When Is Porn Okay

[Gordon Chumway]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

My Future Wife just went home to visit her family for 10 days. Now I'm not a porn guy(as in I don't own any), but I was thinking if any time I should be allowed to watch porn it should be now.

Wait, let me rephrase that, "allowed" is the wrong word. I do what I want, I'm a man. :D

[Amos Moses]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

My Future Wife just went home to visit her family for 10 days. Now I'm not a porn guy(as in I don't own any), but I was thinking if any time I should be allowed to watch porn it should be now.

Wait, let me rephrase that, "allowed" is the wrong word. I do what I want, I'm a man. :D

But you did have to catch yourself....

[changingshades]

all day, everyday

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

There's a time when porn isn't okay?

:?

[Gordon Chumway]

But you did have to catch yourself....

Of course you need something to catch with...

wait...

what are you talking about?

[mario]

porn is okay as long as you don't get caught.
simple as that

[The Hodag]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

Maybe she should go to porn-counseling.

[bartleby]

So... you don't need your significant other's approval, but you do need validation from a bunch of strangers on the Internet?

[changingshades]

Maybe she should go to porn-counseling.

*strained innuendo* IN MY PANTS

[glk]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

My Future Wife just went home to visit her family for 10 days. Now I'm not a porn guy(as in I don't own any), but I was thinking if any time I should be allowed to watch porn it should be now.

Wait, let me rephrase that, "allowed" is the wrong word. I do what I want, I'm a man. :D

Anything you have to hide from your wife isn't okay.

[RebootedCorpse]

When you're younger than 21

[Dreaded Anomaly]

Women who get uncomfortable about porn are insecure about the relationship for other reasons. The actual porn doesn't matter at all, unless the woman is some sort of crazy fundamentalist in which case, as before, there are other problems.

[Gordon Chumway]

So... you don't need your significant other's approval, but you do need validation from a bunch of strangers on the Internet?

It's not your vagina I'm worried about having access to.

[Amos Moses]

When you're younger than 21

18 in some states.




:scared:

[changingshades]

18 in some states.




:scared:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/changingshades/1198794266400.png

[RebootedCorpse]

Most women are not okay with their husbands beating off to other women's images.

[c. page]

There's a time when porn isn't okay?

:?

that was my reaction, too.

[The Hodag]

Women who get uncomfortable about porn are insecure about the relationship for other reasons. The actual porn doesn't matter at all, unless the woman is some sort of crazy fundamentalist in which case, as before, there are other problems.

I don't think that's necessarily true. Many just didn't have it play much of a role in their life growing up, so it can seem really shocking to 'em, and the kind of porn matters too. I can see a lady getting upset if her cleancut beau has "MONSTER BLACK COCKS VS. GILFS" on his hard drive.

[Nick Spencer]

Porn is always okay. This is one argument where women are almost always in the wrong. Asking someone to not fantasize about others is unreasonable, and anyone who claims they don't is being dishonest. Unless its some kind of porn addiction, there's nothing wrong with it.

Women are right in 95 percent of all arguments with men. This is the most common one where they're wrong, though.

[The Hodag]

Most women are not okay with their husbands beating off to other women's images.

True.

Would tensions be eased if chicks just beat off more to images of other guys? Or would that just make us dudes more insecure?

[Gordon Chumway]

I don't think that's necessarily true. Many just didn't have it play much of a role in their life growing up, so it can seem really shocking to 'em, and the kind of porn matters too. I can see a lady getting upset if her cleancut beau has "MONSTER BLACK COCKS VS. GILFS" on his hard drive.

Oh man, I'm gonna regret this, but what is a "GILF"?

[Ryan F]

The way I see it, there are 4 ways to go about this:

1.) Hide interest in porn from significant other.

2.) Repress interest in porn for sake of significant other.

3.) "Don't ask, don't tell" - significant other knows you may look at porn, but doesn't want to know the details.

4.) Shared interest in porn with significant other.

If you ask me, honesty is the most important part - therefore, I deem options 3 and 4 to be the healthy ones.

[Amos Moses]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/changingshades/1198794266400.png

Who wants to go to Canada and bang some 14 year olds?

Ray, you in?

[changingshades]

Oh man, I'm gonna regret this, but what is a "GILF"?

g=grandma

I'll leave the rest to you

[Gordon Chumway]

g=grandma

I'll leave the rest to you

NANA NOOOOOOOOO!!!

[glk]

Women who get uncomfortable about porn are insecure about the relationship for other reasons. The actual porn doesn't matter at all, unless the woman is some sort of crazy fundamentalist in which case, as before, there are other problems.

I don't agree. Women don't see porn the same way as men. Much of porn today is very fairly humiliating and even abusive, so to say that women uncomfortable about porn are just being prudes or have personality disorders is kind of thin.

[changingshades]

NANA NOOOOOOOOO!!!


yes yes OH GOD YES.

[The Hodag]

Oh man, I'm gonna regret this, but what is a "GILF"?

Assuming you know what a MILF is...just skew that a little older.

But I won't even talk about GGILFs (pronounced guh-GILF!).

[Ben]

I'm really glad my gf's cool about porn. Not being okay with it would probably be a dealbreaker for me.

[Gordon Chumway]

.

:rofl:

[changingshades]

Assuming you know what a MILF is...just skew that a little older.

But I won't even talk about GGILFs (pronounced guh-GILF!).

Wow, learn a new term every day

now if you'll excuse me I have some vomiting to catch up on

[Nick Spencer]

The way I see it, there are 4 ways to go about this:

1.) Hide interest in porn from significant other.

2.) Repress interest in porn for sake of significant other.

3.) "Don't ask, don't tell" - significant other knows you may look at porn, but doesn't want to know the details.

4.) Shared interest in porn with significant other.

If you ask me, honesty is the most important part - therefore, I deem options 3 and 4 to be the healthy ones.

I agree. 3 is your best bet. 4 can work, but not always-- problems can definitely arise.

In general, couples don't use "don't ask, don't tell" enough any more. Its this therapy age bullshit where everyone thinks they want total honesty. But that's the last thing they need. Watch CLOSER for reference here.

[c. page]

Porn is always okay. This is one argument where women are almost always in the wrong. Asking someone to not fantasize about others is unreasonable, and anyone who claims they don't is being dishonest. Unless its some kind of porn addiction, there's nothing wrong with it.

Women are right in 95 percent of all arguments with men. This is the most common one where they're wrong, though.

i would disagree with this one. people, in general are right about half the time. this includes women, who are not necessarily any smarter or more capable at making decisions than men are. (some are, but some are less capable, so it evens out.)

that said, if you have to hide porn from your wife/significant other, then you probably have problems in your relationship that need to be addressed. clearly, as a couple, you should be on similar pages regarding the whole porn thing.

[changingshades]

:rofl:

thank you thank you

I'll be here all week.

don't forget to tip your waitress

[silverboy]

Anything you have to hide from your wife isn't okay.

Any wife you have to hide porn from isn't okay.

[Gordon Chumway]

Assuming you know what a MILF is...just skew that a little older.

But I won't even talk about GGILFs (pronounced guh-GILF!).

GRAM GRAM NOOOOOO!

[Gordon Chumway]

thank you thank you

I'll be here all week.

don't forget to tip your waitress

And fuck the Patriots.

[dasNdanger]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das

[changingshades]

oh, and since I've wanted to talk about this but I didn't want to start a new thread about this

everyone see my new avatar? it's from Colleen Cloover's blog. She does the art for the back ups in X-Men First Class. She did a great Wanda/Jean story a while back. Anyway, she broke into comics doing a light fluffy lesbian porn comic called Small Favors which is...light and fluffy fun.

Just thought I'd let you guys know

[changingshades]

GRAM GRAM NOOOOOO!

my great gramma was so sad toward the end, I don't know if I'd begrudge her some big black dick if she wanted it.

[changingshades]

And fuck the Patriots.

and fuck the patriots

you sir, are my new favorite under 1,000 post poster

[BCD]

I don't agree. Women don't see porn the same way as men. Much of porn today is very fairly humiliating and even abusive, so to say that women uncomfortable about porn are just being prudes or have personality disorders is kind of thin.

I agree with that.

I think a big misconception women have about porn is that it is in some way meant to replace them. The truth is it's just there when they're not. You know, when she's at work, or running errands or out of town. Of course if you prefer porn to your gf/wife then it's an issue.

Also, is it something you'd be embarrassed to have her find you watching. I know what freaky shit is out there, and there's plenty I would never admit to even hearing about.

[c. page]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das

and god bless those women.

[glk]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das

Hiding porn is cheating to most women because you're seeking sex outside of the relationship.

[Dreaded Anomaly]

I don't think that's necessarily true. Many just didn't have it play much of a role in their life growing up, so it can seem really shocking to 'em, and the kind of porn matters too. I can see a lady getting upset if her cleancut beau has "MONSTER BLACK COCKS VS. GILFS" on his hard drive.

She should stop snooping on her man's hard drive, then.


Porn is always okay. This is one argument where women are almost always in the wrong. Asking someone to not fantasize about others is unreasonable, and anyone who claims they don't is being dishonest. Unless its some kind of porn addiction, there's nothing wrong with it.

Women are right in 95 percent of all arguments with men. This is the most common one where they're wrong, though.

Exactly. Most women fantasize at least as much as men do; maybe in a different way, but it still happens.

[changingshades]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das
I'd say it's pretty close to an even 50/50 split when it comes to women I know personally that like/abhor porn.

[Ben]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

dasOr you could avoid all that nonsense and dump her for a girl that doesn't have all those issues.

[The Hodag]

GRAM GRAM NOOOOOO!

"Sorry, hon."

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/6950/gramgramxu7.jpg

[TIP]

thank you thank you

I'll be here all week.

don't forget to tip your waitress


I have to dress up as a waitress again?

[c. page]

I'd say it's pretty close to an even 50/50 split when it comes to women I know personally that like/abhor porn.

i agree. i think it's a common misconception that very few women like porn. most of the girls that i know (non girlfriends) own some. granted i know a few that have strong feelings against it, but it does seem to fall along that 50/50 split.

they just aren't necessarily as open about it as men are.

[changingshades]

I have to dress up as a waitress again?

you don't have to, but you said the leather mask was too stuffy this time of year.

[Nick Spencer]

When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das

See, this is what I mean about the one argument women can't win... compared to the million they can and do.

I can't measure up to Brad Pitt. Bottom line. Should the fact that my GF realizes on some level that I am not, in fact, the functional equivalent of Brad Pitt in terms of physical appearance make me feel inferior or bad about my self-image? Of course not. Of course she thinks he's attractive, and doesn't mind the mental image of messing around with him. But there's an enormous difference between a mental dalliance and truly being unsatisfied with the person you're actually with.

This is about people asking for something from their significant others that can't possibly be given. Its not asking for love-- its asking for that person to become asexual in reference to anything but yourself, to become singularly and completely fixated on you and you alone. That's not human. No one does it themselves, they just want the person they're with to do it-- which is pretty selfish really.

We all wanna be worshipped, is I think the bottom line here. But that ain't love, and it sure ain't reality.

[changingshades]

i agree. i think it's a common misconception that very few women like porn. most of the girls that i know (non girlfriends) own some. granted i know a few that have strong feelings against it, but it does seem to fall along that 50/50 split.

they just aren't necessarily as open about it as men are.

I'm eliminating women in my family and people I knew when I went to church, because for the former I refuse to talk about it with them and for the latter it seems overly skewed.

[Dreaded Anomaly]

I don't agree. Women don't see porn the same way as men. Much of porn today is very fairly humiliating and even abusive, so to say that women uncomfortable about porn are just being prudes or have personality disorders is kind of thin.

Fantasy is not reality. Women who object to porn either don't understand that, or believe their boyfriends don't understand that. Either way, it's not really about the porn.


Hiding porn is cheating to most women because you're seeking sex outside of the relationship.

Watching porn is not having sex. Women who think otherwise are nuts.

[RebootedCorpse]

See, this is what I mean about the one argument women can't win... compared to the million they can and do.

I can't measure up to Brad Pitt. Bottom line. Should the fact that my GF realizes on some level that I am not, in fact, the functional equivalent of Brad Pitt in terms of physical appearance make me feel inferior or bad about my self-image? Of course not. Of course she thinks he's attractive, and doesn't mind the mental image of messing around with him. But there's an enormous difference between a mental dalliance and truly being unsatisfied with the person you're actually with.

This is about people asking for something from their significant others than can't possibly be given. Its not asking for love-- its asking for that person to become asexual in reference to anything but yourself, to become singularly and completely fixated on you and you alone. That's not human. No one does it themselves, they just want the person they're with to do it-- which is pretty selfish really.

We all wanna be worshipped, is I think the bottom line here. But that ain't love, and it sure ain't reality.

You think it's about logic. That's cute.;)

[glk]

i agree. i think it's a common misconception that very few women like porn. most of the girls that i know (non girlfriends) own some. granted i know a few that have strong feelings against it, but it does seem to fall along that 50/50 split.

they just aren't necessarily as open about it as men are.

It also may be a generational thing. For those of us who were in high school during the 1980s, porn wasn't as mainstream as it is today during the "formative" years. Since the internet, porn has seeped into mainstream culture and become more acceptable.

[changingshades]

It also may be a generational thing. For those of us who were in high school during the 1980s, porn wasn't as mainstream as it is today during the "formative" years. Since the internet, porn has seeped into mainstream culture and become more acceptable.
god bless the camwhores

[Gordon Chumway]

You think it's about logic. That's cute.;)
:lol:
Thank You Sir!

[TIP]

you don't have to, but you said the leather mask was too stuffy this time of year.

yes, master.

T
(zip)

[glk]

Fantasy is not reality. Women who object to porn either don't understand that, or believe their boyfriends don't understand that. Either way, it's not really about the porn.

Watching porn is not having sex. Women who think otherwise are nuts.

Are you or have you ever been married? I'm just curious.

[Nick Spencer]

You think it's about logic. That's cute.;)

Good point there.

[Nick Spencer]

Are you or have you ever been married? I'm just curious.

I'm sure if you did a poll of the married men here, you'd see a close race between their wives being okay with porn or not.

[changingshades]

yes, master.

T
(zip)

see? I'm a fair master. Say thank you slave

and wear the chaps tonight

they please me

[powerbomb1411]

Porn is like being married and going to a strip club. As long as you don't get yourself arrested your in good shape.

[Forrest]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

Just to clarify, the problem was the amount of porn, not the porn itself?


Women who get uncomfortable about porn are insecure about the relationship for other reasons.

Agreed.


Porn is always okay. [. . .] Asking someone to not fantasize about others is unreasonable, and anyone who claims they don't is being dishonest. Unless its some kind of porn addiction, there's nothing wrong with it.

Agreed!

Look, married women fantasize about other men all the damn time! However, they are turned on more by men in stories and adventures rather than visuals. E.g. women watch chick flicks and read terrible romance novels and it's harmless!

People still masturbate in perfect relationships with perfect partners because it fulfills a different need than sex. When women do it, they think of the chick flick perfect guys who will literally make them princesses just for waking up in the morning (fictional). When guys do it they think of sex crazed sluts who will do literally anything without getting any non-sexual needs met in return (also fictional).

Someone in a relationship can fight this and they'll only drive their partner away by denying him/her an important sexual need. Or they can be open and accepting, thereby making their partner far more respected, open and trusted --> not nearly as likely to get extremely frustrated, leave and or find thrills elsewhere.

[Dreaded Anomaly]

Are you or have you ever been married? I'm just curious.

I'm not, haven't been, and if ever I am, I won't need to post a thread like this.

[glk]

I'm not, haven't been, and if ever I am, I won't need to post a thread like this.

Haha! Cool.

[Gordon Chumway]

I'm not, haven't been, and if ever I am, I won't need to post a thread like this.

Cause your husband will let you watch porn?

[Dreaded Anomaly]

Cause your husband will let you watch porn?

:roll:

[c. page]

It also may be a generational thing. For those of us who were in high school during the 1980s, porn wasn't as mainstream as it is today during the "formative" years. Since the internet, porn has seeped into mainstream culture and become more acceptable.

could be. most of my friends and i are late 20s/early 30s, so we still missed out on the porn being as widely available as it is now. however, most of my friends' parents were ex-hippies who had pretty damn liberal attitudes about sex and drugs.

[glk]

I'm sure if you did a poll of the married men here, you'd see a close race between their wives being okay with porn or not.

That's true. I agree it isn't really about the porn. It's about the hiding of it or anything else in your relationship that's dodgy. People have different relationships, but to the women I know, if you have to hide something from them or aren't honest about something then it's not okay.

Women don't compartmentalize sex like men do, and therefore don't see porn like men do. To men, porn is just fantasy and beating off and has nothing to do with their wives or their marriage. Women aren't like that. That's why when women cheat, it's not "just sex" to them - 90% of the time it's about lashing out at their husband and wanting to hurt them for something.

[dasNdanger]

Points taken, guys.

Yeah, lots of women like porn. And many think that porn is just some sort of entertainment on the side, something that doesn't affect the relationship because the guy loves the woman he's with.

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag. It's easy to say that a woman needs to realize that there's a difference between fantasy and reality, etc...but the reality IS that sex, and porn, sells...and that puts a lot of pressure on a large percentage of the female population.

But most guys don't get it...so no use me trying to explain. It's not an argument that needs to be won - it's a fact, supported by the self-esteem and mental health issues of a good portion of the female population on this planet. The stuff men like to look at DOES wreak havoc on a woman's self-image.

Not telling anyone to change their ways, just suggesting that - in some cases - you do need to think of the feelings of your significant other.

das

[c. page]

That's true. I agree it isn't really about the porn. It's about the hiding of it or anything else in your relationship that's dodgy. People have different relationships, but to the women I know, if you have to hide something from them or aren't honest about something then it's not okay.

Women don't compartmentalize sex like men do, and therefore don't see porn like men do. To men, porn is just fantasy and beating off and has nothing to do with their wives or their marriage. Women aren't like that. That's why when women cheat, it's not "just sex" to them - 90% of the time it's about lashing out at their husband and wanting to hurt them for something.

i agree with this. which is why it's important to find someone who's compatible with your own tastes/desires.

there are plenty of women who are okay with porn on some level or another. ultimately, if you have to hide something like this from your significant other, then you should probably look at how healthy your relationship with them is to begin with.

[c. page]

Points taken, guys.

Yeah, lots of women like porn. And many think that porn is just some sort of entertainment on the side, something that doesn't affect the relationship because the guy loves the woman he's with.

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag. It's easy to say that a woman needs to realize that there's a difference between fantasy and reality, etc...but the reality IS that sex, and porn, sells...and that puts a lot of pressure on a large percentage of the female population.

But most guys don't get it...so no use me trying to explain. It's not an argument that needs to be won - it's a fact, supported by the self-esteem and mental health issues of a good portion of the female population on this planet. The stuff men like to look at DOES wreak havoc on a woman's self-image.

Not telling anyone to change their ways, just suggesting that - in some cases - you do need to think of the feelings of your significant other.

das

i actually would say that other women are at least equally to blame for a woman's self-esteem issues as men are. women's magazines are far more full of images and articles that are damaging to a woman's self esteem than probably anything you'd see in a maxim or playboy or penthouse. they're just more quiet about it.

that said, the guy who turns to his girlfriend/wife and says "why don't you dress like that?" should probably expect to be in a fight in a manner of minutes. some things you just don't say.

with a little tact, you could maybe pull off the "why don't you do that?" if phrased differently and with some explanation behind it.

[RebootedCorpse]

Don't most guys grow out of the need to spank their monkey to "giant-tited Asian sluts" or whatever?

[Ethan Van Sciver]

Porn isn't a great thing when you're married. You should focus all of that energy on your wife.

Unless she hates you and won't have sex with you, in which case, I guess have some porn.

[c. page]

Don't most guys grow out of the need to spank their monkey to "giant-tited Asian sluts" or whatever?

i've personally moved on to giant titted australian sluts, myself.

asian sluts are for teenagers.

[Dreaded Anomaly]

Points taken, guys.

Yeah, lots of women like porn. And many think that porn is just some sort of entertainment on the side, something that doesn't affect the relationship because the guy loves the woman he's with.

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag. It's easy to say that a woman needs to realize that there's a difference between fantasy and reality, etc...but the reality IS that sex, and porn, sells...and that puts a lot of pressure on a large percentage of the female population.

But most guys don't get it...so no use me trying to explain. It's not an argument that needs to be won - it's a fact, supported by the self-esteem and mental health issues of a good portion of the female population on this planet. The stuff men like to look at DOES wreak havoc on a woman's self-image.

Not telling anyone to change their ways, just suggesting that - in some cases - you do need to think of the feelings of your significant other.

das

Most guys don't really care about how women dress, and while porn may seem to give guys unrealistic ideas about what women should do during sex, I'm of the opinion that those ideas already exist, for the most part. If you judge your significant other for his or her fetishes, there are deeper problems in the relationship.

Most guys would also not ever even think of entering into a committed relationship with a porn star. Men have the ability to separate physical fantasies from emotional desires, and it's insulting for women to act as though they can't do the same and expect men not to do so either. If a woman is that insecure, she should be in counseling, not being indulged and enabled.

[Nick Spencer]

Don't most guys grow out of the need to spank their monkey to "giant-tited Asian sluts" or whatever?

Dear God I hope not.

[BCD]

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'.

But that's a massively stupid thing to say. A guy would have to be a special kind of retarded to ask his gf why she doesn't dress like a porn star / celebrity dressed like a porn star. The kind of guy who'd say that is likely to say, "you know, you really acted like a cunt tonight."

[Nick Spencer]

Points taken, guys.

Yeah, lots of women like porn. And many think that porn is just some sort of entertainment on the side, something that doesn't affect the relationship because the guy loves the woman he's with.

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag. It's easy to say that a woman needs to realize that there's a difference between fantasy and reality, etc...but the reality IS that sex, and porn, sells...and that puts a lot of pressure on a large percentage of the female population.

But most guys don't get it...so no use me trying to explain. It's not an argument that needs to be won - it's a fact, supported by the self-esteem and mental health issues of a good portion of the female population on this planet. The stuff men like to look at DOES wreak havoc on a woman's self-image.

Not telling anyone to change their ways, just suggesting that - in some cases - you do need to think of the feelings of your significant other.

das

That to me, is a bit of a different issue. This is aso why I say enough couples don't make use of "Don't ask, don't tell" as a policy for a lot of things.

Of course she wouldn't mind playing around with that guy at her work if she wasn't with you. Don't ask, don't tell.

Of course your dick isn't the absolute biggest thing she's ever taken. Don't ask, don't tell.

Of course there is something you do on a regular basis that she finds repulsive and unattractive. Don't ask tell, don't tell.

Same on the other side: Of course he watches porn. Don't ask, don't tell. If a guy is shoving porn in a girl's face all the time, or referencing it in regards to his own relationship, he's telling. There are some exceptions to this, like "I saw this and thought maybe it was something you'd be into," but "You should look like that" is certainly not one of those exceptions.

Its a two way street. But again, we live in this age where couples give each other no privacy and want them baring their souls at each other constantly. Same well placed lies, and some unspoken truths, can be very good for a relationship-- though these days a lot of people act like its the worst thing anyone could ever do.

[mario]

guys -even married guys- need to "unload" their stuff at regular times. It's a biological thing.
It eases tension, it relaxes and sometimes you don't WANT your wife to be there.
Masturbating to porn has nothing to do with your relationship with your significant other. Unless it's to a private wabcam girl, then it's adultery-by-proxy.
And hey, you can learn from porn and you can surprise her with some novel position.
I know I have!

[mike black]

I'm really glad my gf's cool about porn. Not being okay with it would probably be a dealbreaker for me.

Yeah, but you're not exactly a normal case. You're like an afficianado.

[Nick Spencer]

guys -even married guys- need to "unload" their stuff at regular times. It's a biological thing.

A think a lot of women, over time, have realized if the porn isn't there, they'll need to "take care" of the guy's needs WAY more often than they'd ever want, or he'll turn flat out unsufferable. Once they realize that, many women tend to relax their stance on porn/masturbation.

Also, let's not forget that regular ejaculation is a preventative of prostrate cancer. So if she really cares about me, she'll put my health first! :D

[DrMachine]

Jesus Christ...is this what men have become?

Having to ask wives for permission to have porn?...or worse yet gong to counseling?

Under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever submit to either of those.

[mario]

A think a lot of women, over time, have realized if the porn isn't there, they'll need to "take care" of the guy's needs WAY more often than they'd ever want, or he'll turn flat out unsufferable. Once they realize that, many women tend to relax their stance on porn/masturbation.

Also, let's not forget that regular ejaculation is a preventative of prostrate cancer. So if she really cares about me, she'll put my health first! :D

Try convincing your spouse that at 2 am when she had a rough day with the baby :)

Also prostitutes have prevented many, many spousal rapes, small wars, murders, etc...
Let's face it: testosterone does strange things to a man and he's equipped with 2 ticking timebombs producing more of the stuff dayly!

Not unloading regularly makes men crazy. Look at all those priests! Or Dave SIm!

[DrMachine]

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag.

IMO - if my wife took my recommendations on her appearance to mean she isn't good enough, then she's got waaay bigger problems than me looking at porn...

Gentlemen...these are the woman to avoid marrying if you at all want to STAY married and not be miserable.

[JHickman]

Jesus Christ...is this what men have become?

Having to ask wives for permission to have porn?...or worse yet gong to counseling?

Under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever submit to either of those.

I know. I use the assumptive close.

"Honey, you wanna have sex before you go to bed... Oh well, I guess I'll have to settle for porn"

;)

[mike black]

Jesus Christ...is this what men have become?

Having to ask wives for permission to have porn?...or worse yet gong to counseling?

Under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever submit to either of those.

My response was "I watch porn. I don't want to you have to be involved. I do it on my own time. If you want to watch too, cool. But I'm not going to stop."

[Foolish Mortal]

http://i13.tinypic.com/6kgxwtv.jpg

[King of Mars]

...

[ManOfMiracles]

To quote the great Goldmember from the Austin Powers film of the same name:

"What's wrong wit porn? Anyting in moderation is goot"

[changingshades]

Don't most guys grow out of the need to spank their monkey to "giant-tited Asian sluts" or whatever?

When I get laid consistently I won't need porn until then bring on my lady boys

er...lady boys

[kylethoreau]

To quote the great Goldmember from the Austin Powers film of the same name:

"What's wrong wit porn? Anyting in moderation is goot"

I don't remember that line in the movie....odd



and my gf damn near banned my porn. Didn't stop me of course....but there ya go.

[adam_warlock_2099]

The way I see it, there are 4 ways to go about this:

1.) Hide interest in porn from significant other.

2.) Repress interest in porn for sake of significant other.

3.) "Don't ask, don't tell" - significant other knows you may look at porn, but doesn't want to know the details.

4.) Shared interest in porn with significant other.

If you ask me, honesty is the most important part - therefore, I deem options 3 and 4 to be the healthy ones.

This is basically our shared thoughts on porn. We watch it together, I watch it alone, and she watches it alone. We have sex. We both masterbate. Just like anything it is the excess that is unhealthy.


Any wife you have to hide porn from isn't okay.

Anything you have to hide from your wife?


When you're in hell. Then anything goes. In the meantime, you have to answer to a higher authority (the woman in your life ;-) ). If she doesn't like it, then can't say it's okay.

One thing some guys may fail to realize is that some women have image problems (no?!). A woman may be offended by porn (both posed pictures and sexual acts) in that she feels she could never measure up to that - never be what she perceives you want her to be...and her insecurities may come out, and she may become physically and sexually reserved, for fear she's going to fall short of what you expect. So...before getting pissy about your woman not liking porn, think of what it could be doing to her, and her self-image.

Of course, some women like porn and so the above comments wouldn't apply to them.

das

I like lesbian porn. Yeah I know big surprise. However I would never want to see my wife have sex with another woman. I would have a Hulk sized Gamma Jealousy Ground Slam. Hence I watch porn. I even watch lesbian porn with my wife. And I am sure that my wife thinks that David Boreanz is more then just a good actor. But you know she takes care of two kids, so if that's the image she needs, doesn't bother me a bit.


Hiding porn is cheating to most women because you're seeking sex outside of the relationship.

If masturbation REPLACES sex, then I could see that.


Fantasy is not reality. Women who object to porn either don't understand that, or believe their boyfriends don't understand that. Either way, it's not really about the porn.



Watching porn is not having sex. Women who think otherwise are nuts.

It is a sexual act. Whether it is sex or not depends on what you define sex. Which to many is different. I wouldn't be any less pissed seeing my wife give a man a blowjob, or to see a man vaginal penetrating my wife. It is the intent behind the act that to me would define it to be infidelity or not.


Points taken, guys.

Yeah, lots of women like porn. And many think that porn is just some sort of entertainment on the side, something that doesn't affect the relationship because the guy loves the woman he's with.

But when a guy starts saying to his woman, 'why don't you dress like that', or 'why don't you do that', well...the message sent to all those anorexia-prone gals out there is 'I'm not good enough'. I know it's hard for some guys to understand, but women ARE affected by the images of other women out there - whether it be that of a slender model in a fashion magazine, or some mega-breasted chick in a porn flick or Penthouse mag. It's easy to say that a woman needs to realize that there's a difference between fantasy and reality, etc...but the reality IS that sex, and porn, sells...and that puts a lot of pressure on a large percentage of the female population.

But most guys don't get it...so no use me trying to explain. It's not an argument that needs to be won - it's a fact, supported by the self-esteem and mental health issues of a good portion of the female population on this planet. The stuff men like to look at DOES wreak havoc on a woman's self-image.

Not telling anyone to change their ways, just suggesting that - in some cases - you do need to think of the feelings of your significant other.

das

This is why preggo porn is so awesome.

And I don't like skinny chicks. I like them just the size as my wife. I like the Faith pictures Mr Deffering is always posting in the Megathread. She's by far "skinny" yet still helluva attractive.


i agree with this. which is why it's important to find someone who's compatible with your own tastes/desires.

there are plenty of women who are okay with porn on some level or another. ultimately, if you have to hide something like this from your significant other, then you should probably look at how healthy your relationship with them is to begin with.

Yes. True. Share what you do. My wife wasn't in the least offended at my preggo porn. Just kind of intrigued. Then I got her pregnant. 8-)

[Nick Spencer]

Yes. True. Share what you do. My wife wasn't in the least offended at my preggo porn. Just kind of intrigued. Then I got her pregnant. 8-)

You...

You...

You inspire me.

[Barry Hollifield]

Porn is O.K......all of the time!!!

[changingshades]

Porn is O.K......all of the time!!!
.

all day, everyday

[Barry Hollifield]

.

:cool:

[adam_warlock_2099]

You...

You...

You inspire me.

There are a lot of things that I would have thought she would find offensive about my sexual tastes, that she surprised me with.

I'm serious. Nothing can be lost from sharing with the person that you share a sexual relationship with. The worst thing that can happen is one person is like "no I don't want to do that/like that".

Hence not anal sex in this house.

[changingshades]

There are a lot of things that I would have thought she would find offensive about my sexual tastes, that she surprised me with.

I'm serious. Nothing can be lost from sharing with the person that you share a sexual relationship with. The worst thing that can happen is one person is like "no I don't want to do that/like that".

Hence not anal sex in this house.
as someone who's tried anal, you're really not missing much.

[adam_warlock_2099]

as someone who's tried anal, you're really not missing much.

Yeah I kinda figured I didn't want to stick my penis in an orifice that exudes shit.

But it was brave of you to try.

[Nick Spencer]

as someone who's tried anal, you're really not missing much.

I agree. Hate it. A finger or two is fine if she asks for it, but other than that... blech... I can't divorce myself from the knowledge of where I'm putting it.

[changingshades]

Yeah I kinda figured I didn't want to stick my penis in an orifice that exudes shit.

But it was brave of you to try.

at best it's just an overly lubed up orifice. at worst...Pink sock.

[changingshades]

I agree. Hate it. A finger or two is fine if she asks for it, but other than that... blech... I can't divorce myself from the knowledge of where I'm putting it.

the thing about it is, porn really ruins you for it. They pretty much bleach their asses to make it not a disgusting dank thing that assholes really are.

take it from me kids, anal is overrated.

[Nick Spencer]

the thing about it is, porn really ruins you for it. They pretty much bleach their asses to make it not a disgusting dank thing that assholes really are.

take it from me kids, anal is overrated.

I had a one night stand with a girl who kept begging for it. She would ask me what I wanted to do, then when I didn't say anal, she'd say "Don't you wanna put it in my ass?" This repeated itself like 3 times. Clearly she was in the mood for it and I felt bad for being the 1 out of 10 guys that DIDN'T want to. I almost did just due to principle of it, but decided it against it anyway...

I'll try anything once. In the case of anal, once was more than enough.

[changingshades]

I had a one night stand with a girl who kept begging for it. She would ask me what I wanted to do, then when I didn't say anal, she'd say "Don't you wanna put it in my ass?" This repeated itself like 3 times. Clearly she was in the mood for it and I felt bad for being the 1 out of 10 guys that DIDN'T want to. I almost did just due to principle of it, but decided it against it anyway...

I'll try anything once. In the case of anal, once was more than enough.

on a related note, I know 2 girls that are completely against anal. One is against porn in general too, the other is all about porn, but doesn't like anal or oral. It's weird.

[MIKE D]

The deal with porn and marriage is this: don't hide it. If it's this big secret thing you are into behind her back, of course she's going to feel betrayed, especially if you jerk off more than you actually fuck.

If she has a problem with it, or the amount you have, here's the other thing about marriage. It's based in part on compromise, and like it or not there are things that have to take a backseat to a healthy, adult relationship. If the alternative to her changing you of spanking habits is you changing her into being OK with porn when she's not, nobody's getting the desired effect without a compromise on someone's part. In which case, the relationship is in trouble.

I love porn, but it's never something I'd choose a real relationship over. It just doesn't define me enough to be something I'd take a stance on changing.

[Nick Spencer]

on a related note, I know 2 girls that are completely against anal. One is against porn in general too, the other is all about porn, but doesn't like anal or oral. It's weird.

When I meet a girl that doesn't like oral, its like somebody showing me a beautiful car that won't run.

[adam_warlock_2099]

The deal with porn and marriage is this: don't hide it. If it's this big secret thing you are into behind her back, of course she's going to feel betrayed, especially if you jerk off more than you actually fuck.

If she has a problem with it, or the amount you have, here's the other thing about marriage. It's based in part on compromise, and like it or not there are things that have to take a backseat to a healthy, adult relationship. If the alternative to her changing you of spanking habits is you changing her into being OK with porn when she's not, nobody's getting the desired effect without a compromise on someone's part. In which case, the relationship is in trouble.

I love porn, but it's never something I'd choose a real relationship over. It just doesn't define me enough to be something I'd take a stance on changing.

That's it right there for me too. If it weren't for a wife that was cool with sex, I just wouldn't watch porn, or would at least, if the need arouse, to relieve myself, would do it discreetly.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

porn is okay as long as you don't get caught.
simple as that

Amen.

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

as someone who's tried anal, you're really not missing much.

Ignore the above.

[changingshades]

When I meet a girl that doesn't like oral, its like somebody showing me a beautiful car that won't run.

I just really hate when women are so damn self conscious about receiving oral. Every time, EVERY DAMN TIME, I've given, I've gotten her off. It is just mind boggling.

mmm, sticky face.

[c. page]

as someone who's tried anal, you're really not missing much.

i think he was talking about being on the giving end, jon. not the receiving end. ;)

[changingshades]

i think he was talking about being on the giving end, jon. not the receiving end. ;)

you'll receive my end if you're not careful. :mad:

[c. page]

you'll receive my end if you're not careful. :mad:

fuck the patriots?

[c. page]

Ignore the above.

i agree. enjoyable experience with the right person.

[changingshades]

fuck the patriots?

aye, that's the stuff

[changingshades]

i agree. enjoyable experience with the right person.

It seems like too much effort to lube it up to being anything worthwhile, when there's a nice hole right there ready and waiting.

[half guard]

Jesus Christ...is this what men have become?

Having to ask wives for permission to have porn?...or worse yet gong to counseling?

Under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever submit to either of those.

agreed on all points. this is ridiculous; especially the idea that you'd have to go to counseling because of it.

the only time counseling would even be an option would be in the case where someone is spending so much time surfing / downloading porn that it's begun to affect their ability to handle their normal responsibilities. and in those rare cases, the problem is not the porn. it's their own lack of self control, etc.

[Forrest]

Jesus Christ...is this what men have become?

Having to ask wives for permission to have porn?...or worse yet gong to counseling?

Under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever submit to either of those.

Dude, don't be scured of counseling. It can be amazing and we are all a little crazy. Even hormonally stable guys have weird ass issues that they would never figure out without counseling.


There are a lot of things that I would have thought she would find offensive about my sexual tastes, that she surprised me with.

I'm serious. Nothing can be lost from sharing with the person that you share a sexual relationship with. The worst thing that can happen is one person is like "no I don't want to do that/like that".

Hence not anal sex in this house.

Very true. My wife has given me insane liberties just because we started talking about sex very openly. I've been completely amazed at some of the stuff she is cool with!

[Nick Spencer]

agreed on all points. this is ridiculous; especially the idea that you'd have to go to counseling because of it.

the only time counseling would even be an option would be in the case where someone is spending so much time surfing / downloading porn that it's begun to affect their ability to handle their normal responsibilities. and in those rare cases, the problem is not the porn. it's their own lack of self control, etc.

And I don't trust couples counselors.

First, they know that 99 percent of the time, the therapy is the woman's idea, and I'm sorry, but they're not gonna bite the hand that feeds them. That is one rigged card game for the guy walking in.

Second, I don't need to pay some asshole to tell me my girlfriend's right. I already know that's probably the case.

[adam_warlock_2099]

i think he was talking about being on the giving end, jon. not the receiving end. ;)

It's J-o-H-n . . . at least you could spell it right.

Ohh wait, I see what your doing there . . . nevermind. ;-)

[adam_warlock_2099]

Very true. My wife has given me insane liberties just because we started talking about sex very openly. I've been completely amazed at some of the stuff she is cool with!

She bought a whip because I shared. And she knows how to use it. Win/win situation for me. :D

[Akira]

My girl knows that I know porn. Hell, we met through it in a way. She just wants me to introduce her to the "world of porn" as we go along. She's good, giving and game.

[changingshades]

It's J-o-H-n . . . at least you could spell it right.

Ohh wait, I see what your doing there . . . nevermind. ;-)

:x

[Akira]

Dude, don't be scured of counseling. It can be amazing and we are all a little crazy. Even hormonally stable guys have weird ass issues that they would never figure out without counseling.
No doubt. But for porn? PORN?!?!? What next? Going to counseling for watching too much football?

[adam_warlock_2099]

:x

:lol: I always wanted to do that "I see what your doing there" thing that everyone else does.

[changingshades]

:lol: I always wanted to do that "I see what your doing there" thing that everyone else does.

I reiterate :x

[Nick Spencer]

No doubt. But for porn? PORN?!?!? What next? Going to counseling for watching too much football?

You say that like it's never happened before.

[Rosdower 3.0]

this is all going to end badly...

with that said, I can't wait to read this thread.

[Freeway]

I'm not sure I understand the question.

[half guard]

this is all going to end badly...

it'll be okay...until she insists that he takes a lie detector test every night to prove his hasn't been surfing for porn.

[FedEx Fanboy]

all day, everyday

I agree. How else am I supposed to watch the Terabytes of porn I've accumulated!!!

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

it'll be okay...until she insists that he takes a lie detector test every night to prove his hasn't been surfing for porn.

That was the best thread ever.

[c. page]

it'll be okay...until she insists that he takes a lie detector test every night to prove his hasn't been surfing for porn.

:lol:

[Rosdower 3.0]

it'll be okay...until she insists that he takes a lie detector test every night to prove his hasn't been surfing for porn.

hahaha very true. I was also thinking about all of things that would be brought up here in this thread, that could end badly.

[half guard]

Going to counseling for watching too much football?

blasphemy! :mad:

[DrMachine]

Dude, don't be scured of counseling. It can be amazing and we are all a little crazy. Even hormonally stable guys have weird ass issues that they would never figure out without counseling.

i assume you mean "scared"...I'm not...as a catholic I had to do it prior to marriage
it sucked I will not under any circumstances do it again

[Keith P.]

There is nothing wrong with porn.

And guys look at porn for one reason. To masturbate. And there is nothing wrong with masturbation, I do it, you do it, everyone on this board does it.

And if you don't you are either..

1)Lying.
2)Fucked up in the head
3)Lying
4)Lying.


Men are aroused by visual stimulus, its how we are biologically wired. Which is what porn is.

If your girlfriend has a problem with you looking at porn, and having a wank every once in awhile, dump her.

Seriously. Because if she is jealous of well...paper or video fantasy material, she has some HUGE insecurity related issues and you are setting yourself up for a life of hell.

Straight people are so wierd.

[amy]

and god bless those women.


Awww. Thanks

[Shwicaz]

I guess its up to each individual couple.

I admit I have looked at my fair share of porn. Sometimes hubby and i check shit out together.

But I don't use it as a replacement for sex w/ Matt. More as tittilation.

[Shepherd]

Geez, I'm amazed by some of these responses. I think hiding anything from your spouse is definitely unhealthy for the relationship.

My wife and I had a porn talk before we got married. I explained to her why I watched it sometimes and offered her to watch it with me. She did a few times, but didn't enjoy it much (although thought some was okay). She's very secure, though, and isn't bothered by me watching it alone sometimes. In fact, if she's too tired she tells me to go watch it from time to time to get me to leave her alone :)

R

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

It's too early to read the whole thread, but didn't anybody talk about homemade porn? Nowadays it's very easy to shoot it yourself.

[Pat Shatner]

It's too early to read the whole thread, but didn't anybody talk about homemade porn? Nowadays it's very easy to shoot it yourself.

Yeah, but what if my wife isn't a redhead? And I don't have easy access to a good wig store?

[Alex(sadly)Maleev]

Yeah, but what if my wife isn't a redhead? And I don't have easy access to a good wig store?

Who says it has to be your wife?

[Akira]

There is nothing wrong with porn.

And guys look at porn for one reason. To masturbate. And there is nothing wrong with masturbation, I do it, you do it, everyone on this board does it.

And if you don't you are either..

1)Lying.
2)Fucked up in the head
3)Lying
4)Lying.


Men are aroused by visual stimulus, its how we are biologically wired. Which is what porn is.

If your girlfriend has a problem with you looking at porn, and having a wank every once in awhile, dump her.

Seriously. Because if she is jealous of well...paper or video fantasy material, she has some HUGE insecurity related issues and you are setting yourself up for a life of hell.

Straight people are so wierd.

Keith, anyone ever tell you that you should write a book on relationship advice? Because this whole post, especially the bolded sections are gospel truth and need to be told to more people more often.

[half guard]

But I don't use it as a replacement for sex w/ Matt. More as tittilation.

bingo.

[Joe Kalicki]

I enjoy the stories.

[Mylazycat]

I agree. Hate it. A finger or two is fine if she asks for it, but other than that... blech...

I agree. Never, ever was a fan of it.

[Mylazycat]

on a related note, I know 2 girls that are completely against anal. One is against porn in general too, the other is all about porn, but doesn't like anal or oral. It's weird.

OR ORAL?

NO ORAL?!?!?!

I'll never understand that girl who called in to Sue's Sunday Night Sex Show who loved going down on her man but thought him going down on her was gross and disqusting.:surrend:

[Mylazycat]

the only time counseling would even be an option would be in the case where someone is spending so much time posting/responding to Bendis Board threads that it's begun to affect their ability to handle their normal responsibilities. and in those rare cases, the problem is not the Bendis Board. it's their own lack of self control, etc.

Fixed. :cool:

[adam_warlock_2099]

Geez, I'm amazed by some of these responses. I think hiding anything from your spouse is definitely unhealthy for the relationship.

My wife and I had a porn talk before we got married. I explained to her why I watched it sometimes and offered her to watch it with me. She did a few times, but didn't enjoy it much (although thought some was okay). She's very secure, though, and isn't bothered by me watching it alone sometimes. In fact, if she's too tired she tells me to go watch it from time to time to get me to leave her alone :)

R

I've been given that treatment too. However, most of the time that I am told that, I want sex, not getting raped by my hand. So then I just go to bed with nothing. :sad:


Yeah, but what if my wife isn't a redhead? And I don't have easy access to a good wig store?

:no: Pink bob wig. ;-)

[Akira]

take it from me kids, anal is overrated.
To you maybe. Different strokes for different folks

[Forrest]

And I don't trust couples counselors.

First, they know that 99 percent of the time, the therapy is the woman's idea, and I'm sorry, but they're not gonna bite the hand that feeds them. That is one rigged card game for the guy walking in.

Second, I don't need to pay some asshole to tell me my girlfriend's right. I already know that's probably the case.

This is an ignorant and over generalized view of couples counselors. My wife and I saw a female couples counselor, last year and she wasn't like this at all. In fact, she sided with me almost 100% on any sex issues my wife and I had.

You just have to find a counselor who isn't a hack.


No doubt. But for porn? PORN?!?!? What next? Going to counseling for watching too much football?

Well, that could also be a blessing in disguise because the counselor may very well end up criticizing the woman for being so uptight about porn. (Unless, there really is a problem with the guy's habit.) If porn is such a problem in a relationship, the sex life is messed up. A good couples counselor can work on that.


She bought a whip because I shared. And she knows how to use it. Win/win situation for me. :D

I'll one up ya, my wife wants me to sleep with other women. :cool:




And guys look at porn for one reason. To masturbate.

Exactly, given the real opportunity, I'd never touch Sunrise Adams or Katja Kassin but I sure like watching them.

[glk]

And I don't trust couples counselors.

First, they know that 99 percent of the time, the therapy is the woman's idea, and I'm sorry, but they're not gonna bite the hand that feeds them. That is one rigged card game for the guy walking in.

Second, I don't need to pay some asshole to tell me my girlfriend's right. I already know that's probably the case.

That's completely paranoid, and not what couple's counseling is at all. We did counseling before we got married to strengthen our communication and work through some issues. It was incredible and one of the best things we ever did. It does NOT mean the marriage is in trouble or have to do with who is right. If that's what you think, you're missing the point and really don't know what it's about at all.

[changingshades]

OR ORAL?

NO ORAL?!?!?!

I'll never understand that girl who called in to Sue's Sunday Night Sex Show who loved going down on her man but thought him going down on her was gross and disqusting.:surrend:

this is what i'm trying to convey here.

[changingshades]

To you maybe. Different strokes for different folks

some times I like to masturbate thumbs down.

[Nick Spencer]

That's completely paranoid, and not what couple's counseling is at all. We did counseling before we got married to strengthen our communication and work through some issues. It was incredible and one of the best things we ever did. It does NOT mean the marriage is in trouble or have to do with who is right. If that's what you think, you're missing the point and really don't know what it's about at all.

Hey, don't blame me for you getting duped.

:D

And that's not paranoid, its just common sense. 99 percent of the time, counseling is the wife's idea. A counselor that wants to stay in business is gonna give them what they want, plain and simple.

[glk]

And that's not paranoid, its just common sense. 99 percent of the time, counseling is the wife's idea. A counselor that wants to stay in business is gonna give them what they want, plain and simple.

So because women generally want to save their marriage through communication more than men, an entire realm of psychologists are out their making money by agreeing with whatever women tell them and blaming men in order to stay in business? That's the opposite of common sense.

[Forrest]

And that's not paranoid, its just common sense. 99 percent of the time, counseling is the wife's idea. A counselor that wants to stay in business is gonna give them what they want, plain and simple.

No, that is paranoid. That's like saying doctors don't want to fix sick people because then they can't make more money off that sick person. When I'm sick, I still choose to go see a doctor, even if he/she knows that fixing me may mean he/she will never see my $$$ again.

And doesn't the woman want the relationship to get better? It won't if she's just given an ego boost without any of the real problems being addressed.

The counselor you described is not a true counselor but an unethical hack. I refuse to believe that the vast majority of couples counselors are unethical hacks.

[Gregory]

The counselor you described is not a true counselor but an unethical hack. I refuse to believe that the vast majority of couples counselors are unethical hacks.

Our couples counselor was an idiot. She demanded I make changes and assurances when my wife was the one who moved out while I was at work.

[Nick Spencer]

No, that is paranoid. That's like saying doctors don't want to fix sick people because then they can't make more money off that sick person. When I'm sick, I still choose to go see a doctor, even if he/she knows that fixing me may mean he/she will never see my $$$ again.

And doesn't the woman want the relationship to get better? .

Well, she wants the relationship to get better HER WAY.

And honestly, I think doctors take their jobs a little more seriously than the average couples counselor. I'm just saying there's a predisposition that comes with the person who suggests it.

But then, I'm not a big fan of the therapy age in general. People need to suck it in more. I don't mean the people with real problems and sickness, I'm talking about these people who are just having a rough year, or a mid-life crisis, and need somewhere to cry about it. Society needs to toughen up a bit. Not saying we should go back to the 50s or anything, but there IS a middle ground.

[Nick Spencer]

So because women generally want to save their marriage through communication more than men, an entire realm of psychologists are out their making money by agreeing with whatever women tell them and blaming men in order to stay in business? That's the opposite of common sense.

How so? Sounds like capitalism to me.

[glk]

Well, she wants the relationship to get better HER WAY.

I think you have larger issues with women playing out here.

[RegularJoe]

I think you have larger issues with women playing out here.

he also wants sisters to fuck each other...so there's that. ;)

[XXXenophile]

OR ORAL?

NO ORAL?!?!?!

I'll never understand that girl who called in to Sue's Sunday Night Sex Show who loved going down on her man but thought him going down on her was gross and disqusting.:surrend:

Oh I've been having that discussion with a close friend of mine for YEARS.

She will to all the guys, but won't let any touch her. I keep telling it needs to be attempted at least once to be sure.

[Ethan Van Sciver]

Counseling is such a bad idea. It's just a chance for both partners to unload on the other one in front of a witness. I'm not sure that's gonna work out.

Stifle that resentment and have a donut.

[changingshades]

PORN: http://www.flickr.com/photos/von_brandis/sets/72157602218198138/

[Matt Jay]

Always. I have my porn she has her romance novels.

[Matt Jay]

Counseling is such a bad idea. It's just a chance for both partners to unload on the other one in front of a witness. I'm not sure that's gonna work out.

Stifle that resentment and have a donut.

Counseling is great. If you have a decent counselor, it promotes rational thinking and compromise.

[adam_warlock_2099]

Counseling is such a bad idea. It's just a chance for both partners to unload on the other one in front of a witness. I'm not sure that's gonna work out.

Stifle that resentment and have a donut.

:lol: I don't like donuts.

[Ethan Van Sciver]

Counseling is great. If you have a decent counselor, it promotes rational thinking and compromise.

Have you had marriage counseling before?

[changingshades]

If I were more juvenile I would make a spinoff parody thread: When is Porn Gay?

[Joe Kalicki]

I have porn on speed dial.

[Nick Spencer]

I think you have larger issues with women playing out here.

Not really. In fact, you're a wee bit condescending when it comes to relationships, dontcha think? :D

I think counseling is a sham. I think people are over-communicating in relationships based on this mistaken ideal that great couples are the ones who tell each other everything, all the time, never need privacy or lie to one another, and should agree on everything. We live in this age where people constantly wanna bare their souls, and its just so off-putting and trite.

It's a myth. Doesn't exist. You can go a short period pretending life's that way, but eventually reality catches up.

But still, I appreciate the insinuation. My relationships have been pretty good for the most part, thanks for asking. :D Please, illuminate me as to my 'larger issues with women' o great one!

Just messin with ya, btw.

[jason hissong]

Where's Race?

I think he'd have some good insights into this . . .

[Pia Guerra]

Where's Race?

I think he'd have some good insights into this . . .

:rofl:

[jason hissong]

:rofl:

:thumb:

[glk]

Not really. In fact, you're a wee bit condescending when it comes to relationships, dontcha think? :D

I think counseling is a sham. I think people are over-communicating in relationships based on this mistaken ideal that great couples are the ones who tell each other everything, all the time, never need privacy or lie to one another, and should agree on everything. We live in this age where people constantly wanna bare their souls, and its just so off-putting and trite.

It's a myth. Doesn't exist. You can go a short period pretending life's that way, but eventually reality catches up.

But still, I appreciate the insinuation. My relationships have been pretty good for the most part, thanks for asking. :D Please, illuminate me as to my 'larger issues with women' o great one!

Just messin with ya, btw.

No disrespect meant. Counseling for us was fantastic, and not at all about how she was right and our marriage should be molded in HER image. That's all I'm trying to explain - counseling isn't this big mythical machine that emasculates men.

[Nick Spencer]

No disrespect meant. Counseling for us was fantastic, and not at all about how she was right and our marriage should be molded in HER image. That's all I'm trying to explain - counseling isn't this big mythical machine that emasculates men.

Are you sure?

Cause you sound kinda whipped to me.

:D

[glk]

Are you sure?

Cause you sound kinda whipped to me.

:D

Touche. ;)

[Gordon Chumway]

I really need a Home Alone picture for my sig. except instead of the Wet Bandits in the back ground some pornstars holding 40ozers.

[Blandy vs Terrorism]

On days that end in "y".

[c. page]

Counseling is such a bad idea. It's just a chance for both partners to unload on the other one in front of a witness. I'm not sure that's gonna work out.

Stifle that resentment and have a donut.

says the man whose wife apparently took him hostage and made him draw pictures. (according to ebay, anyway)

[niceguyeddie]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

My Future Wife just went home to visit her family for 10 days. Now I'm not a porn guy(as in I don't own any), but I was thinking if any time I should be allowed to watch porn it should be now.

Wait, let me rephrase that, "allowed" is the wrong word. I do what I want, I'm a man. :D

anytime the doors closed, locked and you're at the very least fairly sure you're alone in the house.

[Mylazycat]

Question for those of you who do watch porn with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse - at what stage in the relationship was the idea of watching porn together introduced into the picture?

[PimpSlapStick!]

So my cousin just recently got in trouble with the wife about the amount of porn on his PC. She wants to go to counceling.

My Future Wife just went home to visit her family for 10 days. Now I'm not a porn guy(as in I don't own any), but I was thinking if any time I should be allowed to watch porn it should be now.

Wait, let me rephrase that, "allowed" is the wrong word. I do what I want, I'm a man. :D

Do whatr you want, fuck that.


Your name sounds like a porn name.

[Ryudo]

Question for those of you who do watch porn with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse - at what stage in the relationship was the idea of watching porn together introduced into the picture?

Post anal, but before the dirty sanchez.

[adam_warlock_2099]

Question for those of you who do watch porn with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse - at what stage in the relationship was the idea of watching porn together introduced into the picture?

Well I watched porn before I was married, and upon finding out that I was going to marry her, I disposed of my porn before she moved in with me. I would say it was within the 2-3 year of our marriage that she started opening up to the idea of watching it with me.

But I also take into an account that in the 2nd year of our marriage, my wife had gastic bypass surgery, lossing almost have of her weight. So I take into account that a lot of her apprehension of dislike of me and/or us watching porn was because she felt that she didn't measure up to the women in the porn. When she gained more self confidence, that seemed to fall to the wayside and since then we have always enjoyed watching films together.

[Ryudo]

I guess some girls don't understand, thin chicks are okay on the TV, but pussy right next to you is pussy right next to you.

[Matt Jay]

Have you had marriage counseling before?

Couples counseling, yes. It was for a 6 year relationship, though. Kinda like marriage without the legal benefits.

[Kariz0rz]

This is my first time posting on this website. I actually just registered on this website for this thread alone.

I'm currently in a relationship where my boyfriend hid porn from me. He'd wait until I was in the kitchen cooking a long meal, or wait until I left for class, or would stay up after I went to bed to look up porn. It was never anything we had discussed, so I was really shocked to find out about it, so my reaction probably wasn't the best.

Every time he got "caught" he wouldn't really discuss it, he still has a hard time talking about it. Apparently he was raised to not discuss porn. I felt pretty hurt that he didn't consider involving me in his porn surfing. It was never an "us" thing, it was always a "him" thing. I was the one that had to suggest we look together, and even then I jack him off, and that's it. I haven't gotten him to the point where we both get to enjoy it. That and it takes awhile to get me off via hand stimulation, and he can't really perform oral while we're watching...and he's still adjusting to the whole vibrator use.

He eventually explained to me that sometimes he just wants to come home, see some tits and jack off. It's in no way better than sex, it's just different and something he enjoys doing himself sometimes. Keep in mind, we have a pretty healthy sex life, or I think so at least. That's another thing that worried me, I'll put out whenever, where ever, however. I have a much higher sex drive than him, so I was hurt, it wasn't like he wasn't getting his needs met by me.

I still struggle with it some days. I will admit that I have insecurities. I'm not the skinniest girl, I've had some rocky "relationships" in the past where I've been abused. I didn't really grow up looking at porn, I never even had an orgasm until I bought my first vibrator at 19 (I started having sex at 16).

I don't think every girl fantasizes about other men. I know I don't. Sure, I look at guys and think "he's attractive", but I don't think about being sexual with him or anything of that sort. And when I look at porn by myself (yeah, I know, it's kind of hypocritical to look at it myself, but be insecure about him looking....but I didn't really look until I figured out he was), I think about being with my boyfriend. I'll think about texting him while he's at work and sending him dirty messages. Porn is literally just visual stimulation for me. I actually don't have a problem just myself and a toy, I just think about being with him.

I know it's unreasonable for me to think he won't look at other women. I'm trying to come to terms with that. I think most men will find out that their significant others are pretty understanding. I wish my boyfriend was more open about porn so we could explore it a little more together. Keeping it to yourself does nothing but make your significant other worry. If you hide something as small as porn, what else might you hide? That's what crossed my mind.

Sorry for the novel, but it's an issue that we're still working through, so I've still got some strong feelings towards it.