11:48 AM
In some weird bizarro scenario where you do face charges, remember that it's up to the prosecution to prove you're guilty beyond a reasonable doubt--not for you to prove your innocence, so this he-said-she-said thing is good for you.

I appreciate it. I really do! I have been involved in a lot of situations like this, usually centered around my bouncers. I've sat in some courtrooms. And we have always been victorious, other than having to pay for a lawyer. The way it normally goes is, we are told that someone is pressing assault charges, we in turn see the magistrate and press charges of our own, we bring in witnesses and the judge laughs them out of the court. I could tell you some great stories. But, those incidents usually make the bouncer decide to quit the job...and I can't say I blame them.

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 11:53 AM
I appreciate it. I really do! I have been involved in a lot of situations like this, usually centered around my bouncers. I've sat in some courtrooms. And we have always been victorious, other than having to pay for a lawyer. The way it normally goes is, we are told that someone is pressing assault charges, we in turn see the magistrate and press charges of our own, we bring in witnesses and the judge laughs them out of the court. I could tell you some great stories. But, those incidents usually make the bouncer decide to quit the job...and I can't say I blame them.

Yeah, I can easily see some pissed off patron filling out some application for an arrest warrant, going, "I'll show that fucker," only to have his case dismissed in court. Unless it's a blatant bully situation, don't see these types of cases being successful. I used to see this type of shit between neighbors (shit like fighting over who's cutting whose bush that escalates into something physical).

So in your story, I see zero problems for you. The only witnesses here were you and him. You know what would be great? If you were to go back to that same bookstore, and have a similar incident. Like Round 2.

Master Jack Rabbitt
06-02-2008, 11:53 AM
Now I want some Red Lobster

Flonk
06-02-2008, 11:57 AM
Now I want some Red Lobster

I was just thinking the other day about how I've never had Red Lobster.

Mr. E!
06-02-2008, 12:00 PM
So was it the BOM on Midlo, or over on Broad?

And honestly, I blame Frank. This is what happens when he keeps his doors shut on Mondays.

I AM GROOT!
06-02-2008, 12:01 PM
I was just thinking the other day about how I've never had Red Lobster.


:bansign:

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:07 PM
Now I want some Red Lobster

I'm eating some of their cheesy biscuits right now! :D

ClintP
06-02-2008, 12:09 PM
:bansign:

Once you have Newicks (http://www.newicks.com/), you can never have Red Lobster again...

ClintP
06-02-2008, 12:10 PM
I'm eating some of their cheesy biscuits right now! :D

mmm, now those are tasty. Eat one or two for me!

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:10 PM
So was it the BOM on Midlo, or over on Broad?

And honestly, I blame Frank. This is what happens when he keeps his doors shut on Mondays.

Midlo. And yeah, Frank will get a laugh out of it. If Frank's shop was open, none of this would have happened! Of course Frank will ask me why I didn't shoot him! :D

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:12 PM
mmm, now those are tasty. Eat one or two for me!

I had 3 so two of them were eaten in your name...and they were delicious.

Glixy
06-02-2008, 12:13 PM
Once you have Newicks (http://www.newicks.com/), you can never have Red Lobster again...

Dude, there is nothing BBQ'd on that entire menu!

JABSEN
06-02-2008, 12:13 PM
Once you have Newicks (http://www.newicks.com/), you can never have Red Lobster again...Do they have Cheddar bay Biscuits? I don't care about Red Lobster's food. It's all about the biscuits.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:19 PM
Yeah, I can easily see some pissed off patron filling out some application for an arrest warrant, going, "I'll show that fucker," only to have his case dismissed in court. Unless it's a blatant bully situation, don't see these types of cases being successful. I used to see this type of shit between neighbors (shit like fighting over who's cutting whose bush that escalates into something physical).

So in your story, I see zero problems for you. The only witnesses here were you and him. You know what would be great? If you were to go back to that same bookstore, and have a similar incident. Like Round 2.

The funniest story I have about that is one of the bouncers was throwing out a girl for fighting. Now, we are very careful when throwing out girls. He had this girl by the upper arms and was holding her out at arms length while she hit and kicked him. He gets her outside and lets her go, and that is when her 150 pound boyfriend decided to punch him in the back of the head. The bouncer (you'll notice I am not mentioning names here. :)) turned and punched the guy 3 times. Well, we called an ambulance for the guy. And thought nothing more of it until after hours during clean-up we get a call from the guy's father telling us he would be pressing charges against us. Now there would not have been an issue until this happened and so we pressed charges on both the girl and the guy. We went to court and the kids (College age) and their parents hadn't even dressed up. My bouncer who was an ex-Special Forces came in with his military dress complete with metals, explained the situation brought in a lot of people from the scene and the judge dismissed the charges against him and kept them for the two people who started it. And the bouncer quit because he didn't want it happening again.

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 12:23 PM
The funniest story I have about that is one of the bouncers was throwing out a girl for fighting. Now, we are very careful when throwing out girls. He had this girl by the upper arms and was holding her out at arms length while she hit and kicked him. He gets her outside and lets her go, and that is when her 150 pound boyfriend decided to punch him in the back of the head. The bouncer (you'll notice I am not mentioning names here. :)) turned and punched the guy 3 times. Well, we called an ambulance for the guy. And thought nothing more of it until after hours during clean-up we get a call from the guy's father telling us he would be pressing charges against us. Now there would not have been an issue until this happened and so we pressed charges on both the girl and the guy. We went to court and the kids (College age) and their parents hadn't even dressed up. My bouncer who was an ex-Special Forces came in with his military dress complete with metals, explained the situation brought in a lot of people from the scene and the judge dismissed the charges against him and kept them for the two people who started it. And the bouncer quit because he didn't want it happening again.

Niiiiiiiiiiiice. Well played. :)

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 12:27 PM
I was just thinking the other day about how I've never had Red Lobster.

Don't you know? Before you earn the right to Red Lobster, you have to be victorious in a smackdown. You gotta get all Conan on somebody: You must have crushed your enemy, seen him driven before you, and heard the lamentation of his woman before you can go, "Lobster tail and steak, please, and oh, with extra butter on the side."

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:29 PM
Niiiiiiiiiiiice. Well played. :)

Yeah, it always makes me laugh. I mean 99.9% of the time as a bouncer, if someone does something bad enough to be kicked out. We walk up and tell them they need to leave, if they don't, we walk them out. If they fight with us, well, it escalates from there. We have never lost a fight in those situations and it always blows me away that...why didn't you just leave when we asked you? Instead, you get beaten up and then taken away in a patrol car. I really love the ones that then fight with the cops...or pull knives. These guys get the crap beaten out of them by the cops and then taken to jail. Why not just leave? Or just act like a decent human being? I don't know.

Buk Was Right
06-02-2008, 12:32 PM
Yeah, it always makes me laugh. I mean 99.9% of the time as a bouncer, if someone does something bad enough to be kicked out. We walk up and tell them they need to leave, if they don't, we walk them out. If they fight with us, well, it escalates from there. We have never lost a fight in those situations and it always blows me away that...why didn't you just leave when we asked you? Instead, you get beaten up and then taken away in a patrol car. I really love the ones that then fight with the cops...or pull knives. These guys get the crap beaten out of them by the cops and then taken to jail. Why not just leave? Or just act like a decent human being? I don't know.

That's what I could never understand when bouncing... Even IF you manage to win a fight against the one bouncer you're fighting do you really think that that earns you a pass back into the bar?

If you call me a cocksucking bitch enough times will I see the error of my ways and allow you to stay?

Servo106
06-02-2008, 12:34 PM
more importantly how was red lobster?

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 12:35 PM
Yeah, it always makes me laugh. I mean 99.9% of the time as a bouncer, if someone does something bad enough to be kicked out. We walk up and tell them they need to leave, if they don't, we walk them out. If they fight with us, well, it escalates from there. We have never lost a fight in those situations and it always blows me away that...why didn't you just leave when we asked you? Instead, you get beaten up and then taken away in a patrol car. I really love the ones that then fight with the cops...or pull knives. These guys get the crap beaten out of them by the cops and then taken to jail. Why not just leave? Or just act like a decent human being? I don't know.

Some people become drunk assholes when they drink, I guess. I just finished a case today where my client was too drunk and rowdy at a bar, so they kicked him out. What does he do? Instead of going home or going some place else to drink, he decides to start kicking a total stranger's parked car--denting the license plate, breaking a taillight, etc.--until somebody calls the cops. Cops come and ask him why he damaged the car. "For something to do," was his response. My only statement in defense to the judge was, "Your honor, my client learned his lesson the hard way that alcohol and anger can only lead to stupid choices. And here he is...in front of you in court."

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:36 PM
That's what I could never understand when bouncing... Even IF you manage to win a fight against the one bouncer you're fighting do you really think that that earns you a pass back into the bar?

If you call me a cocksucking bitch enough times will I see the error of my ways and allow you to stay?

Oh yeah! My favorite are the people standing around outside after you bounce them out, screaming at you. "Bet your real proud of yourself, huh?" "I make 10 times what you make!" Of course they don't know that my alter ego is a highly paid computer geek. :D

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:39 PM
Some people become drunk assholes when they drink, I guess. I just finished a case today where my client was too drunk and rowdy at a bar, so they kicked him out. What does he do? Instead of going home or going some place else to drink, he decides to start kicking a total stranger's parked car--denting the license plate, breaking a taillight, etc.--until somebody calls the cops. Cops come and ask him why he damaged the car. "For something to do," was his response. My only statement in defense to the judge was, "Your honor, my client learned his lesson the hard way that alcohol and anger can only lead to stupid choices. And here he is...in front of you in court."

Nice! We had a similar instance happen to us. We had a guy get kicked out of the pool hall next door to us and then come over and kick in the glass on our door, because he was mad. Whe called the cops and he didn't cause us any problems, but when the cops came he fought and spit and everything. It was an interesting night. Of course the real pisser is that the judge dropped the assaulting an officer charge because he felt it was overused. ??? I wish that judge had been there when the guy was fighting the cops! Let him get kicked and bitten a few times and see if he feels the charge is "overused".

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:40 PM
more importantly how was red lobster?

Awesome! Though I don't care for their salads. Now Outback's Asian Chopped Salad is the best!

Flonk
06-02-2008, 12:42 PM
:bansign:

I don't like seafood. :?

Buk Was Right
06-02-2008, 12:43 PM
Oh yeah! My favorite are the people standing around outside after you bounce them out, screaming at you. "Bet your real proud of yourself, huh?" "I make 10 times what you make!" Of course they don't know that my alter ego is a highly paid computer geek. :D

Heh.

My favorite was the guy who told me "I'm gonna fuck you up when I see you on campus" (it was a college bar and I was college age at the time).

The joke's on him, I quit school months before that.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:43 PM
I don't like seafood. :?

You have my pity, sir. You will never know the greatness of fresh grilled scallops...or well made sushi. Of course you will save a bit of money, since good seafood is never cheap.

schizorabbit
06-02-2008, 12:45 PM
Heh.

My favorite was the guy who told me "I'm gonna fuck you up when I see you on campus" (it was a college bar and I was college age at the time).

The joke's on him, I quit school months before that.

:lol:

Flonk
06-02-2008, 12:46 PM
Awesome! Though I don't care for their salads. Now Outback's Asian Chopped Salad is the best!

:thumb:

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 12:47 PM
Heh.

My favorite was the guy who told me "I'm gonna fuck you up when I see you on campus" (it was a college bar and I was college age at the time).

The joke's on him, I quit school months before that.

:D

We also used to get a lot of the "I'm going to come back with my friends and kill you." I have never had anyone follow through on that threat. But one of my wife's friend's did. They came in and shot a lot of people. Kind of a sobering thought.

Buk Was Right
06-02-2008, 12:57 PM
:D

We also used to get a lot of the "I'm going to come back with my friends and kill you." I have never had anyone follow through on that threat. But one of my wife's friend's did. They came in and shot a lot of people. Kind of a sobering thought.

Yeah, the reason I got the job in the first place was that the guy who sort of casually worked the door and the bar solo got jumped by a bunch of jocks who were pissed because he wouldn't let one of their underage girlfriends in.

After that the bar upgraded to an actual security staff. It was a bit of overkill because like I said it was a pretty mellow college joint and the worst I ever had to do was get between a couple of girls trying to pull each others' hair (not as hot as it sounds) and grabbing a couple frat dudes by the scruffs of their necks and walking them out. Never had to throw a punch... in fact, I don't remember the last time I actually threw a punch.

Horizon Drive
06-02-2008, 01:19 PM
Funny thing, I clicked on this thread because on the thread page, this thread was directly underneath a thread entitled "I Love People". I thought it was a parody or response thread.

I love when the titles on the thread listing page form a bizzare narrative.

EdNEMO
06-02-2008, 01:33 PM
To the guy who had the parody, I hate people thread...I thought it was funny. :D

But I see it now gone...I found that as I was typing a reply it got deleted.

So I copied it and here was my response.

It would have made the story more interesting! The problem with this is, everyone, myself included only get half the story. I mean, what did that guy do afterwards? Did he go to Taco Bell. Did he brush himself off and then finish the comic? Is he on some other board telling them about the asshole he fought?

Gavin
06-03-2008, 04:46 AM
You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit!?

I love that movie. This is the thread of the year.

Garth
06-03-2008, 04:52 AM
I love when the titles on the thread listing page form a bizzare narrative.

Yeah, it is like there is some over-arching story going on or something.

Flonk
06-03-2008, 05:28 AM
So because of this thread, I went to Red Lobster.



meh.

Buk Was Right
06-03-2008, 08:38 AM
So because of this thread, I went to Red Lobster.



meh.

Maybe this entire thread (and EdNEMO's very existence) is an elaborate viral marketing campaign for Red Lobster...

EdNEMO. Nemo is a fish in the movie Finding Nemo. Fish... seafood... Red Lobster.

I'm on to you EdNEMO! Your reign of terror on this board and in the sci fi section of local book stores ends NOW!

Mike_Johnson
06-03-2008, 08:44 AM
Every fight story should end with "and then I went to Red Lobster."

Quote of the day. :D

LittleHouse
06-03-2008, 09:04 AM
Here's something I find simply fascinating about your tale.

The guy was reading Ultimate Spider-Man. Was in the midst of reading a comic wherein nearly every chapter is a narrative in which a good person, prominently featured as the main character, behaves responsibly in spite of any/all obstacles.

He is unintentionally in the way of the aisle at a bookstore. Understandably, a fellow patron (known henceforth as "The Passerby") asks for permission to pass. The Passerby does not require permission. He could just as easily push the reader (heretofore known as "The Reader") out of the way, but chooses his words carefully. "Pardon me," he says, and expectantly attempts to pass The Reader.

This demonstration sets The Reader into some sort of belligerence, fueled by an expectation that The Passerby should have offered a more appropriate, more respectful, engagement before attempting to pass. Perhaps an offering should have been made at The Passerby's expense, offering to purchase the Ultimate Spider-Man trade he was reviewing, for example. Whatever the case, The Passerby has, at this time, offended The Reader.

"Fuck off," The Reader exclaims. He then physically contradicts his commandment, placing his hand on The Passerby's chest, curiously. This is the point where I find the story mesmerizing.

Your would-be assailant was reading Ultimate Spider-Man, and at that very moment found himself in a position to be responsible (or at the very least, respectful) and exemplify the Peter Parker character, and instead found himself embodying Flash Thompson. Brilliant.

Closetnerd
06-03-2008, 09:05 AM
Maybe this entire thread (and EdNEMO's very existence) is an elaborate viral marketing campaign for Red Lobster...

EdNEMO. Nemo is a fish in the movie Finding Nemo. Fish... seafood... Red Lobster.

I'm on to you EdNEMO! Your reign of terror on this board and in the sci fi section of local book stores ends NOW!

2+2=6 ?
LOL!! ;-)

Rafiennes
06-03-2008, 09:12 AM
If there's something I have learned from this thread:

With great power comes responsibility...and a platter cheesy bread from Red Lobster! NUMMERS!!

The Dyslexicon
06-03-2008, 09:22 AM
I left and went to Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy of Mike Carey's "The Devil You Know" and went to Red Lobster.

.

Don't be such a cock tease. Did you get the Shrimp?

Arion
06-03-2008, 09:35 AM
So because of this thread, I went to Red Lobster.



meh.

I didn't go ...