See This Is Why I Don't Swim In The Ocean

[adam_warlock_2099]

I got this email from my brother-in-law. Don't know how valid the story is, but the picture is enough to keep me out of the ocean.


Family on holiday in Australia for a week and ahalf when husband, wife and their 15 year old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience.

His son wanted a pic of his mum and dad in all their gear so got the underwater camera on the go. When it came totaking the pic the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was alright.

The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely shitting himself.

When the parents asked why he said "there was a shark behind you" and the dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true and that they wouldn't believe him if he told them what it was.

As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop and this is what they saw.

(Try and tell me you wouldn't have emptied your entire digestive system right at the point you saw it) and would you have stayed to take the picture??

http://i8.tinypic.com/6u42vsk.jpg

[Tom Burgos]

Holy Effing God!!!!

[Keith P.]

This sounds like an Urban Legend/Photshop thing but...


Yes, if I turned around and saw that, I would most like shit myself and then die of heart failure.

[Amos Moses]

Shit like this and Steven Spielberg keep me out of the Oceans.

[Boris the Blade]

Old and fake.

[Keith P.]

If I visited Australia, I would personally never leave a major city, as the vast majority of the wildlife is capable of inflicting agonizing death.

[Garth]

Enough to give me nightmares....this shit scares me.

[joespam]

Great pic, but false, according to Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/scubashark.asp).



this image of scuba divers with their backs to a menacing shark approaching them from just a few feet away is a digital manipulation. It's yet another entry plucked out of context from a Worth100 Photoshop contest, this one entitled "Vacation Bloopers 6."

[mike black]

Any time you get an e-mail of a story....and the story doesn't mention names?

Fake.

[Boris the Blade]

Even in the major cities there's stuff. My sister told me much about spiders in the attic. She said anything with red on it, apparently can make you die.

[The Human Target]

I don't understand how anyone ever thought that was real.

[Ashwin Pande]

Fake or not.. that's a cool picture. It even kinda looks like the shark is smiling for the camera!

[The Human Target]

http://www.wpclipart.com/animals/aquatic/shark/Shark_attacks_helicopter.png

My cousin is the scuba diver. He fought the shark off, as he is a tenth level black belt in the ancient Aztec art of ninjitsu.

[half guard]

This sounds like an Urban Legend/Photshop thing but...


Yes, if I turned around and saw that, I would most like shit myself and then die of heart failure.

agreed on all points.

[AAlgar]

I'm more concerned with loose seals anyway.

[Gunter]

I don't think you have to worry about that much in Oklahoma...


:)

[The Human Target]

I'm more concerned with loose seals anyway.

Her?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8a/LucilleHighballinAlone.JPG

[Ashwin Pande]

I'm more concerned with loose seals anyway.

Her?

EDIT : aw dammit... beaten to the punch by The Human Target.

[Whip]

I swam in the Caribbean Sea before, jumped off a boat with friends and family, with an asshole of an uncle saying "LOOK THERE'S A SHARK OVER THERE!" every five minutes. Not fun.

And I agree with Keith. If I ever saw a shark that big approaching, I'd just die before it could even get to me.

[Alabasterdeity]

Great whites have to swim forward constantly to breathe. If that pic was real he woulda bumped into the divers before they got a chance to swim away. It woulda been better w/o the story to go with it. :)

[adam_warlock_2099]

I don't think you have to worry about that much in Oklahoma...


:)

Yeah I'm pretty safe here Gunter. But still fake or not, yeah possibilites of things like that (and jellyfish) keep me out of the ocean.

[adam_warlock_2099]

Great whites have to swim forward constantly to breathe. If that pic was real he woulda bumped into the divers before they got a chance to swim away. It woulda been better w/o the story to go with it. :)

Quite true sir. Had the shark stopped swimming the water would have not flowed through his gills and he would have suffocated. But still. God-damn.

[bradical]

how many shark attacks are there compared to fatal car wrecks? or fatal slip and falls in the shower? or accidental electrocutions trying to make toast? or, you get my point?

[joespam]

So now that we've established that the photo is fake, you should feel fine about going into the ocean.

Say, in a kayak:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/joespam/bendisPix/sharkkayak.jpg

[MIKE D]

how many shark attacks are there compared to fatal car wrecks? or fatal slip and falls in the shower? or accidental electrocutions trying to make toast? or, you get my point?

I agree. It's just so silly.

[Ryan Elliott]

Jesus Fuck that's scary.


I'd completely lose control of my bowels.

[Fourthman]

If I visited Australia, I would personally never leave a major city, as the vast majority of the wildlife is capable of inflicting agonizing death.

Then arguably, you would have no reason to ever visit Australia.

[MIKE D]

Then arguably, you would have no reason to ever visit Australia.

Between that and Paul Hogan, I don't understand why it's ever even considered.

[Hollingsworth]

I went on a guided scuba diving excursion in Kaua'i once and we saw a whitetip shark, about 6 feet in length. It was just laying there on the bottom. The dive leader went up and prodded her so she'd swim and the rest of us were like "what the fuck!".

The dive leader explained that she was fat and happy and not dangerous when we surfaced. But I was none too happy when we were at depth.

[ClintP]

I went on a guided scuba diving excursion in Kaua'i once and we saw a whitetip shark, about 6 feet in length. It was just laying there on the bottom. The dive leader went up and prodded her so she'd swim and the rest of us were like "what the fuck!".

The dive leader explained that she was fat and happy and not dangerous when we surfaced. But I was none too happy when we were at depth.

I would have cut that douche with a knife to draw some blood and then push them in the ocean for that stunt.

[Marc Lombardi]

You fell for that? My God...it's like the picture of the guy in the winter coat atop the WTC on 9/11 with the jet about to hit. Or when someone photoshopped the StayPuft Marshmallow man there instead.

I never...ever...believe stories that get emailed to me at text without a link.

[JABSEN]

I would have cut that douche with a knife to draw some blood and then push them in the ocean for that stunt.That's a great plan. When you have sharks around, what you want to do is get some blood in the water.

[ClintP]

That's a great plan. When you have sharks around, what you want to do is get some blood in the water.

I watch Discovery Channel, and it is part of the plan. I would have stayed on the boat. ;)

[Garth]

how many shark attacks are there compared to fatal car wrecks? or fatal slip and falls in the shower? or accidental electrocutions trying to make toast? or, you get my point?

I get your point, but just the idea of a big fucking shark coming at you is SCARY! It isn't my death necessarily that is scary, it is what comes before my death.

[MIKE D]

I watch Discovery Channel, and it is part of the plan. I would have stayed on the boat. ;)

If you'd seen the Jaws films, you wouldn't have such confidence in boats. Helicopters too, for that matter.

[ClintP]

If you'd seen the Jaws films, you wouldn't have such confidence in boats. Helicopters too, for that matter.

I'll trust Shark Week and I Shouldn't be Alive over Jaws for my shark murder plans thank you very much!

[MIKE D]

I'll trust Shark Week and I Shouldn't be Alive over Jaws for my shark murder plans thank you very much!

When you are using a fear that has a .00001% chance of ever happening to you as a roadblock for doing anything in life, why stop at just documentaries in setting up the parameters of your fantasy?

[KingMob]

http://www.photoshoptalent.com/images/contests/urban%20legends/fullsize/urban%20legends_45fe7aae70d3a.jpg

[Foolish Mortal]

If I visited Australia, I would personally never leave a major city, as the vast majority of the wildlife is capable of inflicting agonizing death.
Cities aren't 100% safe either. Doesn't Australia have more types of venomous spiders than any other country?

[Jef UK]

Fake.

Not swimming in the ocean is silly.

[ClintP]

Cities aren't 100% safe either. Doesn't Australia have more types of venomous spiders than any other country?

I'll take being hit by a car over being torn in half or dying slowly and agonizing due to some poisonous critter. That's why I never leave my house!

[ClintP]

When you are using a fear that has a .00001% chance of ever happening to you as a roadblock for doing anything in life, why stop at just documentaries in setting up the parameters of your fantasy?

I was saying I would kill that guy over going and stirring up a resting shark for no good reason. I wasn't saying that I would never go into the ocean or some such. Though I do have a fear of the ugly critters in the ocean, but that didn't stop me from swimming to this island in Hawaii that took me 45 mins to get there.

[MIKE D]

I was saying I would kill that guy over going and stirring up a resting shark for no good reason. I wasn't saying that I would never go into the ocean or some such. Though I do have a fear of the ugly critters in the ocean, but that didn't stop me from swimming to this island in Hawaii that took me 45 mins to get there.

Oh, I misunderstood. You are back on my cool list.

[adam_warlock_2099]

Fake.

Not swimming in the ocean is silly.

It's not just sharks Jef. I also just don't like water. If it isn't a pool where I can swim to any four of the sides, then I'm just not getting in the water. I want to know that I can swim to the "shore" whenever I need to.

[ClintP]

Oh, I misunderstood. You are back on my cool list.

Just because I like to brag, I swam to Popoia Island (http://maps.google.com/?ie=UTF8&ll=21.398697,-157.71419&spn=0.024134,0.047035&z=15&om=1)

EDIT - Yay me for being cool!

[Jef UK]

It's not just sharks Jef. I also just don't like water. If it isn't a pool where I can swim to any four of the sides, then I'm just not getting in the water. I want to know that I can swim to the "shore" whenever I need to.

You will be easy to destroy in the upcoming culling.

[adam_warlock_2099]

You will be easy to destroy in the upcoming culling.

Yeah just throw me in the pile with the "Signs" aliens "allergic to water".

[AAlgar]

If you'd seen the Jaws films, you wouldn't have such confidence in boats. Helicopters too, for that matter.

What if you got a bigger boat?

[joespam]

It's not just sharks Jef. I also just don't like water. If it isn't a pool where I can swim to any four of the sides, then I'm just not getting in the water. I want to know that I can swim to the "shore" whenever I need to.
And even then...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/joespam/bendisPix/hammerhead.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/joespam/bendisPix/snl.gif

[Petey Parker]

I never saw that one but my girlfriend sent me an email that somebody sent her that was hilarious. Apparently the Bloods and the Crips have started a gang war at the Cherry Hill Mall and any time after 5PM they show up and start raping, robbing, and killing people. Apparently there are a lot of gullible people out there because they even did a report on the news to assure people it was fake.

[WillieLee]

Have your brother-in-law email me. I have some exciting business opportunities for him.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

http://www.wpclipart.com/animals/aquatic/shark/Shark_attacks_helicopter.png

My cousin is the scuba diver. He fought the shark off, as he is a tenth level black belt in the ancient Aztec art of ninjitsu.

when i was getting PADI certified, they told us to kick the living shit out of it's nose
if there's a bunch of them, they'll circle around you for a while, then one will just sort of come around and bump into you, then swim back out to the circle
then you're dead, they all pounce

so when that first one comes near, that's the nose you beat in the nose

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

If you'd seen the Jaws films, you wouldn't have such confidence in boats. Helicopters too, for that matter.

there was more than one JAWS?

[MIKE D]

there was more than one JAWS?

Unfortunately, yes.

[Rosemary's Baby]

Ever since I saw Jaws I have been slightly afraid of the ocean. However, that doesn't prevent me from swimming in it.

And I thought the belief that sharks aren't able to stop swimming was debunked. They have been observed sleeping.

[Keith P.]

I'm not a big fan of ocean swimming due to an unfortunate summer vacation encounter with a Jellyfish.