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View Full Version : Mass Effect = Realistic Sex Simulator for 15 year old boys



FedEx Fanboy
01-14-2008, 11:12 AM
Or so this fucking moron says. This is some seriously funny, delusional babble from another conservative wack job. I really wish I had a license to kill, or at least castrate...

http://www.townhall.com/Columnists/KevinMcCullough/2008/01/13/the_sex-box_race_for_president?page=full&comments=true

Glixy
01-14-2008, 11:13 AM
I was first alerted to this via kotaku.com

Here is the link - http://www.townhall.com/columnists/KevinMcCullough/2008/01/13/the_sex-box_race_for_president

I am in a rage right now. Seriously, I don't even know what to say. Seriously, I can't even comment on it right now. Just try and read it, I dare you. :-x:-x:-x:-x

Glixy
01-14-2008, 11:14 AM
Heh, I just started this thread too. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I hate this man.

Jim T.
01-14-2008, 11:15 AM
I've never played Mass Effect - what is he talking about?

mike black
01-14-2008, 11:16 AM
I love it...


I hear the libertarian Ron Paul's answer already, "Government has no business censoring freedom of expression." Figures, he's a libertarian.

Which to say is part of the same conspiracy to turn our boys gay and make women into soldiers!!!

Not to mention the game is rating "M", and thus, not able to be sold to minors....

JoeE
01-14-2008, 11:16 AM
Wow, that article is filled with outright falsehoods.

Ashwin Pande
01-14-2008, 11:16 AM
A look at this guy's photo reminds me of that Bill Hicks quote...

"You ever wonder why the people who believe in creationism... looke REALLY unevolved?"

Glixy
01-14-2008, 11:17 AM
I've never played Mass Effect - what is he talking about?

Nonsense. He made this up. It's clear he has never ever played the game. I hate people like this so much.

EdNEMO
01-14-2008, 11:17 AM
I've never played Mass Effect - what is he talking about?

He brings up the game but he is really bashing the technology. He is an idiot. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

mike black
01-14-2008, 11:18 AM
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I want "virtual orgasmic rape is the push of a button away" on a t-shirt. NOW!

Greenville 90210
01-14-2008, 11:18 AM
I wish I had a sex simulator when I was 15.

PatrickA
01-14-2008, 11:19 AM
It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived.

Of by him, maybe.

NeverWanderer
01-14-2008, 11:20 AM
Wow...

This game sounds AWESOME!

gibbEy
01-14-2008, 11:20 AM
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=138519

VitoDGK
01-14-2008, 11:20 AM
shit, i wish i had one now.

Tyeron
01-14-2008, 11:20 AM
they are talking about a sex scene in the game that is as soft core as fox would ever get.. ya know lots of naked shoulders and insinuation..

this guy must have played a different game.. cause you never actually see anything.. and as far as controlling the way the character looks.. that's pretty much just the face.. this guy is pulling stuff out of his ass..

god i hate people like this.. is there a site where we can ridicule people like this? he really needs to be brought out and swear on what ever holy codex he likes that he actually played the game and did do everything he is talking about... otherwise i think he should have to admit to the public that he is a liar and has no business holding public office since he seems to lie about petty things in our society instead of dealing with real problems..

and to the cops.. stop pulling me over.. there's gotta be someone getting shot somewhere.

FedEx Fanboy
01-14-2008, 11:21 AM
I've never played Mass Effect - what is he talking about?

There is a optional sidequest where your character (male or female) can have a sexual encounter (cutscene) with another NPC in the game. It's pretty well done and doesn't really show anything more than you'd see on Network TV.

Most of what he's saying is flat our lies and not even remotely true.

Gunter
01-14-2008, 11:21 AM
I wish I had a sex simulator when I was 15.

I did. It was my right hand and my imagination.

mike black
01-14-2008, 11:21 AM
is there a site where we can ridicule people like this?

http://www.google.com/

Ben Weldon
01-14-2008, 11:23 AM
I wish I had a sex simulator when I was 15.

http://www.dumbaaldum.org/images/pic-sounds/letter-h/hand.jpg

Tyeron
01-14-2008, 11:24 AM
http://www.google.com/

nah i want someplace like CNN to put up an article saying this guys is a complete liar and doesn't know what he's talking about..

but instead i'm sure cnn will run an article about the guy and talk about what he said and mention the game.. but never actually say what the guy is saying is false.

i want more of a stage instead of a street corner.

Greenville 90210
01-14-2008, 11:26 AM
nah i want someplace like CNN to put up an article saying this guys is a complete liar and doesn't know what he's talking about..

but instead i'm sure cnn will run an article about the guy and talk about what he said and mention the game.. but never actually say what the guy is saying is false.

i want more of a stage instead of a street corner.

G4 will probably have a story on it. But that's like preaching to the choir.

modungo
01-14-2008, 11:33 AM
If the folks who make this game are smart they will wait to tear this cat down. This sounds like it could move ALOT of copies.

Tyeron
01-14-2008, 11:33 AM
G4 will probably have a story on it. But that's like preaching to the choir.

Amen!

thatguyfromsyracuse
01-14-2008, 11:45 AM
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.



I had no idea the game was this awesome! Virtual orgasmic rape? Jeez, if they had just come right and said the game was a cover for this, I would have bought it the first day it came out!

Fuck, that guy is an idiot.

thatguyfromsyracuse
01-14-2008, 11:49 AM
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.



I had no idea the game was this awesome! Virtual orgasmic rape? Jeez, if they had just come right and said the game was a cover for this, I would have bought it the first day it came out!

Fuck, that guy is an idiot.

joshdahl
01-14-2008, 11:56 AM
I haven't played the game.

I don't get what is so upsetting.

Is he right? I mean, the ads that I have seen all look like Some kind of military strategy/ sci-fi game. Is there custom sex in it?

If so, it is not apparent in the ads.

Josh Dahl

Generic Poster
01-14-2008, 12:00 PM
Is there custom sex in it?

Josh Dahl

No. You can customize what your character looks like, and there are two instances where you can have Fox-TV level sex (bare shoulders and side-butt), but you have no control over it.

mike black
01-14-2008, 12:16 PM
G4 will probably have a story on it. But that's like preaching to the choir.

I used to love watching Adam Sessler tear into Jack Thompson.

Matt Jay
01-14-2008, 12:25 PM
When lazy journalism and pandering to the elderly collide.

Albert
01-14-2008, 12:31 PM
If only this were true. I'd never stop playing! Hump in every form I can think of!

J. R. Scherer
01-14-2008, 12:32 PM
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.

What does that even mean? :mistrust:

thatguyfromsyracuse
01-14-2008, 12:33 PM
If only this were true. I'd never stop playing!

If it were, I'd orgasmically rape you...Virtually!

Albert
01-14-2008, 12:37 PM
If it were, I'd orgasmically rape you...Virtually!

We would hump in every form we could think of!

Whip
01-14-2008, 12:38 PM
Fucking retarded.

thatguyfromsyracuse
01-14-2008, 12:40 PM
We would hump in every form we could think of!

Goddamn thats sexy!!

JoeE
01-14-2008, 12:49 PM
Here's some video of one of the virtual orgasmic rapes in question (not really safe for work, but no explicit nudity or sexual content either):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NragL5-7Mvo

There are other videos, but they DO show nudity (butt crack and sideboob only, though) and I don't want to get in trouble.

Fake Pat
01-14-2008, 12:52 PM
That guy must really hate 15 year old boy's hands.

Whip
01-14-2008, 12:54 PM
Here's some video of one of the virtual orgasmic rapes in question (not really safe for work, but no explicit nudity or sexual content either):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NragL5-7Mvo

There are other videos, but they DO show nudity (butt crack and sideboob only, though) and I don't want to get in trouble.

Yeah, that didn't look non-consensual to me.

Glixy
01-14-2008, 12:57 PM
Here's some video of one of the virtual orgasmic rapes in question (not really safe for work, but no explicit nudity or sexual content either):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NragL5-7Mvo

There are other videos, but they DO show nudity (butt crack and sideboob only, though) and I don't want to get in trouble.

If sidebood and butt crack are wrong...

then I don't want to be right.

TheGibson
01-14-2008, 01:22 PM
I love that there are two hot chicks in the adds to the left of the article.

Boutros
01-14-2008, 01:51 PM
That article has to be a joke, right?

"The software for such allows the blending of DVD video, component graphics, and the manipulation of actual pictures so that an alternate reality engulfs the fifteen year old boy playing it without much objection."

What the fuck does that even mean? Holy shit the manipulation of actual pictures! Nobody could write that and be serious.

evilgenius
01-14-2008, 02:05 PM
http://www.dumbaaldum.org/images/pic-sounds/letter-h/hand.jpg

That's the manipulation, not the simulation. Nice try tho.

RegularJoe
01-14-2008, 02:23 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I want "virtual orgasmic rape is the push of a button away" on a t-shirt. NOW!




maybe you can find it THIS (http://www.thoseshirts.com/tshirts.html) site...well, not likely. but i found the site pretty funny.

mike black
01-14-2008, 07:46 PM
maybe you can find it THIS (http://www.thoseshirts.com/tshirts.html) site...well, not likely. but i found the site pretty funny.

http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/rect-checap-pd.jpg

:lol:

I think most of those shirts are attrocious. But I kind of want this one:
http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/square-large-nochegr.gif

FedEx Fanboy
01-14-2008, 09:11 PM
bump because of the d-baggery which started this thread

WinterRose
01-14-2008, 09:12 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I want "virtual orgasmic rape is the push of a button away" on a t-shirt. NOW!

Fucking seconded!

JoeE
01-16-2008, 04:45 AM
The guy has written a follow-up article:

http://kevinmccullough.townhall.com/blog/g/ad4fece3-3a1e-42bd-8546-295599024191


The Gamer-Nerd universe exploded in anger over the tone and a couple of the specifics of my most recent column, "The 'Sex Box' Race for President."

If the few who wrote me are indicative of the rest of the gaming universe, we know at least they have passion - for their toy-boxes...

Repeatedly they challenged me, called me names, and used some of the most stimulating intellect I've seen to date to point out my error on a point of substance/possibly two...

Here's a sample of the Gamer-Nerds at their finest (directed at me...):

I hope someone hits you over the head with a dictionary, putting you into a coma. The financial strain on your family would eventually force your son to sell his video games. Your son would have to go several years without a father figure in his life, giving him a handful of psychological and emotional complexes.

Then, years later when you wake up from your coma, you find your son to be a full-blown adult. He lives far away now. You track him down to let him know that youre back. You meet up with his lovely friend Jim, whom he must blow for drug money. You try to change his ways, but he wont budge.

It all comes to a climax when he bludgeons you to death in a particularly heated argument. He then empties your pockets, strips you naked, sodomizes your corpse and uses his connections in the rough part of town to have your body dumped, leading Police to believe you picked up a tranny, were robbed, and then killed.

More than one who wrote me claimed that because he loves gaming so much that I had somehow permanently impaired his world because of the assertions I made in the dangers that sexually explicit games present to the whole of society (not merely the fruit of the loom droopy drawers living in the basement.)

To a person (after being hyped a bit by gamer-nerd-blogs) and no doubt instructed to flood my inbox with response, the gist of these responses went something along these lines, "YOU LIED, YOU LIED, YOU LIED." Some called me a yellow journalist, some just typed the "F" word something like 27 times, and signed it, "have a good day."

But what was it I was supposed to have lied about? That my friend is the compelling part of this highly emotional drama - if only to one niche of people attached to their X-Boxes.

1. "The most realistic sex acts..." - from the YouTube footage I saw, I still concur, to me these acts are the most realistic put in video games - that I have seen. In the lesbian version one woman's hand appears to stimulate the crotch of the other passing between the legs. Today many of the more perv-oriented gamer-nerds took delight in describing for me the detailed description of games they claim are MORE realistic... Ok fine, I'll take them at their word, but for me the statement stands...

2. "One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images..." Evidently the only thing I got wrong on this was the breast size, though I would like someone to explain to me how the female characters end up having different sizes again on the YouTube footage I witnessed with my own eyes... But the rest of it was true. race, hair style, color - etc.

3. "...the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of." Again true (not that there are that many combinations of human sexuality to begin with.) But since the makers of Mass Effect decided to throw in a little alien booty both hetero and homo it seems to me that they covered the range. Would these gamer-nerds have preferred that the game included bestiality? Later in the column I make a reference to being able to perform sex acts, homo and hetero, with whomever... Ok - you can't have sex with every single character in the game... But between copulating with Aliens, girl on girl, guy on girl, and according to my gamer-nerd friends who I checked with - it does not take a great deal of manipulation to add a few extra "kinks" to the mix for those who know a little bit about such things.

4. They (the gamer-nerds) also took outrageous umbrage to the claims I made in the column that the game is marketed to teen-age boys. (Though many of those giving me feedback happened to be under the age of 17/18.) The common argument is that because the game is marked "M" that means that no kid under 17/18 (depending on your state) would be allowed access to it. Asinine thinking through and through though. Simply like the fact that movie theaters are this night allowing children underage to purchase tickets, refusing to ask for ID, these games are being sold over the counter by the major chain stores with no enforcement of the age limit suggestions posted on the games themselves. The Gamer-Nerds act as though the packaging itself is all the responsibility that needs to be taken. Of course they themselves probably started hiding their collection of Hustler Magazine under their beds when they were eleven and have thus a good idea of how the "letter of the law" differs from the "intent." Thus the explanation of why they were so sore with me for pointing out the obvious. The silly "M" label stands for, and accomplishes precious little.

5. The major criticism the Gamer-Nerds had for me in their reaction was this challenge: "Unless you've spent the 20 hours of game time it takes to get to the explicit scenes, keep your fat mouth shut!" Many challenges stated that unless I played it myself then I had no business pointing out its objectionably content. Would they say the same of a strip club at the end of their block or hookers knocking at their door? (Well maybe sexually repressed gamer-nerds would...) Normal people would not. There is an innate instinct that tells us right from wrong, it's called a conscience. Did I play the game? No. Did I talk to some gamers who had and who knew the possibilities of the game. Yes! Does it make the lesbian, alien, hetero, homo sex that a player arrives at in the game a proper thing for teenagers to be tantalized by? Absolutely not!

Midway through the column I turn to a vision of where such games will lead to in the future, more games using sex as an enticement, more vivid graphics, more, more, more... That is what gamers ascribe to right? Alternate universes where they can escape this world and become caught up in the pursuit of whatever...

The over-arching point of the entire piece, was not even to encourage censorship - though we ARE allowed to censor smut in this nation, and it has been defined already by the Supreme Court. (Thus why we are not Europe with our "blue" channel running on broadcast television nightly.) The real point of the piece was however to say that in the election coming up the next President will preside over a society that does more to push the envelope than any that have come before it.

That society does so at our peril.

Look, if the Gamer-Nerds need their pervy outlets to find true release and inner peace - then make them drive to the outskirts of town and be forced to frequent those places that no one wants in the community to get them. By properly removing sexually explicit material from Best Buy, Circuit City, and Wal-Mart we take a step (one that did not need to be explained only a few years ago) in pushing back against the tidal wave of trashy cheap sex that society has ruled harmless, and thus meaningless.

God didn't design it that way, and no matter how many gamer-nerds spam my inbox with profane dreams of seeing my dead corpse sodimized...

I'm not moving!

Akira
01-16-2008, 04:54 AM
http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/rect-checap-pd.jpg

:lol:

I think most of those shirts are attrocious. But I kind of want this one:
http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/square-large-nochegr.gif

My brother has this one
http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/square-med-commies.gif


And I'm kinda thinking of stealing it :)

J. R. Scherer
01-16-2008, 05:12 AM
The guy has written a follow-up article:

http://kevinmccullough.townhall.com/blog/g/ad4fece3-3a1e-42bd-8546-295599024191

Ah... The wonderful world of the internet...
Where the calm reasonable voice of logic and truth will always be drowned out by 'teh suck'.

LeggoMyEggolas
01-16-2008, 06:01 AM
The guy has written a follow-up article:



So to this guy, all us "Gamer-Nerds" are some kind of sub-human species that need to be rounded up and shot for our "perversion". Methinks Gabe and Tycho summarized this ass best:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2008/20080115.jpg

Can't wait for something to come out about a "Mass Effect" of kiddie porn found on this guy's computer.

Glixy
01-16-2008, 09:53 AM
Yeah, Penny Arcade rules the world. I loved this line


This is Calvinball of the worst sort, and we need not play.

noble
01-16-2008, 10:03 AM
What does that even mean? :mistrust:

I think he's saying you can go online and rape characters across the internet.

This game doesn't even support online :mad: