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View Full Version : Hey! It was 20 years ago this week that I lost my virginity!



Shane W
09-13-2007, 06:52 AM
To some slut at a wedding reception. We were on a park bench behind the VFW hall. (Don't judge me!)

The Dean
09-13-2007, 06:54 AM
Awesome-sauce!

David Eckstein would be proud.

PeterSparker
09-13-2007, 06:56 AM
Hey! It was 20 years ago this week that I lost my virginity

little know fact: that was actually the original starting verse of Sgt Peppers

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:03 AM
Dude must have been a virgin - he didn't realize I was a guy!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:04 AM
Your junk was soft and wet, and you have nice boobs.

NickT
09-13-2007, 07:06 AM
20 years ago, I was a bench. Mental scars never heal.

TheKraken
09-13-2007, 07:06 AM
little know fact: that was actually the original starting verse of Sgt Peppers

:lol:

Marc Lombardi
09-13-2007, 07:08 AM
20 years ago I was homeless and someone gave me a really odd tasting rubbery looking twinkie in a park behind a VFW. But I ate it because I was homeless and hungry. And now I still have that rash around my mouth.

Brian Defferding
09-13-2007, 07:09 AM
20 years ago, I was a benchwarmer on my elementary school's basketball team.

TheKraken
09-13-2007, 07:10 AM
20 years ago, I was 9. And I saw Jim & Shane fucking on a bench. And it ruined my life.

RegularJoe
09-13-2007, 07:11 AM
To some slut at a wedding reception. We were on a park bench behind the VFW hall. (Don't judge me!)

but what if the judgement was a positive one? can i judge you then?

mattbrand
09-13-2007, 07:11 AM
http://www.oldjawbone.com/matt/bananaman.jpg

TIP
09-13-2007, 07:11 AM
20 years and 1 day ago I had to repair a bench that'd been heavily splooched.

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:12 AM
but what if the judgement was a positive one? can i judge you then?

NO!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:12 AM
20 years ago, I was 9. And I saw Jim & Shane fucking on a bench. And it ruined my life.

:rofl:

PeterSparker
09-13-2007, 07:12 AM
20 years ago, I was 9. And I saw Jim & Shane fucking on a bench. And it ruined my life.
20 years ago I was watching you watching Jim and Shane and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 07:16 AM
My mom wasn't a slut...she preferred a "lady of the night."

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:17 AM
My mom wasn't a slut...she preferred a "lady of the night."

Crap, How old are you?

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:18 AM
Crap, How old are you?

It all makes sense now!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:19 AM
It all makes sense now!

He takes the make-up wearing from your side ya know.

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 07:20 AM
Crap, How old are you?

20

Gregory
09-13-2007, 07:22 AM
20 years ago, I stole some of Shane's mail, and I snagged myself a kick-ass shirt.

modungo
09-13-2007, 07:24 AM
20 years ago I thought Van Halen, Nintendo and Superman were awesome. I still do.

Mylazycat
09-13-2007, 07:24 AM
20

http://www.deneroff.com/Images/News04/inspector_gadget_01.jpg

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:25 AM
Worst. Thread merge. Ever.

dEnny!
09-13-2007, 07:25 AM
Worst. Thread merge. Ever.

Would you prefer a parody infraction?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:25 AM
Worst. Thread merge. Ever.

Agreed.. Wanna fuck?

dEnny!
09-13-2007, 07:25 AM
20

:heybaby:

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:28 AM
Would you prefer a parody infraction?

:) I was half expecting one but it was too good a parody to pass up! I will gladly take the merge!

Marc Lombardi
09-13-2007, 07:28 AM
20 years from now we'll be talking about a parody thread that was poorly merged with another thread and we'll laugh and laugh and laugh. And then dEnny will smite us all.

Mylazycat
09-13-2007, 07:30 AM
20 years from now we'll be talking about a parody thread that was poorly merged with another thread and we'll laugh and laugh and laugh. And then dEnny will smite us all.

And by "smite" you mean lick tenderly, right?

dEnny!
09-13-2007, 07:30 AM
20 years from now we'll be talking about a parody thread that was poorly merged with another thread and we'll laugh and laugh and laugh. And then dEnny will smite us all.

MWUH HAH HA HA!

I may not wait 20 years.

dEnny!
09-13-2007, 07:30 AM
And by "smite" you mean lick tenderly, right?

You saucy little minx.

Marc Lombardi
09-13-2007, 07:31 AM
And by "smite" you mean lick tenderly, right?


Yes, licking tenderly is the new grope.

Shane W
09-13-2007, 07:32 AM
Yes, licking tenderly is the new grope.

:blurp:

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 07:33 AM
20 years ago I thought Van Halen, Nintendo and Superman were awesome. I still do.

20 years ago, I was a fetus. Good times.

Ryudo
09-13-2007, 07:35 AM
20 years ago, I broke my arm.

I lost my virginity a year and a half ago. :surrend:

PeterSparker
09-13-2007, 07:36 AM
Shane + Jim = Todd

TheKraken
09-13-2007, 07:37 AM
Shane + Jim = Todd

It's not just math... it's love...

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 07:37 AM
Shane + Jim = Todd

The horror...the horror...

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 08:43 AM
The horror...the horror...

Which one of you did I get the sexy from?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 08:44 AM
Which one of you did I get the sexy from?

That would be me. However, the tendency to get kicked in the balls falls back on Jim's side.

copypastepuke
09-13-2007, 08:45 AM
i have no idea of the date i lost my virginity.
is that sad?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 08:47 AM
i have no idea of the date i lost my virginity.
is that sad? I have no idea of the exact date, I just remember it was the same Saturday of the 10th... And that is remembered because September 10th used to mean something to me but I can't remember what. :lol:

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 08:52 AM
That would be me. However, the tendency to get kicked in the balls falls back on Jim's side.

...and the guyliner? That must be a predisposed, instinctual tendency I picked up from one of you two maries. :razz:

Shane W
09-13-2007, 08:54 AM
...and the guyliner? That must be a predisposed, instinctual tendency I picked up from one of you two maries. :razz:

Guyliner? :mistrust: I have no idea what terms you kids use these days.

copypastepuke
09-13-2007, 08:57 AM
I have no idea of the exact date, I just remember it was the same Saturday of the 10th... And that is remembered because September 10th used to mean something to me but I can't remember what. :lol:seriously i dont even remember the month. all i know is that afterwards the girl was nervous about her parents finding the condom, so she made me throw it in the sewer grate LOL ILL NEVER FORGET THAT WALK DOWN TO THE END OF HER DRIVEWAY TO THROW A CONDOM IN THE SEWER :Oops:

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:19 AM
Guyliner? :mistrust: I have no idea what terms you kids use these days.

We've really done a piss poor job as parents here...

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:20 AM
We've really done a piss poor job as parents here...


Well, you waited 20 years to even let me know.. I'm doing my best here as a 3 hour-old parent.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:25 AM
Well, you waited 20 years to even let me know.. I'm doing my best here as a 3 hour-old parent.

Is it too late to have the abortion? We can split the cost - I just need you to drive me there...

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:26 AM
Is it too late to have the abortion? We can split the cost - I just need you to drive me there...

Crap, I'm this close to working at 7-11, aren't I?

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 09:27 AM
Is it too late to have the abortion? We can split the cost - I just need you to drive me there...

:sad:

It's only right for the next generation to transcend the last. Don't kill me out of intense jealousy of my awesomeness. Old people, tells ya.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:28 AM
Crap, I'm this close to working at 7-11, aren't I?

I should have known you were a loser when I was spread-eagled on the bench and you stopped to pick your nose :roll:

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:29 AM
:sad:

It's only right for the next generation to transcend the last. Don't kill me out of intense jealousy of my awesomeness. Old people, tells ya.


It is not awesome to get randomly kicked in the balls nor continue to tip a guy after they complain how little you did.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:29 AM
:sad:

It's only right for the next generation to transcend the last. Don't kill me out of intense jealousy of my awesomeness. Old people, tells ya.

If you think I'm going to give you a spankin', you best keep walking, sonny...

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:29 AM
I should have known you were a loser when I was spread-eagled on the bench and you stopped to pick your nose :roll:

I should have known you were when you spread for me.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:30 AM
I should have known you were when you spread for me.

I WANT A DIVORCE!!!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:32 AM
I WANT A DIVORCE!!!

I WANT MY RECORDS BACK!!!

Masculine Todd
09-13-2007, 09:32 AM
I WANT A DIVORCE!!!

Your breaking up the fucking family. No wonder I'm gay.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:32 AM
I WANT MY RECORDS BACK!!!

I THREW THEM IN THE DUMPSTER!!

YOU GET THE KID(S)!!!!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:33 AM
Your breaking up the fucking family. No wonder I'm gay.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! DADDY LOVED ME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP!!!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:36 AM
I THREW THEM IN THE DUMPSTER!!

YOU GET THE KID(S)!!!!

I WANT PALIMONY AND MAINTENANCE!!

I DID YOUR BEST FRIEND!!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:41 AM
I WANT PALIMONY AND MAINTENANCE!!

I DID YOUR BEST FRIEND!!

TRY AND GET IT!! I BLEW ALL THE MONEY AT THE TRACK!!

AND I DID YOUR MOM!!!!! :mad:

copypastepuke
09-13-2007, 09:43 AM
i am pregnant. and one of you is the father

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:44 AM
i am pregnant. and one of you is the father

IT'S THAT LITTLE FUCKER, TODD, ISN'T?? WHEN I GET HOLD OF THAT KID, I'M GOING TO WRING HIS NECK!!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:52 AM
IT'S THAT LITTLE FUCKER, TODD, ISN'T?? WHEN I GET HOLD OF THAT KID, I'M GOING TO WRING HIS NECK!!

YOU'RE SO SEXY WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY!!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:53 AM
YOU'RE SO SEXY WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY!!

I...I...so are you... :Oops:

Remember...remember how things...used to be?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 09:55 AM
I...I...so are you... :Oops:

Remember...remember how things...used to be?

Yes... I miss those days..

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 09:59 AM
Yes... I miss those days..

When we could just fuck on a bench and not have a care in the world...

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:01 AM
When we could just fuck on a bench and not have a care in the world...

None at all.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:04 AM
None at all.

My God I want you!!!

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:06 AM
My God I want you!!!

Not as much as I want you!

copypastepuke
09-13-2007, 10:07 AM
i wonder if the wood slats on the bench become uncomfortable during bench sex

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:08 AM
Not as much as I want you!

Let's go find that bench again!

Marc Lombardi
09-13-2007, 10:09 AM
Let's go find that bench again!

Yes!!!! Another funny tasting twinkie coming my way.

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:09 AM
Let's go find that bench again!
Alas, they tore it down a coupe of weeks ago. New shopping center going in.

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:13 AM
Alas, they tore it down a coupe of weeks ago. New shopping center going in.

Oh...

Well how about we beat the snot out of Todd for knocking up Hot Pink?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:14 AM
Oh...

Well how about we beat the snot out of Todd for knocking up Hot Pink?

GOD YOU'RE SEXY AGAIN!!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:20 AM
GOD YOU'RE SEXY AGAIN!!

We can beat him while we're naked! :crazy: It could save our whole faux marriage!!




(I may have crossed a whole gay imagery line there...)

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:22 AM
We can beat him while we're naked! :crazy: It could save our whole faux marriage!!




(I may have crossed a whole gay imagery line there...)

What do you mean faux? Are you saying our marriage is a sham? :sad:

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:24 AM
What do you mean faux? Are you saying our marriage is a sham? :sad:

It's real, baby - it's real...I didn't mean "faux" - it was the whiskey talking...

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:25 AM
It's real, baby - it's real...I didn't mean "faux" - it was the whiskey talking...

Oh.. Okay, do you have... "things"?

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:28 AM
Oh.. Okay, do you have... "things"?

Huh? Wha? C'mon, baby - we don't need to worry 'bout that, do we?

Shane W
09-13-2007, 10:30 AM
Huh? Wha? C'mon, baby - we don't need to worry 'bout that, do we?

I.. I guess... I guess not.

TheKraken
09-13-2007, 10:31 AM
I'm having flashbacks... :cry:

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:36 AM
I'm having flashbacks... :cry:

Dewey just killed my erection... :cry:

TheKraken
09-13-2007, 10:42 AM
Dewey just killed my erection... :cry:

You guys fucking on a bench 20 years ago killed my childhood!

Jim T.
09-13-2007, 10:43 AM
You guys fucking on a bench 20 years ago killed my childhood!

Hrm...I seem to be hard again!