This is going to be awkward.

[Keith P.]

Ok, on Monday we are showing expensive houses to our rich gay out of towners.

I got an email from one of the listing agents confirming the showing and saying the owners requested that he be there for the showing, which is kind of unusual. Usually they just give you the lockbox code and no one is there.

His email has an electronic version of his business card, complete with picture.

I realized to my horror, that I slept with him a couple of years ago, and it was awful.

[Black Roman]

Ok, on Monday we are showing expensive houses to our rich gay out of towners.

I got an email from one of the listing agents confirming the showing and saying the owners requested that he be there for the showing, which is kind of unusual. Usually they just give you the lockbox code and no one is there.

His email has an electronic version of his business card, complete with picture.

I realized to my horror, that I slept with him a couple of years ago, and it was awful.


:rofl: Irony, Delicious, Delicious, Irony.

[RebootedCorpse]

Now's you chance to give him a good fucking, no condom required.

[FredC]

:rofl: Irony, Delicious, Delicious, Irony.

How is that irony?

[Black Roman]

How is that irony?

;) Yeah, I know. But coincidence just doesn't have as good a ring to it.

So fuck semantics. :lol:

[luvVWbug]

You never called him after the bad sex did you...

Save that house for last. Hopefully the buyers will love one of the other ones and not want to see it. Or you could forget the address... drive around lost for an hour... Um, Or perhaps because the seller (bad sex guy) WANTS to sell his house, he will behave appropriately and nothing will happen.

Fingers crossed for ya.

[Keith P.]

You never called him after the bad sex did you...



Fuck no.

And the sex was not only horrible, he snored too.

[Black Roman]

Fuck no.

And the sex was not only horrible, he snored too.

Any doubts I had about this being fake have just been killed. :lol:

[Hock]

Fuck no.

And the sex was not only horrible, he snored too.

during? Then I hate to say it, but he might not be the problem. :p

[Keith P.]

during? Then I hate to say it, but he might not be the problem. :p

No, afterwards.

And he had a great time. They always do.

I on the other hand, was completely bored. He was just...boring and uptight.

[Brewtown Andy]

At least the owners didn't insist on being there.

[Marcdachamp]

Oh, we better be getting updates, Keith.

[Keith P.]

Oh it just gets better.

One of my team members, Amy just called and I asked her if she happened to know this guy.

Her reaction: Yes, he's a complete jerk, and I think he might be gay. My daughter used to be the office manager for the brokergage he is at.

Me: Oh he's definitely gay.

Her: Oh no you dint!

Her: Was it any good?

Me: No, he's an awful lay.

[Mylazycat]

Oh it just gets better.

One of my team members, Amy just called and I asked her if she happened to know this guy.

Her reaction: Yes, he's a complete jerk, and I think he might be gay. My daughter used to be the office manager for the brokergage he is at.

Me: Oh he's definitely gay.

Her: Oh no you dint!

Her: Was it any good?

Me: No, he's an awful lay.

Yep, getting better.

[Brewtown Andy]

Yep, getting better.This might end up breaking the internet in half.

[BCD]

He was just...boring and uptight.

I always assumed tight asses were a good thing.

[Brewtown Andy]

I always assumed tight asses were a good thing.Too tight has its obvious drawbacks.

[brianhalpin]

I always assumed tight asses were a good thing.

Damnit you got there before me.

[Mylazycat]

Damnit you got there before me.

That's what he said.

[Garth]

:rofl: Irony, Delicious, Delicious, Irony.

It might not be irony, but was he delicious at least?

[Black Roman]

It might not be irony, but was he delicious at least?

Well how should I know? I can't tell the difference between irony and coincidence. ;)

[Keith P.]

Its tommorow.

I am incredibly nervous.

[Thommy Melanson]

Its tommorow.

I am incredibly nervous.

Wank one out beforehand.

Remember you have the ace card in your pocket.

No matter what he says, you can always announce to everyone that he's a lousy lay.

[The-Last-Man]

This is your friend:

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2169004/2/istockphoto_2169004_funny_glasses.jpg

[Marc Lombardi]

Don't make any abortion jokes and you should be fine.

[Keith P.]

Don't make any abortion jokes and you should be fine.

I'm actually kind of worried about that.

Me and Mike were talking, and we both acknowledged that I have this tendency, especially when stressed to make inappropriate jokes.

And its not just the fact that this agent who I fucked is going to be there, its the fact that these guys make SOOOOOO much money, and are looking at insanely expensive houses.

[Hawkdevil]

Woah, Keith... is there any gay man within a 50 mile radius of you that you HAVEN'T slept with?

For that matter, is there any STRAIGHT man within a 50 mile radius of you that you haven't slept with?

[RebootedCorpse]

I'm actually kind of worried about that.

Me and Mike were talking, and we both acknowledged that I have this tendency, especially when stressed to make inappropriate jokes.

And its not just the fact that this agent who I fucked is going to be there, its the fact that these guys make SOOOOOO much money, and are looking at insanely expensive houses.

"The house, unlike your penis, is huge!"

[Mylazycat]

"The house, unlike your penis, is huge!"

Muwahahahahahaha!

:lol:

[Marc Lombardi]

I'm actually kind of worried about that.

Me and Mike were talking, and we both acknowledged that I have this tendency, especially when stressed to make inappropriate jokes.

And its not just the fact that this agent who I fucked is going to be there, its the fact that these guys make SOOOOOO much money, and are looking at insanely expensive houses.
Do you make comission on the purchase price of the house? I know agents do, but I've no clue how the whole brokerage thing works.

[Jim T.]

Your Rules of Engagement should be as follows:

1. If I say this, will it make for a funny post on the Bendis Board?
2. If yes, STFU
3. If no, say it.

[RebootedCorpse]

Your Rules of Engagement should be as follows:

1. If I say this, will it make for a funny post on the Bendis Board?
2. If yes, STFU
3. If no, say it.

Them's words to live by if I ever heard 'em.

[Kirblar]

So, how'd it go?

[Keith P.]

So, how'd it go?

It went fine. They actually decided they didn't want to see the house of the listing agent that I was worried about.

There were a few semi-amusing moments and I found myself wanting to kick the owner of one of the houses we were looking at in the face.

[Kirblar]

It went fine. They actually decided they didn't want to see the house of the listing agent that I was worried about.
Jedi mind tricks are the best.

[King of Mars]

Ok, on Monday we are showing expensive houses to our rich gay out of towners.

I got an email from one of the listing agents confirming the showing and saying the owners requested that he be there for the showing, which is kind of unusual. Usually they just give you the lockbox code and no one is there.

His email has an electronic version of his business card, complete with picture.

I realized to my horror, that I slept with him a couple of years ago, and it was awful.Why is this surprising? According to your stories, you've slept with half of the gay population of Indiana. This sort of thing was bound to happen sooner or later.

[Brewtown Andy]

It went fine. They actually decided they didn't want to see the house of the listing agent that I was worried about.

There were a few semi-amusing moments and I found myself wanting to kick the owner of one of the houses we were looking at in the face.Go on...

[Jerome Gibbons]

Your Rules of Engagement should be as follows:

1. If I say this, will it make for a funny post on the Bendis Board?
2. If yes, STFU
3. If no, say it.

That's actually pretty brilliant. I think everyone here should apply this to their own lives.

[Jim T.]

That's actually pretty brilliant. I think everyone here should apply this to their own lives.

This board would become a very, very dull place then! :)

[Keith P.]

Go on...

Ok, it's me, my team member Mike, our other team member Mark, all of us gay.

Our clients, who are a gay couple, there names are Mark and Tony.

So we are looking at this house, its priced at $850,000. The house itself is almost 10,000 sq feet, and thats not even counting the full finished basement. Plus the two servants cottages in the back, the 14 car garage etc.

It was built in 1921, and was a showcase home back in 1985. What that means is back in 85, a team of decoractors, and remodelers came in and completely re-did the entire home. This huge, enormous, giant home. And then the owner bought it, and they raised 10 kids and HAD NOT DONE A SINGLE UPDATE IN 23 YEARS.

I wanted to kill him. That was so incredibly stupid. Here he had this huge, enormous house, that could easily be worth, and sell for several million dollars, and every feature, cabinet, carpet, paint, everything in the house was outdated by 23 years.Which means anyone buying the house is not only going to have to pay for the house, but then sink a TON of money to bring it up to date.

So we are walking through it, the owner is showing us around, and I am in one of the sitting rooms, and there is a bookshelf above the fireplace, so I stop over and take a gander at them.

I shit you not, every single Anne Coulter book, every single Sean Hannity book, a bunch of other lovely titles like "Why Liberals are idiots, Hillary Clinton, is she Satan's Whore, Is the Left the Antichrist, How Liberals are All Ruining America, etc."

So picture it, our little train of gays being led around by this guy, and this is his reading material. Tony came over and was like "What are you looking at, oh books I..." Then had the most horrified expression.

[Shepherd]

This might end up breaking the internet in half.

No problem. Keith is used to breaking things in half.

R

[Brewtown Andy]

Ok, it's me, my team member Mike, our other team member Mark, all of us gay.

Our clients, who are a gay couple, there names are Mark and Tony.

So we are looking at this house, its priced at $850,000. The house itself is almost 10,000 sq feet, and thats not even counting the full finished basement. Plus the two servants cottages in the back, the 14 car garage etc.Fuck you, Indianapolis.

[Keith P.]

Fuck you, Indianapolis.

I took this picture in this enormous, 5000 sq ft, three story that was going for about 500k.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0002.jpg


It had this huge, stained glass window enclosed, roman style atrium, complete with a fountain, marble floors, and a little pool thingie, and fresco painted walls.

[Brewtown Andy]

I took this picture in this enormous, 5000 sq ft, three story that was going for about 500k.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0002.jpg


It had this huge, stained glass window enclosed, roman style atrium, complete with a fountain, marble floors, and a little pool thingie, and fresco painted walls.I hate your stupid city with its stupid land on all four stupid sides almost as much as I hate stupid Lake Michigan.

[Keith P.]

I hate your stupid city with its stupid land on all four stupid sides almost as much as I hate stupid Lake Michigan.

Another shot of the roman atrium and a the bizzarely baroque fireplace.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0003.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0006.jpg

[Brewtown Andy]

Another shot of the roman atrium and a the bizzarely baroque fireplace.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0003.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0006.jpgEvil.

[Casali]

Another shot of the roman atrium and a the bizzarely baroque fireplace.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0003.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0006.jpg

Damn. Where is that? Meridian corridor?

[Casali]

Fuck you, Indianapolis.

Hey, don't be talkin' shit about my town!

Just because we balance our relatively inexpensive real estate with an over-abundance of chain restaurants and the waistbands to go with them doesn't mean we should be ridiculed.

OK, yeah, it does.

:surrend:

[Jim.]

That house is sooo gay.

[Brewtown Andy]

Hey, don't be talkin' shit about my town!

Just because we balance our relatively inexpensive real estate with an over-abundance of chain restaurants and the waistbands to go with them doesn't mean we should be ridiculed.

OK, yeah, it does.

:surrend:This is not ridicule. This is disgust in the housing prices in Milwaukee county.

[Keith P.]

Damn. Where is that? Meridian corridor?

Yes. Around 42nd and Meridian. Thats where we spent pretty much the entire day, looking at those houses.

[Casali]

This is not ridicule. This is disgust in the housing prices in Milwaukee county.

Yeah, just figured I'd play along.

Are Milwaukee prices really that high? I had no idea. Then again, I would have no reason to know absent a home search in Wisconsin.

[Casali]

Yes. Around 42nd and Meridian. Thats where we spent pretty much the entire day, looking at those houses.

Ah, if only. That would be a hell of a way to spend a day.

Did he find anything he liked?

[Brewtown Andy]

Yeah, just figured I'd play along.

Are Milwaukee prices really that high? I had no idea. Then again, I would have no reason to know absent a home search in Wisconsin.6200 square feet for THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION DOLLARS. (http://realty100.wisconsin.remax.com/listings/ListingDetail_r4.aspx?LID=36110863#aTop)

To review what Keith said:
So we are looking at this house, its priced at $850,000. The house itself is almost 10,000 sq feet, and thats not even counting the full finished basement. Plus the two servants cottages in the back, the 14 car garage etc.

[GelfXIII]

I took this picture in this enormous, 5000 sq ft, three story that was going for about 500k.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/Brytanica1/Mar17_0002.jpg


It had this huge, stained glass window enclosed, roman style atrium, complete with a fountain, marble floors, and a little pool thingie, and fresco painted walls.

Fuck, my little 3 bedroom house in Arlington is worth more than that, even after the bubble burst. :scared:

[Casali]

Fuck, my little 3 bedroom house in Arlington is worth more than that, even after the bubble burst. :scared:

That is what happens where you live somewhere people actually want to live.

:lol: